gburns57au Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Do not get involved from either side of the fence....it just aint worth it... full stop. a rational advice, but not easy to follow when it concerns the dreams of dear friends. By all means take them there.....or whatever, but when it comes to girls....let them find their own way....watch out for them by all means but dont set them up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abdulrahman Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Do not get involved from either side of the fence....it just aint worth it... full stop. a rational advice, but not easy to follow when it concerns the dreams of dear friends. While I agree with the opnion expressed in this forum(don't get involved,he coseguences could be severe),I am married with an Isaan woman,four years now,we have the usual problems as any other family,but we never imagine to separate. This only to say that someone,a friend of mine,presented my wife to me,she did from the beginning made clear what she expected and what she was ready to accept.I feel happy!And a good new year to all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micksterbs Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) While I agree with the opnion expressed in this forum(don't get involved,he coseguences could be severe),I am married with an Isaan woman,four years now,we have the usual problems as any other family,but we never imagine to separate.This only to say that someone,a friend of mine,presented my wife to me,she did from the beginning made clear what she expected and what she was ready to accept.I feel happy!And a good new year to all! It's always great to hear that someone's happy! Yep, been married just over a year now to a delightful Isan girl. We understand each other to a T and I've never been happier. She knows that I'm not comfortable with requests for farang husbands so I think she filters them out now. We still get the occasional villager approach us when we visit the in-laws but not very often now, thank God. Yep, Happy New Year also! Edited January 3, 2008 by micksterbs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bino Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 both of them are financially VERY well off and both of them are VERY familiar with Thailand If they are retired, familiar with Thailand, and have the means, why not just tell them to get on the plane to come here and find what they want by themselves? Seems like a no-brainer to me.... why do they need your help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaicoon Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) Wife's just off phone to all relatives all over Isarn. In course of conversation many of them have asked for assistance in finding husbands for their daughters. We have had this hinted to us many times over the years. MY sister in law, a very eligible beautiful young woman, has subscribed to internet dating sites and corresponds with about 20 guys, some of whom she has met when they fly over. Her experience to date, she says, is that these guys are really only looking for a partner while they are in Thailand and may be seeing several girls while in Thailand. I have other in laws who are delightful beautiful educated working young women who have also started suggesting to my wife that they would like to marry - a Farang preferred. I have asked my wife why the preference for foreign men and have heard the usual descriptions of Thai men as drunks, lazy, butterflys etc. THE QUESTION is how can I help and indeed should I. I could contact Farangs via web sites (or translate girls messages). But would I be setting them up with weirdos who sound great online. I have suggested to my wife that we have a few live in 'Mia Nois' but she is not too keen and mumbled something about my future surgical needs should I pursue this notion (penis re-attachment). I genuinely would love to introduce these and indeed other suitable women to foreigners with a view to creating Joy and happiness in the world . Having new in-laws with money might be nice too . Any opinions?? Leave well alone, it will lead to disaster, as said in previous post, let them do there own dirty work, i have been asked to do this 1000s of times, did it once, never again, i got blamed for the introduction, as it all went tits up, also i would never bring another mate to Thailand, any problems it comes back to you. Edited January 3, 2008 by Thaicoon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 in their (wet) dreams they have ladies in mind who are well educated, speak fluently several farang languages and are able to conduct a conversation about the present political and economical situation in Europe and the rest of the world. I know one such women, a head nurse at a local hospital, has travelled a lot to europe & switzerland for medical confrences, is very well conversed in world events, is early 40's, raised a diabled child alone (who is now studying at Khon kaen Uni herself) is fluent in English & has conversational german, can cook farang food, as witnessed first hand in her lovely home (steak & spagetti served with the correct & proper western dinner service settings & cultery plus red wine) & is still pretty hot looking in a semi khun ying style (silk suits but no helmet hair...yet) Only spanner in the works...she doesn't like farang men (sexually) & wont put up with the thai losers who sniff around her either so is resignedly single & immersed in her work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonQuest Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 im single let me know^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 both of them are financially VERY well off and both of them are VERY familiar with Thailand If they are retired, familiar with Thailand, and have the means, why not just tell them to get on the plane to come here and find what they want by themselves? Seems like a no-brainer to me.... why do they need your help? you don't seem to understand although you quoted a part of my posting "they are VERY familiar with Thailand". that means they have been to Thailand more than a dozen times, know the bar scene in various parts but have no idea where/how/in what way to meet a mature lady to marry. is it a no-brainer to find in Pat Pong, Pattaya Beach Road or around Nana Plaza what they are looking for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaoPo Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 my position is the other way round. have two farang (german) friends, old geezers in their early sixties like me, who would like to marry a mature thai lady and spend their remaining years in a quiet rural environment (my unfulfilled dream). they are well aware that "love" will play no role in these relationships but have high hopes that for the money they are going to spend they will receive some respect and a minimum of "adequate" treatment in return.both of them lost their wives some years ago, both of them are financially VERY well off and both of them are VERY familiar with Thailand (Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket and Koh Samui) and the easily available "amenities" but that is not what they want. until recently i tried to fend them off with horror stories read in