Tg Wants A Car, But Cannot Afford One!

[mr_hippo]

I am her COMPANION, that is why I have a right to say what I think. Because I will be the person to help her if/when she is is trouble, and I know that a car will cause her trouble, and I know where that leads to. I feel I have a very strong say in the matter, would'nt you?

I thought that you two were boyfriend and girlfriend, not companions. We do not doubt that you have the right to say what you think. What you don't have is the right to forbid her. Let's put the boot on the other foot - what would your reaction be if your girlfriend said to you "Zeak, you are not going out tonight for a few beers with the lads, I forbid you." What would your true reaction be?

[ZEAK]

I am her COMPANION, that is why I have a right to say what I think. Because I will be the person to help her if/when she is is trouble, and I know that a car will cause her trouble, and I know where that leads to. I feel I have a very strong say in the matter, would'nt you?

I thought that you two were boyfriend and girlfriend, not companions. We do not doubt that you have the right to say what you think. What you don't have is the right to forbid her. Let's put the boot on the other foot - what would your reaction be if your girlfriend said to you "Zeak, you are not going out tonight for a few beers with the lads, I forbid you." What would your true reaction be?

She is my Companion, we are not married yet, but we are companions. This is not a weekend fling, we have been together for a long time and care a great deal for each other. I do have the right to forbid her as it is a burden on me as well, when she can not afford payments, or down payment, or has an accident it all comes back to me. Why is this diffucult to understand, we are together and her problems are my problems. We share the good and the bad.

And that boot is soggy and does not fit. You can not compare a car purchase to me going out with the boys. Not the same level. Now if I for bid her to go out with her friends (which I dont do) then your comment would have merit. As for right now, its just a smelly boot in the closet that does not apply to this situation.

[bkkbound04]

zeak, i understand that you are concerned for her financial well being, but don't u believe in freedom of choice and allowing people to make and learn from their own mistakes?

i wouldn't regard this a smart arse comment, just an opinion r.e gettin defensive

others have interpretted your post as a tad controlling, they posted words to this effect, you then reply that it's none of anyones buisness..it's your intimate relationship...you also mentioned something like u'll spend as long as is needed untill she understands i.e admits defeat and follows your train of thought..

i was only replying to what i had read, perception is a funny thing, kinda like beauty

lucifer, your last paragraph is kinda relevant to this thread

op, that wasn't a smart arse comment either, just an observation from the thread i.e she works, earns her own money, wants something but her partner/boss controls whether she is allowed to make the purchase

[ZEAK]

How much is she spending on taxis?

could own and run a brand new car for less than 350 baht a day.

About 4K baht a month. Your 350 would be 10500/month. Thats her entire months wages from her previous job, and a third of her wages now. Does not leave much room for all the other monthly expenses. And those are your numbers, not sure whats compiled in them. I think if I get her to do the costs herself she will see where it is heading. But for now I am going to look into getting a driver. I would rather pay 10 a month for a diver that have a car. No hassels with a driver, no headaches.

[bkkbound04]

btw is there a big age gap between the 2 of u?

i've usually dated women that are in my age bracket...that is why forbiding someone is so foreign to me..

i could imagine forbiding a child...but not an adult

[Lucifer]

Another way to help prevent rape by taxi drivers is to txt your partner the taxi drivers car, or registration number. Do this in clear view of the driver.

Alas, she wants a car. For all the reasons stated before.

Zeak, if you love her, set her free.

Edited to add:

Try forbiding a woman in farangland, and see what happens. But then Perhaps thats the reason you're here. Nuff said.

Edited February 19, 2007 by Lucifer

[ZEAK]

zeak, i understand that you are concerned for her financial well being, but don't u believe in freedom of choice and allowing people to make and learn from their own mistakes?

i wouldn't regard this a smart arse comment, just an opinion r.e gettin defensive

others have interpretted your post as a tad controlling, they posted words to this effect, you then reply that it's none of anyones buisness..it's your intimate relationship...you also mentioned something like u'll spend as long as is needed untill she understands i.e admits defeat and follows your train of thought..

i was only replying to what i had read, perception is a funny thing, kinda like beauty

lucifer, your last paragraph is kinda relevant to this thread

op, that wasn't a smart arse comment either, just an observation from the thread i.e she works, earns her own money, wants something but her partner/boss controls whether she is allowed to make the purchase

I know what you are saying, and I have let her make her own way with her life. She choose her own life and I have guided her only when asked. She has made mistakes, and learned from them. But I will not sit by when I know she can not afford this. I will not let her make this mistake because it involves both of us. I am not trying to control you when I say I wish you could see that this involves me too.

