Raising Another Man's Child

[Dr. Burrito]

Seems like a lot of the people on this and other boards regarding Thailand have fallen in love with and are either married or co-habitating with a Thai girl who already has a child.

Do the majority of these kids have a Thai or farang father?

The children almost all have Thai fathers and the girls are almost all former whores.

Exactly how do you define a whore?

Given the moniker its possible he has quite a few on his list

[Gazza]

I had no qualms about bringing up another man's child because that wasn't the way that I looked at it. I was bringing up my wife's child. A child that she bore, cared for and loved dearly. To me, my step-daughter was part of my wife and so never once thought of her as an optional extra, something that I could 'take it or leave it'.

My step-daughter never knew or saw her real father so maybe it was easier for

both of us to accept each other. Although it did take a good few weeks before she accepted me, because at first I used to catch her peeping at me from around corners or looking at me with a quizzical expression on her face. After that shy phase, there then came a stage where she seemed to resent me and became jealous if I showed any affection to my wife. During this period she would ocassionally throw things at me, nothing sharp thankfully, but I just let it pass and didn't mention anything to my wife. I knew nothing about child psychology or child rearing so I didn't know how I should've been handling things and figured that l'd just give her the time to adjust to me.

Then one day, while attending the Fire Boat Festival in Nakhorn Phanom, she just slipped her hand into mine while we were walking ahead of my wife and her friend. That was when I knew that I'd been accepted and I could then seriously start thinking about having children of my own.

I don't have any issues with guys who can't accept step-children as their own as we're all brought up differently to one another. Saying that though, I don't know how guys can raise a family back in their own countries while they have a step-child possibly being taken care of by relatives in a poor corner of Isaan or somewhere. I often wonder what psychological hang-ups the poor kid would have knowing that they have a step-brother/sister as well as a mother living a nice life in farangland.

Anyway, I've also got two children of my own now. A boy and a girl. All three get the same amount of love as each other and there are no favourites. In the past, I've only had to remind my step-daughter twice that the extra caring that I give to her brother and sister has nothing to do with love or affection, but it's because that they are younger and so need more attention.

I've never had any regrets taking on a step-child. Just hearing her calling me 'daddy' alone can sometimes lift me up way higher than cloud nine and makes me think that it's all been worth it.

[kat]

Wow, that's awesome. You sound like a brilliant father, and inherently wise about children and individuals.

I was one of those kids whose father was raising other kids while I was cast aside. Well, in a way; I'm adopted, but, it's a long story. All I can say is even if your own blood children are younger, find a way to give the older child equal but pertinent attention. But I'm sure you're already on this, because you seem to have a natural instinct anyway.

[katyusha]

The children almost all have Thai fathers and the girls are almost all former whores.

Exactly how do you define a whore?

The raghead troll knows what he's talking about Kat. When he thinks about his 7 brothers and sisters by 3,128 different possible fathers, the image of a whore immediately springs to his mind.

[Gazza]

Exactly how do you define a whore?

The raghead troll knows what he's talking about Kat. When he thinks about his 7 brothers and sisters by 3,128 different possible fathers, the image of a whore immediately springs to his mind.

Now that's what I call damned funny.

[katyusha]

Then one day, while attending the Fire Boat Festival in Nakhorn Phanom, she just slipped her hand into mine while we were walking ahead of my wife and her friend.

Just hearing her calling me 'daddy' alone can sometimes lift me up way higher than cloud nine and makes me think that it's all been worth it.

That is just so beautiful.

[stroll]

What was the movie called in which Arnold Schwarzenegger became pregnant?

[katyusha]

Mohammed Al Pasha was deposed in July 1848 on account of mental weakness...

His mental weakness was a side effect of his overwhelming obsession with being anally penetrated. He suffered from severe diverticulitis in later life, and died in extreme agony when his colon was ruptured during anal sex in August 1849.

[Jeff1]

The children almost all have Thai fathers and the girls are almost all former whores.

What the F was that ?? There is something wrong with you boy .

My wife has 4 children ! ( not a whore either ) Her husband took one baby and split to China for good ( I hope ) I can not have children so the three that I now have are a true blessing . I love them as they are my own . And they love me . Nothing better in the whole world .

[Boo]

Mohammed has now been given a holiday from thaivisa to learn some manners & the proper conduct when talking about the fairer of the sex

[davethailand]

Mohammed has now been given a holiday from thaivisa to learn some manners & the proper conduct when talking about the fairer of the sex

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

nice one Boo.

[Gazza]

Wow, that's awesome.  You sound like a brilliant father, and inherently wise about children and individuals.

But I'm sure you're already on this, because you seem to have a natural instinct anyway.

Kat, I'm sorry but I don't consider myself a good father nor even a good husband. I have faults at being both but I just try the best that I can regardless.

