xbusman

They show up from time to time. Over the past year I have seen at least two or three advertised in English. Just lay back and give it some time. Check these ads, baht and sold, and the other familiar places like Golden Triangle web board. If you have a thai friend that will look for you, spend some time on motocy.com (you may have to do a search).

Used prices... whatever the market will bear actually. Figure about twice kelley book value should about do it.

Speaking of Scottish style:

Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.

Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every

time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced

the quiet...

"Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!"

Thanks PB, I thought I was being a curmudgeon.

Thais are on motocy from the day they are born. They are standing on the seat by the time they are one. By the time they start to drive at 9 years old, they are very familiar with the chaos called traffic in Thailand.

To drive a motorcycle and survive here, you have to be very focused, very aware, very careful. No gathering wool or sightseeing unless you get out on the wide open road but even then, you have to be much more aware then the west. You might not remember learning to drive a bike but the clutch, throttle interplay took time. The three actions to apply brakes, clutch throttle brake, took time, particularly emergency braking. There is no room for learning on these streets, it will end up in learning the hard way.

This is a little like flying. Glad my instructors did not tell me take off, fly around a little bit where you dont see airplanes, and be careful when you land. When you put your hand on the throttle of anything here its deadly serious business. DONT tell a newbie to buy a bike and get used to it in such a deadly environment.

You guys are sick. Learning to drive a motorbike in Thailand is about a sure recipe for death. Think more than 1 second when you start posting advice to newbies about extremely dangerous actions.

I have imported big bikes into Thailand and its a certainty, DONT DO IT!

It would be cheaper for you to buy a new BMW in Thailand than what you might spend for the possibility of actually ever seeing your bike here.

Forgive me for sticking a big farang nose in but do yourself a favor and skip the motocy. This is an amazingly deadly place to drive a motorcycle and a new nervous driver is fighting terrible probabilities. Take it from me, from ugly experience, cars hurt. They hurt alot. Just dont do it.

No, that calculation is either using our cash or our bank. That is not a complete formula, thats a starting point. We look at what rentals bring per square foot or square meter, and if a property is listed at around 110% of that rental then its worth it to crunch the numbers. All sorts of other factors come into play, current interest rates, opportunity costs, taxes, and on and on. Have to look at all the costs. BUT, and the big but, if it does not start at about 100 month rental, we dont even start the spreadsheet.

Thats just a general rule of thumb and not meant to be an investment guide.

Backflip is right. It might go up, it might go down, no one knows. What we do know from hard earned experience of hordes of expats who have come and gone, come and stayed, come and jumped out of their condo window, is this:

NEVER EVER INVEST MORE IN THAILAND THAN YOU CAN WALK AWAY FROM

Our calculations on investment property anywhere in the world is pretty simple. Have to rent for 1/100 purchase price. That assumes reasonable property management fees and taxes. A 4.9M condo would have to rent pretty much continuously at 49,000 baht before we would even crunch the numbers. Considering how many properties are vacant, Thailand would be much closer to the 1/84 rule outlined above.

You can get new or almost new ones on the ground for 800,000 baht. New Sportsters are 500,000 baht for the 1200, less for the 883. Registration runs about another 100,000. Used registered softails can be imported for 600,000 baht in pristine condition.

Just keep looking and negotiate hard.

Thats true about fedex. They have to abide by the FBA and the Thai operation is majority owned by Thais. That should explain the trouble there.

You will always be, and always only be, a guest here in the LOS. The only hard and fast rule is never ever invest more than you can walk away from. If that 70K would hurt to lose, just dont do it.

As to the question if its wise to, or not to, thats always according to individual circumstance and available opportunities. However, to some degree, we all have to live with the "Never ever, never invest more than you can walk away from" dictum.

My family owns the second largest Honda dealership in the world and the largest Yamaha dealership in the world. I import Jap bikes but mostly Harley for sale in Thailand and China. All of them are great bikes, do different things for different people. Having been riding and selling motorcycles for 40 years, I can tell you the new ones are light years ahead of what they were just ten years ago, all models and all brands.

Having said all that, I drive a Honda Phantom and love it. In fact, I like it better than the hundreds of motorcycles I have owned and driven for the past forty years. (except my first love, the 1942 German Army Zundapp and my just plain favorite 1973 Trident). Both those bikes were junk in motion, would kill to have either back.

But I drive a Honda Phantom every day.

1. I live in Bangkok, it gets in and out of where I need to go.

2. Its light, stops on a dime, saved my life more than once. In Thailand it helps to be able to stop quickly and nothing over 400 lbs stops quickly ever.