TV-Forum, describing the huge cultural and educational gap... but to no avail. in their (wet) dreams they have ladies in mind who are well educated, speak fluently several farang languages and are able to conduct a conversation about the present political and economical situation in Europe and the rest of the world. when i tell them "NO HABB AND NO CAN DO!" their answer is "then we are willing to reduce our expectations". any old experienced farang hands out there who are willing to render some advice? positive or negative, it does not matter. I have no experience with Thai Ladies but in your friends cases I think it's best to contact a serious agency* in Bangkok who might have matches with a higher education; at the same time I would hire a 'private eye' just for a double check. Apart from that a lot of people (members...) seem to forget that nowadays it's very difficult to have your 'love' emigrate to a(ny) European country because of the very strict laws....I don't know about the US or Oz/NZ. * any special reason for your friends why they wish to meet a mature Thai Lady...? I mean, there are more countries in the Far East... Many years ago I heard about a serious agency in Singapore...maybe check that ? to the OP: I advise you to stay away from matchmaking yourself. It looks easy but if you have no special talent for it, it could become your worst nightmare ! LaoPo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ray23 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Well I will say that it can be done, having finally found theladu who will tolerate me a four years and going. Wasn't easy she didn't speak engkish, I didn't speak Thai, but somehow we got through it. That was an Udon experience not exactly in the sticks, but not Pattaya either. Lost German expats here and several German restuarnat owners. So my guess is they could find a support network in the community. If they can learn to adapt to life in Udon might be easier when they move to the stricks where very few if any will understand them. So my suggestion is to get them to the mid ground for at least a year. At that time they will have found thier own ladies. Then if they want to transfer to life in a real village they will be more prepared. Ther are sevreal palces to take Thai classes here they will need it for thier dream. Make sure they understand to leave thier real money at home for a few years, if they do the chances of them losing all they have will be lessened a lot. It isn't needed here to live a good life anyway. Believe ti op or ot there are still ladies heree that believe of beign taken care of and taking care of thier husbands. But it takes time to find them. Nothing says you can't enjoy life while you are looking. They make friends here, not that hard they will be introduced to ladies by those friends. But the wish list they are asking for isn't realistic. To enjoy thier lives here the first thing that has to happen is for them to adapt. In my case that took at least two years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 * any special reason for your friends why they wish to meet a mature Thai Lady...? LaoPo the simple reason is they would like to live in Thailand. as far as communication (language) is concerned, Thailand is most probably the worst possible "scenario" in Asia apart from China. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Make sure they understand to leave thier real money at home for a few years, if they do the chances of them losing all they have will be lessened a lot. they don't need my advice in this respect. i don't have any friends who are clowns. well... at second thought... one never knows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theyreallrubbish Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Make sure they understand to leave thier real money at home for a few years, if they do the chances of them losing all they have will be lessened a lot. they don't need my advice in this respect. i don't have any friends who are clowns. well... at second thought... one never knows Thai women can make fools of the wisest men Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaoPo Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 * any special reason for your friends why they wish to meet a mature Thai Lady...? LaoPo the simple reason is they would like to live in Thailand. as far as communication (language) is concerned, Thailand is most probably the worst possible "scenario" in Asia apart from China. That's true but my Chinese wife spoke English reasonably well when we met and studied very hard to improve the same and at the same time studied Dutch and succeeded for her exams within 8 months where the Government allows a period of up to 5 years; succeeded for her driver's license as well and set up her own business. So, I'm very proud of her. But apart from that, the Ladies your friends are looking for don't necessarily have to be from Thailand to live there; although it's more simple of course for/with a Thai Lady (no Visa stuff and such) LaoPo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Ther are sevreal palces to take Thai classes here they will need it for thier dream. that's exactly NOT a way they are willing to go and i fully agree with their view. how long does it take for a 60 year old farang to acquire enough thai to have a meaningful conversation besides "what's for dinner? are all members of your family in good health? i think we have to take the dog to the vet. tell the maid the food is too spicy." it's also not the case that they insist to live in the sticks/boonies. all what they want is a place away from tourist areas. they don't agree with my view that it is possible to live in the outskirts of Pattaya without being bothered at all by mass tourism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ray23 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Pretty simple you ask for thoughts I gave them to you, what they do or don't do is not my buisness. The beauty of Thailand is being able to do it anyway that you can afford. Hope it works out for them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blizzard Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 wanting to marry old thai lady just for the sake of marrying old thai lady is clownish in itself......