Wife Jokes

[AltumAngel]

 A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."

 A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

 Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

 My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

 My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

 A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

 I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."

 The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

 When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

 I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

 My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

 Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

 Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

 It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

 Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

 Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

 The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once