Mistaken Identity

[Boo]

sounds like your wife has the right attitude andymoss

[zaz]

This is a very interesting post. You ladies have my sympathy indeed and there are some really weird pervs out there!!! But you know at the same time I'm trying to work myself out - will I be classed as a pervert if I appreciate Thai ladies more than Western? - appearances-wise and not necessarily having been with one. Would you (farang girls) not agree that Thai girls (and also other girls of Far Eastern origin) are very striking in their looks?

Anyway sorry for digressing from the original topic...

[Boo]

that isn's really the topic in hand is it zaz, the ladies here are saying that they have been walking along minding their own business when they have been approached & propsitioned as a prostitute.

The rest of your query I think is a very obvious attempt at trolling. If it wasn't then you need to clarify what you mean, as I don't think that how a thai women looks has any relation to whether you would be veiwed as a pervert if you chose to date one.

[zaz]

Hi Boo - sorry I'm not familiar with "trolling"...

"I don't think that how a thai women looks has any relation to whether you would be veiwed as a pervert if you chose to date one"

Well there are many posts in other topics within this forum that support the view that Thai women seen with farang men are thought of as working girls and/or the guys they are with are punters...isn't that true? Even though they could be married etc What I'm trying to say is that if I find a Thai girl genuinely attractive and we date each other etc then when we are seen by others will I be classed as a perv and her a working girl..?

[Boo]

You should probably direct your question to the men in the general section as from my experience, most of the negative coments about thai women come from western men, not women.

[britmaveric]

Hi Boo - sorry I'm not familiar with "trolling"...

"I don't think that how a thai women looks has any relation to whether you would be veiwed as a pervert if you chose to date one"

Well there are many posts in other topics within this forum that support the view that Thai women seen with farang men are thought of as working girls and/or the guys they are with are punters...isn't that true?  Even though they could be married etc  What I'm trying to say is that if I find a Thai girl genuinely attractive and we date each other etc then when we are seen by others will I be classed as a perv and her a working girl..?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Not from me you won't!!! It might be the case that your a perv and she might be a prostitute, but I'm not one to make judgements - making an assumption can get you in hot water rather fast.

[zaz]

Yes I guess it's how people judge others purely on what they see on the face of it, which, of course, isn't right.

On the subject of mistaken identity I reckon this question "are you Russian" is an intention, not quite to be a pickup line, but an initiation of conversation that may lead to sexual services if the female party was actually of that profession....well I guess that is a pickup line then hey?!

Well what do you expect? After all there will be more pervs on the streets of BKK than anywhere else I know and they're all looking for the same (the pervs that is). The way they approach women will be as varied as the backgrounds they come from. Indians for example will just blatantly ask, others will be arrogant and others will just stare.

Guess you can't stop it really can you? But how would you avoid it? Bet I know...

Edited August 8, 2005 by zaz

[Ice Maiden]

I get the guys asking if I'm Russian. I also get the most common, "how much?" it makes me sick. I did feel some sympathy for one german though, his mates had been bugging him to speak to me for ages and when he came over he said the wrong thing..."what bar do you work at?" what a fool.

I told him I was an english tourist and pointed to my Dad. He soon cleared off. The really big fat guys scare me though.

[zaz]

It is quite unfortunate and I can understand how enfuriating it must be for you. The thing is it's one of those things that just isn't going to stop. Best thing is not to take it personally and just dismiss it (easier said than done I guess).

[kat]

Zata, it is a common male misconception that rape is somehow about sex, that a woman is just too sexy or inappropriately dressed and that is what leads to her rape. Men will rape little old grannies in their beds, so clearly rape is not about sexual appeal but it is about sexual power. 

And toni, don't you find it a bit umm, ironic that you are unhappy that your Thai girlfriend is perceived as a prostitute but a farang girl who is seen as one is done so because she is inappropriately dressed? You don't find that a tad, say, hypocritical at all?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, rape is about power and violence a lot of the time. But there is also situational rape and abuse, and that is very common here in Thailand.

[meadish_sweetball]

Oops. That was off topic. Shame on me.

