What Do You Think Of Guys Who Has Dated A Trans Girl?

[chiangmaikelly]

Do you people really think there are many Thai men or expats who have lived here for any length of time that have not tried a tranny? Except gay guys of course. The gay males I know don’t much go for lady men.

The louder males persist in saying, "I have never had one" the surer you can be they have. Look at the readership stats of any of the Thai story sites. Average story gets 40 or 50 hits - add a tranny and some kink and it goes up to 5000 hits. Good morning Thailand. My gosh the schools are even putting in a third toilet for them.

[sbk]

considering the nature of the topic overly inflammatory posts have been deleted. Please mind your manners here, thanks.

[Geekfreaklover]

I used to live and work in a North Eastern area in Thailand that was way, way off the radar in terms of tourism or expats. But there was an inordinate number of katoey bars, Katoey karoke places etc frequented by many Thais, most of whom were married. In fact there were more Katoeys than straight service girls.

so we can prehaps conclude that the Katoeys wouldn't be working in the bars if there services were not required by the local Thai men (as there were no foreign visitors) . Thai men use the services of the third sex, so I'm sure that the OP's girlfriend is not ignorant of their place and importance in Thai society.

Maybe we are thinking that the OP's straight gf has had a more sheltered upbring than is the case.

Still don't think that the OP should tell her, though.

Edited February 3, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[WOWAsia]

I don't know if anyone here is familiar with "Tula", the transgendered James Bond Girl (For Your Eyes Only)

A bit of information on her is here:

http://www.universalexports.net/00Tula.shtml

I think alot of this talk is a bit silly. If all the surgical procedures were done such that the former man is physically identical to a woman, why would anyone think he is gay or has other 'issues'. A beautiful female form is a beautiful female form. I would not ban Tula from my bedroom, and I do not think that makes me gay. I also do not think any actual gay man would be very interested in her.

As for telling a girl you are with about your past transexual GF, I would treat it as the same rule as I have for all my ex's-->just don't talk about it. Transgendered female or fully biological female...talking about your ex's is not a good thing. No one wants to hear either about how much you can't stand your ex or how much you miss your ex. Either way it's gonna cause problems in your relationships. Either she thinks you are an a*hole for not being able to end a relationship on good terms, or she's gonna think you still have a thing for your Ex.

An Ex is an Ex is an Ex. If you and your current love are in a long standing relationship...then you talk about it...if she asks. You don't do it in the beginning. Frankly whoever you were with in the past is not really your current girl's business because it happened before you met her.

The pic is clearly a man for me! No woman has that kind of legs, they are male legs! I wouldn't touch male legs!

[pop_corn]

I would think you are bi. I'm not saying thats a bad thing, but I would ask you for an HIV test inmediatly, and will ask the same thing after 6 months. Sorry, but AIDS are most common in gay guys.

[Geekfreaklover]

I would think you are bi. I'm not saying thats a bad thing, but I would ask you for an HIV test inmediatly, and will ask the same thing after 6 months. Sorry, but AIDS are most common in gay guys.

Who is that post aimed at? .... Submanic?

sorry dude, couldn't help myself after you set yourself up with the Tula post!

Edited February 3, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[sylviex]

I think I misunderstood the OP. It now seems to me his question is hypothetical only. He doesn't currently have a "regular" girlfriend who may or may not be bothered by knowing about a previous transgendered partner. He's simply asking. (Is that right?).

Personally, I find the OP's interest very understandable. I think transgendered folk do often possess insights and fortitude that people born with more conventional biological systems may lack. (I also think the same applies to gay people, to varying degrees, but in no way wish to suggest an interest in transgendered people implies homosexuality.)

Some hetero men have more "feminine" characteristics than others. The same goes for women.

"An Ex is an Ex is an Ex. If you and your current love are in a long standing relationship...then you talk about it...if she asks. You don't do it in the beginning. Frankly whoever you were with in the past is not really your current girl's business because it happened before you met her."

Of course, don't bore or irritate a new partner with constant tales of your former loves.