My step-daughter was turning into a six year old when I first met her and I've watched her blossom into a fine young lady. She's 21 now and she seems to be at an awkward age because she still behaves like a 15-16 year old teenager at times, and yet at other times she acts responsibly and maturely like a young adult.

So I'm trying to bring out more of the mature side of her while still allowing her the freedom and independence to do or be as she wishes.

And to think that I still have the grand-daddy stage to come.

[BoomBoom]

she still behaves like a 15-16 year old teenager at times,

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

not totally unheard of

[SK1972]

What was the movie called in which Arnold Schwarzenegger became pregnant?

Stroll............the movie is called "Twins" with Danny Devito...........P/S I am not an Arnie fan!!!

[pete66]

fwiw, I have raised my thai step-daughter since she was 2 years old. I will never forget the look of horror on her face when she first saw her mum had brought a farang to see her!

But since about 3 months after that, things have been great. She is now 13 and every bit a normal Thai teenager. Our relationship is slightly more 'friends' than father-daugther, but that's cool as well. Her real dad takes no interest in her (his loss) so that saves one complication.

But to anyone wondering whether being a step-parent is to be avoided, I would say "go for it". I would recommend raising a child to anyone, whether they are biologically 'yours' or not. You miss the birth bit, but that might be a bonus for many blokes

[Dr. Burrito]

I'm not usually a big pushover, but this thread has been more positive than I had hoped. Sounds like a lot of men who have come here have opened more than their wallets, they've opened their hearts as well.

Part of what prompted me to start this thread was seeing myh friends take up the same reins in America and doing it so well. Salvaging a positive from a negative in this manner is possible something that deserves the highest credit and is well worth applauding.

My hat is off to several of you gentlemen.

[davethailand]

I'm not usually a big pushover, but this thread has been more positive than I had hoped. Sounds like a lot of men who have come here have opened more than their wallets, they've opened their hearts as well.

Part of what prompted me to start this thread was seeing myh friends take up the same reins in America and doing it so well. Salvaging a positive from a negative in this manner is possible something that deserves the highest credit and is well worth applauding.

My hat is off to several of you gentlemen.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

well put Dr Burrito

[Spee]

Seems like a lot of the people on this and other boards regarding Thailand have fallen in love with and are either married or co-habitating with a Thai girl who already has a child.

Do the majority of these kids have a Thai or farang father?

Experiences, observations, opinions? Do you sometimes wish you had a support group for your unique experience?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My fiancee' was married to a Thai man who is also the father of their daughter. He was killed in a traffic accident three months after the baby was born, so her daughter has never known a father. The plan is that I will adopt her after we are married.

As far as a support group goes, I don't know if that is necessary at this point, or if it ever will be. However, this forum is a pretty good support group for most of the questions I've had so far.

[IamMaiC]

Sorry to hear that Katyusha.......

In my opinion it is not a family without them.

IamMaic.........never knew you were a softie....... and a little old fashioned....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am old fashioned also a big softie sometimes except when someone decides to shoot at me My Dad didn't have to do what he did, I'm glad he did. I am not a perfect human being but i try to be.

I was in iraq for eighteen months and i saw the kids over there, I thought the conditions in thailand were bad. It's the ritz carlton compared to iraq. The kids were scared of me "Big Bad American" they use to say. after a while they got use to us.

One thing i will never forget when we rolled into one town children ran out to see us, One said "You go kill saddam now" What could i say?? I said we will try. the kids looked older than they were even though in little bodies.

I know the US did the right thing even though some people disagree but those are people that wait along the sideline until things get better on their own instead of doing something about it.

[dfwbkk]

Anyway, I've also got two children of my own now. A boy and a girl. All three get the same amount of love as each other and there are no favourites. In the past, I've only had to remind my step-daughter twice that the extra caring that I give to her brother and sister has nothing to do with love or affection, but it's because that they are younger and so need more attention.

I've never had any regrets taking on a step-child. Just hearing her calling me 'daddy' alone can sometimes lift me up way higher than cloud nine and makes me think that it's all been worth it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm in pretty much the exact same situation. But, my step-daughter was only 6 months old when I met my wife. We now also have a boy (15 months) and a girl (2 weeks). Step-daughter is very much "daddy's girl". Birth dad (my wife's child-hood boyfriend) is an OK guy. Their break-up (during the pregnancy) was mainly her fault. Met him a couple of times and he takes on the kid whenever we're back in Thailand (we're living in the US). She calls him "paw" and me daddy...love her to death...she's turning 4 now.

/// dfw

[IamMaiC]

What was the movie called in which Arnold Schwarzenegger became pregnant?

Stroll............the movie is called "Twins" with Danny Devito...........P/S I am not an Arnie fan!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The movie is called junior SK not twins even though danny devito is in both of them.............Proves your not an arnie fan!!!!