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Thai Girls Leaving Their Home Country?


ThaiLover1

Which location is better for long term relationships?  

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They leave the home country and get more money for selling themselves, makes economical sense.

As for the stupid farang who is gulible enough to take one over, he deserves all he gets.

I'm one of the stupid farangs, I married a Thai girl 12 years ago, we are living in Denmark, and it has been the best 12 years of my life, so I don't mind being called stupid. :o

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They leave the home country and get more money for selling themselves, makes economical sense.

As for the stupid farang who is gulible enough to take one over, he deserves all he gets.

Uhmm.. I must add something here as I'm a Thai girl who married a Farang. I married my husband cuz of love. Nothing to do with his money (he doesn't have any). I live in Denmark because my husband doesn't like to live in Thailand. I have a good job in Denmark and I earn more than him (he is an engineer btw). We own a house here and I paid 50% of it. :o

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yes they seem to undergo a personality change , from having few options in LOS they suddenly have very many . Credit cards easy to obtain , men a plenty , easy to find unskilled and well paid jobs . Suddenly the old fool who they loved doesnt look too hot and there are so many other blokes willing to spend money on them. Abroad

I can always tell farang/thai married couples , very strange couples who never seem to converse .He looks pissed off and she has become a spend crazy shopaholic .

You can ALWAYS tell these couples , very wierd couples who just dont seem to fit together .

The same is not true of farangs with say girls from HongKong or Singapore because they are already independant and able to stand on their own feet ,so the relationship is on a different level from the start .

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I am married to a Thai lady who I met in Bangkok in 1991, after the economic crash of 97 we left Thailand since when we have lived in England, Canada and now the US. She has adapted well in each location (even in -35F temperatures in Toronto), speaks English reasonably well and remains as sweet and beautiful as when we first met. The language for me is the big issue, being able to communicate and make friends keeps her from being home-sick. We make frequent trips back to Thailand to visit familty which also helps.

To all Western men: 

I am interested to hear your experiences about bringing a non-bar Thai girlfriend (or wife) to another country for a long term stay.  I am not asking about immigration issues, but simple things about possible hassles from the Western culture and the impact on the love relationship with your sweet and caring girl from Thailand.

For example issues like this:

- Will the Thai girl lose the charming "up-to-you" attitude, and become more independent and Western thinking?

-  Will she be bored and watch soap-operas on TV all day and become another couch potato?  Willl she become a party freak and want to go dancing with local Farangs?  Or, will she pick up and do some postive activity (read: go to school or start a business)?

-  Will she adopt some of the “strong” attitudes of Western women where divorce court is just around the corner for a 50% split of all marital assets?  The Thai girl might even enjoy to learn from her new Western women friends that the major income earner (read: Western husband) will pay for the legal costs for both parties in a divorce!

-  Will she be hassled by other men - because she is Thai, young and beautiful?  Perhaps an older man (like me) with a 20s young girl will be seen as fair game for a young romantic Western male, or does the Western male keep his distance and respect? 

-  Does the Thai girl show disinterest when approached by an interested Western male, and does she decline to get involved with needless chat and refuse to give out her cell phone number etc?  In my experience Thai girls do not like to say “no” to a phone number request, even if they have no intention to start a romance.

-  Will she adjust to the new Western culture, without convenient food vendors offering food and fresh fruits wherever you turn?

-  Will she get used to the Western middle class suburbia, without taxies and people walking around in the neighborhoods?  Things may be very quite and boring  compared to sanok Thailand.

-  Do you have any other cultural comments to help to set me straight on whether to bring my future wife to America or not? 

PS Please hold all your flames that I should find a Western girl around my own age in my own local country.

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I met my GF here on Saipan. She's a university graduate, Thai/Chinese from Korat. She first came to this area as a waitress at a hotel restaurant about six years ago. She's now an F&B supervisor at a resort hotel near our home. She has adjusted very well to island life and seems to enjoy whatever she is doing, including her rather demanding job. Her English is excellent and she is a bright, happy person with a wonderful sense of humor.

That said, she is ready to return home. I'll retire on March 31st and we fly to LOS on April 5th.

Certainly, her life has changed since she met me. She has a lot more disposable income, but she remains quite conservative financially and never spends a cent unnecessarily. She's got no gold, no fancy clothes and always teases me about being too quick to buy something. Her weakness is gadgets. She's well equipped with a PowerBook, iPod and other stuff. Still she cooks on a one burner stove. We have two computers, two TV's and a stereo, but no toaster or microwave!

