Blonde Jokes

[Chris Lawrence]

A married couple were asleep when the telephone rang at two in the morning. The wife (who's blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a moment and said, "How the hel_l should I know? It's about 200 miles away" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear!"

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the pavement and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You fool...it's me!"

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She turns up at his flat and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a red head. The blonde is livid. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she has a change of mind. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up! You're next!"

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. Devastated, she telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the Blonde sat on the porch, shook her head at the sight of the policeman and his dog, and then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "What's this world coming to? I come home to find my house trashed and all my possessions taken. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a "BLIND Policeman"