Shiver

I see plenty of advantages for a woman to be married given the state of the law in some countries, but I've yet to find even one reason that is advantageous to the man (given the old model of men provide and women hold the fort together).

One party here is providing for the other more than the reverse presumably, depending how you convert that to a conventional currency.  So we can talk about how it 'should' be, but how it pans out could be quite different.

If it were me I would (I do) live in rented accommodation so that there is no house matter (my UK assets are in family relations name not mine, so they're off the table straight away).

If you can afford it I would give her a financial gift that is too tempting to ignore, so she can look after herself without you, and see if she's in it for the money or for the 'thick & thin' of the relationship.  You might not like the answer or you might be ecstatic, but either way you will have closure. 

To me, marriage is either a religious thing or a tax thing (or both).  Does this fit the bill for what you're hoping for?

Pre-nups are known to have a very high relationship failure rate.  Perhaps because it implies that you're only 'one foot in'.

On 12/11/2016 at 9:41 AM, 4MyEgo said:

 

1) It works both ways, you are also adding value (BIG TIME) to her life, never forget that

 

2) When the going gets tough, remember who is boss, never allow a female to tell you otherwise, you are BOSS !

 

3) Loads of fish in the sea, and she must always know that when she raises her head to strike 555

I think I must have jinxed myself in writing that.  A few days ago I would have described a fairy tale.  Today she's having a strop.  She 'says' it's because I drink beer too much.  That I interpret as 'too often', not too much, as I'm a lightweight compared to many.

I did some introspection and thought...well I did have one more that night (1, not 2 or 3), and I did speak a little loud to a particular farang that was w'nkered and I told him I didn't want to interact with him for 24 hours after which I would have had time to let his obnoxious behaviour blow over, but that was all.  I wondered if the issues were about rag week, but then it occurred to me it was each time someone else did something (there was another one swearing about Thais and Buddhism and I asked him to back off with his rant, and posed a couple of counter claims to give him a way out), then it dawned on me that she was losing face each time (as she perceived things), and her saying too much beer really means she doesn't like the company I was keeping and was bored sitting with a bunch of old farangs drinking and mouthing off.  It's not the best pass time of course, but it's the only social interaction I get so when I'm there I drink beer.  If I stayed home I wouldn't drink anything, but I still wouldn't have any quality time since conversations usually involve interrupting a game on her phone or making it last more than 3 minutes and giving her a headache making her think a little.

She's with the rellos at the moment as Grandpa is in hospital and she thinks she has to take care of me when I'm quite capable of doing everything myself, but I guess she has that issue of needing to be needed and everything would collapse if she's not there (which is true of the village responsibilities, but not here).

Anyhow, thanks for the reminder.  That would have been standard fare for me 15 years ago when I had to actually work for the attention of the fairer kind.  Game being somewhat different here I've got lax and need to check the ropes before it goes adrift.

Direct talk doesn't work so well with Thais unless it's full on confrontation, so I'll have to dream up a couple of hints to get her to put herself back in line rather than me kicking her heals back over the line.

Thank you once again for the no nonsense approach.  You don't get much of that to the baht these days.

I know someone is going to say it and everyone else will groan, so thought I'd get it out of the way:

Meet a girl who in looks was way above my station in life, and has a personal work/respect/behavioural ethic that is enviable in any part of the world.

I made a couple of false starts in meeting someone I have to admit, and also had my spell of  'pay per play' as a newbie where I wasn't looking for a relationship.  I look back at my own country and other countries like it in the west and have to wonder what it is that people think when they learn to accept their partners.  I was quite prepared to spend my life alone and don't mind my own company, so at least I wasn't leaking desperation, and honestly quite surprised that anyone could add such value to my life (not without its fair share of pain at times I must add, when the going got tough).

I have the relatively rare distinction as a 'farang' of being #2 in the family (after Grandpa), and for once, not below the soi dog.  Not the majority can say that hand on heart.

