Thai Girls Abroad

[gbt71fa]

How long is a piece of string? How many crumbs in a loaf of bread? No way to speculate....

couldn't you just measure the piece of string....sorry, putting too much thought into it...

[jukapot]

Gimbo wrote “And at last, spoke with an American expat at the visa line in Vientiane last week. He had been married with his Thai wife for 32 years, and him working in many countries around the world. As he said, she went everywhere with me, and never complained. So now we have moved back to Thailand...”

This story really hit home and could almost be mine. I married my Issan wife in Vientiane 36 years ago. We too have traveled to many countries around the world and she has always gone every where with me . The only time she complained was we had to leave a country for a new assignment. She has easily adopted to new countries, friends and even learned several languages including Arabic. It was amazing to see this woman from very humble background attend diplomatic functions and dinner with complete self confidence. We met others too who have had this same experience. Other Thai, Lao and Vietnamese women have also adopted and enjoyed life as an expat.

We are very happy in the states and we hope to move back to Nongkhai near my wife’s family. I need a warmer climate and cheaper living my wife like the cold. Unfortunately health problems are causing us to rethink our plans. Hopefully we will at least be spending 2-3 months a year there.

If I may add, there is absolutely no divorce with in my circle of friends married to Thai wives. We all married good women with strong family. values. The Thai women I see back here who are divorced often met their husbands in bars. I don’t condemn these women, but bars are just not the best place to find a wife. I also believe the husband is as often the blame as the wife for the marriage breakup.

It will be strange when I return Thailand and go to Vientiane to renew my Visa. We used to live immediately behind the Thai Embassy and shared a common back wall with them. I once upset my Thai friends when they heard me say that the Thai Embassy was behind my house. I was quickly corrected and told that I lived behind the Embassy, not the other way around.

[zorro1]

Untill you tell her to bugger off. IMO there are many endearing qualities in Thai woman that are very different to the local girls back home and lets face it the majority here came for the girls. Remember how she use to fetch your beer, clip your nails, dance around that pole you had installed in your condo? That will stop when she meets her new frarang Girlfriends. So at some stage you too will have to re asses

[Neeranam]

Generally they hate it but the money makes it bearable.

[howtoescape]

I think the term Thai Girls is a little condescending, all the Thai WOMEN, I have known in America have done very well. Probably adapted a lot better than an American husband in Thailand. Believe me they are not little girls.

I think the term Thai WOMEN, is a little condescending, but you can use it as often as you want becuse we live in a society with free speech, comrade.

[Dakhar]

Un-known to me, the wife hated the states. It must have been the long time I spent away from her... 7 - 8 hours a day 5 days a week

Or it must have been the big house we owned, or maybe the yard she never had to worry about keeping. Or maybe it was the large amount of money (6 figures) I was earning. I guess counting it all got to be a bother. Or maybe the fact that she had her own car and had to drive it was a bother? Or maybe it was the fact she did not have to work, or the fact you can not buy pepsi in a bottle that really angered her. She suffered such hard ships for 5 years.

I don't know. what it was... but here we are in the swamp, BKK the armpit of Asia. Hope she is happy now?

[gunnyd]

I think that all of it depends on two things: Is there a community of women from her home country where she lives. And is all of her family back in her home country.

Though I am not married to a Thai, being married to a Filipina most likely is about the same. My wife took some time adjusting after we moved from Anaheim, CA to my house in Arizona. I think mainly it is because there are so many Asians in SoCal. But I did noticed that it became much easier for her when we got half of her immediate family to the states.

It's all how you deal with it. We make a yearly pilgrimage to the homeland and have some property in Cebu and that works well for us. Also we actually have a decent loving relationship. We met in the U.S. not the Philippines which I am sure makes a difference. Some SEA women marry a Westerner to get out of their impoverished country/living conditions only to find out that where they are going isn't the paradise that they saw on TV and the movies.

Just my 2 centavos, Salamat Po,

GunnyD

[Austhaied]

My wife couldn't wait to get out of Australia after only 10 days. I take that as a good sign, because i can't stand it either.