However, while your relationships with your ex-es may not strictly be anyone else's business, if you are getting into a long term relationship of any depth, it's going to be very difficult to avoid talking about yourself and your past, which will include these ex-es. Who you are now is surely, in part, a consequence of who you were before. Also, why hide anything? A strong relationship requires knowing and understanding your partner well. I'd be far more bothered by a feeling that a partner was reluctant to be open with me than any discomfort certain "revelations" might bring. You take the person as they are now; yes. You accept their past as they accept yours.

[britmaveric]

Well most transgendered prob be horrified to be sought after as such, from my understanding they want to be looked at as a man or woman - conform to the new gender.

[sylviex]

Well most transgendered prob be horrified to be sought after as such, from my understanding they want to be looked at as a man or woman - conform to the new gender.

True ... but I suspect they'd readily acknowledge that their path to that point has afforded them perspectives on sexuality and "life in general" that others are less likely to have.

[pop_corn]

I would think you are bi. I'm not saying thats a bad thing, but I would ask you for an HIV test inmediatly, and will ask the same thing after 6 months. Sorry, but AIDS are most common in gay guys.

Who is that post aimed at? .... Submanic?

sorry dude, couldn't help myself after you set yourself up with the Tula post!

thats my answer to the first post clearly.

[mssabai]

I would think you are bi. I'm not saying thats a bad thing, but I would ask you for an HIV test inmediatly, and will ask the same thing after 6 months. Sorry, but AIDS are most common in gay guys.

I don't think I agree with you pop_corn. Neither of these are gay men (though I do agree that testing is a good idea, but I would say this for anyone in a new relationship). One is a straight man who found himself attracted to a person who used to be a man. If he was bi he would be interested in women and men, not people who look and act in every way as a woman but who happened to have been born male.

To my gay friends transsexuals are in no way attractive (or more attractive to them than any other woman). A trans gendered person is someone who truly believes that they were born in the wrong body. They spend thousands of dollars on painful operations and treatments to make the outisde of themselves reflect how they feel on the inside. To call them a 'gay man' denies them the right to be the sex that they feel and I think it reflects a lack of understanding about these people.

[mc2]

Why make it an issue. Many guys I know have traveled the up chocolate esculator with a 3rd gendered thingy. Do you suppose most girls would bother to tell you that they have experimented with a little taste of the hairy pie - unless during dirty talk.

Trannys can be very nice and a change from the same same girlies - just keep your hand on your wallet.

firstly its impolite to call them "thingies" but , I have to admit i was amused by the other euphemisms.

[sbk]

Gay men are not attracted to women, period., Regardless of whether or not they used to be men, they still LOOK like women and consider themselves to be women.

Just curious, how many straight men would be interested in a woman who had a sex change to become a man (rare, but it does happen) simply because, well, he used to be a woman? i think it would be just as many as the gay men who are attracted to transgendered women.

Anyway, I am curious as to why the OP does not clarify the rather glaring discrepancies in his two different posts.

[mc2]

Regardless of whether or not they used to be men, they still LOOK like women and consider themselves to be women.

i disagree.

if someone dresses up like jesus and considers themselves to be jesus, it doesnt make them jesus.

no real christian will follow the teachings of a fake jesus.

just like no real straight man will be attracted to a fake woman.

[mrnosey]

Why make it an issue. Many guys I know have traveled the up chocolate esculator with a 3rd gendered thingy. Do you suppose most girls would bother to tell you that they have experimented with a little taste of the hairy pie - unless during dirty talk.

Trannys can be very nice and a change from the same same girlies - just keep your hand on your wallet.

firstly its impolite to call them "thingies" but , I have to admit i was amused by the other euphemisms.

Personally I was more offended by following - "have traveled the up chocolate esculator" phrase.

Clearly the grammar and metaphor are incorrect, nevermind the spelling. To 'have done one up the marmite motorway" would be, prehaps, more appropiate given the context of the paragraph.

[sbk]

Regardless of whether or not they used to be men, they still LOOK like women and consider themselves to be women.

i disagree.

if someone dresses up like jesus and considers themselves to be jesus, it doesnt make them jesus.

no real christian will follow the teachings of a fake jesus.

just like no real straight man will be attracted to a fake woman.

