Is Love Possible In Chiang Mai

[IanForbes]

I guess that depends somewhat on the background and class of the Mrs though.. And furthermore I think only those who are faithful themselves could have any rights to complain about it!

That is true, but Blinky Bill makes some good points. The average guy who falls in love in Thailand either can't or won't make Thailand his permanent home. That creates the problem that Bill refers to and I also mentioned. I've seen some very good marriages in Thailand between older guys and younger beautiful women. There is a guy whom I believe a lot of us here know whose lovely wife owns a bar with another gal. They have a great marriage and it shows when you see the two of them together. I won't mention names because I wouldn't want to embarrass either of them. So, I DO know it can work out. I just wish the best to all the other lovers. But, I also know the odds of it happening.

I've heard too many stories and it's not hard to read between the lines... Such as "I'm not married, but my wife is"...

[gpdjohn]

1. I found love in chiang mai. It was through a series of lucky events. Just wondered wh

ether anyone else was a fortunate.

2. Are you looking for love.

3. Do

you think that the dating scene is adequate in Chiangmai

4. erm................

cheese

another fool in thailand, maybe love in your eyes but in hers it will be your cash, take care of her and then family if she got kids start paying for them sending them to private school, and then the old chessnut that yours is different not a bar girl,no fool like a old or young fool, no it is not possable to find love with a thai, soon as money runs out you will be out as well,

I take it you got burned?

[IanForbes]

I take it you got burned?

Men all over the world get burned in a similar fashion. It's not unique to Thailand. There is an old but true saying... "A fool and his money are soon parted"

Unless the woman you are marrying has similar assets to you then marriage is a substantial financial and emotional risk. If you are willing to risk everything you own on the turn of a card then by all means go for it. But, don't complain when the inevitable happens. That is far different than a young couple with nothing that start out and build a life together. If something negative happens along the way then both spouses lose equally. Nothing is a guarantee and all you can do is play your cards right and hope for the best. Accept what losses you might take and learn from it.

[cmjantje]

I take it you got burned?

Men all over the world get burned in a similar fashion. It's not unique to Thailand. There is an old but true saying... "A fool and his money are soon parted"

Unless the woman you are marrying has similar assets to you then marriage is a substantial financial and emotional risk. If you are willing to risk everything you own on the turn of a card then by all means go for it. But, don't complain when the inevitable happens. That is far different than a young couple with nothing that start out and build a life together. If something negative happens along the way then both spouses lose equally. Nothing is a guarantee and all you can do is play your cards right and hope for the best. Accept what losses you might take and learn from it.

Isn't that true for whoever you marry where ever?

[WinnieTheKhwai]

another fool in thailand, maybe love in your eyes but in hers it will be your cash, take care of her and then family if she got kids start paying for them sending them to private school, and then the old chessnut that yours is different not a bar girl,no fool like a old or young fool, no it is not possable to find love with a thai, soon as money runs out you will be out as well,

Funny that. As all I (we) have are debts.. She's obviously not in it for the money!

I still don't quite understand how that land purchase is going to be paid exactly, it's a combination of putting some other land that her mum owns into the Government Land Bank (TKS, whatever) and then using the new land to apply some over-draft capital at a different bank and use that to ... .. whatever. While I don't understand it, I do understand that this is not a case of me handing over a couple saen baht because I don't have it!

So, erm, Think again. You're wrong if you think you can apply your sad experiences to other regular people who don't find their partners in bars, restaurants and similar.

Edited May 18, 2009 by WinnieTheKhwai

[BlackArtemis]

Ian: I believe it's actually closer to 60% for the first marriage now, and then it goes even higher as you say. The younger the couple, the higher and the lower the income the higher. Religion has no impact, positive or negative, on marriage rates in the US.

Blinky: yep, I know so many instances like that, My wife is waiting for her greencard now and we will live and work here but eventually make it back there.

I'm a bit jealous of you guys who have been able to spend 15+ years in Thailand.

[gatorhead333]

Once in a while Blinky Bill decides that his comment should be removed.

This is one of those very rare occasions.

