Married Life

[peter991]

Married Life - Makes You Go All Misty...

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to have a few beers with his mates. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the pub, Pretty Face," he answered. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the pub...You know... they have frozen glasses... "

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the pub they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, sushi and little quiches.

"But my sweet honey... at the pub.... you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? THEN F**KING LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR SORRY F**KING ARSE DOWN, SHUT THE <deleted> UP, DRINK YOUR F**KING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN F**KING MUG AND EAT YOUR F**KING HORS D'OEUVRES, BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED F**KING ARSE ISN'T GOING TO THE F**KING PUB! THAT F**KING CRAP IS OVER, GOT IT, F**KING DIPSHIT?"

And, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story!

[Pink Mist]

a direct quote from my honeymoon