[BigSnake]

Most are very happy in their host country, however they love to make frequent trip home(ie home sick), so if you take your lady budget for a few trip home.

[Dakhar]

I sent my wife home for 3 months out of the year and took 3 week vacations to Thailand together. So she got to spend around 4 months of the year next to mommy.

I have been here in the armpit now for 2 years, and I don't see a trip home until my 3 year here.... hmmm, somethings smells.

and we met in the states....

[huggybear]

Hi All,

I was wondering if anyone can shed some light as to how long thai a wife or girlfriend remains in the country of their foreign husband or boyfriend before wanting to return to Thailand permanently.

Cheers

I return to the U.S. for a few weeks every year and CAN"T WAIT to get back to Thailand. If I'd rather be here I'm sure a Thai person would rather be here too......

[upcountryboy]

Hi All

Thanks for your replies and yes it was an open ended question for which I do apologise. I am considering taking my Thai girlfriend to the UK and was trying to get some idea of how my other half might fare in a colder country. I realise that it is up to me as well and of my endeavours to make life comfortable for her ( food, possible thai expat community, friends, contact with her mom and daughter etc ) and also about the reasons for the relationship.

Thank you everyone

[pgs]

Her Thainess has now been in Oz about 3.5 years. Last year she went home for 3 months. 2 months in, she started asking when she could come back to Oz. Seems someone has gotten use to having a stove, oven, microwave, washing machine, electric blanket... all the useful things not many houses in the village have - if any.

Not sure how much use electric blankets would be in Thailand... unless you live up in the mountains.

She (also a tad older than I) feels the cold something bad. We have had some noticably cold nights in Chaiyaphum over the years.

Mostly, she's adapted quite well & has a few friends of various nationalities. Happy enough using the (joke) public transport system in Sydney alone, although we will do maps showing where she's going & where the trains are. She did 2 solo trips to the city to see the Queen Elizabeth & Queen Mary when they were here.

It's interesting how quickly the 'luxury items' become essentials. Admittedly, I will require a decent oven there at some point, but whether we build an outdoor brick type or get an electic microwave/convection is still a consideration

[Pakboong]

My Thai wife of 33 years, estranged for the last 1ast 17, lives in the US, I live in Thailand.

[Heng]

My mother and father (a Thai girl and a Thai boy) stayed in the US for 30+ years before moving home to Thailand in their 60's. They seemed to like/love it while they were there, but don't go back to visit at all (while myself and my siblings do go back for occasional visits).

[farang prince]

Hi All,

I was wondering if anyone can shed some light as to how long thai a wife or girlfriend remains in the country of their foreign husband or boyfriend before wanting to return to Thailand permanently.

Cheers

After spending six years living six months in the USA and six months in Thailand, I now can't get my Thai partner to leave the USA. Don't know if that is reflection about her getting comfortable with the USA (the customs and the language), or that life in LOS ain't what it used to be.

Edited March 13, 2008 by farang prince

[submaniac]

Wow. I think this is an interesting topic, and I would have to chime in with the chorus that says "It all depends". Really depends on the woman. Depends on how good her English is, how strong her family ties are, how her husband is, and whether she has a job or has to sit around in Farangland all day at home watch English language television.

I think there is a misconception that Thai women are poor and desparate to leave Thailand which is the conception of people--i.e. "white trash"-- who don't know anything in the West. Of course I think everyone on this board KNOWS better because everyone here is familiar with Thailand and the culture. Thai pay is definately lower than in farangland, but the cost of living is also lower so that it doesn't take much to get by.

I don't think that any Thai woman is "desparate" to leave her country. But that also does not mean that she wouldn't 'make the sacrifice' given the right set of circumstances, such as meeting the right partner. I can say that both of my cousins, who are both women, single, and in the United States right now, never planned on leaving Thailand forever. They have been here 6 years and 3 years respectively. Their plan was to come to the United States for education, work and save money so they could buy stuff in Thailand (like a car and perhaps a house). They both like the United States, but are not so 'in love' with it that they want to never return to Thailand. (Of course that may change if they found the right man...but no one knows the future.)

