Divorce--advice Sought

[jackr]

As far as I know it doesn't matter if you were married in Thailand or the Uk. A registed marriage in thailand has legal due-restriction in the country of your origin. The important thing is where you divorce... Try not to divorce in the Uk.

I think in this situation I would cosy up to her somewhat and at the same time suggest that there are some relationship 'problems' that need to be sorted out. Suggest taling a holiday to Thailand to try and 'make things work'

Once in Thailand, make sure that the relationship 'problems' get worse and tell her you want a divorce. Offer an amount of money to divorce and have the divorce completed, if she is in agreement, at an amphur office. Very important to have a lawyer/translator present.

If she is not in agreement then fly back alone. Increase the cash offer for divorce by telephone. don't give any money until the papers are signed. This can be done by international post.

Try and divorce in thailand if possible. ane once you have done that you need to register the divorce in the Uk.

If there are kids involved it is obviously much more complicated.

Best of luck

For once I have to agree with Guesthouse.

The OP asks for guidance because he did not think of making an agreement with his wife to be, before marrying.

Anyway I find it very discomforting that nearly everybody assumes it has to be the Thai wife's fault.

There are always 2 sides to every story.

Just my 2 cents

cheers

onzestan

Doesn't matter whose fault it is/was, it's when the doris goes for the jugular and rips into the guy's worth that is totally and utterly immoral. In fact, the guy should be heavily compensated when these fluzies stray and then want to fill their boots

I'd follow the Greek's advice above and get her over here. If she doesn't play ball, a piece of 4x2 across the back of the swede should do the trick.

[GuestHouse]

Apologies, the reference to Guesthouse being a female was taken from reading a previous post on a different subject. I may have been mistaken and confused (probably was), but I recall something Guesthouse posting about a Thai Husband on a different thread.

sorry, i'll get me coat.

No need to appolgise, if I've learned anything about Thailand it is that it attracts a lot of guys with, shall we say non mainstream views of what it is to be female.

I find it a little discomforting that some guy imagines me as a woman, but there's enough sea and sand between us for it not to matter

[Geekfreaklover]

Apologies, the reference to Guesthouse being a female was taken from reading a previous post on a different subject. I may have been mistaken and confused (probably was), but I recall something Guesthouse posting about a Thai Husband on a different thread.

sorry, i'll get me coat.

No need to appolgise, if I've learned anything about Thailand it is that it attracts a lot of guys with, shall we say non mainstream views of what it is to be female.

I find it a little discomforting that some guy imagines me as a woman, but there's enough sea and sand between us for it not to matter

Don't worry dude, I haven't booked the camel taxi yet!

[Geekfreaklover]

As far as I know it doesn't matter if you were married in Thailand or the Uk. A registed marriage in thailand has legal due-restriction in the country of your origin. The important thing is where you divorce... Try not to divorce in the Uk.

I think in this situation I would cosy up to her somewhat and at the same time suggest that there are some relationship 'problems' that need to be sorted out. Suggest taling a holiday to Thailand to try and 'make things work'

Once in Thailand, make sure that the relationship 'problems' get worse and tell her you want a divorce. Offer an amount of money to divorce and have the divorce completed, if she is in agreement, at an amphur office. Very important to have a lawyer/translator present.

If she is not in agreement then fly back alone. Increase the cash offer for divorce by telephone. don't give any money until the papers are signed. This can be done by international post.

Try and divorce in thailand if possible. ane once you have done that you need to register the divorce in the Uk.

If there are kids involved it is obviously much more complicated.

Best of luck

For once I have to agree with Guesthouse.

The OP asks for guidance because he did not think of making an agreement with his wife to be, before marrying.

Anyway I find it very discomforting that nearly everybody assumes it has to be the Thai wife's fault.

There are always 2 sides to every story.

