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Cooling off over a prolonged period, after the purchase of property in her name, and now an unaccountable silence at a time when your long awaited retirement plan is about to come to fruition suggest the relationship is at an end.

Quite why she should join you in the UK simply for a trip if it was her intention to shaft you from the outset is perhaps puzzling and I suspect it may be this that is preying on your mind as you try to come to terms with what it is you actually have.

I suppose you could always try and engage in a full and frank exchange but the Thai way of manipulating these sorts of situations does not augur well.

To be brutal, the likely scenario is the husband is still an active partner and her employment in Bangkok may well have produced other fruitful lines to be pursued in the UK.

The trouble is you will not actually know this unless she tells you, an unlikely event but without candour you will be plagued with thoughts that perhaps she is a good 'un and you are at fault for thinking the worst. Betrayal does that and judgement flies out the window.

Lancing the boil is the way to go but who amongst us have the appetite for that.

Nothing lasts forever and upon looking back to one of your previous posts it occurs to me that money is not a problem for you and if you enjoy good health your future is optimistic.

By all means wallow in sentiment for the time being but such a cloying pastime soon palls and eventually you will see just what a lucky escape you had.

If the property in Hua Hin rankles then knock it down. It's yours after all but please make sure you have bunged the old bill a wedge first.

Plenty of fish in the sea, old sport. A useful therapy might be standing at the bottom of the escalator in the Emporium shopping mall on any weekday afternoon in Bangkok. Spotted loads of willowy whoopsies spending their paramours' money and still willing to catch one's eye en passant..........

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Difficult to get good staff Greg isn't it?

I feel our staff is very good. It’s not the staff fault when we never got the e-mail in the first place. As it was pointed out and the OP will attest, it was not Sunbelt's fault Since then he has corresponded on the correct address several times with our staff.

I will PM you tomorrow about the problems I have encountered registering a company in CM..through your firm

I responded to your pm but have not heard back from you. You said you wanted to get a work permit now and your wife company did not have registered capital of one million baht.

Told you I could only surmise that it was a sole proprietorship which has different requirements than a Thai company for a work permit or it could of been, as your wife had limited funds, they registered the company for a marginal amount until she had the one million Baht when you needed the work permit.

Without knowing your name, I can't just call the CM office and ask about the "ThaiPauly" case. I need to know your name and give you a more intelligent answer than speculation on how you may qualify or what you may need to do now to qualify for a work permit.

www.sunbeltasiagroup.com

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Difficult to get good staff Greg isn't it?

I feel our staff is very good. It’s not the staff fault when we never got the e-mail in the first place. As it was pointed out and the OP will attest, it was not Sunbelt's fault Since then he has corresponded on the correct address several times with our staff.

I will PM you tomorrow about the problems I have encountered registering a company in CM..through your firm

I responded to your pm but have not heard back from you. You said you wanted to get a work permit now and your wife company did not have registered capital of one million baht.

Told you I could only surmise that it was a sole proprietorship which has different requirements than a Thai company for a work permit or it could of been, as your wife had limited funds, they registered the company for a marginal amount until she had the one million Baht when you needed the work permit.

Without knowing your name, I can't just call the CM office and ask about the "ThaiPauly" case. I need to know your name and give you a more intelligent answer than speculation on how you may qualify or what you may need to do now to qualify for a work permit.

www.sunbeltasiagroup.com

Sorry about that...I asumed that you knew my TV Idendity as we have had several conversations in the past, having said that I appreciate you have thousands of clients.

Will send the details

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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

What is your objective? She is thai you are not. You have been had already like so many others.

Maybe Sunbelt will contact you after they seop laughing

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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

What is your objective? She is thai you are not. You have been had already like so many others.

Maybe Sunbelt will contact you after they seop laughing

That's really constructive advice.....if you are gonna post drivel like this at least make sure you check your spelling ...otherwise the laugh is at your expense :o

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Let's keep things civil, please.
"RusticCharm" The OP knows he has possibly been a mug he asked for advice not abuse - if all have to offer is the tripe you submitted can I suggest you voluntarily remove the Right of REPLY BUTTON from your Favourites (sic)
Abuse? Tripe?

Where was the abuse in my post?

I stand by what I said.

He admitted himself he has a history of ignoring advice.

Asking him whether he would have married a hooker with 2 kid sand put a house in her name in his home country is a legitimate question, I think.

Advising him to return to his home country to start again was also relevent.

Maybe the guy's a little too naive for LOS.

It wasn't meant as a flame.

As for you thinking my post was tripe, well, opinions vary but I don't think I'm the only poster astounded at the many westerners who do this.

If the OP was offended at my post then he should drop me a PM and I'll apologise to him. But mijan, I considered your post to be complete and utter tripe. A 30 year-lease? Riight! Why should she? She already legally owns the house.