I am sorry that you do not understand that this is not about who wins or who looses. It is about her understanding that a car is a huge thing to take on when one has no savings, no residence, and a small salary. Why is this so difficult to percieve? Really?

Devil boy can say what he likes, but only if he guarantee's it.

That was a smart ass comment!

And most couples, I said couples not "partner/boss" (smart ass) do tend to work together on major issues such as house, cars, vacations. Or does your misses wear the pants and make all the decisions? And this is a little bigger than where we are going to eat tonight if you know what I mean.

later dude

[ZEAK]

btw is there a big age gap between the 2 of u?

i've usually dated women that are in my age bracket...that is why forbiding someone is so foreign to me..

i could imagine forbiding a child...but not an adult

Yeah, a massive gapping void between us. Both in our 20's with a 3 year difference. So what were you implying again?

[ZEAK]

Another way to help prevent rape by taxi drivers is to txt your partner the taxi drivers car, or registration number. Do this in clear view of the driver.

WOW devil boy, thats a really good idea! Thanks! I will get her to do that untill I can get a driver.

[mr_hippo]

Now as you can't or won't answer the 'going for a beer' question, some forum members will draw their own conclusion - that you are a control freak. You say buying a car involves the two of you whereas going out without her does not?

Edited February 19, 2007 by mr_hippo

[bkkbound04]

i understand zeak, purchasing a car is a big decision and it's good that you are thinking ahead...

a relationship imho is all about give and take, you need this for both your happiness

your partner isn't exactly on the bottom of the ladder in earnings in thailand, if she's on 30 k she earns well

i'm guessing u have owned cars before, some people love them some loathe them, i'm guessing they are not your cup of tea...

has your partner ever owned a car? i'm guessing she hasn't if she can't drive..

you are refusing to allow her to experience something that is within her reach, because u don't agree with it

i wouldn't be happy if i had never learned to drive/purchase a car all because my partner forbid it..

imho you'd have more say if u were picking up the bill from the get-go, but it seems her intentions are to finance/purchase the car herself

when u say u are happier with the idea of a driver @ 10k per month...are u going to pay for that? from your own money? or do u expect your wife to contribute?

can u imagine wanting to purchase a car @ 10k month only to be told u can't afford it...but u can afford a daily limo service at 10k per month...same price but u don't get to keep the car...

warranties cover costs of repairs, a new car would cost the same or less as paying a driver 10k month on the never never for a motor u will never own, get a satang back on

[ZEAK]

Now as you can't or won't answer the 'going for a beer' question, some forum members will draw their own conclusion - that you are a control freak. You say buying a car involves the two of you whereas going out without her does not?

<deleted>??

No need to call me names. If you can not understand that the question you gave does not have the same weighting as a major purchase does, well then I'm sorry for you. Two very different situations with different degrees.

"I will try to be nicer if you try to be smarter"

[Lucifer]

I know what you are saying, and I have let her make her own way with her life. She choose her own life and I have guided her only when asked. She has made mistakes, and learned from them. But I will not sit by when I know she can not afford this. I will not let her make this mistake because it involves both of us. I am not trying to control you when I say I wish you could see that this involves me too.

I am sorry that you do not understand that this is not about who wins or who looses. It is about her understanding that a car is a huge thing to take on when one has no savings, no residence, and a small salary. Why is this so difficult to percieve? Really?

Devil boy can say what he likes, but only if he guarantee's it.

That was a smart ass comment!

And most couples, I said couples not "partner/boss" (smart ass) do tend to work together on major issues such as house, cars, vacations. Or does your misses wear the pants and make all the decisions? And this is a little bigger than where we are going to eat tonight if you know what I mean.

later dude

On the one hand he says 'work together on major issues', but then says 'I will not let her'. Controlling.

And to top it all, and if it was said earlier, I would have ignored this thread...Later dude. OMG.

[Briggsy]

I would rather pay 10 a month for a diver that have a car.

What kind of diver did you have in mind? Being in a relationship involves all kinds of chores.

