Thought I had a good handle on the Thais concept of face. Don't embarrass, belittle, humiliate, publicly or privately. This it turns out is a very naive superficial view.

A recent incident Where my guy threw a full blown hissy fitt ranting 'bout him loosing face.

He wants to learn how to use computers & the internet. I tried some lessons myself, but problems because the explanation I provided were in English and what he really needed for understanding was an explanation in Thai. Fair enough!

So I asked a Thai neighbor( who is computer & internet literate) for a favor to tudor my guy in Thai. An even bigger hissy fitt. My guy says he'll lose face with the neighbor because he'll ask, in his mind, alot of stupid questions, causing the neighbor to think he's stupid and thus losing face.

So ok, third alternative, hire a paid tudor. Now everything is fine. Now it's a more formal student/teacher thing and no lose of face involved whatsoever.

Maybe I'm thick without good people skills, but simply do not understand my guys reaction. But then I think this could be true & applied, in my case, to so many aspects of Thailand/ Thais people.

No matter how long I live here(since 2001) will never, never fully understand Thais or Thailand in general.

Living here in no way shape or form makes me an expert!! Just a general familiarzation.

So ok with that said, go ahead and bash away(gently please). But let me save you the bother of calling me stupid. I know I am and freely admit that I lack a real in depth understanding of many things Thais or Thaisland related, but learning more very day.

I have found, that if you substitute the word "face" with "ego", it is much easier to understand.

In order to lose face I guess you would need to be respected to begin with.

There again TIT.

Naka.

time to change your "MY GUY". being gay is hard enuff......lol.

I have found, that if you substitute the word "face" with "ego", it is much easier to understand.

ne'er a truer word spoken.

The Thais have "face" while we in the west have "ego". Although in the west we are educated to ask questions a lot of us have problems asking friends/colleagues etc whereas a complete stranger presents no issue at all.

A lot of it stems from the likely response you'll get from someone who knows you compared with a stranger. A friend is likely to have a dig if the question is thought trivial while a stranger will just answer it (maybe thinking what a plonker).

I am convinced the Thai concept of face is designed to allow them to avoid being brought to book for their mistakes. It's a collective plot. Nobody is ever shown the error of their ways lest they be shown theirs.

It allows people who are terrible at their job to advance by smiling a lot. It allows workmen to destroy a job that a rubber duck could do (On Nut paths, anyone?) and walk away safe in the knowledge that they will never hear about it. It allows students to cheat and lie and still pass. It goes hand in hand with the Thai tendency to tell silly lies and deny the brazenly obvious instead of saying "sorry! I forgot. i'll do it now"

Any culture that prefers to nod knowingly with no clue instead of asking and learning is going to find the modern world a tough slog.

i think the rest of the world looks at thailand as a non entity. too mut face thing and corruption, nothing gets done!

unless you are a country worse off than thailand...lol.

Agreed. The Thai's need to realise that " face " as an excuse for just about all personal failings belongs in the past. If they wish, as they claim to do, to be an International player. Acceptance of responsibilty is essential.

Maybe I'm thick without good people skills, but simply do not understand my guys reaction. But then I think this could be true & applied, in my case, to so many aspects of Thailand/ Thais people.

No matter how long I live here(since 2001) will never, never fully understand Thais or Thailand in general.

Try reading Inside Thai Society by Niels Mulder. It goes much deeper than Culture Shock Thailand and similar books, although it has a rather academic flavour. You can find it at Asia Books.

time to change your "MY GUY". being gay is hard enuff......lol.

sorry Blizzard but----NEVER,NEVER,NEVER--My Guy is MY GUY!!!!!!