Dictionary Meanings For Personal Ads

[Jamesyboi]

40-ish = 49

Adventurous = Bangs your mates

Athletic = No tits

Average looking = Ugly

Beautiful = Pathological liar

Contagious Smile = On lots of prozac

Emotionally secure = On medication

Feminist = Fat and hairy

Free spirit = Junkie

Friendship first = Former very *friendly* person

Fun = Annoying

New Age = Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded = Desperate

Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate = Anyones after a few drinks

Professional = Bitch

Voluptuous = Big ass

Large frame = Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate = Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

[suegha]

These gave me a laugh!

[skipvice]

Funny