niagarekoja
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Posts posted by niagarekoja
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I know a lot of the girls that work in the Go Go bars on Soi Sea dragon from over many years.
And can assure you this practise goes on in all Go Go bars. I normally sit near the cashier and have watched the touts come in with customers and then collect their fee for doing so.
This practise has being confirmed to me by the girls. They know I know what is going on. I get sly looks. Needless to say I mind my own business and have never had a problem paying the normal price for drinks. And I have been followed by touts as well, on their own volition. The touts didn’t get paid!! It also helps if you know the manager! My observations are the people that the touts bring in are that they only have one drink and go. I like drinking there because of the air con. So I spend money. Just keep your eyes open people.
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Fred and Mary get married but couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first
night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred
and Mary are up yet.
She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to
school.'
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom,
'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think!
Eat your lunch and go back to school '
After school,
Johnny comes home and asks again,
'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.'
He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Ok, now tell me what you think?'
He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I
think...
I gave him my airplane glue !!!!!!!
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A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.
OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?
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Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physio Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right.. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?
He replied: It feels great, but I think my thumb's still broken!
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One day in the future, O. J. Simpson has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hel_l, where the devil is waiting for him. 'I don't know what to do here,' says the devil. 'You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a few folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.' OJ thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hel_l. 'No,' OJ said. 'I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long.' The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Madoff with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time. 'No, this is no good. I've got this problem with my shoulder I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,' commented OJ.
The devil opened a third door.
Through it, OJ saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. OJ looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, 'Yeah man, I can handle this.' The devil smiled and said . . . .
'OK, Monica, you're free to go.'
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Not required by law, just as in lots of countries taxi drivers are (or used to be) exempt from wearing seat belts because they have to get in and out of the car a lot.
Actually exempt in the UK. Its so the taxi driver (Hackney only ) is not restrained in the event of trouble.Belts have being used to choke drivers in attacks!
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Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news; the horse died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead horse!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can; Watch me. I just won't tell any body he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead horse?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
Chuck grew up and works now for the government.
He was the one who figured out how to 'bail us out.’
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The marriage of an 80 year-old man and a 20 year-old woman was the talk of
the town!!
After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth
of their first child. The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to
congratulate the old gentleman and said, 'This is amazing. How do you do it
at your age?' The old man grinned and said, 'You got to keep the old motor
running.'
The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of
their second child. The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went
out to congratulate the old gentleman. She said, 'Sir, you are something
else. How do you manage it?' The old man grinned and said, 'You gotta keep
the old motor running.'
A year later, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their
third child. The same nurse was there for this birth also and after the
delivery, she once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said,
'Well, you surely are something else! How do you do it?' The old man
replied, 'It's like I've told you before, you got to keep the old motor
running.'
The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said: Well, I guess
it's time to change the oil. This one's black.'
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A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar
on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a Priest, said:'I am a Father.'
The little boy replied: 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar
like that.'
The priest looked up from his book
and answered:'I am the Father of many.'
The boy said:'My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear
his collar that way!'
The Priest, getting impatient, said 'I am the Father of hundreds'
and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said:
'Maybe you should wear a condom and your pants backwards instead of your
collar'.
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There are two statues in a park; one of a nud_e man and one of a nud_e woman.
They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings
the two to life.
The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for
thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?'
He asks her 'Shall we?'
She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.'
.....and what were YOU thinking?
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A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....Of course, the wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: Glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'
'Uh...yeah, sir.. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you... You see, I'm a genie and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself.'
'Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'
'No problem,' said the genie. 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!' 'And now you young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.
'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,' she said.
'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'
'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'
The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses.. What do you think?'
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'
'You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. 'I'd do the same for you!'
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other in every way. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"
'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.
' NO SHIT.' He said, 'Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?'
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A pompous minister was seated next to a hillbilly from LaFollette Tenn , on a flight across the country.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The hillbilly asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch these lips."
The hillbilly then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said,
"Shit, me too. I didn't know we had a choice."
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It`s not the place it was ten years ago.Thats for sure.Many better value places around.
