gerryBScot

There will probably be a fixed price for Ban Phe. If you go to the desk for the normal taxis and tell them where you want to go they'll give you the price there and should write it on the ticket they give to the driver. Ratchaburi, which is further I think, is about 1400b plus the toll charges. I think they have the destinations tarrif in Engllsh as well.

Hi Ahinkel and welcome. The final years of my drinking were characterised by almighty benders usually in the bars of Chiang Mai. As you probably know already within certain limits Thailand is very drunk friendly especially if you are throwing money about and mainly hanging out in beer bars. My drinking was characterised by a general attitude of "f*-k it, might as well, I am not really an alcoholic and anyway I am on holiday now so a wee drink won't hurt.....", both in Thailand and more generally back in the UK. There is a saying, if you spend enough time in a barbershop, you'll get a haircut. You might not know that it is easier to stay sober than to get sober. I wouldn't rate your chances highly if you are hanging out in the bars here and trying to do it on willpower alone. If you are like me you'll drink for any reason, doesn't really matter, met a nice girl,let's celebrate, met an awful girl, need a drink. If you value not drinking, don't test yourself unnecessarily, avoid wet places. There's good advice here, try some AA meetings in the UK before you come out, and aim to spend some time in a place in Thailand where there are meetings. I am unavowedly AA and would point you in the direction of Hua Hin on the Gulf of Thailand, about 4 hours south of Bangkok, with the added benefit of a daily AA meeting and some night life but not like Pats. Best wishes

Well done Eek and well done Philo, well done anyone who has not had a drink today. Eek I stopped and started for 30 years, no real significant period of abstinence, days, maybe a couple of weeks, and then for some silly reason i'd go out and have a few drinks. usually nothing too silly to begin with but eventually I would end up on a major bender, blitzkrieg drinking. I had been dry for 30 days or so when I went to my first AA meeting, over 5 years ago, haven't drunk since. Don't miss it, don't want it, don't need it. Better without it in every sense of the word. I didn't give anything up, rather I got back stuff. Life immeasurably better, married, a new born kid, working here. I still go to AA. It is the only thing that has kept me sober. There are some new meetings in Chiang Mai which might be worth checking out but I tell you if you feel like having a drink any AA meeting will be better for you than a saloon. Go in and tell them your story, it will be good for them to hear and as well as helping you it might help someone else. Good luck!

to philo and to gerryBscott,i have no idea what it must be like to be going through what you are going through but i am sure it will help others that read this topic,i have read all the replies and it reads like a chat room conversation which is easy to follow.good luck to both of you.

I am ok not had a drink for over five years one day at a time. I have had astonishing good fortune since I quit drinking and am not contemplating a resumption! but SBC thanx for your good wishes

just don't take the first drink Philo, that is the only way you can get drunk. don't do it. then you won't get drunk. you can have as many resentments as you like, just don't drink on them. get through this spell and get back to a safe place as soon as you can. there are other ways of getting your visa issues resolved. use them. remember it is a lot easier staying sober than getting sober. I am home now. safe and just had our lunch time meeting.

Hope your trip to Udon went well. I had a long drive back but glad to say we made it and now at home. All well. Don't take any chances P and keep posting. G

Yeah great job Philo just don't take the first drink, it is as easy and as difficult as that. You need to remember your missus and kid[s?] are probably off their heads as a result of living with you, in their own way as sick as you [and me!]. It might take them a long time to understand that you are changing. Up to this point in their lives your behaviour has probably been very predictable. What you are doing now will actually be pretty shocking and threatening for them too. They'll probably be the last people to acknowledge the change, especially as the change will be ongoing and gradual. I got into CM last night and got lost on my way to the meeting this morning, took the wrong turn on the superhighway, but I will hopefully be there tonight and will be interested to hear how you are getting on. Once more well done.

Well done Philo you are doing great. I would be terrified about being discharged too but you have done the right thing by checking into a place where other AAs live. It is nothing short of remarkable how quickly the body can recover. I was measured at the end of my drinking days as having 8200 irregular heart beats in 24 hours; three years after stopping drinking I was discharged from cardiology with a clean bill of health, free of all meds, and told that the same test revealed 2 ['two'] irregular beats in 24 hours. The cardiologist told me he was quite clear it was all drink related and told me if I drank again I was signing my death certificate. The mental recovery takes much more time but......<deleted>! I am spending a few days in Chiang Mai next week, hope to bump into you at meetings and I'll buy you a coffee. Keep going strong and when you get out there, just don't drink and don't test yourself.... avoid wet places in the first instance........ and be grateful, cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Well done

so no more replies from him. it is a shame as i just started following his threads. i hope that livinginexile is still doing

well but i think proberly not otherwise he would of posted!!!!

rick

maybe he is too busy getting on with his life! don't fear the worst. you should follow philo's threads in this section....an amazing story unfolding there!