But a little word of advice to all you young fellahs who come and get married to the love of your life in Chiang Mai and Thailand, beware!!

Don't go back to where you came from without the missus and expect her to remain faithful. 5 out of 10 will stray within a month, 3 out of 10 will stray within a week and 1 out of 10 will be shagging the alternative before the aircraft/bus/train leaves the station.

This is not based on assumption, it is based on personal experience from the outside looking in and waiting for the odd boyfriend/husband to leave.

And bugger, Valentino Rossi crashed out today.

stupid farangs god bless them with their support..

mr bill you are quite forgiving with respect to the thai bars girls and regular girls for that matter (if in fact any visitor really even gets close to meeting a regular thai girl while sitting in a bar or restaurant...many seem to think thye eet good girls while out and about but they really justs meet free lancers who work everywhere 24/7.. but that is another topic i think....

the #'s are probally closer to:4 out of 5 within a month .. 7 out of 10 have thai husbands ,boyfriends that they support thru farangs in the first place...and /or other second set of idiot farangs paying them locally and /or from abroad.

and lest not forget the ones that just want/loves/has to sleep with young farang/Thai men but accepts a "deal" or two from some lonely english or other farangs "40-65 year" old visitor that justs sold his house or something... poor lonely fools

Edited May 19, 2009 by gatorhead333

[ajarnpim]

You are making an ass out of yourself. Condone and look up calm down.

[gatorhead333]

You are making an ass out of yourself. Condone and look up calm down.

hey i know many of you have to take sloppy seconds when eating out all the time... so look up safe sex and suit up!!!...................................

when finding ur love in chiang mai

Edited May 19, 2009 by gatorhead333

[IanForbes]

You are making an ass out of yourself. Condone and look up calm down.

hey i know many of you have to take sloppy seconds when eating out all the time... so look up safe sex and suit up!!!...................................

when finding ur love in chiang mai

You are coming across as a religious zealot. There is no need to make coarse statements. It is you that brought up safe sex and condoms. Safe sex is always a wise thing to practise. But, safe sex isn't very safe if one or more of the spouses are playing around. What you are suggesting is that all single men (or women for that matter) remain celibate. I'm sorry, that is just not in the cards for most of us confirmed bachelors. Whether I use the word "condone" or I use the words: Pardon, forgive, overlook or agree with, it all means the same. I've said it many times that if someone is married then they shouldn't play around. But, that is only MY opinion. And again I'll say, whatever agreement a married couple comes up with then that is between the spouses involved and not me or you.

And, the original topic was about LOVE. A swinging life style will kill any love that might have been between a couple... even if they both agree to it.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Absolutley priceless... All this condone-talk makes me hungry. (Or was that calzone.. )

Edited May 19, 2009 by WinnieTheKhwai

[sk1max]

Been married for 8 years........my wife ia a bit of a bitch if the truth be told

[gpdjohn]

I'd like to know who half the Presidents were?

Kennedy was banging Monroe

Clinton spewed on Monica's dress and then lied under oath 'bout it. ( perfect lawyer, eh )

Eisenhower was with his sexretary in the big one. (WW2, but wasn't the president then )

Come on, name 'em.

and next trip over for ya, I'll buy ya a Molson.

One of your PM's ( back in the 70's I think ) sure had a nice lookin' wife and I remember a pic of her spreadin for the camera..he has the same name as a cartoonist in the US and married a woman named Jane .

[ajarnpim]

Been married for 8 years........my wife ia a bit of a bitch if the truth be told

i really cant condom condone cohock contemplate this last post

my idea with starting post was to talk about LOVE.

But even love on this forum turns into an argument.

This topic needs more females.

[gatorhead333]

You are making an ass out of yourself. Condone and look up calm down.

hey i know many of you have to take sloppy seconds when eating out all the time... so look up safe sex and suit up!!!...................................

when finding ur love in chiang mai

You are coming across as a religious zealot. There is no need to make coarse statements. It is you that brought up safe sex and condoms. Safe sex is always a wise thing to practise. But, safe sex isn't very safe if one or more of the spouses are playing around. What you are suggesting is that all single men (or women for that matter) remain celibate. I'm sorry, that is just not in the cards for most of us confirmed bachelors. Whether I use the word "condone" or I use the words: Pardon, forgive, overlook or agree with, it all means the same. I've said it many times that if someone is married then they shouldn't play around. But, that is only MY opinion. And again I'll say, whatever agreement a married couple comes up with then that is between the spouses involved and not me or you.