[SiamOne]

This is a very interesting post.  You ladies have my sympathy indeed and there are some really weird pervs out there!!!  But you know at the same time I'm trying to work myself out - will I be classed as a pervert if I appreciate Thai ladies more than Western?  - appearances-wise and not necessarily having been with one.  Would you (farang girls) not agree that Thai girls (and also other girls of Far Eastern origin) are very striking in their looks?

Anyway sorry for digressing from the original topic...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

blimey, what nonsense that is!! I can understand some men preferring Thai women to Farang versions (being married to Farang myself), but the rest is a bit rascist really. Some Thai women are very striking, as are some Farangs. Some are ugly too, from each population, so stop the generalisation.

so you are not a pervert, but maybe a bit narrow minded

[SiamOne]

sounds like your wife has the right attitude andymoss

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yes, she has....that's me!1

[NextStationBangkok]

I was getting my ticket at the BTS station when an Indian guy followed me and asked me if I came from Russia.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You simply blame Indians !!!

I have some questions....

In Bangkok how do you identify an American/British/German or a Russian?

In Europe how do you identify a Thai/Chinese/Vietnamese or a Cambodian?

Do you know people originated from Middle East to Bangladesh have a similar look what you call Indians?

Next time as you claim if a Indian looking guy approach you asking "Are you from Russia ?" you ask him back, where he is from and post here.

If you have mobile with camera take a picture and complain to police.

Indians have better job to do in their own country.

[LoveDaBlues]

The really big fat guys scare me though.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Heck, you can outrun them!

[Boo]

SiamOne  Today, 2005-08-10 03:45:55 IP: 210.19.243.66 | Post #73| 

QUOTE(Boo @ 2005-08-08 17:35:59)

sounds like your wife has the right attitude andymoss

yes, she has....that's me!1   

Welcome to the forum SiamOne.

[zaz]

This is a very interesting post.  You ladies have my sympathy indeed and there are some really weird pervs out there!!!  But you know at the same time I'm trying to work myself out - will I be classed as a pervert if I appreciate Thai ladies more than Western?  - appearances-wise and not necessarily having been with one.  Would you (farang girls) not agree that Thai girls (and also other girls of Far Eastern origin) are very striking in their looks?

Anyway sorry for digressing from the original topic...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

blimey, what nonsense that is!! I can understand some men preferring Thai women to Farang versions (being married to Farang myself), but the rest is a bit rascist really. Some Thai women are very striking, as are some Farangs. Some are ugly too, from each population, so stop the generalisation.

so you are not a pervert, but maybe a bit narrow minded

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I wouldn't say it was nonsense at all, there are a lot of guys who prefer Thai women to others. I agree, however, that there are beautiful women from all races, countries or ethnic origins of course so I guess my comment about Thai women was a little generalistic for which I apologise. I'm not a complete pervert (perhaps a little...!) but narrow-minded was a bit of a punch Siam One...ouch

[figaro]

On the subject of mistaken identity I reckon this question "are you Russian" is an intention, not quite to be a pickup line, but an initiation of conversation that may lead to sexual services if the female party was actually of that profession....well I guess that is a pickup line then hey?!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It's pretty easy for any woman to stop 'pervs' / pick up artists, dead in their tracks.

A response could be: "No, I'm not Russian and my nationality is none of your business" .

The persistent 'perv ' / pick up artist, who insists on inviting a woman for dinner can almost always be discarded by the woman saying: "No, I'm having dinner with my boy friend / husband / lady lover (if lesbian)".

I'm a man, and can say with almost 100% certainty that men will almost never approach a woman unless they perceive , or imagine, some sort of "come on" from a woman . Additionally, there are so very many opportunities for ANY man

to get female company in Bangkok , that it's difficult to imagine a male wasting his efforts on a specific woman if she appears unavailable.

As to the contention that Indians are to blame for undesirable pick up efforts, there may, or, may not, be any truth to it - a reason could be that there is comparatively less social interaction between the sexes in India, so Indians are not subtle in their (pick up) efforts, which are some times; crude. The same argument applies to Arabs and men from the middle east, generally.