Just my 2 cents

cheers

onzestan

Doesn't matter whose fault it is/was, it's when the doris goes for the jugular and rips into the guy's worth that is totally and utterly immoral. In fact, the guy should be heavily compensated when these fluzies stray and then want to fill their boots

I'd follow the Greek's advice above and get her over here. If she doesn't play ball, a piece of 4x2 across the back of the swede should do the trick.

Zats what i talkin a

bout brother!

[GuestHouse]

I just wonder what would happen if you married into one of the elite families in Thailand. Let's say you married one of the heirs to Central group of companies(ie, 20% owner.......

Would a westerner get a real deal..............

The term 'Victim of one's own imagination' comes to mind.

[Geekfreaklover]

So we are all in agreement.

Get divorced in Thailand.

Any other option is a "no-brainer"

Full stop.

[Misplaced]

Sounds to me like many of you people shouldn't be married. You people don't seem to understand the concept of marriage. If material things means that much to you than you should be alone / live alone through out your entire life. That way you can preserve your beloved materials.

IMO, if you are married than everything should be split-up evenly; unless you have children than more would be on the favor of the person taking care of those children.

OP, get counseling for you and the wife. If you decided to split, than split with her on a peaceful level. Nothing wrong with being friends with your ex after divorce.

Edited October 31, 2008 by Misplaced

[rixalex]

Sounds to me like many of you people shouldn't be married. You people don't seem to understand the concept of marriage. If material things means that much to you than you should be alone / live alone through out your entire life. That way you can preserve your beloved materials.

IMO, if you are married than everything should be split-up evenly; unless you have children than more would be on the favor of the person taking care of those children.

Let's suppose you are a man, and let's suppose that you married a woman who was much richer than you. You stay together a few years, things don't work out and you divorce. Am i right in thinking you feel entitled to claim 50% of all that she owns?

My point isn't that i'm necessarily disagreeing with how the law stands, i'm just wondering how i would feel in that situation. Personally for me, anything that we hadn't worked together to build or earn, i wouldn't feel i had any claim to. Am i wrong to feel this way?

[Kf6vci]

Use the WWW to get a lot of information. Also, join some UK Yahoo Groups for networking.

Do you have any idea what your wife's intentions are? what does she want?

I had a war of roses with an American and it all ended painlessly when she signed the divorce papers at my lawyer's office. He submitted it to Superior Court in CA and when a judge signed them, that was the end!

Getting her there is the art. A quick solution should be worth something to you. legal bills have a way of growing... IMHO, pay to get a clean divorce! And hire an attorney for the paperwork. Good luck!

[imaneggspurt]

Funny isnt it that some are almost saying give her half after 4 years, id ask what has she contributed to deserve half ?,. if 4 years warrants that there will be huge q of thai wives to the uk more than ever !,.i think the trip back to thailand and build her a house or something is a good idea, the op has probably spent a lifetime accumulating what he has and he hasnt said he wants to give her nothing, but caution is required here id say,.

[imaneggspurt]

Sounds to me like many of you people shouldn't be married. You people don't seem to understand the concept of marriage. If material things means that much to you than you should be alone / live alone through out your entire life. That way you can preserve your beloved materials.

IMO, if you are married than everything should be split-up evenly; unless you have children than more would be on the favor of the person taking care of those children.

Let's suppose you are a man, and let's suppose that you married a woman who was much richer than you. You stay together a few years, things don't work out and you divorce. Am i right in thinking you feel entitled to claim 50% of all that she owns?

My point isn't that i'm necessarily disagreeing with how the law stands, i'm just wondering how i would feel in that situation. Personally for me, anything that we hadn't worked together to build or earn, i wouldn't feel i had any claim to. Am i wrong to feel this way?

Spot on, and there lies the answer, would you feel comfortable taking half ?,. i wouldnt dream of it had i not contributed and anyone that "goes for it " is doing so out of greed id say,.

[Checker]

As far as I know it doesn't matter if you were married in Thailand or the Uk. A registed marriage in thailand has legal due-restriction in the country of your origin. The important thing is where you divorce... Try not to divorce in the Uk.