And, the original topic was about LOVE. A swinging life style will kill any love that might have been between a couple... even if they both agree to it.

dudley, WHAT???celibate ?? again you the Pope or what????

i worry for you....

safe sex is what you practice because one or more of the spouses is f_cking around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... hard to belive i have to point this out to a grown man.. this is more what i had to do as a 6th grade biology teacher back in the ancient days.. i worry for you...

and if my trying to make the point in this chiang mai search for love thread that safe sex is a must when you are posting such absurb statements you are obviously clueless , not aware of what i am even talking about which is o.k. we are in CM.... but i justs can not condone this ... lack of understanding the basics is not to safe around here ..maybe read up a little

so you can get a better grip on your package!!!

p.s. you have never ever seen anything coarse on TV that stays up long.... .....

Edited May 19, 2009 by gatorhead333

[gatorhead333]

You are making an ass out of yourself. Condone and look up calm down.

hey i know many of you have to take sloppy seconds when eating out all the time... so look up safe sex and suit up!!!...................................

when finding ur love in chiang mai

You are coming across as a religious zealot. There is no need to make coarse statements. It is you that brought up safe sex and condoms. Safe sex is always a wise thing to practise. But, safe sex isn't very safe if one or more of the spouses are playing around. What you are suggesting is that all single men (or women for that matter) remain celibate. I'm sorry, that is just not in the cards for most of us confirmed bachelors. Whether I use the word "condone" or I use the words: Pardon, forgive, overlook or agree with, it all means the same. I've said it many times that if someone is married then they shouldn't play around. But, that is only MY opinion. And again I'll say, whatever agreement a married couple comes up with then that is between the spouses involved and not me or you.

And, the original topic was about LOVE. A swinging life style will kill any love that might have been between a couple... even if they both agree to it.

dude , hate to bring this up to you in your fragile state but love and sex kinda go together for the not so confirmed bachelors.....

and praise our lords .... yeh i must be quite a religious z-lot... oh yeh .. you did not say that u condone.. u said that u did not condone which is negative the opposite of what you posted . and you are the one that condones even reccomends "swinging life style" my words in your previous post if you read what you wrote up there....

Edited May 19, 2009 by gatorhead333

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Gator, change your meds.

Urgently.

[gatorhead333]

You are making an ass out of yourself. Condone and look up calm down.

hey i know many of you have to take sloppy seconds when eating out all the time... so look up safe sex and suit up!!!...................................

when finding ur love in chiang mai

You are coming across as a religious zealot. There is no need to make coarse statements. It is you that brought up safe sex and condoms. Safe sex is always a wise thing to practise. But, safe sex isn't very safe if one or more of the spouses are playing around. What you are suggesting is that all single men (or women for that matter) remain celibate. I'm sorry, that is just not in the cards for most of us confirmed bachelors. Whether I use the word "condone" or I use the words: Pardon, forgive, overlook or agree with, it all means the same. I've said it many times that if someone is married then they shouldn't play around. But, that is only MY opinion. And again I'll say, whatever agreement a married couple comes up with then that is between the spouses involved and not me or you.

And, the original topic was about LOVE. A swinging life style will kill any love that might have been between a couple... even if they both agree to it.

dude , hate to bring this up to you in your fragile state but love and sex kinda go together for the not so confirmed bachelors.....

and praise our lords .... yeh i must be quite a religious z-lot... oh yeh .. you did not say that u condone.. u said that u did not condone which is negative the opposite of what you posted . and you are the one that condones even reccomends "swinging life style" my words in your previous post if you read what you wrote up there....

i nominate the red line in post above as the stupidest, most unlearned ,scary single line posted on TV this month....

a new thread is needed to explore this foolish statement .

