I Just Don't Understand Thai Women

[JustinTeo]

I met a G-Club girl 10 months ago and have since fallen in love with her, going back as often as 5 times over the last 10 months just to see her and spend time with her. When we're together we behave exactly like a normal couple would - holding hands, hugging, plenty of kissing and even the occasional sex, but whenever I brought up the topic of being together "officially" she would have (in my opinion) a ton of excuses, from not being able to maintain a relationship based on trust because of where she works (in a G-Club) to not deserving of me (I'm a Senior Manager earning considerable wages in The World). That apparantly has never stopped her before - she also met her last boyfriend in the club where she works and maintained a relationship for about a year. She may work in the nght scene but has values and principles, treasures her body and is insightful and mature. I find myself thinking about her all the time (even after so long) and she has only bothered to contact me once every few days. She's done plenty of sweet things for me and when we're together it feels like bliss but she just wouldn't consider the idea of being together. I even sugegsted before my last visit to her that I'd be happy if she would just recognise me as a boyfriend even if it's only for a few days, but was greeted with a cold "This isn't a game. We're not in the movies." Lest any of you start generalising or stereotyping G-Club girls, let me come out and say now that she's thinking of quitting all the time and even bought a restaurant recently with the aim of getting out. She keeps her feelings to herself most of the time, doesn't splash out sweet nothings like your regular gogo girl and would seldom even acknowledge that she misses me (if she does at all). She's extremely shy about verbal declarations which I find strange. Do Thai girls all behave like that?

Am I the childish one? Should I move on? Or is she worth the pursuit?

[britmaveric]

Ahhh a my gogo girl is different thread????

[poshthai]

Some times you have to accept that these girls are earning big money and also many have thai gf/husbands.Try to speak to the owner and he/she could confirm this.I have friends who work in this type of enviroment and the number one thing is most have their loved ones in tow,ie pimps.

Also if she has opened a restaraunt that confimes she is earning plenty of money and/or getting plenty of money sent by various puppies.

Very rare do you get a relationship with g girl purely because they are very cold ladies inside,immune to feelings.

[Shotime]

Why is this on the Ladies Forum?

I would say she likes you 'cause, at least, she's being honest with you, and not taking advantage of your obsession(or is she?).

[PhilHarries]

Had to read the whole OP just to find out what the hel_l a G-Club is. A rather quaint way of glossing over the hard fact she is a P4P lass.

Well at least, as Shotime suggests, she is at least being partially honest with you. The fact that you say you are on big bucks and she doesn't want to enter into a formal relationship shows she must have money-a-plenty coming in from other sources. Also, as poshthai says, she is quite likely tucked up with a Thai husband or boyfriend hence the excuses.

The only odd thing is you don't mention any money you give her. I've never known a Thai woman in that line of business for whom the chance of more money would be turned down. This further strengthens the Thai hubby/bf theory.

I think the majority vote would be for you to move on and try striking up a relationship with a Thai woman from outside the profession.

<edit : btw claiming you don't understand Thai women based on your dealing with a G-Club girl and then posting it in the Ladies forum is not going to make you many new friends.>

Edited August 25, 2008 by PhilHarries

[poshthai]

PHIL,

He would have been crucified if he had said i dont understand farang ladies hehehehehehehe.

[Naam]

Had to read the whole OP just to find out what the hel_l a G-Club is.

me too

[zorro1]

yes its possible she doesn't want your money...YET. They are extremely cunning and the less she wants you the harder you try right? don't be suprised that when your are at your weakest she will sense it then wham o! she will fall in love and for months you wont now your but hole from a hole in the ground and this is where money extraction occurs effortlessly, I know .

Of course that's just one theory but doesn't sound to me like she is going to give up the go go and move to Montana any time soon if ever

Edited August 25, 2008 by zorro1

[sweetchariot]

This is obviously a troll - 1st post and all.

If it's for real the answers are already above, if she didn't have a husband/ bf then she would be all over you like a rash.

Move on. To quote one of our illustrious admins, she has already had more pricks than a second hand dartboard

[imaneggspurt]

Well i think this is a troll, but here goes,. here is a go go bar managers comments ( not me ,but a very savvy man )in his opinion if a girl tells you straight she cant get involved its simply because she is earning VERY big money, also there will/ may be a sugar daddy already on the scene and she dosent want to compromise that,.yes in a way you have to admire her honesty,however ,you still have a very busy girl there and do you really want a relationship with her ? shes already told you in a roundabout way that she ONLY cares for money,. do we really have to tell you what you should do ?

[imaneggspurt]

Ahhh a my gogo girl is different thread????

Maybe its a katoey brit and realises there is no long term future !

[RakJungTorlae]

Had to read the whole OP just to find out what the hel_l a G-Club is.

me too

I still don’t know what it is

[sweetchariot]

Had to read the whole OP just to find out what the hel_l a G-Club is.

me too

I still don't know what it is

I think (but I could be wrong) that he means a gogo.

[zorro1]

I though Go gO ??

[JustinTeo]

Thank you for all your replies. I'm sorry if this has been posted in the wrong place because I'm still very, very new here. Moderators: Do feel free to move this where you deem fit and sorry for the inconveniences.