As for some legitimate advice with regards to his situation, he hasn't got as leg to stand on. Sorry!

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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

Dont let her know your plans here, tell her you want to sell to buy a bigger house,.play happy familes all the way, do not let her get wind ,greed will hopefully prevail here and she will think shes on a bonus, as soon as the house is sold get control of the money and tell her you have changed your mind as things havent been good between you and get ready for the fireworks !, you have to be ruthless here or you will lose the lot !

Mate thats perfect, he could even go as far as looking and selecting a bigger, newer and more expensive place. After 2 years she would be aware of his finances so tell her an uncle or whoever, is going to lent him the difference.

If she is a gold digger she will fall for it hook, line and sinker.

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Let's keep things civil, please.
"RusticCharm" The OP knows he has possibly been a mug he asked for advice not abuse - if all have to offer is the tripe you submitted can I suggest you voluntarily remove the Right of REPLY BUTTON from your Favourites (sic)
Abuse? Tripe?

Where was the abuse in my post?

I stand by what I said.

He admitted himself he has a history of ignoring advice.

Asking him whether he would have married a hooker with 2 kid sand put a house in her name in his home country is a legitimate question, I think.

Advising him to return to his home country to start again was also relevent.

Maybe the guy's a little too naive for LOS.

It wasn't meant as a flame.

As for you thinking my post was tripe, well, opinions vary but I don't think I'm the only poster astounded at the many westerners who do this.

If the OP was offended at my post then he should drop me a PM and I'll apologise to him. But mijan, I considered your post to be complete and utter tripe. A 30 year-lease? Riight! Why should she? She already legally owns the house.

As for some legitimate advice with regards to his situation, he hasn't got as leg to stand on. Sorry!

I have to agree with Rustic. It is not his fault that summarizing the facts of the OP's situation appear to insult the OP :o

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I would try to use cash to buy back a portion of the house, or rent it for a long period. She might retain ownership, but it will be you who is staying. **I am divoring right now and my wife has a constant hunger for cash. ** Or would you rather risk it all and face breaking up?

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  • 5 months later...

I never thought that I would post my situation on this forum, because others here would say, "what a chump, som nam na, you're a mug, etc." But my situation was almost identical to yours -- met a Thai girl at the White House, a hi-so nightclub then on Soi Ekkamai, was in process of difficult divorce from my then current wife, and thought that this Thai girl would be my mental salvation. After my divorce finalized, and she divorced her Thai husband, took her kid with her, I bought a house with land on Sukhaphiban 3, in an exclusive community. Let everything registered in her name, land, house, car, etc. Thought of marriage, but held off. Things went well for about two years, and then the passion faded, and there just wasn't any spark in the relationship anymore. One time, she went to a buddhist retreat in the mountains, and after she returned, her mind seemed elsewhere, and one time, she left the house (when I was away), and went wandering barefoot, no handbag or ID, on the main road. She got picked up by the police, and with no ID, and she being incoherent, they sent her to the mental asylum, where they shaved her hair and basically put her in the looney bin.

When I called the house, and no answer for hours, I got hold of the neighbors, who went into a completely dark house in the middle of the night, and told me no one was there, the door was open, etc. Now, I don't remember where the kid was, maybe was away with the grandparents. Anyway, I flew back the next day, and with the help of some of her Thai friends, we were able to locate which mental asylum she was in, and we went to extract her.

After that, her mother had to come stay with her, and at that point, I realized there was no future for us together. Luckily for me, we were not married, and though I had put quite a bit of money buying the property, furnishing it, car, etc., I thought about what I could do to get some of my money out of this. But then that would mean prolonging my relationship with her, and at that time, the baht went from 25 to the dollar to 40+ to the dollar, and the real estate market was really bad. So, I basically just cut my loss, told her that we were done, the house and everything in it was hers. And I left. Later in the last message from her, she was able to rent out the house and she would move out and live off the rental. That was over 10 years ago.

I stayed in Hong Kong these past 10 years, and rebuilt my life. In 2005 I returned to Bangkok and purchased a freehold condo in my own name, and am holding a purchase contract on a second condo. I now spend half my time in Hong Kong, and half in Bangkok, a city in the Thailand that I love.

If I told you how much I had put into that house, you people would really laugh and think I was absolutely nuts. That amount would have been enough to get me a PR visa under the special plan put in during the Asian financial crisis.

But I got my life back. From the Thai girl, she helped me recover from a difficult time of my life during my divorce, and she gave me the tools on how to enjoy living in Thailand. She taught me phrases that Thai people find amazing that a non-Thai knows, she taught me how to sing several Thai songs (by Nantida and Maleewan, for example), that in parties and other events, that when I sing those songs, it warms the hearts of the Thai people that a non-Thai could sing such songs, and she showed me how to feel comfortable living in Bangkok.

