NancyL

Hmm, I'm thinking of showing this drawing to my Thai dressmaker -- clever lady that she is. Both she and I are well-endowed and have trouble finding bras that fit in Thailand. Perhaps she could whip something up that's closer to the original design. Of course, since this is Thailand, she wouldn't use handkerchiefs. It must be slightly padded for the sake of modesty. Maybe cut up a mattress pad.

The OP lists hearing voices, substance abuse, inability to socialize or put on a happy face as primary symptoms. Those sounds like something that should first be checked out by a psychiatrist before looking at less likely causes like Lyme disease.

Had the OP listed chronic fatigue and neurological symptoms, then yes, maybe Lyme disease should be higher up on the list.

Yes, but is Rim Ping going to roast a goose or two for those of us without a large oven?

So, 'food game' on Thanksgiving Day, 27 November 2014. I'll be there, where ever. Hmm, what about the football game? The Lions vs the Cowboys this year?

Hmm ... are you sure? Checking a couple of website's, like Detroit Lions and ESPN, it's Detroit vs. the Chicago Bears at 12:30 pm EST which is something like 12:30 am Friday, November 28 here.

Not quite the same as the good old Michigan tradition of watching the Hudson's parade on TV in the morning while fixing dinner. Eating dinner, then the men folk retiring to the TV room in front of a too-hot fire while the women cleaned up and everyone watching the Detroit Lions loose to whomever that year.

Now it seems the Detroit Lions actually win more games than they lose. And Hudson's isn't around any more either. Those stores are Macy's stores, which doesn't sponsor the parade. Instead, a whole other outfit sponsors a better parade. You just can't count on things staying the same.

Wow, 239 baht per kilo for Butterballs at Rim Ping Prom? I went to Rim Ping Nim City on Thursday and was surprised to find just two Butterballs remaining in their freezer -- little 5 kgs bird. Snapped 'em both up at 290 baht/kg with Rim Ping doing the cooking. Those of us without cars can't be paying our tuk-tuk driver to run all over town looking for the best deal and Rim Ping Nim City has always done a great job cooking AND delivering to our condo exactly when I'm ready to put the feast on the table.

They had a whole flock of Norbest birds, big beasts, but we all know they're not Butterballs. The manager said she wasn't certain if they were going to get more Butterballs before Thanksgiving.

I considered myself lucky after listening to Friday evening's NBC evening news on-line. Seems there are labor problems at the ports all up-and-down the west coast of the U.S. and ships from Asia are stacking up, unable to unload containers of goods for holiday shoppers. On the flip side, goods bound for Asia aren't getting out. They interviewed a Christmas tree farmer from Oregon who will be out $50,000 this year because his fresh-cut trees won't make it to Asia. Drat -- I always loved seeing the cut Christmas tress from the U.S. on sale at Rim Ping. Never bought one. Seems even more frivolous than insisting on Butterball turkeys for Thanksgiving and Christmas. But, it was a nice touch of home at the Rim Ping.

Here's the USPS website: https://www.usps.com/ship/priority-mail-express-international-flat-rate.htm?

Looks like a 20 lb limit to their global priority mail flat rate box, so depending on the size of the OP's book, the publisher may have to do two shipments.

I agree, there could be issues with tracing and insurance -- for high value shipments I'd use DHL/FedEx but after all these are newly published books and if lost, the OP could always just buy copies of his own book, couldn't he? Surely the publisher would give him the wholesale rate.

Incidentally, we've never had anything lost when shipping this way.

Congratulations on getting your book published!

When in doubt, I've found that shipping via U.S. Postal Service attracts less attention from Thai Customs than does shipping via FedEx/UPS/DHL. USPS has a service they call Global Priority Mail and flat rate boxes that are really great for shipping books and other heavy stuff. The weight of the shipment doesn't matter -- you can ship anything you want for a flat rate, just so it fits into the box. That's how we shipped our book collection when we moved here -- a herd of USPS Global Priority Mail Boxes. Easier and cheaper than shipping DHL/FedEx/UPS. We did ship other items via DHL because of the need to insure, trace, etc and we had a big headache with customs.

^^ Nancy ... I do believe that it's a two-way street.

But it's a story that isn't often mentioned.

Thanks for recounting your experiences ...

Yes, in no way am I condoning the OP's wife "stealing" from a joint bank account, but it does point to the need for her to have her own independent source of income (i.e. allowance) over which she has total control if she has no other source income. Presumably, she has dedicated her life to caring for the OP, his child and their household. This is work of value and should be compensated.