Philo well done mate. Just do your best every day, every hour. there is plenty of sh*t without having to look for it. sounds as if you are starting to sort out the debris that surrounds you. just do it gradually and bit by bit. remember you don't need to sort out your life in one day or one week or one year. take your time and on those days when it gets on top of you just concentrate on not drinking and regard anyday without alcohol as a good day. there will be many pleasant surprises ahead for you as well as the crap. you may hear the birds singing in the morning and notice things you haven't been aware of for a long time. you could go and see a movie.....you can start living again. keep posting about your progress and well done....just for today!

Philo can you afford inpatient detox in Thailand? That's probably the first thing you need....a medically supervised detox where they will fill you up with pills to ward off the heebeegeebees and DTs and stuff. Do it gently. Generally they say, although I am no medic, that it takes about 7 days to detox the alcohol out of your system. Thereafter I would suggest you head back to the rooms of AA and see how you get on, preferably live in the AA rooms simply to get you out of being isolated in your own room and in your own head. Your own head is clearly not your best buddy right now! You say you identify with folk in the rooms. That bodes well. You will only be able to treat any other mental illness once you are sober. You are not necessarily going to get any better or even better treatment back in Europe or N America. Yeah there are specialist services and lots of them, but they all have their limitations and in the end a lot of the people who maintain long term sobriety do it in AA. I am unashamedly AA and if you want to talk further PM me. Unfortunately Philo your circumstances are all too common. I have been where you are at. My circumstances could not be more different today. There is hope for you.

many tanks nev

shermans:)

many tanks nev

A few years back I worked with ex-cons and one of my clients, a professional pickpocket, told me two things. Never carry a wallet and if you carry cash the best place to carry it is in a rolled up long sleeve. The rationale for this was that pickpockets need to act very quickly and in a worst case scenario, where you are assaulted, a knock on the head let us say, they will not have the time to unroll your sleeve and get your dosh. They will also be able to quickly get to your wallet, get the loot and discard the rest. I think the thing about the credit cards is they are evidence, so if they have them, or the wallet or the bag or whatever in their possession when they get captured then there is a clear evidential link which will get them convicted. I have used the long sleeve method for carrying money and I must say it works just fine. I got drugged and robbed a few years ago in Myanmar, my only experience of this type of thing and they stole travellers cheques, very smart too just a couple not the lot, in a wallet, but my cash in my sleeve was there when I came to and realised what had happened.

Anyone know if this is being broadcast live in Thailand tomorrow morning and if so what channel?

We went to Langkawi from K Perlis via train from Thailand. Best thing to do is get off at the border, Padang Basar, and then get a taxi to the pier, about a 40 minute ride costing about £12 GBP. Regular boat service. (I hated Langkawi, thought it was absurdly expensive and was delighted to get back to Thailand.) You pass through immigration at Padang Basar, the border crossing.... there is no reason why you cannot leave Thailand at this train station and re-enter without going any further.....you just might have a long wait for the next train back north. Also remember this is a land border so they will only issue you with 15 days on visa on arrival but if you have a multi entry non-imm or tourist visa entry just make sure they give you the right number of days. You can also go via Satun and I believe there are also sea links from Krabi etc.

Well done LIE I am so glad you are knocking out the days and I get a real sense from your posts you are grateful for your sobriety and not looking back on your drinking days with nostalgia. That bodes well. I have been busy, my first child was born last week, and for me aged 51 that is a miracle. What was also a miracle was I was sober for it all, just like my wedding.I can remember it all. I don't have a photograph album for the 30 years I drank but for the events of 5+ years of sobriety I do. get out there son and live life to the max! God bless you

Fantastic, had my daughter at 51, if you are anything like me you will love it, she is now almost 7 and my buddy, we go off for a macdonalds breakfast every sat morning and i surprise her with pick up from school sometimes,.i now have 2 females in my life that i love, for me anyway after reading about babies crying and the terrible 2s, we have been so lucky as we have had neither,...enjoy, we are unfortunatly not here for ever and speaking again for myself i know im a better dad now than i would have been in my 20-30s, good luck,.

