Golf Yarn

[gregybn]

Don't confuse old with stupid!

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their

weekly round of golf. Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful

young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.

She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a

round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio

whether she could join them.

Naturally, the guys all agreed.

Smiling,the blonde thanked them and said, "Look, fellows, I work

in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of

you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-color

stories or do any thing that you normally do when playing a round

together, go ahead.

But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots."

With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.

All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent to place

her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270

yards down the middle, right in front of the green.

The father's mouth was agape. "That was beautiful," he said.

The blonde put her driver away and said, "I really didn't get into it, and I faded it a little."

After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the

blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of

the hole.

(She was closest to the pin.)

The son said, "dam_n, lady, you played that perfectly."

The blonde frowned and said, "It was a little weak, but even an

easy seven would have been too much club. I've left a tricky little

putt." She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.

Having the honours, she drove first on the second hole, knocked

the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in

the middle of the fairway.

For the rest of

the round the statuesque blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly

and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.

When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under

par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.

She turned to the three guys and said, "I really want to thank you

all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club

to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd

really like to break 70 on this course.

If

any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I'll take him

back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill

Scotch in him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good

time the rest of the night."

The yuppie son

jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eyeing

the line of the putt and finallysaid, "Honey, aim about 6 inches to the

right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump

and break right into the cup."

The father

knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb. "Don't

listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the

right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into

the cup."

The old gray-haired grandfather

walked over to the blonde's ball, picked it up and handed it to her and

said, "That's a gimme, sweetheart."

The blonde smiled and said, "Your car or mine?"