There has been a common thread in the 'ex pat Thais" that I have come accross, many of whom have been in the U.S. for decades: they originally just planned to come to the U.S. where the wages were higher, just so they could earn money, save it, and return to Thailand. Of course, some have been in the U.S. for 20-30 years. But even those Thais want to retire and return to Thailand.

I can also say that my personal 'feelings' are that, compared to Thailand, life in Farangland is just way boring. In the U.S., you go to work, come home, and occasionally hang with your friends on the weekend or whenever you have time. In Thailand, "work", even during 'workweek days and hours' is secondary to just hanging out. Even at work (and I have worked in Thailand at a law firm), people really care more about 'hanging out' than getting things done. That is the Thai work ethic, and I am proud of it!

Just look outside the Soi's in the evening, and you just see people hanging out, talking to each other, eating and doing whatever. Every Thai has a huge network of friends and family, and everyone in the neighborhood knows each other (and each other's business). Compare that to the U.S. where I don't know my neighbors though I lived next to them for 8 years! In the U.S. everyone is so isolated, whereas in Thailand there is such a huge social network. It is really a hard sell to ask any woman to give that up.

[isabelle17]

Wow. I think this is an interesting topic, and I would have to chime in with the chorus that says "It all depends". Really depends on the woman. Depends on how good her English is, how strong her family ties are, how her husband is, and whether she has a job or has to sit around in Farangland all day at home watch English language television.

I think there is a misconception that Thai women are poor and desparate to leave Thailand which is the conception of people--i.e. "white trash"-- who don't know anything in the West. Of course I think everyone on this board KNOWS better because everyone here is familiar with Thailand and the culture. Thai pay is definately lower than in farangland, but the cost of living is also lower so that it doesn't take much to get by.

I don't think that any Thai woman is "desparate" to leave her country. But that also does not mean that she wouldn't 'make the sacrifice' given the right set of circumstances, such as meeting the right partner. I can say that both of my cousins, who are both women, single, and in the United States right now, never planned on leaving Thailand forever. They have been here 6 years and 3 years respectively. Their plan was to come to the United States for education, work and save money so they could buy stuff in Thailand (like a car and perhaps a house). They both like the United States, but are not so 'in love' with it that they want to never return to Thailand. (Of course that may change if they found the right man...but no one knows the future.)

There has been a common thread in the 'ex pat Thais" that I have come accross, many of whom have been in the U.S. for decades: they originally just planned to come to the U.S. where the wages were higher, just so they could earn money, save it, and return to Thailand. Of course, some have been in the U.S. for 20-30 years. But even those Thais want to retire and return to Thailand.

I can also say that my personal 'feelings' are that, compared to Thailand, life in Farangland is just way boring. In the U.S., you go to work, come home, and occasionally hang with your friends on the weekend or whenever you have time. In Thailand, "work", even during 'workweek days and hours' is secondary to just hanging out. Even at work (and I have worked in Thailand at a law firm), people really care more about 'hanging out' than getting things done. That is the Thai work ethic, and I am proud of it!

Just look outside the Soi's in the evening, and you just see people hanging out, talking to each other, eating and doing whatever. Every Thai has a huge network of friends and family, and everyone in the neighborhood knows each other (and each other's business). Compare that to the U.S. where I don't know my neighbors though I lived next to them for 8 years! In the U.S. everyone is so isolated, whereas in Thailand there is such a huge social network. It is really a hard sell to ask any woman to give that up.

I agree with you on that! I am back in the US for a couple months right now and I can tell you that it is easier (just because everyone speaks English and my family is here) than it is back in Thailand, but it is wayyyy boring. And socially, I feel that everyone here doesn't really give you the time of day. Whereas in thailand most people are relatively friendly, easy going, and very social. I miss that! And I am sure that if someones thai spouse came to farangland and had never been there before, they might find it fairly boring if they have nothing to do there and no one to really socialize with.

being bored leads to homesickness...so I would say that you should make sure that your spouse feels that they have something they can do while they are there. I know that my thai boyfriend would have a really hard time in the US. He likes the "idea" of the US, but I know him well enough to know that he would end up missing his family, home, and I dont think he would like the work ethic in the US so much. Its not so laid back here.