3. I can get parts anywhere I want, cheaply, quickly and with no hassles. Dont forget, I import motorcycles and make parts, what does that tell you about how I feel when a bike sits for months waiting for something stupid. Dont think Powerstation carries anything either, everything is ordered and takes weeks, costs a fortune, and when did you last order anything in Thailand and get it right on the first try? The only thing worse than a bike that wont start is a garage queen waiting for parts.

4. The Phantom is reasonably comfortable, moves along at adequate speeds, and seldom if ever breaks down.

5. I dont worry about it getting stolen. When I am wandering around with a million baht Harley, I worry about it constantly. Losing one would leave a big hole in my financial plan. If the Honda disappears, 80K and I have a new one, it bugs me but I dont have to obsess about it.

A Harley is like an elite card, if you can smoke the money for a toy, its as good as any other toy, better in some ways depending on what you use it for. Even I can get lucky in Pattaya with a Harley and a 1000 baht. I would be very careful upgrading someone close to me from a Phantom to a Harley. Add 100 hp and 600 lbs you just might kill the one you love. These roads are deadly enough for pedestrians on the sidewalk, be careful what you wish for.

If your friend is happy on the Phantom, my advice is dont fix it.

He will find the name of the accuser soon enough, and with a court order to keep it confidential as it should be. This may not even be a rape case, to have the FBI involved portends other charges. The FBI does not investigate or prosecute rapes, thats not a federal offense.

Whatever the case, the accuser has the right to privacy, its bad enough on the stand with a hostile lawyer in front of a jury, no need to try her in the press even if it is a fraudulent claim. Unfortunately you have to protect the gold diggers in order to protect the truly damaged, its just the way it is.

It would shock me beyond reason if there was even the slightest viability to this claim. Having the FBI involved though is very very serious, they would not be involved in a simple rape case and would be extremely reluctant to conduct such a large raid against such a prominent figure unless the evidence was very strong.

He is one of the highest earning performers in the entertainment industry. His earnings dwarf about every celebrity except Oprah. With his unusual lifestyle, he is a prime target. The good news is that David is almost never alone, constantly surrounded by staff, entourage and security 24/7.

He is a gentle-man and very considerate. I for one hope the allegations prove unfounded.

Ebay is the only place to buy!

I keep thinking of what a great business this could have been.

Its not much more expense than a call center really.

So we plan on 5000 members at 1M each, that comes out to.... 5,000,000,000,000 baht. Christ almighty.

Take out a capitalization loan from the government at say 3% and put it in interest bearing accounts at say 7%. The trust fund will net out 4% on 5 billion. Thats about 200 million a year or a budget of about 16 million a month.

So we get five cars and drivers, one call center with about 30 employees, main office with staff about 20 all told. That comes out to a monthly expense of about 1 million baht. Then we pay golf fees, immigration bribes, spa fees, a few bar fines, with 5000 members I doubt you would ever have more than 1000 here at a time. So you could essentially spend around 150,000 baht per month average per visitor. Not even the Koreans can burn that many golf rounds or bar fines here (close but not for an extended amount of time).

So we pay down the trust fund over 20 years, improve services, and it would make an absolute killing. Talk about the ultimate billionaire boys club. Thaksin had this thing exactly right, its a shame about what it turned out to be. Give a great idea to government and watch the disaster in slow motion.

The rear shocks are junk, changing them completely changes the ride. OEM tires, brakes, and batteries are always junk, the quicker they wear out the better. I have a long time mechanic for Honda that now has his own race shop, recently during service he asked if I have any wobble in high speed corners which has always been bad on my bike. Smiling, he adjusted the front forks on the last service and the ride is now excellent, told me that honda sets them way too loose for ease of handling. I dont know if all that is true, I do know my bike handles better than when it was new.

Change your oil for the first time around 500KM, its just a good idea on a new engine in principle.

I take mine on 600 km trips, the only major downside to it is the numbness in the hands. I might go ahead and build a rubber suspension for the handle bars sometime.

Used to live in Town in Town, the small area off Ekkami after it passes Rama 9 on the way out of town.

I have no idea what the story is, but there seems to be a contingent of young models living out that way. I think there is some sort of French school on Meng Jai or something but in the early evenings its not uncommon to see twenty or thirty super models wandering around heading out somewhere, both young men and women. There is a lot of television production in that area, they could well be involved in the entertainment industry in Thailand.

Anyway, its a very unusual sight and a real traffic stopper when they are about. Lots of fun really.