Other things: After getting over the shock of seeing a cow in a gas station on day one and freaking out while all others around me thought it was normal (it's normal to me too now), or disbelieving how many people could fit on a Honda Wave......I am just a short hop from the mountains or from the sea by aircraft, rent that would be 1 night in a city hotel back home, and ....something I would never have talked about back home...the price of a can of baked beans!?! What the...  89 baht vs 4x for GBP 1 (and many other examples).  I wonder why some enterprising husband/wife team here with facilities don't make some farang food in Thailand and make a killing.  I guess cheese and wine are out, but tinned stuff, or a brown sauce alternative are well within the range of doable.

[dribbling morning verbal mutterings endeth here...yes it was a big night out Friday].

Haven't done the 'zig zag' down the street in many (most of my) years, though I did do it sometimes in the past.

Never noticed anyone looking threatened though (I'm a happy drunk).

Now I have different cues - eg, missus doesn't want to converse with me, or feet start to swell up.  None of that happens now, I've found my happy medium of a few beers and never being stupid. I also take supplements in powder form to support the liver and always feel good despite my stupidity.

We can't party all the time if we're 'pseudo retired' and need personal discipline. Many days off or very low dose if daily seems to work.

• Need to make 5000 baht.  only of 50% customers now selling same as the next place, so double price to make up for it and have no customers as a result.
• Exchange rate is a given.
• Drink driving people won't risk it, so go to local mom & pop stores instead
• Cook at home where you can control the result and have more idea of what is in it for less (better quality and lower price).
• Bored of unthinking cat calls about short time and would rather take a road less travelled to avoid.

Many more reasons if needed, but those alone would cripple an expensive rent, expensive location, expensive product that often cuts back on quality to maintain a price.

Conversely, if you see a good Thai restaurant full of Thais with excellent service and moderate prices and always full, they're still making a killing by volume rather than price.

Surely if they add more holidays there will have to be a point where they nullify some older ones? 365 days closed is not really key to growth and prosperity and 'good luck'.

Banks/Gov't days are clean cut.  I suspect bars will be mostly closed, though restaurants may open in a very low key kind of way.  Mom & Pop stores will likely be same as they always are.

I think a large cardboard box would be more educational and fun (like the kind you get whitegoods and other appliances delivered in.

Although my whole working career has been around electronic/computer devices, if I had a kid I wouldn't be introducing them to apps like that.  Something more old school and tactile, or that assists in interaction with others would be far more helpful.

I'm not a parent, but honestly I feel you'd be doing the kid a disservice if all he/she  knows in the world is a button pressing machine, and you'd be creating a misfit out of a perfectly amazing bag of potential.

.

I thought it was the wealthiest pays.

I know my preferred local will be closed on 5th.  I don't know if that is because it is mandatory or self regulation.

By then I'll have had a couple of birthday parties under my belt, so for once the timing for a dry spell will be just right in my case (usually if friends fly in it always feels like it is on national dry days which they seem to have a knack for).

I know it's asking too much expect a result just by telling them, but how about license and  helmet fines as well, and if they're a minor then give the parents a give that will soon get them interested in their kids well being.

I know the police have a bad rep here, but at the same time how can the street cops possibly enforce the law unless their bosses get with the programme and do their public duty. Send their teams out with instructions for 200 for helmet, 200 for licence, 1000 for <15years old might not be a bad place to start and see how it goes.  They can take the bike for collateral to ensure compliance.

This might sound like overkill, but If possible, choose an ethical bank that isn't going to make itself a target of hackers that attack often for political & moral  reasons rather than personal gain.  I know 'ethical' and 'bank' don't really belong in the same sentence, but you do get the odd citizen group-win such as banks pulling out of unpopular issues (North Dakota is the most recent I've heard of).

If doing online banking then 2 Factor Authentication is a no brainer that significantly improves security (though nothing about banks is infallible).

When sending money "measure twice, cut once" - it's all too easy to get lax and press the button, only to have that sinking feeling you know you screwed up one nanosecond after the button is pressed.