[distortedlink]

I first met my Thai wife in London, England. She obtained a visa because her brother lives in the UK married to an English woman. We married in England 1987.

For a while my wife worked at a patisserie in London owned by a Swiss who mainly employed young Thai female staff. He always gave the best looking girls an option to live in his many apartments free of charge.

In time I discovered that most of my wife's Thai friends were able to remain and work in England indefinitely because they had paid a standard fee of £2000 to £3000 to an underground Thai agency with farang partners operating in the UK for arranged marriages of convenience. After 2 years the girls applied for a quickie divorce. All they had to do was get the so-called husband to sign and agree and that was it. If the girl lost contact with the marriage partner, she just got someone else to forge a signature on the divorce agreement.

The scam worked like this:

The agency would arrange for the Thai girl to enter England mainly London as a student of English language at specially chosen English language schools around London. The girl paid the agency £3000. This included the agency fee, airfare and 1 year school fee. Once in the UK on a 1-year student visa, the girl worked at specially selected work places as cheap labour and the school created bogus records that she was in attendance learning English language.

Before the 1 year visa was up, the agency would arrange a marriage of convenience to a British subject for another fee of between 2 to 3 thousand pounds. After 2 years a quickie divorce and she could stay in the UK forever.

Once established in Britain many Thai girls gained connections with corrupt home office and council officials who were then given council accommodation in prime London locations, such as Covent Garden and able to claim social security benefits, while working cash in hand. With the government's right to buy scheme, they could later purchase the council property at a bargain price, raking in huge profits. Some moved on to becoming front owners of Thai restaurants, enabling them to bring over more Thais as employees with work permits. Once in, these girls could be used for any purpose.

At the time these girls were always on the look out for mugs to marry them as a favour so as to give permanent residence in Britain. Some guys fell for the con.

These scammers were reported, but the metropolitan police gave this low priority and only very few were ever deported.

I know now of Thai women living in London, who would prefer to return to Thailand, but have young children, living in council accommodation, on social security benefits and stay in Britain for this reason.

At the time I was appalled by this, my wife and I worked out guts out to achieve what we have now. I wanted to report these people, but knowing who was involved, including drug dealers, pimps and corrupt officials, I was worried about repercussions and thought it best to stay out of it.

This was all in the late 1980s, early 1990s. Since than the Thai economy is much improved for Thais, but I am sure this practice still continues, but maybe these days for other nationalities of poorer third world countries.

Edited March 13, 2008 by distortedlink

[TheDon]

I met my Thai wife in Sydney about 6 years ago while she was doing her masters in Uni, While we were BF/GF she got her permanent visa and just got married last year and she loves it here, she has a great job (even makes more then me now) and she wants to stay here and buy a house, she has made lots of friends from all nationalities too.

But the thing is I want to move to Thailand.

[ade100]

Temperatures for anyone who's born and bred in the tropics is a killer. I think you can get cold to a degree (Bone cold) where no amount of thermal underware, roaring log fires or electric blankets will suffice.

The coldest I have ever been in my life has been in Thailand. Getting used to the cold has been one of the biggest problems for me. I was doing some training in an office in Bangkok - jeez I thought I was seriously going to die of hyperthermia. I had lost the use of at least two of my fingers when I decided to go to MBK and buy woolly jumpers, scarves, gloves and woolly hat. I was sitting there in the office looking like I was on a skiing trip. If Thais can cope with that, Europe is a piece of cake.

[pampal]

Temperatures for anyone who's born and bred in the tropics is a killer. I think you can get cold to a degree (Bone cold) where no amount of thermal underware, roaring log fires or electric blankets will suffice.

The coldest I have ever been in my life has been in Thailand. Getting used to the cold has been one of the biggest problems for me. I was doing some training in an office in Bangkok - jeez I thought I was seriously going to die of hyperthermia. I had lost the use of at least two of my fingers when I decided to go to MBK and buy woolly jumpers, scarves, gloves and woolly hat. I was sitting there in the office looking like I was on a skiing trip. If Thais can cope with that, Europe is a piece of cake.

