Longsands

So I was lucky?

Had a pretty hellish experience in Indo 14 years ago when I was motorbiking from island to island on a pretty old rental. Whilst cruising through Lombok going through a small village a 2 year-old ran right out in front of me. She hit the front right-side fork, propelling her over my shoulder, landing heavily behind me. I actually jumped off the bike, letting it fall to the ground as I ran back to to help. I was absolutely overcome with guilt and grief as I saw her lying motionless. I was attacked by what seemed like all the women in the village; punching, gouging, scratching, kicking. I was rescued by a couple of blokes who grabbed me and dragged me to a little police station, with the screaming mob right behind.

There was not one person who could speak English - so many scenarios were running through my head, though the thought of having killed a child was wreaking me. If she was dead would the police let the lynch mob in? I'd heard tales of bikers killing cows in India getting strung up. Eventually a teacher from a nearby town was brought out to act as a translator - the police wanted to know what drugs I had taken. Again and again they asked that question. I repeatedly denied having taken anything (the truth) and pleaded with them to tell me about the girl's condition. They ignored my question. After about another hour, a man arrived, smiled and told me that the girl had woken up. Relief!! You can't describe it.

Soon I was escorted out to my bike, bags and documents returned, and then smiles, handshakes and waves were offered to me by everyone still present as I rode away!! Weird.

Now, had I not stopped how would I have ever found out that the girl had survived? Knowing my personality the guilt would have eaten away at me. My immediate reaction was to help someone who was hurt, especially as it was I who was involved in the accident.

If I am involved in another accident where someone is hurt I know the advice is don't stop - but I know I will.

However if I am witness to a serious/fatal accident then I will drive on. I have done so 3 times in last 6 months. I'm not at peace with myself for doing so, but the system here persecutes the good samaritan. It is also a shame that, as we all know, had my accident happened in Thailand rather than Indonesia, then the outcome would have been totally different.

Posted on Sat 2004-04-03, 19:02:48

  QUOTE (Bozo @ Sun 2004-03-21, 02:11:03)

So, were your potatoes successfully cooked ?  

A State secret obviously  

Dr P here's a copy of my reply posted the following day.

No secret!!!

After taking on board a lot of helpful advice, I plumped for a 15 minute boil, then wrapped them up in a heck of a lot of foil, then threw them in the coals, for about 1 hour. I then put them on the grill for about another 30 mins as I cooked the meat.

Ended up with what I thought were quite nice baked potatoes, although they had severely reduced in dimension.

As regards my guests' opinions all I can say is that my dog and I ate a lot of potatoes last night!!

A couple of guests said 'aroi' after a little nibble, then slyly hid them under the salad. Some just didn't like the look of my brown shrivelled tatties and didn't give them a try. The missus ate one and was complimentary so not too disheartened.

I'll be trying again in the near future.

Thanks for all your help.

After taking on board a lot of helpful advice, I plumped for a 15 minute boil, then wrapped them up in a heck of a lot of foil, then threw them in the coals, for about 1 hour. I then put them on the grill for about another 30 mins as I cooked the meat.

Ended up with what I thought were quite nice baked potatoes, although they had severely reduced in dimension.

As regards my guests' opinions all I can say is that my dog and I ate a lot of potatoes last night!!

A couple of guests said 'aroi' after a little nibble, then slyly hid them under the salad. Some just didn't like the look of my brown shrivelled tatties and didn't give them a try. The missus ate one and was complimentary so not too disheartened.

I'll be trying again in the near future.

Thanks for all your help.

Now, what was that I just read about female genitals...!!!!!

That I did.

If you follow the links you'll see that they mention cooking in ovens. In my initial post I pointed out that I didn't have an oven. As time was of the essence I thought I'd try and get input from the board.

Thanks for your help anyway.

Cheers for that.

I'm just off to fire up the coals.

I've got to prepare a bbq tonight (Saturday) and I've been asked to serve baked potatoes like the ones you get down on Samet or Koh Chang. I can bake tatties in an oven no problem but I ain't got an oven!! I do have a small BBQ. In the past I've wrapped them in tin foil and then stuck them in the coals, but they've come out burnt on the outside and semi-raw in the middle. The burnt taste permeated the whole potato.

