Why Do Thai's Introduce Their Close Friends As Relatives?

[Livinginexile]

A few weeks ago my Thai wife intruduced me to a woman she knows here in Sydney, she inturn introduced me to her brother-in-law. They are both studying for their degrees here.

It turns out her sister returned to Thailand early this year for family reasons and just her and her brother-in-law are here untill her sister returns next semester.

Anyway I was chatting to the Mrs about them last night and it turns out that this woman isn't really her sister, they are just close friends....so in fact by definition it is not her brother-in-law either. Actually they are not even married, they are just planning to marry.

It got really confusing and the Mrs informed me it is very common for Thai people to regard their close friends as relatives and even introduce them to others as such. She then told me that 2 of her cousins that she has introduced to me are not really her cousins at all...just close friends.

Now this makes sense about all the Thai's I have met over the years that have introduced their relatives to me and at the time thinking there was no family resemblence about them at all.

Has anyone else come across these Thai pseudo family relationships?

[dave111223]

My wife has like 25 grandmothers.

[m155g0ld]

It's very normal but I couldn't really say why for sure...

I think it's something to do with the direct translation of 'pi' and 'nong' which they use before a person's name (e.g. Pi Nid) and I think means roughly 'big sister' and 'little sister'. I'm sure there must be someone on TV who can clarify this point as I am not 100%.

I've even been introduced as a Thai friend's 'sister' on the odd occasion which I find very odd but also kinda sweet.

[cm-happy]

Yes happens to me as well.

In fact some of my close Thai friends will introduce ME as Uncle. I'm farang, by the way, so is quite obvious that I am not a Thai's Uncle. Humorous if you think about it.

[qwertz]

So long as they don't start calling you "my brother". If you hear these words (usually pronounced "my bladder"), run for the hills and don't stop to pack.

[lazeeboy]

Yes happens to me as well.

In fact some of my close Thai friends will introduce ME as Uncle. I'm farang, by the way, so is quite obvious that I am not a Thai's Uncle. Humorous if you think about it.

i have 2 thai freinds who both call me there brother im also farang ,its more a respect thing, in there case as they are wealthy thais so not a pitch to me lending giving them money my advice has always been marry an orphan that way no sick relatives to look after ,im still looking for my orphan

[iamguava]

Yes it is very common to use family terms in this way.

My closet friend always refers to me as brother and in turn I call her sister, been that way for past 10 years. I even receive birthday cards "to a dear brother". Like cm-happy it would be obvious to outsiders that we could not possibly be blood related.

[bonviveur]

Yes it is very common to use family terms in this way.

My closet friend always refers to me as brother and in turn I call her sister, been that way for past 10 years. I even receive birthday cards "to a dear brother". Like cm-happy it would be obvious to outsiders that we could not possibly be blood related.

That is why love the place so much.

[sbk]

Then there is also the phenomenon of introducing distant relatives as close relatives.

My husband used to introduce every other man as his uncle. Finally, after realizing he couldn't possibly have that many uncles, asked and was told that his parents' cousins hold the same kind of relationship as an uncle or aunt, and are introduced as such. And the honorific of aunt or uncle are used with them as well.

Just to add to the confusion

[iamguava]

My closet friend always refers to me as brother and in turn I call her sister

Before someone else notices I did of course mean closest and not closet!!!!!

[Livinginexile]

I wonder at what point of the relationship they decide they are related?

Do they make a formal anouncement and expect all to regard them as such henceforth?

[sceadugenga]

My wife has two close male friends from her schooldays. One, outwardly gay, she calls phee (Cha) and the other, a local police officer and happily married, she calls naa (Yong).

Her brothers and sisters and younger nieces and nephews call me loong, but their teenage children call me sceadugenga!

[peter991]

My Thai BF has a lot of 'sisters.' Every female he meets and becomes a friend to becomes a 'sister.' Thai males and females he knows refer to him as 'she.'

Peter

[jumnien]

Hey, my brother from another mother, I sometimes share your confusion. Peace, bro!

[Tarragona]

They're not really introducing friends as relatives, it's just that in Thai those words also cover relationships that are not blood relationships. So, it can be confusing if you assign a strict English meaning to the words. It reflects the way Thais view their relationships.