[MengWan]

I sent my wife home for 3 months out of the year and took 3 week vacations to Thailand together. So she got to spend around 4 months of the year next to mommy.

I have been here in the armpit now for 2 years, and I don't see a trip home until my 3 year here.... hmmm, somethings smells.

and we met in the states....

I see a great similarity, maybe there's a pattern here !

In my case we were living in Chinatown (Paris France), so it was definitely not the food she was missing ...

Family bonds seemed stronger in my wife's case, compared to mine.

Plane tickets were a lot cheaper too, now I prefer to buy me a top computer than go back visit the land-of-the-expensive.

[darklightmatter]

IMO for what it is worth: these particular women do not give a hoot about climate or anything else all they want is to get out of a male dominating society, a place where they are undermined and abused, a place where poverty is rife. A place where all they can get for a husband is rubbish, very poor rubbish.

So yes if they live in a rich country they are outstandingly happy.

Take a look at

If they can get to a country where they can be treated as an equal and work hard and make a decent living then they are not home sick or whatever they are like pigs in shit.

All this 'I am cold' and that and 'I feel homesick' is all crap. These girls play with one's mind to make you (the male) to do what they want.

They are a bunch of manipulating liars who are taking the piss out of all you guys.

The human body is a very versatile thing it can acclimatise itself.

My ex-bitch Thai crap wife came to the UK and within three months was rolling around in the snow laughing her head off, she was not cold. I wanted her to wear socks as I was being concerned about her health; she did not give a toss. She was wearing skimpy cloths in the middle of winter walking down the wet cold rainy street thinking it all a joke. I felt very embarrassed it looked liked I'd just picked up this tart from a night club.

Also as soon as she met other Thai women she was happy as hel_l.

Even though I have divorced her and she does not have an ILR. She still has absolutely no intention of going back home to see her ma and pa. Once over here they will not budge.

From what I have read on this post it makes me think you guys are being made a fool of. IMHO

[LaoPo]

Wow. I think this is an interesting topic, and I would have to chime in with the chorus that says "It all depends". Really depends on the woman. Depends on how good her English is, how strong her family ties are, how her husband is, and whether she has a job or has to sit around in Farangland all day at home watch English language television.

I think there is a misconception that Thai women are poor and desparate to leave Thailand which is the conception of people--i.e. "white trash"-- who don't know anything in the West. Of course I think everyone on this board KNOWS better because everyone here is familiar with Thailand and the culture. Thai pay is definately lower than in farangland, but the cost of living is also lower so that it doesn't take much to get by.

I don't think that any Thai woman is "desparate" to leave her country. But that also does not mean that she wouldn't 'make the sacrifice' given the right set of circumstances, such as meeting the right partner. I can say that both of my cousins, who are both women, single, and in the United States right now, never planned on leaving Thailand forever. They have been here 6 years and 3 years respectively. Their plan was to come to the United States for education, work and save money so they could buy stuff in Thailand (like a car and perhaps a house). They both like the United States, but are not so 'in love' with it that they want to never return to Thailand. (Of course that may change if they found the right man...but no one knows the future.)

There has been a common thread in the 'ex pat Thais" that I have come accross, many of whom have been in the U.S. for decades: they originally just planned to come to the U.S. where the wages were higher, just so they could earn money, save it, and return to Thailand. Of course, some have been in the U.S. for 20-30 years. But even those Thais want to retire and return to Thailand.

I can also say that my personal 'feelings' are that, compared to Thailand, life in Farangland is just way boring. In the U.S., you go to work, come home, and occasionally hang with your friends on the weekend or whenever you have time. In Thailand, "work", even during 'workweek days and hours' is secondary to just hanging out. Even at work (and I have worked in Thailand at a law firm), people really care more about 'hanging out' than getting things done. That is the Thai work ethic, and I am proud of it!

Just look outside the Soi's in the evening, and you just see people hanging out, talking to each other, eating and doing whatever. Every Thai has a huge network of friends and family, and everyone in the neighborhood knows each other (and each other's business). Compare that to the U.S. where I don't know my neighbors though I lived next to them for 8 years! In the U.S. everyone is so isolated, whereas in Thailand there is such a huge social network. It is really a hard sell to ask any woman to give that up.