I was thinking of boiling them first for say 10 minutes, then wrapping them in the foil, after that cooking them above the coals on the grill. Unfortunately no time to experiment - any advice most welcome. The clock is ticking.

Lek gets a job working in a restaurant in Brighton. As he's leaving Don Muang his mother slips him 5,000 baht to help him get from Heathrow to Brighton.

When he arrives at Heathrow he goes to the bank to change his money and gets 90 pounds.

After a while there is another job vacancy so Lek phones Tee, his brother, and tells him to join him in England. He told him to change 5000 baht at the airport when he arrives and to then get a taxi to the restaurant.

So Tee arrives at the UK, goes to the bank and asks to change 5000 baht. They only give him 80 pounds. He is confused 'Why you give only 80 pound? Last month you give brother me 90 pound!'

The teller replies 'Fluctuations, sir'

'Hey, fluk you falang - give me my money!'

Agreed if the you know the correct way to return the wai.

Apart from obvious situations (monks, the in-laws, etc.) I personally don't instigate nor reciprocate because I haven't had the 'wai schooling' that all the Thais have had - three levels and all that. For me, I just give a slight bow of the head with a 'saw wad dee' and offer a handshake when appropriate. I hope I'm not offending anybody by doing this but I feel more comfortable doing so.

As for falang waiing falang -

Pop Quiz

Has Cheerless Leader had a lobotomy ? 

What's wrong with this question?

Monkey see, monkey do.

The Times has registration so the esteemed Bangkok Post should too.

Delusion of grandeur in the extreme.

Thanks Membrane, I'll pass that on.

My initial advice was for him to use his ATM until I was informed of the amount!

I'm helping out a friend of a friend so the information available is a bit sketchy, but what if the money to purchase the condo actually came from the profits of the company in BKK? Interestingly the bank have refused to transfer the money to the company's Thai-held business account. I thought he could have absorbed it back into the company. Any idea why they would refuse to release the funds?

Thanks again.

What's the difference between Batman and a scouser?

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Batman can go out without Robin.

A Japanese guy bought a condo in BKK about 5 years ago. Recently sold it for 6 million baht making no profit. Now the guy is back in Japan and TFB or rather Kasikorn Bank won't transfer the money to him in Japan, nor transfer it to his company's business account in Thailand ( he still has the company as a going concern.). He doesn't know why. Can anyone shed some light on this?

Thanks.

The idiot who has to press the 'oh my god it's an advert so lets put an advert for an international school on instead' button goes into overdrive (sorry for the pun), when Top Gear is on BBC World. I guess he gets paid peanuts.

What I want is an easy (free) way to get rid of all these pop-up adverts for Viagra and so on. They seem to have got worse since Microsoft started advertising it's new 'Spam filter' at so much a month

I downloaded the google toolbar which has a pop swatter. No pop-ups now for nearly 3 months. Bliss.

I was first called 'falang kee nok' about 10 years ago when on Koh Chang. A little shit called me it as I walked past him. I was in shorts and T-shirt and had longish hair. I am blue-eyed and very fair-skinned. There is no way on earth that I could have been mistaken for a 'half-falang kid'. He was just repeating an insult which is muttered everyday by his brothers, sisters, mother, father(s), grandparents, et al. At that time Koh Chang was visited mainly by backpackers wanting to smoke Cambodian weed. They were not the cleanest nor well dressed of people. It is an insult. I don't hear it directed to me so much nowadays - I generally dress 'lor' and associate with Thais who wouldn't dream of insulting me (to my face!).

A couple of years back in the classroom as I was monitoring group talk I heard it said behind me. I span round and glared at the students (adults). For the rest of the lesson the three of them didn't raise their heads and there was an awkwardness in the air as other students got wind of what had been said. At the end of the class the three of them apologised very sincerely for using that expression in the classroom and were at pains to point out that they were not referring to me. (Of course someone will now post that Thais never apologise because that would show loss of face)

Could the generally accepted meaning have changed over time? Like how 'gay' has in English.

Today I will hopefully be meeting the owner of a speak Thai webpage. We have very blunt converstions regarding slang idioms and insults. I'll put forward all the posted definitions and see how they are rated.