For her, she got the material things -- house, car, etc, rental income to live one, and possibly an independent life.

Who got the better part of the deal? Who knows? And I don't want to know, and I basically don't care. I'm living the life I want now, wiser certainly, but infinitely happier.

As to the OP's situation, take from the above whatever might be of useful advice to you. All I would say is, look at what options you have now, and try to project under each option what your life would be like 2, 5, and 10 years out. Then let your gut feeling tell you what you should do.

Telling my story here has been a great release for me.

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You paid your money and you take your chances. You didn't mention where her home and family are. I'd just go on and wait to see what happens. If she is not from Hua Hin it's doubtful she would want to stay there. It's possible that you could still get a thirty year lease from her if the relationship is actually over with. She would go home with a pocket full of money (you buy the lease) and would know that after thirty years the house is hers anyways. I know that paying for something you already paid for is a bummer but that may be the only option you have. Good luck and try to keep your chin up. Moping around will do your relationship no good at all.

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I don,t know. I feel sorry for the OP obviously.

Fact is................ANYONE that marries a bar-girl or EX bar-girl is looking for problems.

Would you marry a hooker back home? Really?

All these sorry stories I hear on here about farangs being ripped off and losing everything is mostly down to the fact they married hookers in Thailand.

The other lot that lose everyhthing are those that marry aftger a fleeting chat on the internet, get married after being in Thailand for 30 seconds and then wonder why it all went wrong after they invested millions of baht in cars and houses.

There are LOTS of good marriages in Thailand with Farang / Thai but you never hear about those. Why would you?

Do you post to say.................My life is wonderful? ................No. Why would you?

For every good story.........1 person will hear about it.......for every bad story...........10 people will hear about it.

Edited by Manchester
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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different,

You read all the tales and still did not learn? I am sorry for you but ....................jesus christ..............talk about one born every minute.

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 I have ignored probably the most important advice....she was an escort... I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend... Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name
Well, it appears you have a history of ignoring advice.

Is there anything to suggest you will listen to ours?

You married a hooker with 2 kids.

You put a house in her name.

Would you have done that in your home country?

It never ceases to amaze.

And advice?

Yeah! Go back to your home country and start again, a little wiser.

How dare you prejudge somone. you are obviously a man without mistakes in your life are you? Sad to speak so unkindly to someone who needs advice and so in need of help. Sometimes people amaze me. :o

Edited by coldcrush
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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

Dont let her know your plans here, tell her you want to sell to buy a bigger house,.play happy familes all the way, do not let her get wind ,greed will hopefully prevail here and she will think shes on a bonus, as soon as the house is sold get control of the money and tell her you have changed your mind as things havent been good between you and get ready for the fireworks !, you have to be ruthless here or you will lose the lot !

Mike's advice is good, exactly what I was going to suggest. After all, if she was just playing you along? then her greed might help you resolve this situation. Come up with a story along the lines that " if the new house costs more than xxxx Baht we have to show the money came from overseas." You never know, she might hand over the proceeds from the sale if she believes there's a bigger payout coming. Good luck.

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Yes, the update is that she is living in the house and I am living in a condo, strangely enough in Ekkami, and am quite relaxed whilst I prepare for the long battle ahead.

When I moved in August she became very cold and distant, though I am pretty sure there was no one else invoved. Anyway things got worse and worse, and she became violent towards me, I am pretty sure she was trying to provoke me into hitting her back so she could get me arrested. I didn't react, but I was not sure how long I could keep my cool, so on legal advice I moved out.

I am now involved in the long process to recover my property and possessions, and despite the view of my lawyer I accept it could go either way.

At the end of the day I have a good pension and can afford to lose the house and still live comfortably, though obviously that's not what I want to happen. It's only money, and whilst it might prove to be an expensive mistake my safety and piece is far more important to me than a house.

If she wins the house then so be it, I am sure it will make her happy and will set her up for life or at least until another mug comes along. She would have received a pension of about 2m Baht per year on my death, and she has lost that.

I am grateful for all the constructive replies and support they were very helpfulful to me when I needed the support, and as for the rude and sarcastic replies if they made you happy then you are even sadder than me.

Watch this space

Edited by Governor
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Yes, the update is that she is living in the house and I am living in a condo, strangely enough in Ekkami, and am quite relaxed whilst I prepare for the long battle ahead.

When I moved in August she became very cold and distant, though I am pretty sure there was no one else invoved. Anyway things got worse and worse, and she became violent towards me, I am pretty sure she was trying to provoke me into hitting her back so she could get me arrested. I didn't react, but I was not sure how long I could keep my cool, so on legal advice I moved out.

