Marrying A Thaigirl..?

[wileycoyote]

[My subsequent decision to marry my Thai wife was made in the full knowledge of what can go wrong and what it can cost.

If you are not sure marriage is the right thing for you don't do it.

I agree with buffcoat.

I understand your concerns,however wouldn't it be best to discuss your doubts/fears with your partner.

After all,she may have to evaluate her job,way of life,friends,family,location and she needs reassurance as well.

I would re-read this topic and think about the advice and then start discussions with your partner

Good Luck

Wiley Coyote

[Jersey_UK]

I really do not know why OP is getting any stick about trying to get an idea about divorce laws before marrying............I would personally think he was a complete donut if he never considered the position.........IME folk "abroad" (not just Thailand) do have a tendency to over assume that laws and legal concepts and practices are all pretty much the same the world over as at "Home" (whether "home" is in Kansas or Milton Keynes).....and they are quite often right, but never automatically so..........but it is never wasted time making sure............unless you ask you can not know whether the Divorce laws in country XYZ involve one party being able to do something legally nasty to the other............very easily. to my broad understanding the Thai Divorce laws seemed quite reasonable, if not more favourable to me - certainly from the standpoint of keeping down legal costs. But I am aware that the Missus could end up divorcing me (or me vice verce) in UK land - ouch!

FWIW, before I recently married I looked into this, and we discussed it between ourselves (intended that she relocate to the UK) - her main concern was that the marriage was also legal in the UK and that I could not divorce her without her knowledge. Basically she wanted to know that we had a "normal" legal system that was broadly similar to Thailand. and I think these were quite legitamate questions. and were the same as I had looked into (except about Thailand).

We then drifted onto funeral arrangements!............not something either of us is planning for the forseable!, just that she does not want to get Barbecued and wants to be buried in one piece........seemed reassured that I had access to a family plot that goes back over a few hundred years (and no, she is not measuring me for a coffin!).........talking about and thinking ahead about "bad stuff" is for me just rather boringly sensible...........

[Jersey_UK]

Duplicate post

Edited June 27, 2007 by Jersey_UK

[qwertz]

I never gave a thought to funeral arrangements either, Jersey.

Until I was widowed for the first time.

At least I knew the route the second time I was widowed.

And before anyone asks, no I didn't poison them, it was natural causes in both cases.

[pumpuiman]

Marrying my Thai wife was the best decision I have ever made.

I love her and her family (which by the way, come with the package)

I'm going on 5 years of happiness.

I'm blessed to have met her.

[qwertz]

Good luck for you!

From an envious reader,

[t.s]

Why get officially married in the first place ?

If you just want to stay here, get a job teaching at a good school and they will get you one year visas each year. If you are old enough to retire, retirement visa works with 800KBaht.

The 9 monk religious ceremony is all that is needed to be married in the eyes of the family/village usually. Avoid the Ampur and the finances become a moot point.

Just live with her, love her and support her and very few Thai girls will leave you.

JMHO

if on the off chance you have no desire to teach, what would you recommend?

Edited June 27, 2007 by t.s

[Luckydog]

BTW DD, one of the best things that I forgot to mention in my previous post about the obvious economic advantage of a Prenup that would allow you to keep all your assets in case of divorce is the fact that most woman who are just out for your money, will usually not be willing to sign a Prenup.

About a year ago, a good friend of mine told me he was planning to marry his girlfriend of 5 months in LOS. I advised him to tell her that he would need a Prenup before marrying her. When she tried and tried but finally realized she could not talk him out of a Prenup, he could not believe how quickly her attitude toward him changed and it became quickly apparent to him that she really more interested in his money and not him so it was all over very quickly.

Persuaded my exwife to sign a prenup. She didn't talk to me for a week after.....

I said EXwife. She got ZILCH! I divorced her for Adultery incidentally.

[Luckydog]

BTW DD, one of the best things that I forgot to mention in my previous post about the obvious economic advantage of a Prenup that would allow you to keep all your assets in case of divorce is the fact that most woman who are just out for your money, will usually not be willing to sign a Prenup.

About a year ago, a good friend of mine told me he was planning to marry his girlfriend of 5 months in LOS. I advised him to tell her that he would need a Prenup before marrying her. When she tried and tried but finally realized she could not talk him out of a Prenup, he could not believe how quickly her attitude toward him changed and it became quickly apparent to him that she really more interested in his money and not him so it was all over very quickly.

Persuaded my exwife to sign a prenup. She didn't talk to me for a week after.....

I said EXwife. She got ZILCH! I divorced her for Adultery incidentally.

[paulfr]

Why get officially married in the first place ?

If you just want to stay here, get a job teaching at a good school and they will get you one year visas each year. If you are old enough to retire, retirement visa works with 800KBaht.

The 9 monk religious ceremony is all that is needed to be married in the eyes of the family/village usually. Avoid the Ampur and the finances become a moot point.

Just live with her, love her and support her and very few Thai girls will leave you.

JMHO

if on the off chance you have no desire to teach, what would you recommend?

Well you certainly should not marry just to be able to stay in LOS.

I have numerous friends who get 60 day visa outside of LOS and extend for 30 days and the result is 4 times they leave for a few days and re-enter. The 180 day rule limiting long stays is only for visa on arrivals. So Non Imm B or O works fine or the standard Tourist Visa.

Do not marry unless you have lived with her for several years.

Some would say do not marry uness you have or plan to have a child with her.

[wileycoyote]

Do not marry unless you have lived with her for several years.

Some would say do not marry uness you have or plan to have a child with her.

I agree with paulfr.

What are both your views on children,retirement etc ?

Wiley Coyote

[hauyee]

And are there other things you should think about before marrying a thaigirl?