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I have brought copy DVD!s into the UK on every trip back from Thailand .Maximum about 36. Always in a folder not loose.On the times I was searched.They allowed me to keep them.Including naughty ones. Personnel use.What they are concerned about is anyone copying them.200 a lot though !! Good Luck.
Since I posted the above.I have today Saturday,received by post in the UK. A number DVD`s sent to me by a friend in Bangkok.All arrived OK!,
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I have brought copy DVD!s into the UK on every trip back from Thailand .Maximum about 36. Always in a folder not loose.On the times I was searched.They allowed me to keep them.Including naughty ones. Personnel use.What they are concerned about is anyone copying them.200 a lot though !! Good Luck.
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Have a seven hour connection between flights.Arriving 7;00am Flight to Phuket 14;00. Is it worth traveling to D/M Airport for an earlier flight.And how long/cost to D/M Airport early morning .Advice please !
You must be flying on Thai Airways, TG, I see they have a 1405 hrs flight ex BKK.
However, Air Asia (Thai Air Asia) has one out of BKK at 1050, try them.
Bangkok Airways has one out of BKK at 1145.
Out of DMK (Don Muang) there's:
-- TG 1205 at 1040
-- OG 267 AT 1040 (Orient Thai, http://www.fly12go.com/en/main.shtml)
-- TG 1213 at 1235
Try these.
Mac
Thanks for that !!
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public bus 755 (as I correctly remember) straith outside the arrivals exit is 35 baht and takes around 1h. You might have to wait for up to 1h - depending on the traffic.
Thanks for that Londonthai,but I was really considering taxis surely that should be quicker ??
why not have a night out in bkk ,might be better than all the hectic running around.....
No! done that many times before Then I just run around in the evening if I stay in Bangkok
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public bus 755 (as I correctly remember) straith outside the arrivals exit is 35 baht and takes around 1h. You might have to wait for up to 1h - depending on the traffic.
Thanks for that Londonthai,but I was really considering taxis surely that should be quicker ??
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Have a seven hour connection between flights.Arriving 7;00am Flight to Phuket 14;00. Is it worth traveling to D/M Airport for an earlier flight.And how long/cost to D/M Airport early morning .Advice please !
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A young cowboy from Montana goes off to college, but half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his
money. He calls home.
"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Bozeman that
will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000," the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Ol' Blue doing, son," his father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach
the animals how to read!"
"Read!" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?" "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives.
But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read
something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does.
Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing' around with that little redhead who lives in town?' "The father exclaimed, "I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!" The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.
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HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES
1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, then analyze the
situation:
a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting
Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in
Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in
Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in
Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information
Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking
for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic
Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been
moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management .
Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way
that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in parlaiment.
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A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said: "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys."
He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.
He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that but don't let him do that.
But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you to have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that.. It will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date.
The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted: "Grandma, I didn't let him disgrace the family.
When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family..."
Granny fainted
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After having been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady; can ah persuade y'all to give me a piece of ass?"
"Lord, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had!" gasped the girl. Then she looked around the room, smiled and added, "Sure, why not? You're nice lookin' too and it's pretty slow here right now, so why don't we just slip away up to my room?"
When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress asked, "Will there be anything else, sir?"
"Why yes," replied the southern gentleman. "Ah sure 'preciate what y'all just did for me; it was real sweet and right neighbourly, but where ah come from in Albama, we lack our bourbon real cold, so ah still need to trouble y'all for a piece uh ass for mah drink."
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Four Friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, were reunited at a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom.
Those who remained started talking about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started
working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon
began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the
president of the company. He became so rich that he gave
his best friend a top-of-the-line Mercedes for his birthday."
The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my
pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then
went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became
a partner in the company. Now he owns the majority of its
assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new
jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied at the
best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his
own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He
also gave away something very nice and expensive to his
best friend for his birthday: a 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth
returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the
congratulations for?"
One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we
feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?"
The fourth man replied:
"My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son
and I love him. He hasn't done too bad either. His birthday
was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000
square foot mansion, a brand new jet, and a top- of-the-line
Mercedes from his three boyfriends."
Most Expensive Beer In Phuket?
in Phuket
Posted
I would very strongly disagree with your first sentence/statement I must have imagined it !