Help For Girl To Leave Oldest Profession

[Lancashirelad]

I understand there is government help (and funding?) available for girls who genuinely want to get out of the game. Retraining? Help with funding? Support.

Anyone know who/where to contact to start the ball rolling?

This isn't about some girl I just met yesterday, have known her & family some years. She is 31.

Please post only fact, not hearsay.

[Mario2008]

Contact the pavena foundation, it's an organisation to help woman and children and they will direct you in the right order.

http://www.pavena.thai.com/efound.html

There are sevral organisations that help woman with getting an education in BKK and might be of use.

[SNGLIFE]

I understand there is government help (and funding?) available for girls who genuinely want to get out of the game. Retraining? Help with funding? Support.

Anyone know who/where to contact to start the ball rolling?

This isn't about some girl I just met yesterday, have known her & family some years. She is 31.

Please post only fact, not hearsay.

I've been down this road in the past. She may follow through with the help, but the bottom line is that if she does not get support from her family, she will still need to come up with x baht to pay the bills. I eventually realized that the family was the problem, not her. Unless they are on board or unless she is willing to abandon them, you are in for some frustration and disappointment even if she is able to find help getting out of the biz. Good luck.

[tropo]

Anyone know who/where to contact to start the ball rolling?

This isn't about some girl I just met yesterday, have known her & family some years. She is 31.

Please post only fact, not hearsay

Let nature take it's course. At 31 she's on her way out anyway.

[imaneggspurt]

It will be a thankless task, most want to be there ,like homing pigeons,

[BigSnake]

Why? Some might really want to leave the Profession, but that Lure on easy money from a rich fat old farang will reel them in everytime, this is a Fact my friend like it or not

[Chang_paarp]

So your girl is different.........

Best to check a few things.

• Can she read and write? I know a few bar girls who cannot read or write Thai to any great level (left school at grade 4), so to get them to move on a basic education is a start.
  
• As asked above, who is depending on her to keep food on the table? If it is babies and/or mum and dad, you will need to plan a different source of income cos their needs come first.
  
• Does she have drug and alcohol problems? The life style of bar workers who rely on being bought drinks to add to their income is not good for sobriety.
  
• Does she have a plan of what to do after the bar? How is she going to achieve this goal?
  

Government help? I think you will have to look long and hard for that in Thailand. Better to find an NGO. Some Christian organizations will help, there is a Christian place on soi25 Pattaya Nakeua Rd that has training facilities for women, they teach hair dressing, dress making, massage and some computer skills, but it costs money. I took a bar girl there and offered her the opportunity, needed more money.

Just remember you are kuhn Jai Dii, and will need to help.

[MJo]

Easiest way is to marry her, pay 1M sin sod and build a nice 3M baht house in her home village.

But seriously, she needs to come up with the money somehow, as others say the main problem is how she can continue to provide for the family.

[Lancashirelad]

Hi guys thanks for your input.

Mario: Looking at the Pavena foundation, i'm not sure they are suitable for this issue, also it seems they are difficult to contact. See here:

I wrote a long reply thanking you all, answering questions, etc. It failed to post & I've lost it.

will rewrite it when i have time, bit busy this week.

Edited June 15, 2009 by Lancashirelad

[Shotime]

"I eventually realized that the family was the problem, not her. Unless they are on board or unless she is willing to abandon them, you are in for some frustration and disappointment even if she is able to find help getting out of the biz."

Depending on the woman, 31 can still be young.

I eventually realized the girl was the problem, not the family, and it's the biz that makes it difficult to recover. I like to call it the life, and it's not necessarily a fat, old farang, and it's not always about money.

I was seeing a girl in Bangkok, and I asked a countryman if he thought she could ever recover. Without hesitation, he said "Impossible." He was younger than me, and just as stupid, but I believe he was right. Short of a miracle.

Edited June 15, 2009 by Shotime

[cognos]

I understand there is government help (and funding?) available for girls who genuinely want to get out of the game. Retraining? Help with funding? Support.