Sure...just to name a few

-There will be no "ha-sip/ha-sip" in the relationship

-Study the word "sinsot" carefully

-Raise the bar for your balcony if you're on the upper floor condo

-Do not teach her how to play cards

-You don't just marry a girl in Thailand..you marry her whole family!

wow! wow!wow! Just a minute.......that is not true .. some thai girl families feel that they don't want falang's money ..they just want someone to take care of their daughters. Thai families have more self respect than you give credit for in your ignorant comments. If in return I was to generalise about all falangs I would think you all smell. But I know you all dont. But maybe in your case you do. lol

[DtingDtong]

Thanks for all the response. Saw a lot of questions, I´ll try to answer some of them. Im not really that into marriage, the main reason im thinking about it is cuz of visa reasons. When she first meantioned it to me I got pretty suprised. She said we could just sign the papers so she could visit me in my homecountry without any bigger visatroubles.

I said no, seemed like a quite extreme thing to do. But now im thinking about it again, cuz of the laws have changed and its not so easy to stay in the country for longer periods.

Im not seeing us together in 10 years from now, and therefore children is not an option. Even she have meantioned it to me a couple of times that she would like to have a baby in the future. And as someone said here, the best thing is probably to live together for some time and then decide about marriage.

And retirementvisa is not an option, cuz im too young, even younger than her, .

[Fred Sanford]

I think that the OP should be prepared to hand over half of whatever he's got. That's what marriage is all about. The good thing is that worst case, you keep half. As for prenups in Thailand, I'm not sure I'd trust that. Marriage is great news though, he gets the visa (w/requirments) and he gets a huge new family

[Minburi]

It is a sad state of affairs to be even asking about a divorce even before your married and shows mistrust right away on your side. How would you be feeling if she asked these questions of you. Will he take half my money and such. What if she wanted a prenup from you is the better question.

[DtingDtong]

It is a sad state of affairs to be even asking about a divorce even before your married and shows mistrust right away on your side. How would you be feeling if she asked these questions of you. Will he take half my money and such. What if she wanted a prenup from you is the better question.

I dont need a moralizing sermon. And as I said before in this post she was the one who meationed the prenup minutes after she brought up marriage. Its just foolish to belive that two people are going to trust,respect and adore each other forever, sad but the truth. And Im also very sure two people can live together and love each other even if they made a prenup along with the marriage.

So please no more knights in shining armor.

[jetjock]

It is a sad state of affairs to be even asking about a divorce even before your married and shows mistrust right away on your side. How would you be feeling if she asked these questions of you. Will he take half my money and such. What if she wanted a prenup from you is the better question.

I dont need a moralizing sermon. And as I said before in this post she was the one who meationed the prenup minutes after she brought up marriage. Its just foolish to belive that two people are going to trust,respect and adore each other forever, sad but the truth. And Im also very sure two people can live together and love each other even if they made a prenup along with the marriage.

So please no more knights in shining armor.

DD--Great answer to Minburi's post. It is unfortunate that some people view prenups as negative when in fact they are should be considered very positive in a relationship in the sense that they help insure that both people are entering into the relationship with the highest purpose which should not be money but should in my humble opinion be 'LOVE'.

I think it was a very positive sign that your gf mentioned prenup without you even bringing it up.

Prenups can also be set up to require the other party to give more than required by law if that is their personal desire.

If someone thinks the government is much smarter than they are which some posters obviously do ( I would tend to agree with some of them after reading some of the naivety of their posts! ) as to what is the best way to divide up their assets in the event of divorce then those people do not need a prenup.

On the other hand, if the parties involved think they are just as smart or smarter than the government on how to fairly divide up personal assets then they should have a prenup to insure that right.

It should be remembered that even with a prenup, in fairness or for whatever reason, one always has the option to give the other party much more than was stipulated in the prenup agreement but it does insure that the other person cannot willfully take from you more than was agreed upon in the prenup.

Edited June 28, 2007 by jetjock

[Minburi]

It is a sad state of affairs to be even asking about a divorce even before your married and shows mistrust right away on your side. How would you be feeling if she asked these questions of you. Will he take half my money and such. What if she wanted a prenup from you is the better question.

I dont need a moralizing sermon. And as I said before in this post she was the one who meationed the prenup minutes after she brought up marriage. Its just foolish to belive that two people are going to trust,respect and adore each other forever, sad but the truth. And Im also very sure two people can live together and love each other even if they made a prenup along with the marriage.

So please no more knights in shining armor.

Oh please

Do you leave your house saying I am going to get in a car accident today? Or I am sure I will get robbed I know. With your positive out look on this relationship I am sure it will not work out anyway

as you are saying in many ways its going to fail. As for your opinion of a relationship and trust it comes across as some one from a broken home and family. So please do not tar and feather all that make it work with your negative and sad view on marriage and a family.

[TAWP]

And are there other things you should think about before marrying a thaigirl?

Sure...just to name a few

-There will be no "ha-sip/ha-sip" in the relationship

-Study the word "sinsot" carefully

-Raise the bar for your balcony if you're on the upper floor condo

-Do not teach her how to play cards

-You don't just marry a girl in Thailand..you marry her whole family!

wow! wow!wow! Just a minute.......that is not true .. some thai girl families feel that they don't want falang's money ..they just want someone to take care of their daughters. Thai families have more self respect than you give credit for in your ignorant comments. If in return I was to generalise about all falangs I would think you all smell. But I know you all dont. But maybe in your case you do. lol

He isn't refering to money when saying that you are marrying the whole family but the fact that in Thailand the girls are often closer to the family than in western countries and that your new extended family will, money-side disregarded, have strong opinions on most anything you do or decide. Be it your new house, car or how you raise your kids.