I think in this situation I would cosy up to her somewhat and at the same time suggest that there are some relationship 'problems' that need to be sorted out. Suggest taling a holiday to Thailand to try and 'make things work'

Once in Thailand, make sure that the relationship 'problems' get worse and tell her you want a divorce. Offer an amount of money to divorce and have the divorce completed, if she is in agreement, at an amphur office. Very important to have a lawyer/translator present.

If she is not in agreement then fly back alone. Increase the cash offer for divorce by telephone. don't give any money until the papers are signed. This can be done by international post.

Try and divorce in thailand if possible. ane once you have done that you need to register the divorce in the Uk.

If there are kids involved it is obviously much more complicated.

Best of luck

Totally, Totally, Totally agree , , , word for word . . . . . .

[Misplaced]

Sounds to me like many of you people shouldn't be married. You people don't seem to understand the concept of marriage. If material things means that much to you than you should be alone / live alone through out your entire life. That way you can preserve your beloved materials.

IMO, if you are married than everything should be split-up evenly; unless you have children than more would be on the favor of the person taking care of those children.

Let's suppose you are a man, and let's suppose that you married a woman who was much richer than you. You stay together a few years, things don't work out and you divorce. Am i right in thinking you feel entitled to claim 50% of all that she owns?

My point isn't that i'm necessarily disagreeing with how the law stands, i'm just wondering how i would feel in that situation. Personally for me, anything that we hadn't worked together to build or earn, i wouldn't feel i had any claim to. Am i wrong to feel this way?

Spot on, and there lies the answer, would you feel comfortable taking half ?,. i wouldnt dream of it had i not contributed and anyone that "goes for it " is doing so out of greed id say,.

I do agree with you gents partially. I guess stating "split-up evenly" was extreme; however, I do feel that the other half should live just as comfortable as you out of your marriage as she would be in the marriage.

[Geekfreaklover]

Sounds to me like many of you people shouldn't be married. You people don't seem to understand the concept of marriage. If material things means that much to you than you should be alone / live alone through out your entire life. That way you can preserve your beloved materials.

IMO, if you are married than everything should be split-up evenly; unless you have children than more would be on the favor of the person taking care of those children.

OP, get counseling for you and the wife. If you decided to split, than split with her on a peaceful level. Nothing wrong with being friends with your ex after divorce.

Sounds to me that you never been through a divorce.

[GuestHouse]

Funny isnt it that some are almost saying give her half after 4 years, id ask what has she contributed to deserve half ?

But it's not for anyone here to decide what someone is entitled to in a divorce, that is what we have laws and the courts for.

The attitude of get the wife out of the UK to Thailand and make sure things take a turn for the worse there (hence removing her from access to the UK courts and her rights under UK law) is perhaps indicative of attitudes towards, marriage, women and specifically Thai women.

Let me see, a Thai wife, keep her while things are going your way and ship her off home when things turn sour... no need to bother with allowing her representation in the courts as is her right under the law.

Like I say, the nicest of people.

I'm not quite sure about this idea that allowing a Thai woman in this situation her rights to the marital wealth would give rise to a huge queue at UK immigration - Quite the opposite might be the case. Guys eager to get their hands on a Thai wife who they can manipulate in the manner suggested might think twice about doing so if they understood that Marriage and rights in Marriage shall be upheld.

[LaoPo]

The OP's case is a classical example of a marriage which didn't succeed and there is NO Prenuptial agreement.

Some have the mis-concept that a prenup is always for the benefit of the male in a marriage; it's not, it's in the best interest for both parties (in case of a bankruptcy for instance, the wife is protected and will keep HER assets) and in other cases it could be the wife who has more assets than the husband; in those cases: ALSO a prenup !

ALWAYS a Prenuptial Agreement* BEFORE you marry ! It saves enormous trouble once the marriage fails; and guess what.......some marriages DO fail

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement

Note: I'm very surprised to read:

"The United Kingdom as of 2007 does not enforce prenuptial agreements (although there have been some notable exceptions). They also do not have a provision for marital regimes."