As mentioned by others, ATM is probably the weakest laughably insecure thing about the system (apart from many banks having very small cash reserves, which is not exactly anti-fragile behaviour).  In my own case I lost 60K with Kasikorn which I presume was skimming the card.  I used an ATM that was outside of the nearest shop to my home rather than one installed at the bank.  The withdrawal patterns looked like those of a chancer and I knew without any further information that it wasn't me (I don't give out PIN numbers, and I was living alone at the time anyhow).  Kasikorn were very dismissive and said it must have been me.  I don't go to an ATM and draw out 1K, then 2K, 5K, 10K etc.  I just get 20K and go to the ATM less frequently, same as I fill up the scooter rather than putting 20 baht in for each journey.  I suggested that it must be on video(?).  I'm not sure if it was or not, but their response was that I would have to file a report with Police and they would cooperate with Police...but...if *they* find that it was you then they will charge you for their costs which might outweigh the amount.  I was incensed, though I just emptied the account and moved to BKK with chip & pin (still not secure, but hopefully a little better).

19 minutes ago, farcanell said:

 

You not make a much sense....

 

 

It's simple, but easily mixed up:

If a school is good, then it is a place of some kind of formal education.

Education doesn't require a school.

I'll lean on Mark Twain for his input, which is often thought of as a joke, but has a real point: "Don't let school get in the way of a good education".

So the idea of a school as a place of learning is one thing, but in practice they're more like business models that sell certificates.

If you are able to get access to homework of someone a generation or two before, then it is abundantly clear that the much touted suggestion of the standards going down are absolutely real.

That aside, even good schools (by whatever measuring stick) tend to be indoctrination centres.  I'm the only person in my family who does not have any certification, yet from a couple of years after leaving school I became the leading income producer and it stayed that way (one sister has 2 degrees, the other is at Doctor level and pursuing Professor).  There's no better teacher than feeling the pain of repeated failures.  That was done with just average Maths/English/Physics and I failed miserably in their system, getting 'ungraded' and a couple of D's and E's in other subjects.  Perhaps if they had a 'no fail' policy then I wouldn't have felt the need to put effort into what I was interested in rather their idea of that.  Did I fail or did the school fail to recognise that their teaching methods work well for some and are abysmal for others?

So, to decide if a school is the right tool for the job I would only ask "does it teach you to learn how to learn?".

 

2 hours ago, seancbk said:

Crikey!  Was there no way your boss could remove it himself?   

Funny thing you see in Hong Kong are people putting M badges on regular BMWs to make people think the car is better.
 

Nothing a hot air gun couldn't have dealt with.  Lol, would probably invalidate the warranty or something.  He paid it though - likely because he didn't like a little squirt like me making a comment about his pride and joy.

A few months later he left the motorway up an exit ramp at speeds well in excess of the national speed limit, only to discover that the steering and brakes don't work when airborne.  His dad wouldn't buy him another after that, so was reduced to a Golf GTI.

2 hours ago, BlindMagician said:

 

"stop referring to Schooling as Education." - why?

 

Don't you like the word "education" ?

Sure, but I don't go to school to learn what I'm looking for - Prussian 'educational' model and all that.

[haven't read the whole thread, so apologies if I'm repeating what went before me]

Food, drink and manners is all I would take.  They'll eye you up as a token gesture then almost certainly instantly approve of you.

If the kid is yours then I would expect they'll be wanting to hear about wedding plans and how you are going to take care of her.  Make sure you know your stance on that one so that you don't get coerced without knowing what is going on.  If you and your girl have already discussed that then she will have paved the way before you even get there, and the meeting will just be a formality.

It was a transparent sticky back sticker, not a proper decal.  I know it's hard to believe, I still can't get my head around it, and that was when GBP 500 could still buy something.  My car at the time cost me GBP 400.  It was a wreck on wheels, but I loved my first one like no other, and looked at it, then the sticker over and over.  I swear it was just a sticker and wasn't in keeping with the rest of the car.

6 hours ago, Sphere said:

 

Are they now clubbing countries together just to make up fancy acronyms?

I nearly fell off my chair laughing at that first paragraph after the heading.  TLA's (Three Letter Acronyms) as so last year.  New tactics for tictacs.