Feel free to disagree, you have the right to your opinion but I have known more than a few straight men who unwittingly found a transgendered woman very attractive.

Perhaps this means they are secretly gay in your eyes? No idea, but I disagree with you

[submaniac]

I would think you are bi. I'm not saying thats a bad thing, but I would ask you for an HIV test inmediatly, and will ask the same thing after 6 months. Sorry, but AIDS are most common in gay guys.

OK, I have literally just returned from a flight from San Antonio Texas, so I am a bit cranky, and have had my fill of neolithic hillbilly types.

Sorry popcorn, I find your post offensive. I mean, you do not know me. You have never met me, and I frankly don't divulge alot of my personal love life that much. But if you think I am Bi, well go ahead. My feelings are that it would be nothing to be ashamed of. If you accused my of being a pedophile, yeah, that's something to be ashamed of. Being gay, straight, or by...that's someone's preference I really don't care what makes them happy. But the implication that you are also making is that gays and bi's have AIDS, and like to do unprotected sex. And, also without knowing me, you think that I now have AIDS. Well if it makes you feel better, I have never had a sexual partner that did not come with fallopian tubes and ovaries 'from the factory'. And I never have unprotected sex unless it is a long term monogamous partner.

And if you must know I have been checked for various venereal diseases out there, and have never caught anything. Not even crabs, and definately not aids (and yes I have taken aids tests--which was to reassure my partner).

For all you guys who blather on and on about how you would never do a tranny, let's face reality. I am a man, and I know how men think. If you met this very attractive girl in a bar and she wanted to end up in your bed that night, you would do it. And the question you probably wouldn't ask is "hey, have you ever been a man"? That would kill the mood, and you would turn a blind eye to it if you found her really attractive. I KNOW that most men would hop into bed with her first, before finding out that she was a tranny. So if you want to think that I am gay, go right ahead. Your opinions do not matter that much to me.

[Boo]

Sub, I think you missed pop_corns reply to the suggestion she was replyingto you;

thats my answer to the first post clearly.

I read that to mean she was replying to the op.

But I agree with your sentiment. I've never had a bloke ask me if I was formerly a man before trying to get in my pants & unless you can tell 100% (& lets face it some of these women are totally 100% abl to pass as natural women) that she was previously a he, then why would you ask after meeting a good looking girl ?

[BigSnake]

Tell her, have your camara handy and watch her freak out. A guy that date a Trans girl. hmmmm!! Maybe a bit on the Bisexual side

[mc2]

Regardless of whether or not they used to be men, they still LOOK like women and consider themselves to be women.

i disagree.

if someone dresses up like jesus and considers themselves to be jesus, it doesnt make them jesus.

no real christian will follow the teachings of a fake jesus.

just like no real straight man will be attracted to a fake woman.

Feel free to disagree, you have the right to your opinion but I have known more than a few straight men who unwittingly found a transgendered woman very attractive.

Perhaps this means they are secretly gay in your eyes? No idea, but I disagree with you

if it is unwittingly, then they have been 'tricked'.

so to answer your question, no, I don't think it means they are secretly gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) , gullible / naieve perhaps

i suppose I should have said instead "no real straight man will knowingly be attracted to a fake woman."

we can agree to disagree . no use arguing, people have made up their mind

Edited February 4, 2009 by mc2

[chiangmaikelly]

I would think you are bi. I'm not saying thats a bad thing, but I would ask you for an HIV test inmediatly, and will ask the same thing after 6 months. Sorry, but AIDS are most common in gay guys.

As far as I know the AIDS capital of Thailand is Rayong. Hardly a gay city. I wonder why?

[britmaveric]

^actually its Phuket.