Then again, why bother as all Thais are just too polite to hurt our sensitive feelings. Right?

The falang is bird shit

I think it means a low class, poor looking person. The Thais like to use it to describe those fat, tattooed, drunken slobs that inhabit beer bars, walk around in Singha vests that haven't been washed for days, and with a scraggy bargirl in tow.

A woman goes to the docs with a personal problem.

The doc asks her if she had ever had a check up.

Her reply ' No. But I've had a couple of Poles '

Paddy walks alone into his local of 30 years and goes to the bar.

"Give me 10 pints of Guinness, please Mick"

Mick, thinking there must be a group of Paddy's mates coming duly pulls 10 pints of Guinness, lining them up on the bar. Paddy proceeds to then drink the first, the third, the fifth, the seventh, and the ninth pint of Guinness. He then pays the bill leaving the second, the fourth, the sixth, the eighth, and the tenth pint of Guinness untouched.

Next night in walks Paddy, again ordering 10 pints of Guinness. Once they are all lined up he goes through the same procedure drinking the first, the third, the fifth, the seventh, and the ninth pint of Guinness. He then pays the bill leaving the second, the fourth, the sixth, the eighth, and the tenth pint of Guinness untouched.

The following evening Paddy hits the bar again, ordering ten pints but only drinking the first, the third, the fifth, the seventh, and the ninth pint of Guinness. He then pays the bill leaving the second, the fourth, the sixth, the eighth, and the tenth pint of Guinness untouched. He's about to walk out when Mick stops him and asks;

"Why have you come in here the last three nights, ordered 10 pints of Guiness but only drunk the first, the third, the fifth, the seventh, and the ninth pint of Guinness?"

"Oh Mick, I'll tell you why I only drink the first, the third, the fifth, the seventh, and the ninth pint of Guinness -

...the doctor told me I must only drink the odd pint of Guinness!"

Mrs Jones goes to the doctor's...

What's the problem, Mrs Jones?

Well doctor, I've been having problems with my aviaries...

Your what?

My aviaries, doctor.

Oh Mrs Jones you mean your OVARIES...

No DOCTOR! I mean my AVIARIES.

Listen Mrs Jones. I've been a doctor for 30 years and I'm telling you, you DON'T have aviaries, you have ovaries...

YOU LISTEN TO ME DOCTOR! It IS my aviaries.

OK OK, get undressed, sit in the chair, and put your legs in the stirrups, and let me have a look.....JESUS CHRIST Mrs Jones, you are right, you do have problems with your aviaries. You've had a cock or two up here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back in the early 90's there was Hin Lek Fie - Stone Metal Fire. I bought some of their tapes back then and took them back to the UK. Anybody who got in my car had to lend them an ear, and I ended up brainwashing a few of my mates. Generally rock, both slow and hard. The singer is still going strong in The Sun. Often get my Thai friends to sing their stuff to help me endure those dreaded karoke nights occasionally forced upon me.

Lam Morrison was also a bit of a showman, covering lots of stuff. Last saw him at the Sofitel, Khon Kaen, 3 years ago. Enjoyable.

As far as I know...

You don't need to go to the bridge rather the NK Immigration Office, which is on the approach to the bridge.

It is on the road which goes from the bridge direct to Mittraphap Road, by-passing Nong Khai . If arriving from Udon this road is well sign-posted, left turn at the traffic lights about 7km before NK. The office is about 5 km down this road, on the right hand side.

If you're in NK take the road towards the bridge via the railway station (don't turn in to the station), when you get to the end of the road take a left (right is to the bridge) and it's about 700 m on the left.

Regards paying $30 for the privilage of entering Laos for 2 minutes, it's a must...however prior to Hambali I knew of visa runners just crossing the road at the Laos end and jumping back on the bus to Thailand, without entering Laos. Sometimes the Thai Immigration officers couldn't be bothered to thumb through looking for the Laos exit stamp and they got away with it. Often not! Since the shit sarting hitting the fan these guys haven't pushed it and just paid the $30 instead.

Make sure you buy the dollars before going to the bridge, if you pay in baht they use a Hans Christian Andersen exchange rate!