That sounds almost antique to me as such agreements were already in force on the mainland of Europe many decades ago...

LaoPo

[Misplaced]

Sounds to me like many of you people shouldn't be married. You people don't seem to understand the concept of marriage. If material things means that much to you than you should be alone / live alone through out your entire life. That way you can preserve your beloved materials.

IMO, if you are married than everything should be split-up evenly; unless you have children than more would be on the favor of the person taking care of those children.

OP, get counseling for you and the wife. If you decided to split, than split with her on a peaceful level. Nothing wrong with being friends with your ex after divorce.

Sounds to me that you never been through a divorce.

That's because I actually took my time and found the "right woman for me".

Edited October 31, 2008 by Misplaced

[Colonel_Mustard]

The attitude of get the husband to divorce in England and make sure things take a turn for the worse there (hence removing him from access to the Thai courts and his rights under Thai law) is perhaps indicative of attitudes towards, marriage, men and specifically Western men.

I have made a few small changes to GuestHouse's post which would seem equally valid.

While I see what you are saying, I believe the only fair settlement is one that is based on what they have achieved together, as a couple. Assets that have been accrued since the marriage are fair game for a 50/50 split but the assets of either party gained before marriage should be off limits.

Edited October 31, 2008 by Colonel_Mustard

[Livinginexile]

Hello I am after some advice to see legally where I stand.

Things have turned a litle sour lately and I cant continue as we are doing.

I was wondering legally where would stand if we were to divorce. We both live in the UK but if we seperate I'm pretty sure that my wife would return to Thailand and be with her family. I have some assets in property in the uk and I endevour to save these as much as possible and am looking at the legal implications, what she is entitled to etc.. I was wondering if it matters that we married in Thailand or not.

I look forward to your advice

...and if all else fail then liquidate, hide your assets and divorce her.

It really is quite easy to do.

For one thing, she would not have the financial backing to support herself to fight a UK court case, upfront lawyers fees alone would kill her.

Dump her, put her on a plane home and forget about her.

Problem solved.

[Lickey]

I was married to a russian women for 2 years, id had enough of fried grated carrotts and wanted a divorce, by this time she got UK nationality and could work,

My solicitors questions were, has she in any way contributed to your house? No.

Does she give you any money from her earnings to help support her? No.

Do you have children together? No.

ok, thankyou, now i need 6 reasons why you want a divorce!

That bit was easy!

I would think this law still stands in the UK,

OP dosent mention children.

Rgds, Lickey.

[Lickey]

Forgot to add, she didnt get anything in the way of money or property from me, i did help her find a flat and paid the deposit, that was the end of it.

[rick75]

OP i would be worried about things like,

Her taking out an AVO(apprehended violence order), if this happens she will be entitled to stay in the maritial home, you will have to find alternative accomodation, you will spend the next 6 months fighting the AVO in court, it won't cost her a cent in legal fees and she will have plenty of time to sort out how to screw you for the most cash she can.

This is a fairly common situation to be in, the police and the courts all side with the female, its up to you to and your expensive lawyer to clear your name.

Tread carefully you don't want to piss off the other party.

[jackr]

Sounds to me like many of you people shouldn't be married. You people don't seem to understand the concept of marriage. If material things means that much to you than you should be alone / live alone through out your entire life. That way you can preserve your beloved materials.

IMO, if you are married than everything should be split-up evenly; unless you have children than more would be on the favor of the person taking care of those children.

OP, get counseling for you and the wife. If you decided to split, than split with her on a peaceful level. Nothing wrong with being friends with your ex after divorce.

Sounds to me that you never been through a divorce.

That's because I actually took my time and found the "right woman for me".

Good for you, hope it stays good

but...

They're fickle creatures, women; she could very easily turn into the wrong one wherever she's from.