Anyone know who/where to contact to start the ball rolling?

This isn't about some girl I just met yesterday, have known her & family some years. She is 31.

Please post only fact, not hearsay.

helping with support is easy...its YOU..with retraining there are places in BKK that do that..I had the info..will keep looking and let you know if I find something...

[torrenova]

As an employer of many over the years I was often asked this question and sometimes even had the girls dancing around the subject as well. Friends who were working girls would sometimes be very open about it but the end result is almost universally the same. Once the bullshit lies and excuses for getting into the game are brushed aside, what you are left with is the lure of easy money, getting away from the family and / or village, being able to "morally" dump their relatively unwanted kids and the freedom. Add in an underlying laziness, a requirement for instant gratification rather than saving and a total inability to function as a normal adult and you have a very desperate proposition. Often there are booze and drug (less common) issues but the love of the nightlife is insatiable.

You can't send them back to the village and expect them to sleep when dark and wake with the cockrel 365 days a year. Yet you cannot keep them in the cities as they are moths to the flame. For many, there is no solution. Throwing money at them will not work, it didn't when they were hookers did it ?

I would tell them to remain as part time hookers and get a regular job, turning tricks until they could earn an income of sorts, perhaps after college. But they have to know they are looking at 10k a month tops and less than that usually.

To be honest, unless you have some serious motive to help, just leave them be and let them drift into whatever they do. For 99%+ there is no salvation.

[tropo]

Why? Some might really want to leave the Profession,

Some may pay lip service to the notion of leaving (mostly to gain sympathy), but a 31 year old who has been in it for years is hooked. Laziness and easy money is the addiction.

There are far more worthy charities. The girls are not doing it as tough as many think.

Edited June 20, 2009 by tropo

[patklang]

As an employer of many over the years I was often asked this question and sometimes even had the girls dancing around the subject as well. Friends who were working girls would sometimes be very open about it but the end result is almost universally the same. Once the bullshit lies and excuses for getting into the game are brushed aside, what you are left with is the lure of easy money, getting away from the family and / or village, being able to "morally" dump their relatively unwanted kids and the freedom. Add in an underlying laziness, a requirement for instant gratification rather than saving and a total inability to function as a normal adult and you have a very desperate proposition. Often there are booze and drug (less common) issues but the love of the nightlife is insatiable.

You can't send them back to the village and expect them to sleep when dark and wake with the cockrel 365 days a year. Yet you cannot keep them in the cities as they are moths to the flame. For many, there is no solution. Throwing money at them will not work, it didn't when they were hookers did it ?

I would tell them to remain as part time hookers and get a regular job, turning tricks until they could earn an income of sorts, perhaps after college. But they have to know they are looking at 10k a month tops and less than that usually.

To be honest, unless you have some serious motive to help, just leave them be and let them drift into whatever they do. For 99%+ there is no salvation.

100% spot on,and the other problem is that they actualy hate sex too,but have to act for the punter,so how can they have a serious relationship.

[britmaveric]

Hmmm if she wants to leave I'm quite certain she is capable enough to do so without assistance. It's just leaving one job for another job. However she is the one who has to decide this - what do they say you can lead a horse to water, but can't make them drink???

[Unfaithful]

I took mine out of the go/go joint and made him my Sammi Noi.Too soon to tell if he goes back.Sex for pay was all he ever knew.

[Bpraim1]

You can take the Thai girl out of the Bar

But you can't take the bar out of a Thai girl.

[sbk]

we-train

[tropo]

100% spot on,and the other problem is that they actualy hate sex too,but have to act for the punter,so how can they have a serious relationship.

Do you really believe this?

This is an incorrect generalisation because it depends on who they are with. A lot of bargirls are addicted nymphos. They get paid for doing what they enjoy.

[britmaveric]

^yes I'd have to agree with tropo - the ones I know love their work and the shag too. (part of the reason they do not want to quit)

[tartempion]

To be honest, unless you have some serious motive to help, just leave them be and let them drift into whatever they do. For 99%+ there is no salvation.