I suspect that when we return "home" she'll remain the practical, down-to-earth, fun loving person that she has been since I met her.

I'm glad I met her here, but we're both looking forward to our new lives in Korat.

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I wasnt aware that a non bar girl Thai would have any different reactions to moving to a new country or experience any different problems than a bar girl Thai. After all they are all Thai women.

Excuse me!? In this thread we are not talking just talking about the hot and cold weather - and other effects that might happen to Thai girls. We are talking about cultural effects, including economic. Bar-girls are still people, but a totally different breed of people. Not better or worse - just so different.

No offense intended, but from what I hear the bargirls are mainly in it for the money - not for the love relationship. Non-bar girls can still be in it for money, but they are usually more interested in love!

IMG_1003.jpg

I never plan to marry a hooker (bar-girl), so if we can limit the discussion to non-bar girls I think this becomes easier. Here is another picture of a sweet office girl.

It seems that you really have a negative thing about bargirls, I don't know how old you are but looking at your pics, it seems that you only want a young girl near you that does everything you want them to do, and sure doesn't get the attitude that western woman have nowadays.

There's good and bad ones everywhere in every working area, bars or not, and the ones who work in bars are not a bread but are mainly girls who have to work there to get food on their table and help their family. I've met some girls in LOS who didn't work in bars, but they sure knew the tricks aswell. You said yourself that you had a girl in your room who was on the phone with another farang, so it seems that you use their service for your fun, but really have no respect for them. They feel that and so will any other girl, isn't love what should be more important then past?

For my opinion, you diserve a non-bar girl who will marry you, move over to the US, meet a younger guy and gets half of your money when she divorces you!

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They ... get more money for selling themselves, makes economical sense.

As for the stupid farang who is gulible enough to take one over, he deserves all he gets.

Strangely, I agree with this response.

But also, who cares? In some sense, dating women in Thailand is really not that different from dating women in the US, Singapore and Hong Kong that look for the three Cs - Credit card, Car and Condo. Thai girls may be a little more "up-to-you" and less demanding - at first. But, it is all a game, and a little education and knowledge will teach you how to play it and keep what you want. (smile)

Even bar-girls are ok for what they are - if you know the rules of the game.

IMG_2792.jpg

The point to emphasize here is that the real danger is not external – not the bargirl - but rather the individuals internal response. Bars and Bargirls have been around a long time and the game is established. Don’t blame the other players because you don’t know the rules. Those that out of ignorance think that the relationships they form with the girls are REAL, are destined for disappointment.

Bar-girls, straight girls or Thai girls that are looking to upgrade their social status by finding a "rich" foreign man - are all playing a game with certain rules that has been around since the beginning of time. Play the game to the fullest, but know the rules and guidelines before losing your heart - and valet.

Enjoy life! Splurge on it!

Edited by ThaiLover1
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I met my wife in 1975 on a small U.S. Army installation down the road from Udorn RTAFB. She was a waitress at the NCO club. She came with me to the U.S. and busted her butt working as a waitress at Denny's and a part time job as a cocktail waitress. She sure didn't marry me for my money 'cause I was a broke Air Force three-striper! She's done a great job of learning to read, write, and speak English (at least what is reconizable as English in Texas :o ). She eventually started working at fitness centers on military bases and 10 years ago she attained civil service status as a recreation aide and will retire with a small pension. The ultimate sign of assimilation is that she's a Dallas Cowboy fan!!

The one thing she dislikes about the culture in the U.S. is the way we tend to treat old folks, i.e., putting them in a nursing home and letting strangers take care of them. That's one of the factors leading to our decision to retire in Thailand. I withnessed first hand how her parents were taken care of in their declining years by family and friends. So although she has managed to get fairly well "westernized" we're both looking forward to returning to where it all started.

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Its best to keep her in LOS as the pitfalls taking her back home are too numerous to mention.

But Most Irritating of all especialy if you live in say sunny California or some place similar is this fear they have of exposing 1 inch of skin to the sun ! They are terrified ,petrified of the sun . They are like "Morlocks"

This means that you can never engage in outdoor pursuits together like swimming ,tennis ,cycling,skating etc

without her being wrapped up like a mummy !

You will be outside enjoying the sun and she will be skulking in the gloom somewhere on her own , watching TV . problems right away !

Its really a nuisance if you like outdoor pursuits as you cannot get over this problem . they have a mental block about this . as far as they are concerned dark skin means "PEASANT" and they dont want to know about exposure to sunlight AT ALL ! .

you will have to go swimming after sundown .