On one of my first trips to Thailand, about 98 or thereabouts, I decided to see Bangkok from the klong boats that ply the Chao Phraya. I love those oversized long tailed boats, roaring down the klongs, a great way to see old old bangkok. Down to the docks, bought a bag or two of drinks, some moo ping, paid the farang price and settled in a center seat. One of those long tails that probably had about 15 rows which comfortably accommodate anyone under 3' 7". A beautiful day on the river, if I remember correctly sunny and beastly hot not unlike the weather for the past millennium here.

When the boat was fully loaded, our captain fired up the V8 on a stick and pushed us out into river. It was glorious. The rice barges, the ferries, the big hotels sliding by. Moo ping was tasty, I was in Thailand, life was goooood.

About ten minutes out, not understanding a word of thai at the time and in my tourist stupor, even I began to notice that something was wrong. A passenger in the bow was shouting to the captain and up on the seat looking forward. People were chattering and its hard to explain to those that dont know thailand, but despite sitting next to an unmuffled 480 horsepower V8 engine, the level of noise rose a notch or two.

Sitting in the middle of one of those boats must be somewhat akin to being fitted for a casket. Low in the center with raised bow and stern, visibility fore and aft is nothing but black hair and smiles. The first clue I had that a situation was developing is when the captain cut the engine and stood up. The sudden reduction of the usual 300 decibal engine music had the effect of enhancing the apparent urgency of the conversation now taking place on the boat between passengers and our captain who looked all of 16 years old. Only Thailand hands can appreciate how disturbing the quiet can be.

I could see the captains face when he stood up, and the look worried me. He immediate gave orders to the passengers in rather a "before the mast" commanding tone. I had no idea what he said but I bet he gave orders not to look and where to sit. I do know that having all your passengers on a boat rush to one side to have a peek can seriously destabilize a proper ferry, for our flat bottom klong rocket with 3 inch gunnel's it could have been a disaster. Unfortunately, thats all in hindsight, what I proceeded to do was try and get up for peek to see if we were facing a sea monster, whirlpool or som tam sale.

Raising up and looking over the bow, I could not make out the source of the commotion. Looking back at the captain I could that worried expression and tried to follow his concerned stare but could only see a rice barge in the general area he was looking. Half up, and gawking, I heard that V8 roar into life again, but this time not at the sedate 300 decibel rate I was expecting, instead we were preparing for take off. I remember thinking that as the incredible lurch of the boat in response to full throttle tipped me over the back of the seat into the lap of a lovely lady behind me.

With my feet straight up in the air, I settled down into the seat behind mine in the lap of a lovely overweight lady who lives somewhere along klong noi on the south side of the river. As I lay there, enveloped in the sound of a jet engine being asked to pull out of a dive, I noticed that I had either relieved myself in the excitement or shared my bag of drink with my new friend. The straw in her hair relieved my anxiety.

If you did not know, they only run those long tails about 30% throttle. This boat took off like a tuk tuk after a Norwegian. It simply flew. From my new perch, I had a wonderful view of the captain working that engine like a tuba player in a marching band. At full throttle, the bow came up and he had almost no forward visibility, leaning out over the edge, he manipulated that 1000 pound engine at full throttle with amazing skill skill and precision. I struggled to get upright but the g force was simply too much and honestly, that lap was greatly appreciated after those hard seats. Just as I gave up and began checking for the moo ping to offer to my new traveling companion, about ten hands came from nowhere and stuffed me back into my row. I have no idea how that was accomplished but it did feel good being upright again.

Let me tell you, those big long tails can flat out get it. That boat shot across the river at full speed, captain standing on the stern, our bowman shouting back directions. I settled back in and looked forward to see if I could find the source of the excitement, sure that it had to be food related in Thailand, and saw that between us and the rice barge there were two arms sticking straight up out of the water. I could now make out the crew on the rice barge, shouting and throwing a life ring buoy but it was obvious that the person in the water was too far for them to reach. The arms never moved, they stood rigidly in the air with clenched fists as if in defiance of the fate that cast them adrift.

Our captain, with one hand and at full speed, brought our boat around to a direct line of the drowning man. It was a miraculous show of seamanship that was almost hard to believe. He lined up on those arms, keeping the engine screaming, he brought us exactly on a course that would slide along side the swimmer. The deck hand carefully arranged some fatties starboard and a few men leaned over the port side preparing to snatch. As the single non entity in the boat, and occupying a strategic center seat (close to the water) I joined the port side gang to see if I could help.