To clarify a couple of points:

- A G-Club girl is NOT an agogo girl. They do not offer sexual services and the scope of their work is limited to taking care of male customers who walk through their doors and make them feel important / welcome.

- I have never sent her any money, and she has never requested for any to be sent to her.

- I'm inclined to think that she doesn't have anyone sending her money on a regular basis because she has been extremely honest with me about her financial situation and even tells me how much she earns (40,000 in an average month; 45,000 in good months. That's a lot of money in their terms). You can say she's fairly self-sufficient. I have spoken to her close friends and sister on separate occasions and am fairly convinced that she is both unattached and unsponsored.

- What I truly don't understand is how she can supposedly be so smitten over me when I'm over to visit, but yet so shy on verbal declarations of love. If she had wanted to cheat on my money, it actually makes sense to call me tirak unreservedly, no? And it does make sense to accept me as a boyfriend, knowing that I only come over once every 2 months so lies and deceit will be extremely easy to cover up, while at the same time guaranteeing my attention and love. That's why my thread title is "I don't understand Thai women", because first and foremost, she a Thai female. I hope we don't judge her based on where she works, because while her job involves entertaining men, she doesn't sleep around.

(text referring to intimate details about third party removed - MiG16 as a MOD)

Thank you all again for your extremely constructive comments. I only ask that you judge the situation based on her as a Thai female and not of where she works.

Edited August 25, 2008 by MiG16
part of text deleted:MiG16

[zorro1]

Thank you for all your replies. I'm sorry if this has been posted in the wrong place because I'm still very, very new here. Moderators: Do feel free to move this where you deem fit and sorry for the inconveniences.

To clarify a couple of points:

- A G-Club girl is NOT an agogo girl. They do not offer sexual services and the scope of their work is limited to taking care of male customers who walk through their doors and make them feel important / welcome.

Quote

Doesnt sound like you shes making you feel that important, judging by your thread

[phomsanuk]

I met a G-Club girl 10 months ago and have since fallen in love with her, going back as often as 5 times over the last 10 months just to see her and spend time with her. When we're together we behave exactly like a normal couple would - holding hands, hugging, plenty of kissing and even the occasional sex, but whenever I brought up the topic of being together "officially" she would have (in my opinion) a ton of excuses, from not being able to maintain a relationship based on trust because of where she works (in a G-Club) to not deserving of me (I'm a Senior Manager earning considerable wages in The World). That apparantly has never stopped her before - she also met her last boyfriend in the club where she works and maintained a relationship for about a year. She may work in the nght scene but has values and principles, treasures her body and is insightful and mature. I find myself thinking about her all the time (even after so long) and she has only bothered to contact me once every few days. She's done plenty of sweet things for me and when we're together it feels like bliss but she just wouldn't consider the idea of being together. I even sugegsted before my last visit to her that I'd be happy if she would just recognise me as a boyfriend even if it's only for a few days, but was greeted with a cold "This isn't a game. We're not in the movies." Lest any of you start generalising or stereotyping G-Club girls, let me come out and say now that she's thinking of quitting all the time and even bought a restaurant recently with the aim of getting out. She keeps her feelings to herself most of the time, doesn't splash out sweet nothings like your regular gogo girl and would seldom even acknowledge that she misses me (if she does at all). She's extremely shy about verbal declarations which I find strange. Do Thai girls all behave like that?

Am I the childish one? Should I move on? Or is she worth the pursuit?

Are you suggesting that you understand women who are not Thai?.....

[MiG16]

It may or may not be against forum rules, but my advice as a woman - if you want people to respect your woman you have to show her more respect too. It is not about her profession, but to talk about the very intimate things you do to her in a public forum is not a way of showing respect.

I would give that some serious thoughts if I were you. imagine if she were to read the kind of details you provide about her to strangers? was that really necessary?

cant offer any other advice with regards to what she wants or doesnt want from you.

in fact, as a MOD, Im going to make executive decision and say its not appropriate and am deleting that part of your comment.

[PhilHarries]

Okay so she's not a gogo girl but it has to be said you yourself led us down that road by this line.

She keeps her feelings to herself most of the time, doesn't splash out sweet nothings like your regular gogo girl and would seldom even acknowledge that she misses me (if she does at all).

Either way it sounds like she has other irons in the fire. 40 - 45k Baht is not a large pay packet by any means particularly in Bangkok so the doubts regarding her status still stand. Do not put too much on her friends and sister's words, many of these girls lead double lives that even family are unaware of. Plus, even if her friends are completely in the picture they'll never grass her up to a farang customer.

Anyhow, I'm still intrigued by these G-Clubs. I've never heard of them and neither have any of the others judging by the replies. Whereabouts are they located and any names you'd care to drop (obviously not the one your honey works at ).

[poshthai]

please tell,whats a g-club,does he mean a place where ladies sing and the thai guys pay for sex after giving them flowers.

[JustinTeo]

It may or may not be against forum rules, but my advice as a woman - if you want people to respect your woman you have to show her more respect too. It is not about her profession, but to talk about the very intimate things you do to her in a public forum is not a way of showing respect.