I am now involved in the long process to recover my property and possessions, and despite the view of my lawyer I accept it could go either way.

At the end of the day I have a good pension and can afford to lose the house and still live comfortably, though obviously that's not what I want to happen. It's only money, and whilst it might prove to be an expensive mistake my safety and piece is far more important to me than a house.

If she wins the house then so be it, I am sure it will make her happy and will set her up for life or at least until another mug comes along. She would have received a pension of about 2m Baht per year on my death, and she has lost that.

I am grateful for all the constructive replies and support they were very helpfulful to me when I needed the support, and as for the rude and sarcastic replies if they made you happy then you are even sadder than me.

Watch this space

Well at least you will be OK even if you lose out and she keeps it all. Take heart from the fact she has lost the 2 million a year - you do not ven have to rub it in with her - just take comfort from the fact it would probably eat her heart out!

Good luck with whatever comes along - enjoy your life in Thailand

PS: I never knew there were so many perfect people in the world who had never made a mistake in their lives till I rad TV - it makes up mere mortals shke with awe at them - I bet they are al as boring as hel_l though and are billy no mates.

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I don't want to discourage you but if there is a settlement and you happen to get a share, make sure there is a firm settlement date. I knew a guy who suffered all the way through the court proceedings and he was finally awarded half the assets upon the sale of the assets. Four years later he has never received a baht. To add insult to injury, his lawyer was NOT cheap.

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I have read so many tales of woe and this and other forums, and I have ignored probably the most important advice and I need to find some help to stop me losing everything.

I met a girl in Bangkok on the internet and yes she was an escort, but she was different, I have read this so many times before. I was aware that she had two kids from a Thai boyfriend who had abandoned her and the kids, I am pretty sure she turned to escorting/prostitution as she knew nothing else and she needed to support the kids.

We really hit off and we spoke about possible marriage, and after two and a half years that's what we did.

We decided to move to Hua Hin and buy a house there ready for my retirement at the end of July. Against all advice, and I know it's a regular subject on forums, I paid for the house and land and I allowed the house and land to be in her name, I did not protect myself, I think I was rather bulldozed and I honestly did think she was ok.

We moved into the house early last year and from that stage things started to cool, to the stage that I had, and still have, doubts about her faithfulness. She is currently with me in the UK, and barely talking to me.

I still love Thailand and even my wife and I still want a future in Hua Hin and with my wife, but I am seriously concerned about my future.

I have concerns that when I come out in August she could simply bar me from our home, or even sell it in the meantime and I will have nothing.

What I would hope to do is re-register the house in my name and have a lease on the land so I can protect my future. I have no intention of asking her to leave; I love her and the kids far too much and would build in protection for her and the kids if that was possible.

I really need some advice and the name of a reliable lawyer. I know I have been naive and stupid, so please don't remind me of it.

I have e-mailed Sunbelt for advice but so far I have got no response.

Dont let her know your plans here, tell her you want to sell to buy a bigger house,.play happy familes all the way, do not let her get wind ,greed will hopefully prevail here and she will think shes on a bonus, as soon as the house is sold get control of the money and tell her you have changed your mind as things havent been good between you and get ready for the fireworks !, you have to be ruthless here or you will lose the lot !

Very good advice.

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Yes, the update is that she is living in the house and I am living in a condo, strangely enough in Ekkami, and am quite relaxed whilst I prepare for the long battle ahead.

When I moved in August she became very cold and distant, though I am pretty sure there was no one else invoved. Anyway things got worse and worse, and she became violent towards me, I am pretty sure she was trying to provoke me into hitting her back so she could get me arrested. I didn't react, but I was not sure how long I could keep my cool, so on legal advice I moved out.

I am now involved in the long process to recover my property and possessions, and despite the view of my lawyer I accept it could go either way.

At the end of the day I have a good pension and can afford to lose the house and still live comfortably, though obviously that's not what I want to happen. It's only money, and whilst it might prove to be an expensive mistake my safety and piece is far more important to me than a house.

If she wins the house then so be it, I am sure it will make her happy and will set her up for life or at least until another mug comes along. She would have received a pension of about 2m Baht per year on my death, and she has lost that.

I am grateful for all the constructive replies and support they were very helpfulful to me when I needed the support, and as for the rude and sarcastic replies if they made you happy then you are even sadder than me.

Watch this space

As they say...You either have an earner...or a learner :o

Get on with the rest of your life and enjoy your retirement. It's only money...and from the sound of it, you have plenty left

All the best :D

RAZZ

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I thought I wouldgive you another update.

Trawling through the internet today when a google search found the details of my house that my wife has put up for sale, together with all the contents that I purchased.

I was going to walk away and start again, but there is a certain amount of pride here.

What do you think?

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