Interesting...

You're not the first Thai I encounter on TV who is talking about studying in the US.

However, I wonder what happened with the 'old fashioned' rule amongst Royalty and hi-so Thai families to send their children abroad to study in Europe....especially Switzerland (languages !), but also England and France (French is still a major diplomatic language) for instance.

Almost every hi-so -rich or even wealthy- family in Europe, the US, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina etc. send their children for education to Switzerland. The many contacts and international friends they make there are of an importance to their future network, not to be neglected.

When they're finished with their education they speak at least two or three foreign languages.

Why did your family/families choose the US.... ?

The universities in Europe are certainly not on a lower level, au contraire...

I think it's a missed chance.

I hear and read from you and other Thai who studied in the US that they studied/learned and experienced a lot (but I think you just 'experienced' a small part of American culture and country...).

As far as I can remember I didn't hear anybody so far talk about his/her study in Europe........APART from our 'own' BambinA.

Go, see and experience for yourself ! There is more than the US and Thailand.....

LaoPo

[villagefarang]

I figure a very general question deserves a very general answer. From personal experience the Thai girls who are able to adjust and make it over that first period of discomfort, while finding something to do with their lives, often don't find much to go home to. They like to visit family but find their perspective on life changes.

[rikpa]

I can also say that my personal 'feelings' are that, compared to Thailand, life in Farangland is just way boring. In the U.S., you go to work, come home, and occasionally hang with your friends on the weekend or whenever you have time. In Thailand, "work", even during 'workweek days and hours' is secondary to just hanging out. Even at work (and I have worked in Thailand at a law firm), people really care more about 'hanging out' than getting things done. That is the Thai work ethic, and I am proud of it!

Just look outside the Soi's in the evening, and you just see people hanging out, talking to each other, eating and doing whatever. Every Thai has a huge network of friends and family, and everyone in the neighborhood knows each other (and each other's business). Compare that to the U.S. where I don't know my neighbors though I lived next to them for 8 years! In the U.S. everyone is so isolated, whereas in Thailand there is such a huge social network. It is really a hard sell to ask any woman to give that up.

Wow submaniac, you just nailed it! My ex-wife is Khmer, but similar circumstances. She came to live with me in NYC, 2 blocks from Central Park in a tony neighborhood, had all the trappings, but utterly hated it, for exactly the reasons you just enumerated. And frankly, I hated it too, which is why I am so happy to be back in LOS (and Cambodia) and just getting on with life.

As you related, I never saw my neighbors (they were all too busy working just to keep their apartments), there was no sort of community, and no concept whatsoever of sanook. I am so happy to be back here!

I don't speak Thai so it's a bit harder for me when I'm in Thailand, but in Cambodia I can plop down and shoot the shit with anyone and the aspect of hanging out is so sublime, from a human perspective, that I can't imagine how folks in the USA ever manage to get on without this. Oh, I forgot, they DON'T! They, mostly, seem utterly miserable, net-net (compared to the Khmers I know, based on living in NYC among the so-called elite). All the psychiological "dysfunction", the Prozac, the therapy. It's astonishing what lacking deep roots and social connections (and sanook) can do to people!

This observation has been borne out in so many ways, and I am happy my luuk-kreung daughter is now living in Cambodia vs. the Upper West Side of Manhattan, because she is so much bloody happier, plugged into her family network and culture. She has told me she has no wish to abandon Angkor and "apsaras" and all her cultural heritage for strip-malls and McDonald's, and loves playing in her grandmom's rural village with all the kids and just living, as kids should.

Things here operate at a human scale (well, outside of Bangkok), not at some insane pace where the only goal is accumulation of status and chits on a computer screen, at the expense of the enjoyment of day-to-day life and family and friends. My ex wife completely tired of the USA after 4 years and recently returned to her village near Siem Reap (and only just returned to the USA for a bit to maintain her green card status to keep her options open), and fully intends on staying in Cambo for life.