[wolf5370]

With reference to the 'AIDS check' - I think given the amount of Farang and Thai men that make use of prostitues in this country, and given that there is certainly a higher rate of AIDS in that sector than in non-professional gay 'sector' (for want of a relative word), and that most men have relationships with women who have had relationships before (which is statistically obvious as most do not marry as virgins and most virgins do not spend their lives with just one lover), it is probably safer to sleep with the transgendered female than the straight man/girl you just met - at least she would have been tested before the operations - how many lovers have you had in the last ten years? Did you have them tested? Where you tested?!

As to choice, if I wasn't married and I met a charming lady I liked and it turns out she was transgendered I would expect her to say (in case I want to have children for a start), but personally I don't think its an issue beyond that. She is now a lady, female - period (no pun intended ). Katoey to me refers to part transgendered (i.e. breast implants and immac) once they are a women, then they are a woman. I would not consider myself gay if I had such a lady as a GF - and those that know me would know I am certainly straight.

What are we really talking about here? Is it because her chromosomes are XX? Is it because she is missing the right plumbing internally? (a girl that has had her uterus removed because of disease etc - is she no longer a woman?) Or is because she once had a boy's name? (Charlie, Alex, Shirley, George, Marian - all have been both male and female names) I think its just because we are wrapped up in what society has told us is wrong. Society (Western society at least) tells us it wrong, because historically we needed to breed (6.5 billion human souls on this earth - not really a priority now, eh?). Religious types say 'man shouldn't lay with man, it says so in the bible' - where does it say this? It was never said by a prophet, it was an added rule in the Jewish Torrah I believe (where 14 commandments grew to 313 or so) - and we break many of those without thinking about it. Besides, she is now biologically not a man, so you would be laying with a female. So, again, I ask why the issue?

Edited February 4, 2009 by wolf5370

[goldfish]

If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon

I don't usually lurk in the ladies forum, was actually drawn here by submaniac's weight issues (buy a bicycle, you like 2-wheels), but am now captivated. This comment appealed, a quote?

[mmushr00m]

Do like the US Army...Dont ask, dont tell.

I think it might also depends on the TS. Is she the normal looking ones that works in an office etc, the flamboyant overly feminized patpong/nana ones or a guy who just decided to throw on a dress. I am pretty sure these factors will play apart in the reaction you recieve.

[submaniac]

Sub, I think you missed pop_corns reply to the suggestion she was replyingto you;

thats my answer to the first post clearly.

I read that to mean she was replying to the op.

pop_corns, my sincerest apologies. I thought that was directed towards me.

I don't usually lurk in the ladies forum, was actually drawn here by submaniac's weight issues (buy a bicycle, you like 2-wheels)

"drawn here by submaniac's weight issues"? Like I am so fat that I have my own gravitational field?

"buy a bicycle, you like 2 wheels"--actually not a bad idea. Can I wear my riding leathers, sidi boots, and kevlar armor? That would be so cool.

[OxfordWill]

Regardless of whether or not they used to be men, they still LOOK like women and consider themselves to be women.

i disagree.

if someone dresses up like jesus and considers themselves to be jesus, it doesnt make them jesus.

weak analogy.

[chiangmaikelly]

^actually its Phuket.

Nope. The Aids capital used to be in the north Chiang Mai, Mae Hong Son, and Chiang Rai. It changed to Rayong last year. Phuket is not even close. The village of Ban Wanaluang tested 95% hiv positive. Hiv is a drug use related problem in Thailand if you didn't know it. Next to drugs it is the Thai guys and the migrant workers who don't use condoms. For more information check with Father Giovanni Contarin who runs the Camillian center in Rayong.

[mssabai]

Regardless of whether or not they used to be men, they still LOOK like women and consider themselves to be women.

i disagree.

if someone dresses up like jesus and considers themselves to be jesus, it doesnt make them jesus.

weak analogy.

I have to agree.

[OxfordWill]

assuming an instance of no condom or condom breakage...

pop corn's post is expressing an opinion based on facts- bi men sleep with men, gay men have higher instances of hiv, and if you are receptively gay or bi with a man you are engaging in the most riskiest sexual practice with regards to HIV.

But, popcorn, don't forget the bi men you would want to test have also had sex with girls, who have then had sex with straight men too. Although in a less risky way of course.