Also I wish they'd stop referring to Schooling as Education.

5 hours ago, Oziex1 said:

A Ferrari is definitely not like any other car, as for the smug owners and the quality tourist label they undoubtedly hold well that's another story.

 

And why the hideous graphics and paint jobs, sacrilege 

Not about Ferraris but...
Back in the 80's my boss turned up with a 944S.  There was a sticker on the back that I thought made them look cheap.  He agreed and went back to the shop.  They said that to *not* have the sticker was a GBP 500 upgrade, Lol.

Then I look at this picture above of considerably more expensive cars and I think all that is missing is the nodding dog and furry dice (and perhaps a few lucky amulets velcroed onto the dash board).

16 hours ago, lungnorm said:

Don't waste too much time and energy on learning Thai as you will be so disappointed on what you hear the Thai women talk about. They can sit around all day yacking and its actually nothing interesting to put it mildly. And to make it worse they repeat the stuff every 30 mins or so. Just learn enough Thai to be independent when you catch a taxi and can give directions etc or when shopping, that's really all you need.

Unless they're talking directly to me, I just zone out.  I have tried on occasion to follow along in the conversation, but typically it goes something like this:

"Did you eat yet?  Did you shower yet? Are you working today?" Then rinse and repeat.

16 hours ago, kannot said:

U mean Thais?

Not just Thais.  Some of the farang men are equally as bad.  They talk one thing to your face, while they're brown nosing the wives and gf's of the group.

As an example, if someone dies and it's not clear cut why, then it automatically snaps into being either HIV or Lao Khao.  If asked to substantiate that then they don't know where it arose, or who told them, or even continue the subject.

People who gossip using their imagination to fill in the blanks rather than fact checking before speaking.

I can't think of anything that has changed in her thinking.  She accommodates my weird requests (like having some meat in a meat based meal rather than the bone, nostrils and toenails), finds it's funny that dried squid is such a repellant to male farang, doesn't complain when I want to spend time with my friends (though she cannot fathom why I don't want to go village for even 10 minutes).  Did I change anything in her?  I'm coming up empty handed.

One thing that has been playing on my mind this week is that on the forum we see questions about "should I learn Thai?", and answers generally go along the lines of "why should I?" to "I did, but wish I didn't as I learned that ignorance is bliss".  I mentioned to my GF when someone complimented her on how good her English is despite never putting her mind to it in University "Do you remember when we met we agreed that I'd help you learn English if you help me learn Thai?  I've kept my side of the deal, but you never encourage me to speak Thai".  Many people would see this as a control/manipulation issue.  She said "Yes, but I don't teach you because I don't want you to hear all the things people say about you and all farang".  So I guess on some level she is now more aware of non Thai behaviour and in some cases supportive of it, but I have no chance of getting the village out of her, or her belief in 'luck' and other large influences in this country.

Never could stomach those Leptin sandwiches.

I'd like to see the 'basket of currencies' weighting that the Baht is pegged to.  I have thought for many years that it must be 80-90% USD.

I don't think the USD is getting stronger, but all the peripheral currencies are taking the dive first and they revolve around the USD as the global currency, so may be the last one to go down the plug hole unless there are some break away actions from other countries.

I think I know roughly the area you mean.  I think it's a reasonable price, you might get a little more, but I would let it go for the price you have already assessed and can then be more fussy about vetting your potential tenants.

The area is between a rock and a hard place for people who might want social life in the city.  On the one hand it's not far if you get to know a decent tuk tuk driver, but if you're going out for a drink then your own transport is not really an option any more.  The police have smartened up and become more random in their locations and times for testing.  It can be quiet in town, and several people say it's because they can't risk driving in for a drink (this has nothing to do with safety, just whether they think they can get away with it or not).  If you (the tentant) have some local friends then a nearby mom&pop shop is proving quite popular these days.

If you land a tenant that doesn't drink, or that is gregarious enough to set up his little patch of home on the planet, then location may be of no concern to him, especially since it's not far from Big C/Hospital etc.