[BlackArtemis]

I hope that when this thread gets locked, the mod says "I just can condone behavior like this". That would be priceless.

[nicksal37]

I agree with Gatorhead333 this has got to to be one of the most stupidest posts this month.Where are you Blinky Bill when we need you?

[eek]

Been married for 8 years........my wife ia a bit of a bitch if the truth be told

i really cant condom condone cohock contemplate this last post

my idea with starting post was to talk about LOVE.

But even love on this forum turns into an argument.

This topic needs more females.

...seems this happens a lot these days. Threads going this way. I used to think the CM forum was one of the forums in TV that didnt go down this route much. This is why I havent replied to your topic. I already figured that it would turn negative and dont care for my own relationship/perspective being dissected and ripped to shreds. Totally unnecessary. This is also why I have also decided not to go along to the thaivisa bbq party. Although im sure there are many many nice people (in fact I know some from Thaivisa already who are lovely), Im happy having a quiet life, and have no wish to be around argumentative people.

(I am not saying anyone is right or wrong in this thread..i just personally cant stand that everything turns into a flaming match.)

But, without going into personal detail, I would say yes, of course its possible to find love in Chiang Mai. Same as anywhere else, just depends on the individuals.

[IanForbes]

There is no sense in me arguing with gatorhead. We look at things from polarized points of view. But, we do agree on one thing and that is practising safe sex. The original question was is love possible in Chiang Mai and I believe I gave some valid reasons why it might be, but also pointed out the risks that many of us have experienced personally and observed all around us. All I hope for is that people who actually fall in love, and not just lust, have an open mind when it comes to the risks financially and emotionally.

I'm not so hard nosed as Blinky Bill in regards to Thai wives straying as soon as a farang leaves for home, but I've seen that happen all too frequently. All I wanted to point out is that it IS a risk for farangs to marry a pretty Thai women and then go back home alone for months at a time.

[Blinky Bill]

I agree with Gatorhead333 this has got to to be one of the most stupidest posts this month.Where are you Blinky Bill when we need you?

Well it's nice to know there are others out there who can make more inane posts than I.

Ajarnpim (who definately dislikes us dirty, sad, old perverts) takes the cake, perhaps she has been jilted, or worse, never found love and totally ignored by the male population.

[IanForbes]

Ajarnpim (who definately dislikes us dirty, sad, old perverts) takes the cake, perhaps she has been jilted, or worse, never found love and totally ignored by the male population.

I haven't read anything on this thread where Ajarnpim says she doesn't like us old perverts, so I won't respond to that. And, even if she doesn't like us she is entitled to her opinion. She is after all a women and women just naturally don't like the freedom of the Thai bar scene for men. Adjarnpim asked a legitimate question about love, for which she got some legitimate replies. She also mentioned that she HAD found love and for that I am happy for her.

Quote: "my idea with starting post was to talk about LOVE.

But even love on this forum turns into an argument.

This topic needs more females."

The topic of love can be far different when viewed from a male's perspective as compared to a female's perspective.

And yes, the topic DOES need more female's perspective. Unfortunately, woman can be a little more thin skinned than men when it comes to criticism, and there IS a lot of criticism on these forums. But, that is just a generalization and not specific to anyone here.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Come on, the OP was trolling. It's fun to run with it and have some banter around, but honestly, look at the question. "Is love possible in XYZ'"... I'd like to hear a location where love is impossible!

Too bad the topic didn't truly take off in the right direction. Kind of like a Bang Fai rocket misfire. Someone ended up in the mud anyway.

[doppa]

the original thread should have said 'can love be found', putting into towns , cities , countries , the world, mars [ if you happen to be a martian, and come from roswell], its a to of a general question, some can, some do,some will, some won't, some never, its too broad a reply, for all the reasons that makes us human.

we can of course only talk about our personal experiences in the countries we've lived in, where romance, love, lust has connected with our lives.

european women v thai women, now thats more of a realistic question, what are the differences.....any takers [i've got my own thoughts, i'll just let someone else start first]

[eek]

european women v thai women, now thats more of a realistic question, what are the differences.....any takers [i've got my own thoughts, i'll just let someone else start first]

A more realistic question? In what way? Main difference that i can think of is that Thai women are usually from Thailand, European women are ...well..from Europe.