I have a young , and attractive , niece, who looks European (although we're not) who for some strange reason is often asked "Want boy?" by Thais, when wandering alone in shopping malls. She pretends that she doesn't know English and replies in her native tounge, which no Thai understands. This strategy has ALWAYS worked in shedding unwanted propositions.

[thaibebop]

All I have heard so far confirms my belief that a man should never talk to a woman unless you have been introduced or are in the apropraite enviroment for such interactions.

Every time a man has to put himself on the spot to talk to a lady he makes an ass of himself. Some guys know this, which seems to be the kind of guys this forum is addressing. Other guys just mess it up, and come off in a bad way.

If a guy can't learn to keep himself from looking stupid, he most likely is.

[Boo]

I think there is a difference between approaching a women in an acceptable enviroment (bar, club, restaurant etc) and chatting her up in a polite manner & accepting it if she turns you down & completely different if a woman is approached & propositioned whilst walking down the street & esp. if the guy wont take no for an answer but agree that a quick no & walking away should work for most of these pests.

[thaibebop]

I think there is a difference between approaching a women in an acceptable enviroment (bar, club, restaurant etc) and chatting her up in a polite manner & accepting it if she turns you down &  completely different if a woman is approached & propositioned whilst walking down the street & esp. if the guy wont take no for an answer but agree that a quick no & walking away should work for most of these pests.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

But why even walk up to a lady and say anything? That's the stuff I never liked. Guys trying to talk to women just to talk to women, becuase maybe they can get somewhere. Losers.

Why can't men wait for the right time? Why force converison, if it happens it happens, right? Guys act like if they are not having sex, about to have sex, or working on having sex something is wrong. So, they always put themselves in postitions of stupidity for the sake of getting a phone number or dinner date. Isn't better to just go home with your self respect than make an ass of yourself?

Maybe that's the problem? Men don't have self-respect.

[sbk]

I'm a man, and can say with almost 100% certainty that men will almost never approach a woman unless they perceive , or imagine, some sort of "come on" from a woman . Additionally,  there are so very many opportunities for ANY  man

to get female company in Bangkok , that it's difficult to imagine a male wasting his efforts  on a specific woman if she appears unavailable.

Try removing the word "perceive" and keeping in just the "imagine", shall you? I am a woman and have been hit upon numerous times when I certainly was NOT sending out signals to anyone. Two girls staying with us had two guys so persistently annoying them that they ended up telling them they were lesbians just so they would be left alone. That is extreme to a degree.

I don't go anywhere near Sukhumvit (thank god) but certainly would have a few choice words for anyone who had the temerity to harass me, had enough of that as a teenage girl and I certainly won't put up with it anymore.

[Bob Karl]

I live in the heart of Sukhumvit and enjoy it immensely. I notice so many farang ladies around here really having a great time. They are obviously mainly tourists but they are here and they love it. Sometimes I will see what appears to be a knockout farang girl; I will then walk by and hear the Russian accent. Of the times I have seen this, the girl is always accompanied by a customer

[Martin]

well if it's farang women being mistaken for russian working girls,

or honest thai women being mistaken for a thai working girl,

Or a honest thai woman in a farang country being mistaking for a working girl

Or a european man in his home country being mistaken for a sex tourist because he has a thai wife.

The trick is to not listen to small minded people and tell them to back off. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There are much better words than Back off Dark...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

On the point of "Or a honest thai woman in a farang country being mistaking for a working girl", I am pig-sick of this happening.

The worst example was at Heathrow when we presented our passports to the Entry Officer on the first time that my wife came with me to England. If it happens again, my better words will be "Please call your supervisor" ---who will show his i.d. and promise a written apology from the Home Office, or the matter will go higher and higher, there and then.

A frend in Warrington was with his (Thai) wife in a supermarket, and some cretin asked him "How much did she cost you, then?". Quick as a flash, his wife answered for him "More than you could ever afford"!!! The cretin was left standing gobsmacked.

[thaibebop]

well if it's farang women being mistaken for russian working girls,

or honest thai women being mistaken for a thai working girl,

Or a honest thai woman in a farang country being mistaking for a working girl

Or a european man in his home country being mistaken for a sex tourist because he has a thai wife.