[ZEAK]

i understand zeak, purchasing a car is a big decision and it's good that you are thinking ahead...

a relationship imho is all about give and take, you need this for both your happiness

your partner isn't exactly on the bottom of the ladder in earnings in thailand, if she's on 30 k she earns well

i'm guessing u have owned cars before, some people love them some loathe them, i'm guessing they are not your cup of tea...

has your partner ever owned a car? i'm guessing she hasn't if she can't drive..

you are refusing to allow her to experience something that is within her reach, because u don't agree with it

i wouldn't be happy if i had never learned to drive/purchase a car all because my partner forbid it..

imho you'd have more say if u were picking up the bill from the get-go, but it seems her intentions are to finance/purchase the car herself

when u say u are happier with the idea of a driver @ 10k per month...are u going to pay for that? from your own money? or do u expect your wife to contribute?

can u imagine wanting to purchase a car @ 10k month only to be told u can't afford it...but u can afford a daily limo service at 10k per month...same price but u don't get to keep the car...

warranties cover costs of repairs, a new car would cost the same or less as paying a driver 10k month on the never never for a motor u will never own, get a satang back on

She has earnings, but along with that she also has expenses.

I have had mustangs to Jeeps and I really miss driving in my country. I go back once a year and put on thousands of clicks on the road. As for my girl, no, never drove, does not even have a licence.

No, I would not expect her to pay for the 10K, I would. 100% Jeezz, that would be a real crappy thing to do now wouldnt it?

She would finance the car herself IF I do not help with the down payment bla bla bla. And who are you to say that it IS within her reach?? Do you know if she has any financial obligations or not? Any future plans that she is saving for? No, you dont, but I do. She can not afford this car on her own!

And who is to say that she will never get to drive and enjoy the freedom? All I know is that right now is not the right time for her to grasp for it. Whos to say what the future will bring.

Your last sentence sounds like you are in the auto sales industry!! Say what you will, I know what cars cost and I know that they are a depreciating asset. Nothing you say will change this fact.

[Briggsy]

Thais like cars.

Thais like debt.

Thais like attention.

Just think, a year from now, your beloved will be sitting in her car when the repo man comes knocking on her offside window. She'll be in seventh heaven.

[ZEAK]

I know what you are saying, and I have let her make her own way with her life. She choose her own life and I have guided her only when asked. She has made mistakes, and learned from them. But I will not sit by when I know she can not afford this. I will not let her make this mistake because it involves both of us. I am not trying to control you when I say I wish you could see that this involves me too.

I am sorry that you do not understand that this is not about who wins or who looses. It is about her understanding that a car is a huge thing to take on when one has no savings, no residence, and a small salary. Why is this so difficult to percieve? Really?

Devil boy can say what he likes, but only if he guarantee's it.

That was a smart ass comment!

And most couples, I said couples not "partner/boss" (smart ass) do tend to work together on major issues such as house, cars, vacations. Or does your misses wear the pants and make all the decisions? And this is a little bigger than where we are going to eat tonight if you know what I mean.

later dude

On the one hand he says 'work together on major issues', but then says 'I will not let her'. Controlling.

And to top it all, and if it was said earlier, I would have ignored this thread...Later dude. OMG.

Hmmm. You and bkkbound04 are like 2 peas in a pod aint ya? Each come running to the other to give a little squeeze on the bum and wisper "its alright". Quite the tag team you got going on. I just hope you keep it too the realm of this forum, thats all.

[ZEAK]

Thais like cars.

Thais like debt.

Thais like attention.

This is true, very true.

[mr_hippo]

Now as you can't or won't answer the 'going for a beer' question, some forum members will draw their own conclusion - that you are a control freak. You say buying a car involves the two of you whereas going out without her does not?

<deleted>??

No need to call me names. If you can not understand that the question you gave does not have the same weighting as a major purchase does, well then I'm sorry for you. Two very different situations with different degrees.

"I will try to be nicer if you try to be smarter"

What name did I call you? I said that some members will draw the conclusion that you are a control freak. Where in the post did I call you names? So the conclusion that I draw is that you won't answer the question. The size and amount of the purchase is irrelevant. If you want to change the question to "Zeak, you are not going to buy (something the equivalent value of a new car), I forbid you." Now that the playing fields are level, try to answer that but not with 'It will never happen'

As for your parting quip, it is you who ought to try to be nicer and smarter.

You may print this out but in bigger letters, you may use your finger to point to the words as you say them, If there are any big words, split them up into smaller pieces and say each part. There are teachers on this site to help you with reading and comprehension,

[ZEAK]

I know what you are saying, and I have let her make her own way with her life. She choose her own life and I have guided her only when asked. She has made mistakes, and learned from them. But I will not sit by when I know she can not afford this. I will not let her make this mistake because it involves both of us. I am not trying to control you when I say I wish you could see that this involves me too.