Thanks for that. I'll definitely be a better dad, no doubt there. If I had the boy 25 years ago or 15 or 10 or even 5 years ago I dread to think what I would have inflicted on him and his mother....I am a sober drunk. I am going to stay sober too and it's nice no one has to tell me about what I did at my wedding and now it is the same: I can remember the day my son was born. I was able to be there for both the boy and his mum. I think his mother would take him to MacDonald's every day if she could! And yeah we are all softies really. Thanks and take care

What are the Thai laws concerning citizenship, lot's of countries grant citizenship if the child is born in the country regardless of the parents citizenship.

Thanks for the Benedict explanation, although I keep flashing to Howard Stern's "Pope Benedict Bela Lugosi" imitation. Sorry!

Anyway......Congrats!

don't worry Graham i can imagine and look forward to checking out the Howard Stern Bela Lugosi Pope reference online. Benedict would need to have a Thai parent to claim citizenship. I guess he is in a lucky position though as he will be able to stay here with us in Thailand for as long as we're here, and he will be able to take British and Phillipine citizenship. There are no prizes for guessing which one he will be taking! One thing that is interesting is that under Philllipine immigration laws I get a year's residence free with no further questions asked on entry to the Phils so long as I enter with my wife and have a copy of the letter issued by the Phil Embassy in BKK when we registered our wedding. But we are going to stay here for a while as we are so happy here in the LOS. I got all this information here on TV, free, and now I am getting top tips on being a father! Pretty dam_n fine I say.....cigars all round!

Ok here is a pic....an incredulous fatherwith his new born son

Don't forget to post some pictures. We are all waiting.

Annie thx the pics can be viewed on www.gerryb-inthailand.blogspot.com

Congrats Gerry.

You've worked a miracle. You have bought a dissenting rebellious cantankerous

grouchy petulant fault-finding hypercritical persnickety exigent pestiferous irritating provoking disturbing disagreeable group of individuals together.

Oh and congratulations on the kid too

Hehe that's me you are describing! Nothing to do with me, that's what the little boy has done!

Once more many thanks for your kind words. I just left mother, Luna, and son at the hospital (04:15 Thailand), both doing really well. He seems to be a very sweet little boy and likes to be kissed and likes to hear our voices. The nurses adore him likewise Luna's filipino chums.Yeah this is strong stuff. Answers to some questions. Yes Benedict is very papal! We are both Catholics so that's part of the reason for the name, but the real reason is the child is a great blessing for us both and Benedict means that in Latin. We reckon he was a wedding night conception too and with my wife aged 35 and me just turned 50 when we married, an immediate pregnancy was what we wanted. The priest who married us, a Thai national, he's called Panya, which I believe means wisdom in Pali, so he's going to be Benedict Panya with my wife's family name and then my surname. The boy will be able to claim British & Filipino citizenship but not Thai. We see ourselves staying in Thailand for the forseeable future as we both work here and are fairly settled and really love it here, especially here in Ratchaburi. So he's going to get exposure to quite a bit of linguistic variation :Tagalog, Ilongo, Thai, English and our home helper is from the Karen tribe speaking Kariang and Thai! But I agree with just about everything that has been said and believe you me, I am such a happy father....better get some sleep now while I still can!!!!

Benedict was born at 14:41 this afternoon and weighed in at 2.75 kg. Thanks for the wise words and congratulations. Really kind. I am not quite sure what lies ahead as my wife is a filipina working here, as do I. But we are both thrilled to bits with our new son, he is healthy and mum is making a good recovery. There are some pictures posted on my blog. www.gerryb-inthailand.blogspot.com . In truth it is a fairly daunting propsect but I feel really positive about the whole thing. I cannot describe the feeling of being left alone in the nursery at the hospital with the boy in my arms, while his mother was in the recovery room. Very happy with the medics and nursing team at the hospital. Once more many thanks. I don't care immediately about the prospect of not sleeping

Hi folks I am just about to take my wife to the hospital in Ratchaburi and later this afternoon our son will come into this world, my first child. I would be very surprised if I was unique in having my first kid at this age and am sure there are a number of guys out there who were late starters. Any advice or suggestions from your experience? Many thanks. Will be back afk for the next several hours. Once more many thanks.