GuestHouse

Tippaporn,

Please if anything in my attitude has caused offense, I offer my appologies. I am genuinely interested in hearing your point. To that end can I ask that you indulge me by going back to the very specific question I have asked. I'll remove anything that you might find to be 'trite' in order not to offer offense or distraction.

And please for once believe me, I am sincerely interested to see your response:

A woman goes to bed in her own home where she has lived perhaps all her life in safety.

A stranger breaks into the house while she is asleep, gets into her bedroom and rapes her.

The test of your prepositon is simply to tell us, what part the woman's thoughts had in her becoming the victim of a Rape?

The following is perhaps deserving of some explanation.

I believe that this is the definition I was looking for and the one that is less seen in most rape cases I have witnessed...

Richard Branson started with 100 quid.

Why does a woman minding her own business find herself in the wrong place at the wrong time? Nobody knows why.

So let me get this right.

A woman goes to bed in her own home where she has lived perhaps all her life in safety.

I stranger breaks into the house while she is asleep, gets into her bedroom and rapes her. ( A scenario that is repeated often around the world).

The woman is raped, she is a vicitim of rape, she did nothing to preciptate her rape.

The rapist made the decision to rape. It is he who is responsible and it his HIS THOUGHTS that led to the rape.

Now. Don't waffle, stick to the point and tell us how a rape victim (female of male) in this situation has any part to play in the attack other than being a victim. You can repeat quotations from management motivation books till the cows come home, what I would like to see is reasoned argument. (Sadly lacking).

There have been relatively few rapes compared to western cities and nations.

Utter nonsense.

That there have been relatively few reported rapes is indisputable, but that is not evidence of fewer rapes.

The lack of support for women who file rape complaints and the stigma attached to rape victims in Thailand ensures that rapes go unreported.

Be careful here.

A fire might not be a fire.

Just like a crack in the runway might not be a crack in the runway.

The last thing we want is civil actions for defemation.

You know it's getting time to leave when you are having to change the remenants of change left in the bottom draw.

What I argue is, it is not the mind of the victim that determines if and why a rape occurs, it is the mind of the attacker. We have responsibility for our actions.

You will of course immediately recognize this as stemming from St Agustine’s preposition with respect to the centrality of will controlling our actions. Perhaps, you and I might discuss that if and when a philosophy branch ever starts. Meanwhile, you might want to revist Descartes, so you can 'refresh' yourself on exactly what it is he said about thought and reality.

Oh and St Augustine was a man.

Tippaporn,

Please do not mistake volume for substance.

Nothing that you have said, adds to or enlightens the discussion, though I will accept that this might not be so in your own perception.

can you please define what you mean by violent???

I think that if someone forced their way into your body, you would regard that, in a very true sense of the word, as violent. I know I would.

prostitution and pornography legalised in holland in the sixties

pornography legalised in america in the late 60's 68 i think

any way after these were legalised rapes incidences increased at alarming rates, why?

Perhaps the most signicant issue in the rape statistics is the attitudes of the victims to their experience. Tippaporn is coming dangerously close to suggesting the victim's mindset determines their victimhood. I don't agree with that argument.

However, women in the west, and particularly America, have become far more aware of their rights and perhaps more importantly far more assertive in claiming their rights not to be victims. This results in a willingness to report rapes and that eventually appears as higher rape statistics. The truth is not more rapes, but more rapes reported.

Thai women have yet to assert themselves on this issue, until they do, they will remain silent victims and some will see that as evidence that there is a lower incident of rape in Thailand.

Sadly we know from experienc of every country that has adopted more womens rights that the incidence of rape is hidden until women gain confindence to report the crime and, importantly, support when they do report the crime.

Tragically this is also true of that other festerring sex crime, child abuse. The lid is still on the pot. When it eventually does fly off, and Thailand sees that these crimes have the same causes, the same perpetrators and the same victims as everywhere else that cared to look, there will be the same old outcry.... 'Shock horror, how could this happen here?'.

For now, point the finger else where, blame foreigners, blame the victims.

But at some time the reckonning has to be made. There is a causal link between a lack of woman's rights and rape and what a Catholic priest can do, so can a monk.

.

Go speak to a finacial adivisor.

Sit down and write out an expendature sheet (be realistic) and then talk to your advisor about how much investment you need to meet your expendature.

Get that figure sorted out and then discuss how you can achieve it.

Cashing in endowments ealry (I presume you are cashing early) is going to cost you a packet - The penalties are going to make the difference between investing the residue on/off shore pale into insignificance.