I am sorry that you do not understand that this is not about who wins or who looses. It is about her understanding that a car is a huge thing to take on when one has no savings, no residence, and a small salary. Why is this so difficult to percieve? Really?

Devil boy can say what he likes, but only if he guarantee's it.

That was a smart ass comment!

And most couples, I said couples not "partner/boss" (smart ass) do tend to work together on major issues such as house, cars, vacations. Or does your misses wear the pants and make all the decisions? And this is a little bigger than where we are going to eat tonight if you know what I mean.

later dude

On the one hand he says 'work together on major issues', but then says 'I will not let her'. Controlling.

And to top it all, and if it was said earlier, I would have ignored this thread...Later dude. OMG.

Bernie, I am working on the issue. She says she needs a car to prevent the possibility of getting raped. I am on here getting ideas that would help our situation. You did manage to give a very good suggestion, and then I got the driver idea from here as well. So I am happy that I have some thing to tell her that we can do to keep her safe. So why am I controling? Because I know her financial state and know she cannot afford a car, and this is a bad thing to you? wow.

[moonoi]

seems some people are more interested in zeak bashing than actually answering his question...funny that.

Zeak for my opinion I think that looking for a trustworthy taxi driver and hiring him to drive your missus to and from work is the best solution for you as someone previously suggested. It may not even cost you as much as 10k (thats probably the most your likely to pay).

sorry I can't help myself.....Mr Hippo...you haven't a clue have you? The OP has justified his reasons why he forbids his gf/companion/fiance/whatever a car. I would think thats being more thoughtful and caring about her than just letting her go and make a huge finacial commitment which being aware of her finances, he knows she can't meet. I would suspect that should he wish to make an equally large purchase that affected the 2 of them, they would discuss it between themselves (as they are doing in this case) and decide together whether they can or cannot afford it. It ain't rocket science.

[tigerbeer]

Thais like cars.

Thais like debt.

Thais like attention.

This is true, very true.

dont forget the mobile phones.

[ZEAK]

Now as you can't or won't answer the 'going for a beer' question, some forum members will draw their own conclusion - that you are a control freak. You say buying a car involves the two of you whereas going out without her does not?

<deleted>??

No need to call me names. If you can not understand that the question you gave does not have the same weighting as a major purchase does, well then I'm sorry for you. Two very different situations with different degrees.

"I will try to be nicer if you try to be smarter"

What name did I call you? I said that some members will draw the conclusion that you are a control freak. Where in the post did I call you names? So the conclusion that I draw is that you won't answer the question. The size and amount of the purchase is irrelevant. If you want to change the question to "Zeak, you are not going to buy (something the equivalent value of a new car), I forbid you." Now that the playing fields are level, try to answer that but not with 'It will never happen'

As for your parting quip, it is you who ought to try to be nicer and smarter.

You may print this out but in bigger letters, you may use your finger to point to the words as you say them, If there are any big words, split them up into smaller pieces and say each part. There are teachers on this site to help you with reading and comprehension,

Well, if I said, sweety, I am going to take our savings and buy something that I really do not need and is going to cost me money constantly, not only because I do not have enough for the purchase and have to finance, the upkeep costs are never ending, and she says no, I forbid you to by it. I would say, why? Then listen to the reasons and consider how valid they are. Thats what I would do. Savey?

And please, name calling is one thing, but making fun of ones spehelling and grhammer is jsut crewl, evin if u ar a techer.

[bkkbound04]

lol squeezing my bum lol

no i don't work in the auto trade, i never have done..i've worked in the print industry and i'll soon be opening my own gym

on the subject of work :whistle: u didn't say what u do? or what u earn?

u have a great interest in your gf finances...is that because your own finances are in such a sorry state?

you state that u will pay 10k a month indefinatley that u will never get back, but u refuse to contribute 10k to purchasing a car, her take on that would be less than she is spending on taxis now :whistle:

this isn't an insult, dig just an opinion..

i really wouldn't be suprised if this relationship doesn't last, and when u next see your gf she is driving her own car

lol maybe she'll offer u a lift

soon your gf will realise that you are controlling/suffocating her..

btw, what was the purpose of this thread?

looking for manipulation tips/techniques?

atb with the future, whatever happens..

and just to pick up on your gay jibe, u don't have a great understanding of thailand in general if u want to throw childish comments like that about..

thailand is very accepting of homosexuals/cross dressers imho more so than in the west

my daughter is 6 months old, so unless i'm yet to some to terms with my sexuality then your comments were irrelevant, childish and uncalled for...