But looking back at 20 years of travels to LOS I must have met over a thousand BG's who married some farang.

Are you sure they only are in for the fast money day by day?

To the OP: many inexpensive schools: cooking, barber, massage (Wat Po)

But she must be motivated, and there lies the problem.

Edited June 20, 2009 by tartempion

[Shotime]

Often there are booze and drug (less common) issues but the love of the nightlife is insatiable.

I was always hesitant to bring this into the discussion, as I really don't know. However, my understanding is that drugs and sex are a very big part of their problem. Of course, it always depends on the girl. I've met girls who don't use drugs, but who doesn't enjoy sex? (I may be wrong here, but these girls stay in the business for a few years, and then go home when they've made enough money to stop.) That part depends on the man, and the situation. Then there's the girls who use drugs (how many, I don't know. But I've been told it's a large %), and love sex. It's a very complicated situation. Generalizations will always get you in trouble. However, the rest of your post made sense to me. I can't speak for the rest of you, but I can see where the girls are coming from. The real problem is they have no where to go, and have no idea what to do when they want out.

[zorro1]

Often there are booze and drug (less common) issues but the love of the nightlife is insatiable.

I was always hesitant to bring this into the discussion, as I really don't know. However, my understanding is that drugs and sex are a very big part of their problem. Of course, it always depends on the girl. I've met girls who don't use drugs, but who doesn't enjoy sex? (I may be wrong here, but these girls stay in the business for a few years, and then go home when they've made enough money to stop.) That part depends on the man, and the situation. Then there's the girls who use drugs (how many, I don't know. But I've been told it's a large %), and love sex. It's a very complicated situation. Generalizations will always get you in trouble. However, the rest of your post made sense to me. I can't speak for the rest of you, but I can see where the girls are coming from. The real problem is they have no where to go, and have no idea what to do when they want out.

Great post nothing more to add you nailed it

[meelousee]

This is the toughest thing to overcome.

In the late 70's I owned a bar on Patpong, sold out in late 83. Opened another on Soi 22 Sukumv. sold out in 2004.

I have seen all types sizes and shapes of bar girls from every nook and cranny in Thailand. I have seen them from all economic sectors, from the ultra poor to the elite privileged.

The underlying factors include; excitement, power & control, rebellion, and the all time favorite money.

There is an old saying you can take a girl out of a bar but you cannot take the bar out of the girl.

1 case point, a girl named Nid met a rich German, he took her out of Bangkok to ChaingMai sent her to German language school and then to Germany. After 9 years he got killed in an auto accident. She returned to Bangkok and went to work at Nana plaza, not in need of money but excitement, power & control.

Few ever over come greed, lust, and the need of excitement, power & control. Those who do are very smart and stubborn and pointing them in the direction you think they should go often fails.

HOW TO?

Well you cant do it.

She must do it on her own her way and all you can do is support HER ideas. The other information about where to get help is good and helpful. Christian centers, and a rescue outfit that operates on donations.

A good place to start is the International Justice Mission

Christian children's ministry This is a first contact place.

or Bill Lilley can be reached at 330-996-3811 or <snip>

I have done this about 200 times

Edited June 21, 2009 by soundman
Email address removed as per forum rules. Use PM system.

[maccaroni man]

As an employer of many over the years I was often asked this question and sometimes even had the girls dancing around the subject as well. Friends who were working girls would sometimes be very open about it but the end result is almost universally the same. Once the bullshit lies and excuses for getting into the game are brushed aside, what you are left with is the lure of easy money, getting away from the family and / or village, being able to "morally" dump their relatively unwanted kids and the freedom. Add in an underlying laziness, a requirement for instant gratification rather than saving and a total inability to function as a normal adult and you have a very desperate proposition. Often there are booze and drug (less common) issues but the love of the nightlife is insatiable.

You can't send them back to the village and expect them to sleep when dark and wake with the cockrel 365 days a year. Yet you cannot keep them in the cities as they are moths to the flame. For many, there is no solution. Throwing money at them will not work, it didn't when they were hookers did it ?