Rape is directly related to attitudes towards women - There is no evidence that the availability of prostitutes reduces rapes, indeed, were you to examin the number of Thai rape victims you would realize that Rape is endemic in Thailand.

The difference you attribute to restrictions of night life in Thailand is actually one of perception. A Thai woman gets raped and there is nothing in the news (unless she or her attacker are famous or her attacker is a foreigner). A western woman gets raped and its all over the headlines.

If there is a cause in the number of western rape women being raped, it is either the increase in western women in Thailand and/or the attitudes of Thai men to western women.

We non of us are in Thailand long before a Thai asks us about western women and 'Free Sex'. Many Thai men, if not all, believe on some level that western women are 'loose' and 'put out' - Just as many men in the west believe that Thai women are all available for sex.

This should help

Directory of Architects in Thailand

The racism implicit in many of the posts on this thread disgusts me, which you may not consider a matter of concern to yourself.

That it reflects on the members of ThaiVisa should concern all of us.

Good Bread

There was a white English guy who did a demonstration of Thai boxing at the Thai festival in Wimbledon last year. He seemed to know his stuff and to my untrained eye seemed to have put a lot of effort into his training.

He finished the 'show' with some statement about having been born Thai in a previous life.

This left me confused, was he a reasonble Thai boxer or a fabulously funny comedian?

Chickens love eating termites.

You tell us

about a month ago, he fell for someone at his office....

Then you tell us...

What started off as just a side-kick fun flirt...one thing led to another: going out together, dinner, holding hands, virgin her rejecting his first kiss attempt, going out more, courting-spell casting, reserved him rejecting her anticipated kiss attempt in public, secret phone calls, a movie, more secret/long phone calls, deception towards his mia to see her...

Advice No. 1 There are no secrets in a Thai office - Take it from me, every one knows.

You tell us ...

Despite her pure and natural beauty, was still a virgin though getting quite curious and anxious for the experience..well-bred from wealthy family and wanting to do rebellious acts, etc..

Advice No. 2. She's not taking the risks she is taking for no reason at all - She might be in love, but more likely she sees some personal gain in catching a Farang - I'd advise your friend to look into that assumption about personal background a bit more closely - Most foreigners are unable to read the real status of Thais

What are the justifications?

There are none

What are the possible worst/best outcomes?

Best - Your friend grows up and accepts his responsibilities to his wife and unborn child

Worst Your friends unborn child arrives on the scene to find his father has facked off with some other woman and left the child with the worst start in life.

Consequences to your friend, his bit on the side and your friend's wife, pale into insignificance against that.

I really do urge you to talk to ask the Italian Embassy if you wife is allowed to convert her visa to a family permit while IN ITALY.

My wife was LEGALLY in Signapore but could not apply for a visa to the UK in Singapore because of a rule that said she had to be in Singapre for 365 days at the time of the application.

Do this before you go to Italy and if possible get a written record of their response.

GH

Sorry I've not been joining this converstation these last days, I've been up noth house building.

I am surprised that Lordsux's wife has been given a 'tourist visa' and not a 'family permit', though I suspect the reason may be he does not yet have work in Italy - When my wife applied we were resident in the UK but my employment in Italy was confirmed.

The point at issue is 'the reason for going to Italy is to WORK' this automatically gives the spouse of an EU member the right to a family permit.

What you need to be careful of is ensuring your wife does not have to return to Thailand to convert the visa once you have secured your work. If she is going to have to return to Thailand then it may be worth delaying her journey until you find work and then getting her to apply for the full family permit.

I would be inclined to write to the Italian Embassy and get a written answer to why she can't have a family permit and what happens when you find work - is she going have to reaply back in Thailand.

It seems to me that someone at the Italian embassy doesn't know the rules.

----

To reitterate. My wife received a one year schengen visa and a family permit.

Both my wife's and my own permissio di sergiono and codice fiscale where issued in Italy when we arrived.

Steady-on it's not just the Thais, I regularly had to suffer anti English jokes, comments and this kind of directed laughter when I lived in Scotland.

The odd thing, I'm not English, although my accent is English.

There are stupid ingnorant people everywhere.

And I tend not to be bothered too much by what stupid ignorant people think of me.

I knew it was a scam when the vicar said 'With All Thy Worldly Goods"..

Why not contact one of the international women's organizations and offer to donate money to their charity fund if they can do some translations for you.

Thai women are made to feel left on the shelf by the age of 30, A lot of Thai girls by 30 have had kids and been deserted by their Thai husbands and other Thai men dont always want them.

My guess is there are more than a few members on TV who have done just that, dumped a family back home and headed out to Thailand.