I havent seen this problem with other asian women only Thais and it is a damned nuisance unless you like hanging around in the gloom inside all summer long .

This is a major problem with Thai women not to mention many others . :o

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Its best to keep her in LOS as the pitfalls taking her back home are too numerous to mention.

But Most Irritating of all especialy if you live in say sunny California or some place similar is this fear they have of exposing 1 inch of skin to the sun ! They are terrified ,petrified of the sun . They are like "Morlocks"

This means that you can never engage in outdoor pursuits together like swimming ,tennis ,cycling,skating  etc

without her being wrapped up like a mummy !

You will be outside enjoying the sun and she will be skulking in the gloom somewhere on her own , watching TV .  problems right away !

Its really a nuisance if you like outdoor pursuits as you cannot get over this problem . they have a mental block about this . as far as they are concerned dark skin means "PEASANT" and they dont want to know about exposure to sunlight AT ALL ! .

you will have to go swimming after sundown .

I havent seen this problem with other asian women only Thais and it is a damned nuisance unless you like hanging around in the gloom inside all summer long .

This is a major problem with Thai women not to mention many others . :o

at least from my experience this is correct. White skin seemed to be highy prized among at least some Thai women, and many will go to great lengths to avoid direct sunlight. My wife would never, ever do any outdoor activity that involved being in the sun for more than a few minutes...she always has an umbrella handy, or at least long sleeved shirt and a hat. Unforuntately for her, just a few hours in the sun will turn her as brown as a chesnut, costing her weeks of sun-avoidance. It all has to do with not wanting to appear like a "laborer" or "farmer" (neither of which anyone could EVER confuse my wife for). This sounds bad, but like other differences, we have adjusted. It does mean that there are certain things we either don't do, or I do alone (for example, I don't golf, but if I do, I would be on my own...same goes for hitting the beach, riding a bike, etc). I am fine with this, but there are some people that this could present a serious problem to...

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Taking on a thai female is like taking on the upkeep of a thoroughbred race horse .

they cant fend for themselves , they need daily mucking out and fresh oats , and if you leave the stable door open they will bolt for it or stallions will be coming in amd mounting them all the time :o

they are fussy just about everything including diet .

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My Thai lady and I have lived together in the US for almost 35 years now and its been good,  I have always wanted to live in Thailand but when I landed a job there once she said no at the time because she wanted the kids to grow up in the U.S.  It depends too on where you live in the U.S.  A Buddhist temple nearby helps and living in some areas of the U.S could be negative.  I am certain every person is different but our experience has been as follows:

- Will the Thai girl lose the charming "up-to-you" attitude, and become more independent and Western thinking?  Nope, she still offers me the first bite after cutting an orange to eat, etc.  Things have not ever been totally up to me but the Thai attitude has never changed.

- Will she be bored and watch soap-operas on TV all day and become another couch potato? Will she become a party freak and want to go dancing with local Farangs? Or, will she pick up and do some positive activity (read: go to school or start a business)?    Mine went to college and got a job.  She has now retired from it and watches Trading Places and other home remodeling shows now- not soaps.  Since retiring a year ago she has painted and reorganized every room in the house.  Not a party girl and it takes a lot to get her to go out for an evening.

- Will she adopt some of the “strong” attitudes of Western women where divorce court is just around the corner for a 50% split of all marital assets? The Thai girl might even enjoy to learn from her new Western women friends that the major income earner (read: Western husband) will pay for the legal costs for both parties in a divorce!  No such attitude change and no experience here for me with that. 

- Will she be hassled by other men - because she is Thai, young and beautiful? Perhaps an older man (like me) with a 20s young girl will be seen as fair game for a young romantic Western male, or does the Western male keep his distance and respect?  Never had that problem though she is good looking but always dresses appropriately. 

- Does the Thai girl show disinterest when approached by an interested Western male, and does she decline to get involved with needless chat and refuse to give out her cell phone number etc? In my experience Thai girls do not like to say “no” to a phone number request, even if they have no intention to start a romance.  She knows how to say no but has not been hassled.

- Will she adjust to the new Western culture, without convenient food vendors offering food and fresh fruits wherever you turn?    Yes but still enjoys eating out at Thai restaurants and cooks Thai food daily.

- Will she get used to the Western middle class suburbia, without taxies and people walking around in the neighborhoods? Things may be very quite and boring compared to sanok Thailand.  Yes, but she must have her own car, access to the internet, time at the Buddahist temple and some even need Thai cable TV.  Don't forget to get her a dog that can live in the house. 