"you can take the girl out of the bar but you can not take the bar out of the girl"

I would tell them to remain as part time hookers and get a regular job, turning tricks until they could earn an income of sorts, perhaps after college. But they have to know they are looking at 10k a month tops and less than that usually.

To be honest, unless you have some serious motive to help, just leave them be and let them drift into whatever they do. For 99%+ there is no salvation.

[Shotime]

The best thing you can do is "save" yourself. Everything else will, logically, fall into place.

That being said, let's go have some fun.

Edited June 21, 2009 by raro
deleted one sentence that was a bit OTT

[tropo]

It's a normal Newbie reaction to start feeling sorry for the girls. The girls play on this and will try to convince a punter that they hate their work. This can really help with the cash flow (into the girl's pocket).

What do you expect?

They're not going to admit to anyone that they love their work, are they?

Of course not, that would sound perverse. They're always going to give the sob story and they become quite skilled at it too. Newbies fall for it every time.

None of these girls are forced to work in the bar and they don't have to. There's millions of girls not working in the bar and surviving quite well back in the provinces. Prostitution is the easy road, not the only road for them to take.

The ironic thing is that a large majority of members on here would probably not even be in Thailand if it weren't for the working girls...and then some want to start "saving" them.

This makes no sense at all. They wouldn't even be here if the "tourists" didn't require their services.

[gemdealers]

As an employer of many over the years I was often asked this question and sometimes even had the girls dancing around the subject as well. Friends who were working girls would sometimes be very open about it but the end result is almost universally the same. Once the bullshit lies and excuses for getting into the game are brushed aside, what you are left with is the lure of easy money, getting away from the family and / or village, being able to "morally" dump their relatively unwanted kids and the freedom. Add in an underlying laziness, a requirement for instant gratification rather than saving and a total inability to function as a normal adult and you have a very desperate proposition. Often there are booze and drug (less common) issues but the love of the nightlife is insatiable.

You can't send them back to the village and expect them to sleep when dark and wake with the cockrel 365 days a year. Yet you cannot keep them in the cities as they are moths to the flame. For many, there is no solution. Throwing money at them will not work, it didn't when they were hookers did it ?

I would tell them to remain as part time hookers and get a regular job, turning tricks until they could earn an income of sorts, perhaps after college. But they have to know they are looking at 10k a month tops and less than that usually.

To be honest, unless you have some serious motive to help, just leave them be and let them drift into whatever they do. For 99%+ there is no salvation.

Great reply. Let's not forget that most Thai girls are not hookers and those that are generally CHOOSE to be so.

[PTYstefan]

Often there are booze and drug (less common) issues but the love of the nightlife is insatiable.

I was always hesitant to bring this into the discussion, as I really don't know. However, my understanding is that drugs and sex are a very big part of their problem. Of course, it always depends on the girl. I've met girls who don't use drugs, but who doesn't enjoy sex? (I may be wrong here, but these girls stay in the business for a few years, and then go home when they've made enough money to stop.) That part depends on the man, and the situation. Then there's the girls who use drugs (how many, I don't know. But I've been told it's a large %), and love sex. It's a very complicated situation. Generalizations will always get you in trouble. However, the rest of your post made sense to me. I can't speak for the rest of you, but I can see where the girls are coming from. The real problem is they have no where to go, and have no idea what to do when they want out.

Great post nothing more to add you nailed it

i agree to this also...

[grahamhc]

Hi guys thanks for your input.

Mario: Looking at the Pavena foundation, i'm not sure they are suitable for this issue, also it seems they are difficult to contact. See here:

I wrote a long reply thanking you all, answering questions, etc. It failed to post & I've lost it.

will rewrite it when i have time, bit busy this week.

Word to the wise. I just had that happen to me on another thread, and

Before you hit send, save to clipbord, or better still, draft it in Notepad. Saves the blood pressure.

Back to this topic. I have a friend who has been off work due to illness, and far from support from her family, they have been nagging her to go back to work as they want her income. No sympathy or support from them, just hassle.