But, seems so far off the original topic..and im confident that many variations on this question have been covered in this forum since its doors first opened. If you do a search im sure you will have heafty reading. But, by all means give your own thoughts...

[eek]

Ajarnpim (who definately dislikes us dirty, sad, old perverts) takes the cake, perhaps she has been jilted, or worse, never found love and totally ignored by the male population.

I haven't read anything on this thread where Ajarnpim says she doesn't like us old perverts, so I won't respond to that. And, even if she doesn't like us she is entitled to her opinion. She is after all a women and women just naturally don't like the freedom of the Thai bar scene for men. Adjarnpim asked a legitimate question about love, for which she got some legitimate replies. She also mentioned that she HAD found love and for that I am happy for her.

Quote: "my idea with starting post was to talk about LOVE.

But even love on this forum turns into an argument.

This topic needs more females."

The topic of love can be far different when viewed from a male's perspective as compared to a female's perspective.

And yes, the topic DOES need more female's perspective. Unfortunately, woman can be a little more thin skinned than men when it comes to criticism, and there IS a lot of criticism on these forums. But, that is just a generalization and not specific to anyone here.

Personally I dont think about the bar scene here. But, at the same time, I dont have deep friendships with men here who are involved in the bar scene. The men I would consider good friends here are in "regular" relationships with women (of course this may cause the cynics to say that those men probably indulge in sex on the side, but I will let those who think that way carry on with their thinking. For whatever reason, some find it truly hard to believe that a man (or woman) will not play around on their partner). On average I think generally the men who are involved regularly with bg's seem to be or become a bit different. I think its better that i stop there though, because i dont wish to offend. Im just saying that friendship-wise I relate better to regular guys, who are educated and are in regular relationships.

As I said, i do think its possible to find love. But, depends where you look for it too. Usually love isnt found via your wallet.

Edit: Oh, and "freedom" of the bar scene is a matter of perspective too.

Edited May 20, 2009 by eek

[meadish_sweetball]

I'd like to hear a location where love is impossible!

A castration clinic?

[doppa]

Ajarnpim (who definately dislikes us dirty, sad, old perverts) takes the cake, perhaps she has been jilted, or worse, never found love and totally ignored by the male population.

I haven't read anything on this thread where Ajarnpim says she doesn't like us old perverts, so I won't respond to that. And, even if she doesn't like us she is entitled to her opinion. She is after all a women and women just naturally don't like the freedom of the Thai bar scene for men. Adjarnpim asked a legitimate question about love, for which she got some legitimate replies. She also mentioned that she HAD found love and for that I am happy for her.

Quote: "my idea with starting post was to talk about LOVE.

But even love on this forum turns into an argument.

This topic needs more females."

The topic of love can be far different when viewed from a male's perspective as compared to a female's perspective.

And yes, the topic DOES need more female's perspective. Unfortunately, woman can be a little more thin skinned than men when it comes to criticism, and there IS a lot of criticism on these forums. But, that is just a generalization and not specific to anyone here.

Personally I dont think about the bar scene here. But, at the same time, I dont have deep friendships with men here who are involved in the bar scene. The men I would consider good friends here are in "regular" relationships with women (of course this may cause the cynics to say that those men probably indulge in sex on the side, but I will let those who think that way carry on with their thinking. For whatever reason, some find it truly hard to believe that a man (or woman) will not play around on their partner). On average I think generally the men who are involved regularly with bg's seem to be or become a bit different. I think its better that i stop there though, because i dont wish to offend. Im just saying that friendship-wise I relate better to regular guys, who are educated and are in regular relationships.

As I said, i do think its possible to find love. But, depends where you look for it too. Usually love isnt found via your wallet.

Edit: Oh, and "freedom" of the bar scene is a matter of perspective too.

sorry but, looking for love seldom happens, it finds you!