I know there are those who decry the practice of giving a Thai partner an allowance, equating it to paying a hooker a salary to stay with you, but let's get real. Every person wants to feel that their daily activity has worth, that they're making a contribution. Presumably the OP's wife gave up the opportunity to earn income by agreeing to marry him and stay home to have his child and care for his household.

And I'm speaking as a women who has been in a marriage of nearly 40 years and worked in a career where I have a pension and retirement fund in my own name of about the same size as my husband's. Of course, I trust him and find his financial decisions sound and we pool our income, but it's just good to know that if I had to, I could make my own way in the world. Could the OP's wife?

In situations where a man is too controlling about "his" money and a woman has no way to save money of her own, clever women often find a way to salt away funds even if they plan for the marriage to last. You just never know what's going to happen.

As has been mentioned, women from many cultures salt away money -- have been doing it for generations. Especially if they didn't have their own independent source of income. However, it doesn't mean they were planning to leave the old man. I imagine most of the posters expressing outrage and advising the OP to break up his marriage probably had mothers who did the same thing from the household allowance, grocery money or by selling eggs or butter to the neighbors.

There is a difference between keeping money back from your housekeeping, and taking money from your partners bank account.

I am in no way saying what the OPs wife did was right. What I'm doing is trying to provide another perspective; to give some insight as to how/why the OP's wife may be thinking the way she is. And to point out that her actions are in no way unique to the Thai culture -- despite all the bashing of Thai women that is occurring.

As has been mentioned, women from many cultures salt away money -- have been doing it for generations. Especially if they didn't have their own independent source of income. However, it doesn't mean they were planning to leave the old man. I imagine most of the posters expressing outrage and advising the OP to break up his marriage probably had mothers who did the same thing from the household allowance, grocery money or by selling eggs or butter to the neighbors.

I wonder how many of the guys on this thread who are saying that without trust a marriage is over have ever cheated on their wife? Hmm...... just a thought.

My mother embezzled from my father for years. He insisted they have an "honest, open partnership", yet he was the only one working and refused her pleas to put her on a household allowance. At best he'd give her enough cash for school lunches and minor expenses. Instead he said, just write a check at the grocery, hairdressers, drycleaners (this was back when checks were widely used in the U.S.) He kept meticulous track of all the household expenses. What he didn't realize was that all these businesses would let regular customers write a check for $10 or $20 over the actual amount. He just thought that the household expenses were whatever she recorded on the checkbook register.

Over time, she built up a nice nest-egg and even had a bank savings account in her own name, bought CDs and did other low-risk investing.

Why? My dad had no concept of saving for a rainy day. He thought the good times would last forever. He figured the company pension and social security would be enough for retirement. Man was he wrong. Her not-so-little nest-egg was a very pleasant surprise to him when he lost his job at age 58 in an economic downturn and couldn't find any other employment beyond working at the local Sears store. I had known about it for years and helped her to develop the plan to reveal it to him. It was really a financial intervention -- she was telling him about it on the condition that now she would take over the money management and they would downsize their lifestyle to live within their means and start saving.

She was right, of course.

Perhaps there is something similar going on with the OP. The fact she hasn't spent the money, but instead is hoarding it, tells me she has real concerns for the future. Someday the OP may thank her, the way my Dad thanked my Mom.

Incidentally, I wonder if the hoard of the OP's wife is larger than that of the OP?

As said you do not need a OA visa to apply for a extension of stay based upon retirement.

Is it your visa that is expiring in 6 weeks or your current to permit to stay?

You will need 800k baht in a Thai bank in your name only for 60 days or proof of 65k baht income or a combination of the 2 totaling 800k baht.

That is my permit to stay until January 6. - I am aware of all the documentation that I need to apply for retirement visa. Thanks for clear answers

You will not be applying for a retirement visa. You will be applying for a 12-month extension to your permission to stay due to retirement. This is commonly called a "retirement extension"

Many people will say they go to immigration every year "to renew their retirement visa" No, what they're actually doing is getting a new extension to their permission to stay due to retirement. The visa expired a long time ago. You can obtain a 12-month extension due to retirement from either a O visa or a O-A visa.

I wonder if they're requiring this of all applicants for retirement visas at Nathon Imigration on Koa Samui or just slecting individuals based on (what?), nationality, appearance, past history, .....