[mr_hippo]

I did not call you any names but I can sink to your puerile level if I choose to. One last piece of advice is 'Quit while you are behind'

bkkhound04 - there was a gay jibe in Zeak's post to you and he called me 'sweety', perhaps he is unsure of his own sexuality. Should we tell him that it is alright for him to come out of the closet?

[britmaveric]

Getting a regular taxi driver is probably the best available advice I've have heard thus far - even better make sure the driver is female and well the chances of something dodgey are pretty remote.

However I do think you will end up getting a car in the long run. Reminds me of a new mobile phone discussion a mate and his gf had. Kept pestering him until he got it even though her current mobile was less than a year old.

Edited February 19, 2007 by britmaveric

[Briggsy]

Why don't you lend her the money? Draw up a notarised contract. And then she will belong to you. [insert manic demonic laughter here]

[moonoi]

I did not call you any names but I can sink to your puerile level if I choose to. One last piece of advice is 'Quit while you are behind'

bkkhound04 - there was a gay jibe in Zeak's post to you and he called me 'sweety', perhaps he is unsure of his own sexuality. Should we tell him that it is alright for him to come out of the closet?

Erm methinks someone can't read.

Perhaps you would like to read his response again?

Well, if I said, sweety, I am going to take our savings and buy something that I really do not need and is going to cost me money constantly, not only because I do not have enough for the purchase and have to finance, the upkeep costs are never ending, and she says no, I forbid you to by it. I would say, why? Then listen to the reasons and consider how valid they are.

OMG its a fictional conversation with his gf....he isn't calling you sweety at all? Who really wants to come out of the closet?

Now really girls grow up! To extrapolate that someones relationship is going to fail on the basis that he doesn't want his gf to own a car is ridiculous and you know it....go on...admit it.....you only feel good when you have someone else to bash right? Gives you a feeling of superiority doesn't it....Feel better now? You can go back out to the playground now, no ones there to hurt you anymore.

Edited February 19, 2007 by moonoi

[Moonfruit]

While the to and fro bashing does amuse me, and i love to read it (keep it up guys!) i would suggest that maybe a driver might be the best option. Getting a taxi driver to meet those obligations will be very very tough though. He would be passing up many fares to be at the time and place of your choosing. If hes just had a fare to Ayyuthaya, he aint gonna turn that down to get to the airport for you.

A solution ive used in the past (in this case getting my daughter to school instead of sitting on the school bus for over 2 hours, morning and evening) was to employ a trusted family friend. Thais usually have many trusted family friends, most with a pick-up kicking around! We paid him 7,000THB/month, mon-fri including all the fuel, and made it clear that we wouldnt be paying for any truck repairs or maintenence etc etc.

At the end of the day though, she will end up with a car. You may be able to delay it a few months, but it will happen soon. You can delay it further by starting her ona course of driving lessons. (Maybe have a word in the instructors ear to keep them sparce!) She is earning 30,000/month. That means her group of peers are earning the same, and of course it is human nature to be on a par with your peers. at a 30,000/month salary level, i can bet they all have cars!

[seagull]

lol squeezing my bum lol

no i don't work in the auto trade, i never have done..i've worked in the print industry and i'll soon be opening my own gym

on the subject of work :whistle: u didn't say what u do? or what u earn?

u have a great interest in your gf finances...is that because your own finances are in such a sorry state?

you state that u will pay 10k a month indefinatley that u will never get back, but u refuse to contribute 10k to purchasing a car, her take on that would be less than she is spending on taxis now :whistle:

this isn't an insult, dig just an opinion..

i really wouldn't be suprised if this relationship doesn't last, and when u next see your gf she is driving her own car

lol maybe she'll offer u a lift

soon your gf will realise that you are controlling/suffocating her..

btw, what was the purpose of this thread?

looking for manipulation tips/techniques?

atb with the future, whatever happens..

and just to pick up on your gay jibe, u don't have a great understanding of thailand in general if u want to throw childish comments like that about..

thailand is very accepting of homosexuals/cross dressers imho more so than in the west

my daughter is 6 months old, so unless i'm yet to some to terms with my sexuality then your comments were irrelevant, childish and uncalled for...

Somewhere along the 2nd or 3rd page, I had intended to post something similar to what you have posted here, bkkbound04. I agree with you wholly.

There is something amiss here, priorities just not right. Her gf's finance or for her gf's safety? Then would pay for employing a driver for about 10,000 bht per month. It just doesn't make sense at all. Maybe I am stupid tonight.