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asiaworld Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 my position is the other way round. have two farang (german) friends, old geezers in their early sixties like me, who would like to marry a mature thai lady and spend their remaining years in a quiet rural environment (my unfulfilled dream). they are well aware that "love" will play no role in these relationships but have high hopes that for the money they are going to spend they will receive some respect and a minimum of "adequate" treatment in return. Well this IS the only way someone can do the matchmaking here ! me thinks .. hab lub/no lub .. doesn't matter . as long as western man can control his spending & be aware of possible loss, those signing 'the disclaimer' can be introduced easily .. Males are less likely to change their minds in general 'well mature ones',that is .. Now since the isaan girls in question already state their reasons for hooking up with a 'whitey' , guess if you have an opportunity to make an introduction no harm may befall you .. Unless u live in the same village that is ... Because what if the bride will not find the ROI(return on investment) sufficient .. Guess who'll be blamed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abdulrahman Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 Ther are sevreal palces to take Thai classes here they will need it for thier dream. that's exactly NOT a way they are willing to go and i fully agree with their view. how long does it take for a 60 year old farang to acquire enough thai to have a meaningful conversation besides "what's for dinner? are all members of your family in good health? i think we have to take the dog to the vet. tell the maid the food is too spicy." it's also not the case that they insist to live in the sticks/boonies. all what they want is a place away from tourist areas. they don't agree with my view that it is possible to live in the outskirts of Pattaya without being bothered at all by mass tourism. Well,not many Thais speak german,I'm sure your friends can manage a understandable english,no more is requested from the woman,based on my experience only,let meet them,no obligation on either part,adults and so forth,it worked for me,maybe....? About ray23,if his Thai is as good as his english Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorkman Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 About ray23,if his Thai is as good as his english Whistle up your own backside if this is the best comment you can add. If you want to comment on perfect English, we can spar. Otherwise let Ray get his incisive and wise posts across to the people who do not nitpick OK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WISteve Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 said more in just...jai yen yen Steve even you, must admit, that there are some wolves up there (and everywhere), however Yes, caution is a good thing on behalf of all concerned. Take a cruise on some of the mongering forums and besides all the stereotypical knocks on the thai ladies (wolves) there are also a whole lot of dreadful people who would enjoy nothing better than a couple weeks of "free stuff" at the expense of a sincere person looking for something other than a casual fling. Some good advice shared by guys on the ground. Thanks guys. -WISteve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ray23 Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Ok guys beating me up on writing skills just won't work I have been around to long and just accept it for what it is. Now the truth is being American I don't speak either of the languages well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abdulrahman Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 About ray23,if his Thai is as good as his english Whistle up your own backside if this is the best comment you can add. If you want to comment on perfect English, we can spar. Otherwise let Ray get his incisive and wise posts across to the people who do not nitpick OK? I'm sorry to go off topic!ray23 could use,for his wide and incisive posts,the spelling check.You could learn manners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave the Dude Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Ok guys beating me up on writing skills just won't work I have been around to long and just accept it for what it is. Now the truth is being American I don't speak either of the languages well Good one Ray I find it funny talking with a South London accent and Thai's copying it Happy New Year Mate David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jazzbo Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 Kuhn Naam -- The unoffical German HQ in Khon Kaen is: http://www.duans-restaurant.com/ -- nice website in German. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naam Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 thanks Jazzbo. perhaps an avenue to explore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatever Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 If my misses asks me to to help any of her friends I tell her that they have to learn how to speak English first. She then tells all of them that whenever they ask and so it doesn't come to me any more. I just don't understand how you could marry someone you cant have a conversation with. If one of her village mates learnt how to speak english then i would definitely help them read between the lines (with these emails) and maybe even vet then on arrival and go for a beer with them see what they like and what they're after. better i hepled and did that than letting them go it alone and have them find the wrong guy. Plus you don't want an idiot joining your village. and if you met up with him you could explain what he has in store for him and he might find its not for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorkman Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 (edited) If my misses asks me to to help any of her friends I tell her that they have to learn how to speak English first. She then tells all of them that whenever they ask and so it doesn't come to me any more. I just don't understand how you could marry someone you cant have a conversation with.If one of her village mates learnt how to speak english then i would definitely help them read between the lines (with these emails) and maybe even vet then on arrival and go for a beer with them see what they like and what they're after. better i hepled and did that than letting them go it alone and have them find the wrong guy. Plus you don't want an idiot joining your village. and if you met up with him you could explain what he has in store for him and he might find its not for him. Well its super that you can help. Dr Naam has better English, and he is is nasty Kraut Edited January 10, 2008 by yorkman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyGun Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Dont play matchmaker - only can lead to disaster. Let them find their own gf/bf. Agreed. If it turns out to be a financial, or dissaster of some sort, you will be the one to blame. Im not speaking from experience of course! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Walshe Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 Sister in-law spedning inordinate time on internet. Gets about 10 new guys contacting her everyday. That's on top of the 150 she has shortlisted. Seems like a fantasy world to me. The more she chats with these guys the less likely is she to marry some local guy with a local job and a Honda dream. On the oher hand she needs to find someone who 1. Is a good honest caring guy. 2. Not too ugly or old. 3. Educated 4. Good income. 5. Willing to move to Thailand. 6. Willing to then settle in Village where little or anything happens, he doesn't speak the language, different food, climate, Visa laws, wel you know the rest. I know what it's like to live in Village in rural Isarn and it suits me fine. It seems highly unlikely that internet dating could/does work. and yet many local girls have had guys fly over from Europe get married, they fly back and girl follows thereafter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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