Given the circumstances, I think the OP did just fine and had a good learning experience. First lesson is just what a great deal the fares on the fixed song thaew routes are -- 20 baht from MaeJo! Another lesson is when they stop running. Third lesson is to plan ahead if you're going to be in town after dark. And a fourth lesson might be to check out some inexpensive accommodation in town for the next time the urge strikes to live it up and stay out past 6 pm.

Not only did my friend believe the bank manager when she wanted to name me (an unrelated person) as a beneficiary of her bank account, but ultimately Bangkok Bank did pay me the funds in her account upon her passing without the need for probate. She did have a Final Will, in English, but it was written and witnessed here in Thailand.

It probably helped that both my friend and I were very well known to the bank personnel and my friend had made her wishes very clear to them before her passing.

In general, there's nothing the matter with a son having access to his mom's ATM card and PIN number to help her pay her bills while she is still alive. This is a common practice and doesn't raise an eyebrow with a bank. However, the bank account should be frozen upon Mom's death until the estate is sorted. Be aware that in Thailand, if Mom dies without a Final Will, then ALL her children inherit at the same level -- even if the OP was a co-signer or joint owner on a bank account. Mom really should have a Thai Will for her Thai assets.

In Chiang Mai, I've always found banks willing to release funds from bank accounts to pay medical bills, even if the account owner is unable to sign or make a decision. They send a representative to the hospital to check out the situation and will write a check directly to the hospital. However, they will not release funds for other purposes, like to make housing rental payments or utility payment for the patient or to fly family members here to visit the patient. Also, they won't release funds at all once a person is deceased, even for the final medical bill or funeral expenses.

If Mom's only Thai asset is her bank account, then the OP doesn't need a Thai POA really, but a Final Will for Mom. Remember, a POA terminates would terminate upon Mom's death. Ultimately, her U.S. Final Will would be honored here, but it would streamline access to the money to have a Thai Final Will.

I'm surprised with the news that Thai hospitals won't honor a U.S. Living Will or Advance Health Directive. I've seen them used here in Chiang Mai. Usually the hospitals and doctors appreciate the guidance. The only time there could be a problem is if the parties around a patient were in disagreement about a patient's care.

Local practices are probably different elsewhere in Thailand. Some of the actions I've described here have taken the intervention of the local consulate because an unrelated third party was acting on behalf of the patient. This may not be necessary in the OP's case, since he is taking care of his Mom.

It's not clear if he has a multi-entry O visa -- which would give him 90 days permission to stay with each entry, or a O-A visa, which would give him 12-month permission to stay with each entry.

He should take a look at the "admitted until" date stamped in his passport when he entered the country. That will tell him if he has to go to the border or not. If it's a multi-entry O visa, then he has to leave the country every 90 days. If it's an O-A visa, then he doesn't have to; he just has to let the local Immigration office know when he remains in the country for longer than 90 days.

The ceremony is every year at the foreign cemetery. Same format. Best to show up around 10:30 am. The service starts around 10:45 am, perhaps a bit later so we're remembering at the 11th hour of the 11th day. Then afterwards many people adjourn over to the Gymnkhana Club for a mid-day buffet and to toast fallen comrades. Rather subdued, actually and most people dress like they're at a funeral service, which is appropriate. It's a moving ceremony and always a good day to get us thinking.

As Americans, we like the more "British" spin on the day where civilians who lost their lives in conflicts are honored in addition to people in military service. This is something we don't often think about in the U.S., but is very much a reality to those from Europe.

Junglechef,did they look in your passport to determine your house owner hadn't filed the report or did they look on the computer to determine this report was missing. Just wondering. I don't see any special note in my passport that this report has been filed by my condo management and I know it has been.

I know mine has been done because I rent in a condo building and the management is very careful to ask new foreign residents to submit a copy of the photo page of their passport for just this purpose.

One time we were gone for a few weeks and had a friend cat-sit and live in our condo and they were very grateful that I gave them a copy of the photo page of her passport a day or two before she came without them having to ask.

Big places like condos and hotels can file this report on-line.

Usually Boots have them in the foot care section if you want to pay western prices. As mentioned you can find them in Warorot. Often I see them in Tops and Rim Ping in the section with personal care products where they display twisers, nail files, nail clippers and other small tools used in personal care. I prefer the metal files with a long handle, not a pumice stone. You can get more leverage with a long-handled tool

Regular pedicures at good nail salon can be a real help, too. Hubby treats himself once a month to keep his foot calluses under control.

Hubby got a re-entry permit last week after he got his annual retirement visa extension at Immigration. Unfortunately, he got his queue number just before lunch and was told to come back after lunch. He got out of Immigration at about 2:15 pm.