About 60 yards from the arms, the captain closed the throttle. Still traveling at what felt like water ski velocity, the silence was immediately deafening and ominous. The rowing team prepared to catch and we were exactly on target when about 30 yards before we reached those arms, they slipped completely under the water. I remember the lead catcher looking back at us with a saddened grimace, we were about five seconds too late. He plunged his hands into the water though in the slight hope of finding something under the surface, we were that close. As the boat slid quickly up to the spot where we last sighted the arms, all of us plunged our arms into the water in a remote hope and as I grasped at the dirty water I touched something hard. I grabbed and clutched in vain as the momentum of the boat quickly tore whatever was in my hands away.

I fixed my stare at the spot in the water and watched it slide behind the boat as my mind worked in slow motion. The only thing I remember clearly of that thought process was pulling up my Eagle scout lifesaving merit badge of some forty years ago, my mile swim awards of forty years ago, and the single thought of now or never. Over the edge I went, fully clothed and probably a bag of moo ping in my pocket. By the time I hit the water, the boat was a good twenty yards past the spot and still moving fast.

I did my best Australian crawl in an adrenaline frenzy keeping focused on the spot where I thought the arms went down. Once there, I threw my legs out, searching for contact with anything below the surface. Nothing. Nothing. So a deep breath and down. I went down under the surface and threw out arms and legs, hoping to find a needle in a haystack. I must have been under a good 24 inches but felt like I was doing a deep sea dive. Up for air, and thinking its too late, too long, and the chances are so small. On the other hand, the boat is gone and I have nothing better to do right now, so lets try deeper. Down I went. I swam down until I felt the temperature change, while I like to think it was ten feet deep, probably was about four (at most). When I felt the change I threw out arms and legs and tried to feel around. In case you are interested, I determined that day that visibility in the Chao Phraya is about 7 millimeters on a clear day. Opening your eyes in that filth is an experiment in disease opportunity while exploring shades of brown.

So, doing my typical tourist thrashing in the middle of the worlds filthiest river on a warm sunny day in Bangkok, I grabbed a shirt. The second I touched that fabric my hand closed like a vice that I never knew I had. I gripped that shirt with an iron fist completely unlike the soft chubby fingers that type this heroic tale. The adrenaline closed on that man and we headed up. Breaking the surface, I pulled him up and for the first time had a look at the owner of those stiff arms. He was limp in my hand, quite elderly with wispy white hair and his face was lax. My first thought was "too late" when a huge amount of foul nam Phraya poured out of his nose and mouth. Still limp in my hand, I held his head above the water and began treading frantically to keep us both afloat.

As the andrenaline began to recede, and I looked around, it quickly occured to me that I was in the middle of the river holding up a dead weight and tired beyond comprehension. It was not a good position and in the next few seconds I might be successful in turning a single tragedy into a double tragedy. Wondering if my wallet was still in some pocket so that they might identify my remains after a week or so in the river and mention it to the embassy, I began searching for my long tail. I finally spotted it, some seven miles away (about 100 yards), still in the process of beginning the turn. While they might be able to really get up and go in a straight line, they obviously are not designed for serious cornering. When I saw that the boat had not even made the corner, I took quick inventory of my energy level and decided that I was going to die. After all, I had just swam about 20 yards, dove down twice, pulled a man up about 2 feet, tread water for almost 10 seconds before I came to the immediate understanding that I was no longer 14 years old and years of typing might have improved my grip but not my stamina. I will admit though, it never occurred to me to evict my passenger. I would like to say that it was because of some altruistic or heroic decision but the reality of it is that throughout the entire process I dont think I made one conscious decision.

So I held him and paddled madly for as best I can tell four or five days (maybe four or five minutes). With my nose just barely above the sewer level, I did not see the long tail come back but instead saw the ring buoy drop within inches of me. I grabbed that ring and literally stuffed that old man into the center and in one flat second he was gone, whipped into that boat like a tuna on a winch. Somehow, and to this day I dont know how, I managed to swim the 10 feet to the boat and grab the side.

I will never forget that experience of grabbing the boat. I have never been so done in my life, I would have gladly ridden back to shore hanging right there. It was all I could do to keep my head above water and the only thought I remember was "you aint fourteen any more, idiot....". As I hung there, the captain reached down and grabbed my collar. He lifted me one handed like a raggedy Andy and dropped me in the seat under the engine. The next thought was, never ever never ever get into a fight with a Thai. Never had a kid pick up a fat old man with one extended arm and crane drop them in a forward seat.

