Bg Relationships

[garyinthailand]

Appreciate anyone's thoughts on this. I see a lot on the forum about financially-oriented relationships, some complaining, some cheering the girl for getting everything out of the guy she could.

I just ended what seemed like a promising relationship because I saw myself being exploited more than I was willing to be. I had no problem with giving my girl money. Gave her what she asked for. But the more I gave, the worse I was treated. So I pulled the plug, quite early on. Feel I had to, but still don't feel good about it. I actually liked her, and she seemed genuinely devastated when I gave her the news. I felt like a mugger, when my brain tells me I was the muggee in at least equal measure.

I've no objection to supporting a girl. I just want to get a good value for my money. If I pay as much as she says she was making in the bar, I think I deserve to be treated at least to a good fantasy as long as it lasts.

Does anyone think this is possible? Or am I just kidding myself.

[medicinebox]

The way I see it is, you're the one paying for service, so vote with your feet.

You wouldn't keep going back to a dirty restaurant with terrible food and service, whilst paying premium prices.

Same same.

But sounds t me like she has already casteth er spell uponeth you ladd, and when you go back.............ooohhhhhh thats when she'll get you.

Stick 't' road and beware full moon.

[meemiathai]

Vote with your feet is the advice!

[mbkudu]

You've done the right thing. If she's a scab, flick her off and away. There's nothing wrong with shelling out cash to a girl but look carefully as to where it is being used by her. Are you seeing constructive results after you have given her money? To me it is important to see some sort of positive result where the money has gone. If it is being pissed away, then the relationship won't be good. I gave my wife a fair sum of money a few years back. The first thing she did was invest in equipment and a vehicle for a business venture we had talked about. She is not good at saving money, so by doing something right off instead of 'eating' it a little at a time, now she has something to help her earn money. Some girls just can't keep a baht in their pocket; as soon as it's there, it is spent. Some are tight with money and have good heads on them.

As the old saying goes, 'Don't give them fish, teach them to fish.'

As far as the part where you say she is not nice to you? That's easy: boot her out the door. There are lots of kind, gentle Thai women. Haven't met many who aren't.

[NedKelly]

I believe she despises you for paying her........sounds twisted but hey it may be true. think about it.......she meets guys all the time and they start giving her money......she must think of you all as losers. So the underlying psychology could be that she treats you like shit so that you wont fall in love with her.......get it.......she wants the money but not the love.....!! Maybe its her way of protecting you.....who knows......if anyone can see inside the brain of a girl who has to do this for a living and understand what they see.....you a genius !!

[paulfr]

""..... I believe she despises you for paying her........sounds twisted but hey it may be true. think about it.......she meets guys all the time and they start giving her money......she must think of you all as losers. So the underlying psychology could be that she treats you like shit so that you wont fall in love with her.......get it.......she wants the money but not the love.....!! Maybe its her way of protecting you.....who knows...... ""

NedKelly

That is deeply insightful.

If you are right, then maybe she is just tryng to be honest.

"I only want your money, not your love because eventually

I am going to dump you and I really dont want it to hurt you

too much"

But maybe one day she will meet the guy for whom she

would give up the life and the bar. Then will she be able

to love at all ?? Who knows ?? That may be the real curse

of the bargirl's life.

[theviking]

garyinthailand wrote:

I had no problem with giving my girl money. Gave her what she asked for. But the more I gave, the worse I was treated.

You ever had kids?

The reason i asking is because if you give you're kid all it want, eventually it will be spoiled, and just ask for more and more, and when they dont get it, all ###### brakes loose....

Just the same for any lady, bg or not bg.

Who did the wrong thing here?

hmmmm.....

[Crush]

Giving too much too fast is a recipe for disaster in any relationship.

It has nothing to do with being a Thai/Farang relationship, you will get very little respect throwing money at people in any walk of life.

I personally have known some great girls from bars, but i must admit they where certainly not old hands, i guess they change, i guess anybody would in that situation.

I knew a lovely girl in Pattaya, she had just come to town from Sukothai, no English, no drinking or smoking, lovely girl she was. Now 2 years later she is still in Pattaya and has changed completely, she is still lovely, and still my friend, but she has changed a lot.

I guess we all would in the circumstances

Somebody should have grabbed her straight away, but it was not to be.

[Bangkok_Helicopter]

But sounds t me like she has already casteth er spell uponeth you ladd, and when you go back.............ooohhhhhh thats when she'll get you.

As the Thai ladys will say "dont think to much".......

Remember there are sooo many great ladys in Thailand....mai bpen rai..

Medicinebox is spot on.....

[garyinthailand]

Thanks, folks. Hey, 8 replies and nobody actually called me an idiot!

The voting with my feet has already occurred, and this is just post-mortem. Yes, it's what had to be, and glad I got out now rather than later.

Thinking it over, I've concluded my gf's experience was all in playing the guy and being nice in order to collect a good tip at the end of the night (or whatever period). Once I had paid up front and she didn't have prospect of any more sizable gifts for a while, I think she was all at sea and really didn't know what to do. I don't think she hated me, but once the cash was in pocket, she just couldn't keep the act up in the same way.

In retrospect, it was a mistake to enter on an arrangement with her on that basis, but I don't think I could have anticipated that without the experience. We had talked about it all ahead of time like (supposedly) sensible adults, but when it became reality everything was different. Next time, I'll know better.

It's been saddening, because I realley did like her and I'll miss her. I don't think that she's bad people in any way. But it could not go on. Thanks all for your comments and help.

[IamMaiC]

never fails to amaze me get a little tail and then u give up the farm you'll be back sooner or later to her it dosen't matter anyway because she's got another one like you already

[dfwbkk]

As the Thai ladys will say "dont think to much".......

Don tink too mutt!

Feet-voting is on the spot though...

/// dfw

[Dickie]

You're an idiot.

[johnnyk]

I believe she despises you for paying her........sounds twisted but hey it may be true. think about it.......she meets guys all the time and they start giving her money......she must think of you all as losers. So the underlying psychology could be that she treats you like shit so that you wont fall in love with her.......get it.......she wants the money but not the love.....!! Maybe its her way of protecting you.....who knows......if anyone can see inside the brain of a girl who has to do this for a living and understand what they see.....you a genius !!

IMO they don't think that deeply. She just thinks he's a sucker and she has no respect for him.

It happened to me and I think she figured she had nothing to lose, she had the dough so why bother pretending to like me anymore than any other punter.

Still, each case is different, TiT.

[Savage]

I still just can't understand why anyone would do it to themselves!

[duke69]

I've no objection to supporting a girl. I just want to get a good value for my money.

Good value for money: There are some models which require a token (100 Baht) inserted in the p u ss y and you can have her for 2 hours, than you can insert another token and start again.

I herd that you can get some discount if you buy 10 tokens and "Miles and More" will accrue the miles for frequent travellers.

ONLY IN LOS this can happen!!!