- Do you have any other cultural comments to help to set me straight on whether to bring my future wife to America or not?  I believe Thais get along well in places like California, Washington State, Hawaii, Austin, Ft Worth and Dallas Texas.  I don't think my wife would like living in the country (small town with no Thai community or Thai food) so , to me,  it really depends on her and  specifically where you want to take her.  We are thinking of moving to Thailand when I retire but she is a little negative on the idea and just wants to vacation there.  Good luck.  :o

So many Thai GFs get depressed after leaving Thailand that I'm never sure whether to be happy or sad for them. How some of you guys can accurately pick a Thai GF who can adjust is a mystery to me. What do most of you look for?

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Its best to keep her in LOS as the pitfalls taking her back home are too numerous to mention.

But Most Irritating of all especialy if you live in say sunny California or some place similar is this fear they have of exposing 1 inch of skin to the sun ! They are terrified ,petrified of the sun . They are like "Morlocks"

This means that you can never engage in outdoor pursuits together like swimming ,tennis ,cycling,skating  etc

without her being wrapped up like a mummy !

You will be outside enjoying the sun and she will be skulking in the gloom somewhere on her own , watching TV .   problems right away !

Its really a nuisance if you like outdoor pursuits as you cannot get over this problem . they have a mental block about this . as far as they are concerned dark skin means "PEASANT" and they dont want to know about exposure to sunlight AT ALL ! .

you will have to go swimming after sundown .

I havent seen this problem with other asian women only Thais and it is a damned nuisance unless you like hanging around in the gloom inside all summer long .

This is a major problem with Thai women not to mention many others . :o

at least from my experience this is correct. White skin seemed to be highy prized among at least some Thai women, and many will go to great lengths to avoid direct sunlight. My wife would never, ever do any outdoor activity that involved being in the sun for more than a few minutes...she always has an umbrella handy, or at least long sleeved shirt and a hat. Unforuntately for her, just a few hours in the sun will turn her as brown as a chesnut, costing her weeks of sun-avoidance. It all has to do with not wanting to appear like a "laborer" or "farmer" (neither of which anyone could EVER confuse my wife for). This sounds bad, but like other differences, we have adjusted. It does mean that there are certain things we either don't do, or I do alone (for example, I don't golf, but if I do, I would be on my own...same goes for hitting the beach, riding a bike, etc). I am fine with this, but there are some people that this could present a serious problem to...

You guys sure must not get out much. Try going to a golf course in Thailand some day. You will find it full of Thai women (including my wife) and I don't mean the caddies. Granted, just like the caddies, they will be covered in long sleeves and big hats, but if you know much about skin cancer, that actually makes sense.

TH

Edited by thaihome
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... Many 'good' women are not good women and many bar girls are angels. I have said it before and will say it again... The best human being I met in my life was a prostitute. ...

I agree with you there are always exception to the rules.

However, I still will not forget the night when the "entertainment girl" answered her cell phone and rushed to the bathroom and told me to be quite. I heard her say things like: "I love you", "I am good girl" etc. She told me later she is engaged to marry and will fly to Europe next month!

IMG_2658.jpg

I have dated a number of straight girls, and I can tell you first hand nothing like the bar-girl cell phone has happened with them. However, I have a good friend that lives in Thailand. He tells me his bar-girls have 'often' been talking to their husband or fiancée on the cell phone while in the middle of <deleted>..ing!!! I have never seen or heard this with straight girls.

However, we all milk our own cows - and I think some men have shutters on their eyes. You are welcome to marry a bar-girl. It is your life - not mine.

Well, I was dating a non-bar girl at one time who was a real,... shall we say, interesting case. She would drop by my place, we had fun for the night adn she would head off to work in the morning. It was after a few pleasurable weeks of this I found out she was engaged to marry some poor British bloke who surely thought she was chaste.

Hey, I didn't complain and she was always a classy lady to be around in public as well. But her desires got the better of her, or I got the better of her, take your pick. She sure as heck wasn't working at a bar when I met her, so unless it was something in her past, she was an animal of desire, as are we all at times, and engaged or not, she was going to satisfy her hungers.

Ultimately, her visa came through and I am sure she is happily living life in the UK. Good on her.

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from the case histories i have heard over the years :

Thai and Philipino - high risk of failure

Singapore & HongKong - low risk of failure

maybe its a reflection of girls from poor countries and girls from more affluent societies , they have better education etc

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