So I laid back on the floor and noticed how incredibly beautiful the sky was, was a rich hue of blue. I noticed my glasses were gone, I was pretty sure my shoes were gone, and I bet my moo ping was history too. I hoped my wallet was still there but had no way of telling. It was all the way in my pocket and that would involve moving my arms, completely out of the question. So I laid there and watched the captain manhandle that V8 back to the rice barge. They handed over the old man up at the bow, he was limp but not dead. We cast off and continued on the route.

After about thirty minutes, I found myself able to sit up and take inventory. Shoes and glasses gone, wallet intact, hotel key intact, cigarettes unsmokable (the biggest tragedy at the moment), passport rather nasty but still in pocket, breath mints unsalvageable, moo ping gone, still alive and hopefully a bit smarter.

I was able to exit the boat at some stop, it was a while before I had the strength to stand. Shoeless, reeking, five cabs refused me before I found one jai dee enough to get me back to my hotel. Yes, I gave him a huge tip and I hope it covered the cab cleaning.

I was sick for a week, eye infection for a few days. Always wondered what happened to the old man, hope he got a chance to play with a few more grandkids. Would I do it again? Hard to know, I hope today I am smarter than yesterday but in the end, not much thought process to the whole event. You either do, or dont do, but you seldom get the luxury of thinking about it.

So thats my story, I hope it reads better than "stupid fat tourist jumps off boat, swims five feet for an incredibly remote chance to find someone under the water and almost drowns in the process". After all, I have had ten years to work on the story.

Okay, obviously the search button is not working.

Just as a rule of thumb. Figure around 300% tax on the current new retail value of a similar model. If they no longer make that model, you can use $40,000 for a nice round figure. That makes the tax around $120,000. Got a spare 1.2 to gamble with and a year or two of time to waste after you fork it over in the low probability that you will ever see that vehicle legally registered in your name in Thailand?

I didnt think so. Just say no.

PS, did you note the Ferrari that was crushed at Customs today?

There is enough trouble in Thailand doing terrifically complex tasks like getting a landline hooked up or internet to work faster than 3K, dont take on this most onerous of all tasks here unless you have so much money and time to burn that nothing else can occupy you.

Just say no.

If you think some obscure forum is having an effect on the direction and implementation of visa policies in a sovereign nation it is time to remove the tin foil hat and reassess your position on the planet. Often times, a president or prime minister is unable to redirect a governmental bureaucracy even in positive manners. To think that a bunch of computer literate geeks that make up less than 1% of the farang population could cause change simply beggars belief.

The reason that this forum has exploded with discussion about conflicting and obscure regulations is because there has been an explosion of conflicting and obscure regulations. If I were to guess, it is because the leaders of the country fell out of power about two years ago and the country lost overall direction. When that happens, the fiefdom chiefs all interject their personal inanity into applying the regulations and chaos ensues.

We are seeing chaos everywhere in the government, from the airport administration to visa rules to the commerce ministry. For almost two years it has been chaos theory in action, and you want us to believe that some computer literate fluent english forum geek at the top of Thai Immigrations wants to put the screws to all farangs in Thailand because of some idiotic ranting by the permanently strange posters here on Thaivisa? Bit of a stretch what?

Thats a little harsh.

When the new airport was designed, it was more than big enough to handle all of Thailands needs for the future. Unfortunately, the time scale is different in Thailand and by the time they opened it, the future had sped past.

While I agree, it would have been much better to build six runways, three terminals and four new rail links, sometimes we forget we live in a third world country with very limited resources. So spending on infrastructure takes away from education, health and welfare, items that are sorely needed and underfunded during the best of times. Add to that the corruption charge and any capital improvement like the new airport becomes insanely expensive.

It was a miracle they got SUV built, got it opened and have had no major problems. You have to give the people on the ground a lot of credit for all that, it was a major major undertaking. Now with BKK operating regularly, the quick and easy solution is to just reopen Don Meung and have two major airports like most other hub cities in the world. Instant and reliable double capacity with a minimum of fuss.

Given the resources, the abysmal management, the rife corruption, and the pressure of air traffic in general, I think they did an admirable job and will be prepared for the next 30 years to safely and conveniently handle passenger traffic in Thailand. Could it have been better, sure. Thats particularly easy to see from my comfy office after the fact.

It will be nice to see old Don Meung open again and in full swing. Hopefully they will tie the airports together soon with some sort of rail system to bypass that dreadful traffic.

I think it was 1979. Final year of college, way too many university parking tickets. Got on something called USENET I think and using rotary dial phone tapped into our university computer and removed the graduation block due to parking tickets. Was a major ordeal involving a lot of hours. No security of any sort if I remember correctly. Memory might be rusty on all this but I distinctly remember the modem, a large box that took a rotary phone handset laid onto the top.