The trick is to not listen to small minded people and tell them to back off. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There are much better words than Back off Dark...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

On the point of "Or a honest thai woman in a farang country being mistaking for a working girl", I am pig-sick of this happening.

The worst example was at Heathrow when we presented our passports to the Entry Officer on the first time that my wife came with me to England. If it happens again, my better words will be "Please call your supervisor" ---who will show his i.d. and promise a written apology from the Home Office, or the matter will go higher and higher, there and then.

A frend in Warrington was with his (Thai) wife in a supermarket, and some cretin asked him "How much did she cost you, then?". Quick as a flash, his wife answered for him "More than you could ever afford"!!! The cretin was left standing gobsmacked.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My wife has got the classic Thai wit so I can relate to a comment like that.

[Boo]

Ignorance like that is everywhere unfortunately Martin but at least your wife can hold her own and then some by the sounds of it I have also had the immigration prats at Heathrow question my husband & I on the nature of our relationship, where we met etc, the last time the stupid women in the counter did it, I replied "In a bar, where did you meet yours, how long have you been married?" She wasn't wearing a ring & was sour faced, so she wasn't overly amused but then, it made me & hubby feel better & we roared laughing the whole way out to baggage claim

[Martin]

Good for you, Boo.

I am actually hoping it does happen again, so I can raise Cain.

The institutionalised racialism in the Home Office needs to be given all the publicity possible. It is the only way we will ever get their act cleaned up.

The Diplomatic Service are a good lot, but the Home Office (who run UKVisa and have that piece of the ground floor of the British Embassy) are a total shower at the lower levels.

Their 'higher-ups' are OK, but generally visa applicants don't get to meet the higher-ups. (I only did because one of the bottom level gave me just enough of a 'hinge' for me to make a complaint of "maladministration'.)

I have nothing but praise for the ones (Foreign Office) upstairs in the Embassy, who do the consular work. But the Home Office 'on-the-counter' lot at the Embassy and at Heathrow need a good sorting out.

I must keep telling myself "For evil to flourish, it is only necessary for good men to do nothing" and watch for opportunities.

[figaro]

I'm a man, and can say with almost 100% certainty that men will almost never approach a woman unless they perceive , or imagine, some sort of "come on" from a woman . Additionally,   there are so very many opportunities for ANY  man

to get female company in Bangkok , that it's difficult to imagine a male wasting his efforts  on a specific woman if she appears unavailable.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Try removing the word "perceive" and keeping in just the "imagine", shall you? I am a woman and have been hit upon numerous times when I certainly was NOT sending out signals to anyone. Two girls staying with us had two guys so persistently annoying them that they ended up telling them they were lesbians just so they would be left alone. That is extreme to a degree.

I don't go anywhere near Sukhumvit (thank god) but certainly would have a few choice words for anyone who had the temerity to harass me, had enough of that as a teenage girl and I certainly won't put up with it anymore.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

OK snapback, I agree that you have a genuine grievance.

SOME men can be a regular pain in the butt for women. However, it's the exception rather than the rule (in my opinion).

I personally believe that objectionable behavior towards women is a form of latent animosity / sadism, directed towards the female gender - similar to the more colorful ( and disgusting) activities that adorn most porno sites on the web. The idea appears to be to humilate women; which I consider inhuman relevant to any woman, especially women working in the sex industry.

As for your contention that Sukumvit is an especially bad place for women; it's the lower areas - Nana and adjoining vicinities - that are unsuitable venues for women. The top end of Sukumvit; towards Chit Lom, should be fine.

Additionally, you'd be surprised at how often Thai men try and hit upon foreign

(non Thai looking) women- just ask that of some of my younger female relatives and their friends. Thai men are less blatant in their approach, unlike perhaps; Indians and Australians. Also, Thai men generally do not harass women, they don't push it when a woman appears uninterested .

Edited August 16, 2005 by figaro

[cdnvic]

A year and a half and only 12 posts. Shame since you just made one of the most balanced and informative posts in this longrunning thread.

cv

[sbk]

snapback, thats cute, figaro.

You are very welcome in the Ladies Forum with posts that are intelligent, thought out and informed!