[Neeranam]

What confuses me is whether to call my brother in law "pee keuy" or "nong keuy". I am 40, he is 35, my wife is 30. The Thai rules are to call him "pee"

I don't call him any and call him "bro".

My wife had a great great grandfather a few years ago(died at 106) - that gets very confusing with all the "tuats"

[Jai Dee]

My wife had a great great grandfather a few years ago(died at 106) - that gets very confusing with all the "tuats"

[macb]

THE THAI CULTURE

DONT WORRY ABOUT IT TILL YOUR WALLET IS EMPTY HAHAHAHAHA

[a2396]

I think this is a very bad practice, because you are never sure about the true nature of a relationahip. I am sure it will not change, as (for some) it is a convenient subterfusion for the person doing this. Boyfriends become brothers & mama sans become aunts. This is not only a Thai thing. I have seen them do the same in China.

[astral]

Why Do Thai's Introduce Their Close Friends As Relatives?, It can be quite confusing

Simple, they don't.

In most eastern cultures it is common to address others as "elder brother" or "elder sister",

or "Auntie" and "Uncle" if they are older. It is just common courtesy.

Wasn't it that way when you where young?

I was brought up to address the lady next door as Auntie.

These days I am referred to as Lung, older Uncle, or Poo, grandfather.

I am very happy with that.

[pgs]

Loong / Khun / My Brother to many. As long as they don't call me 'late for dinner', I don't mind.

Also worked with an Indian woman who referred to me as brother. This is also reasonably common in Viet Nam.

Edited May 12, 2007 by pgs

[Peteinbkk31]

Hey, my brother from another mother, I sometimes share your confusion. Peace, bro!

Haha, my little half thai half english sister said this to me a couple of months ago ... She's 10 and I'm 32 ... Don't know where she heard it from ???

[iamguava]

OH my ...... cant you just tell from some posts which forum members have been hurt in the playground

[Heng]

Well, people don't need to be related by blood to be "family," especially here, but also true in a lot of other places in the world. Because of closer bonds between those who aren't related by blood but also often like 'the Sopranos' with more difficult to pronounce last names.

[Joon]

Overheard conversation:

Farang: Is he your *real* brother?

Thai: Yes, he is older than me.

[qwertz]

OH my ...... cant you just tell from some posts which forum members have been hurt in the playground

Amen to that, bro.

[uptou]

i find this worse with burmese people.they seem to call any freind,a brother (pronounced,"he's my bruuuuuuuuther"),or sister.the same with cousins.very confusing.

anyway back to thailand.

[srifah]

To be polite--most Thai's address others according to their obervations since there's no "hey you" in Thai.

If they perceive someone older, they'll address Pei/Uncle/Grandfather, etc. Too bad if you look older than your age, and be called "uncle"-- just thinking they call you because of your wisdom.

There's no Thai word beyond great grandfather--simply "Tuat" no matter how great, great, great they are.

[rychrde]

I actually had this discussion with some Thais over a bottle or four of 'whisky' (actually they were all shocked when I told them sangsom was not a whisky but a rum - it says so on the label!) and certainly the term 'uncle' will always be used when addressing someone who altho a friend is older (and wiser?!). It is a term of respect, and furthermore, would be treated as an insult if the title was dropped, even by accident. We never got round to the brother/sister thang.

This is not so different to when I lived in Italy and had a whole posse of uncles and aunts. Indeed there are some people I would still call, eg zio Giuseppe, and would be considered an insult to just use his first name. In Italy, it doesn't extend to bro/sis etc.

One amusing exchange:

me: she's your sister?

wife: no, she's my younger sister!

me: yes ok, I understand but still a sister.

wife: no, she's my younger sister!

me: is there any beer in the fridge?

wife: no, my younger sister drank it!

rych

Edited May 12, 2007 by rychrde

[sceadugenga]

I think this is a very bad practice, because you are never sure about the true nature of a relationahip. I am sure it will not change, as (for some) it is a convenient subterfusion for the person doing this. Boyfriends become brothers & mama sans become aunts. This is not only a Thai thing. I have seen them do the same in China.

It's only a way of showing respect.

Interesting about what you say about Mama-Sans, in the PI the Mama-San was always "Mummy" and the bar owner or manager "Daddy".