I would give that some serious thoughts if I were you. imagine if she were to read the kind of details you provide about her to strangers? was that really necessary?

cant offer any other advice with regards to what she wants or doesnt want from you.

in fact, as a MOD, Im going to make executive decision and say its not appropriate and am deleting that part of your comment.

I'm sorry for making that remark. You're absolutely right to remove that part of my comment.

[sibeymai]

For those of you who are curious about what is a G-club try googling "dummies guide"+"g-club girls". Read Parts 1 and 2.

Edited August 25, 2008 by sibeymai

[JustinTeo]

Exactly. In a way I'm glad, because it proves we have transcended beyond the normal "hostess-customer" relationship where she will be OBLIGATED to make me "feel important", we're actually bickering and having disagreements from a human-to-fellow-human perspective. At the same time, though, I feel less worthy than her customers. Well, at least they pay for her time and expect a certain level of treatment.

Maybe all I wanted to ask is this - is it normal for Thai women to be so conservative when it comes to verbal declarations of love? Are they that shy and stingy with praise? Do they tend to show their affection through other means (or actions)? Or am I just a hopeless lunatic?

I know she likes me, but she just refuses to be called my girlfriend, although we behave exactly that way when we're together. Is this just some strange game she's playing?

[taxexile]

"This isn't a game. We're not in the movies."

wise words.

realize that this girl is in total control of the situation and also in control of your emotions.

dont confuse your obsession with what you cant have for feelings of love .

ultimately , an unfulfilled obsession / relationship like this will drive you crazy.

move on.

[sibeymai]

JustinTeo, I think you should read the dummies guide too...will explain a lot to you.

[bergen]

"All" Thai girls with farang "boyfriends" gets some kind of monthly salary from their boyfriends.

You have'nt given her anything because she "don't want any".

Insist on paying her depts/new mobile/rent/cloths/buffaloes/or other and she might change her mind.............................................

quickly

Edited August 25, 2008 by bergen

[poshthai]

After reading the dummies guide for a couple of seconds this girl is earning big bucks and has no desire to have a bf,or she is new and will be lost to the lure of money very soon.

[Zpete]

Reckon she has head screwed on proper like.

Good luck to her.

[GizmoBKK]

Justin,

Man, I know love is blind, and the last thing you want to hear is a comment like mine, but let me tell you very bluntly: you are most probably very lucky that she refuses you as her boyfriend.

I may seem to be generalizing, but experience taught me that the so called "gems" in this business simply do not exist,

I don't know you, but apparently you don't know much about Thailand. I say this without arrogance, just would like you to be careful and most important not to lose your proper judgment and common sense because of a charming smile:

- I might not know Thailand very well either, but a "gentlemen's club" (or whatever), where so called ladies are paid to "entertain" their male (!) customers and where you CANNOT buy them out for sex – that my friend, I do not think it exists in the Land of Smiles....

- You say there is nobody paying for her. Sorry, how the h*ll would you find out about that? It is not uncommon that Thai girls "in need" are sponsored by a couple of men at the same time. Of course non of them is aware of any of the others.

- You say you are a senior manager. Thus, I assume you have a certain education and a minimum of intelligence that brought you into this position. Do you have the SLIGHTEST idea how different the two of you (probably) are in terms of social background, education, experience in life, values, and expectations in life? Or in short: would you ever date a "g club girl" in your country...?

Dude, once more, I don't know you, but there is a reason why someone said ANOTHER "my go go girl is different thread". Trust me, your story is very, very common, and even though I don't know you, you for sure don't deserve to run into your misery and ruin your life.

Take good care of yourself and best of luck.

Edited August 25, 2008 by GizmoBKK

[imaneggspurt]

Justin,

Man, I know love is blind, and the last thing you want to hear is a comment like mine, but let me tell you very bluntly: you are most probably very lucky that she refuses you as her boyfriend.

I may seem to be generalizing, but experience taught me that the so called "gems" in this business simply do not exist,

I don't know you, but apparently you don't know much about Thailand. I say this without arrogance, just would like you to be careful and most important not to lose your proper judgment and common sense because of a charming smile:

- I might not know Thailand very well either, but a "gentlemen's club" (or whatever), where so called ladies are paid to "entertain" their male (!) customers and where you CANNOT buy them out for sex – that my friend, I do not think it exists in the Land of Smiles....

- You say there is nobody paying for her. Sorry, how the h*ll would you find out about that? It is not uncommon that Thai girls "in need" are sponsored by a couple of men at the same time. Of course non of them is aware of any of the others.

- You say you are a senior manager. Thus, I assume you have a certain education and a minimum of intelligence that brought you into this position. Do you have the SLIGHTEST idea how different the two of you (probably) are in terms of social background, education, experience in life, values, and expectations in life? Or in short: would you ever date a "g club girl" in your country...?

Dude, once more, I don't know you, but there is a reason why someone said ANOTHER "my go go girl is different thread". Trust me, your story is very, very common, and even though I don't know you, you for sure don't deserve to run into your misery and ruin your life.

Take good care of yourself and best of luck.

Superb advice, well done,.