Stylish Or Comfort? Or Both?

[sbk]

Just had this discussion among friends, how do you go, stylish or frumpy? I had a frumpy phase and then looked at myself in the mirror and thought who the heck is that sad looking woman?

Others feel comfort is paramount. Now, seeing all the stylish women in London, I realize how difficult it is too be stylish on a little island. Shorts and tshirts are the norm. I miss having nice clothes, and the shoes! Sandals are nice, but get a bit boring after 20 years.

Do you miss this about life back home? Or don't you at all?

[donna]

aha, but you CAN mix comfort and style!

a nice pair of jeans can be super comfy, and stylish as well. sure, you may not get to wear your LBD on the island, but you can still look nice without having to resort to fishermans pants every day.

[Ave]

I think so too. You can combine comfort with style but you need to have the right clothes shops around you. I live in a Thai city therefore I am encouraged to dress smartly also for work reasons. I find that uncomfortable when I have to ride my bike. To compensate I spend my weekend in shorts, short skirts, jeans and long sleeved shirts or t-shirts, sometimes a bit too wairoon style I admit.

[Goinghomesoon]

I try to go stylish for work but at home I'm a sad frump. Track pants and holey tshirts are my all-time favourite relaxing style, although I have recently taken to swanning around in my Thai silk dressing gown at all hours of the day. Sad but true.

[GrahamF]

Now I'm having visions of hordes of women walking around in shorts, flip flops and sweaty Singha t-shirts! Not intimating anything about anyone here though.

On a serious note, if a girlfriend of mine wants to swan around in her silk dressing gown all day, I have no problem with that!

[Patsycat]

I think that we should feel comfortable - so if it is silk gowns or singa t shirts so be it. I know when i feel good within myself whether wearing jeans or a skirt. Sandles or high heels. I hate to wear tight clothes which stop me walking normally, but sometimes i have had to wear those sort of clothes for work in an office. Yuk. Luckily, in Switzerland in offices they are rather relaxed about the dress protocol so it is relaxed, you can actually dress as you want to a certain extent. Shise - i just said on another thread that I have been wearing the same denim mini for the past 15 years!!! Ah well.... And I do have a LBD

[katyb]

I'm with you SBK. I used to have nice clothes, make up, high heels etc but I think I've just got used to ...dare I say it... not bothering to much? Not that I'm a frump, but my clothes are very casual here mostly. Occasionally (usually if a friend is picking me up in a car!) I put on a pair of heels for old times sake...and I love it! But sadly on Samui heels are only suitable for ankle breaking if one is walking anywhere!

My sister just came over from UK for a visit and ... OMG....what a difference between us! I don't know whether she was more shocked at my island look or I was more shocked at her 'Marbella' look! But I really did feel like the frumpy, ugly sister. She looked stunning the whole time in her 2009 season beach holiday wardrobe! Bah humbug. Anyway, consequently I felt the need to make more of an effort after realizing it was months since I'd even had any eyeliner on.

I don't find it easy to look glam here on the islands because I find if I do make the effort, it just looks over done and out of place anyway.

Oh well, denim cut offs and flip flops it is then...........

[katyb]

...oh and the thing I miss most.......BOOTS!!!! Gorgeous winter boots. High heeled, knee high, leather boots. Yeeeaaah!!!!

[mooncake]

Well for me….

I like to be comfortable but yet stylish. In no-way you will catch me outside walking around look like an un-made bed, a bag lady, drapy like drapery or something similar.

Casual comfort but yet stylish, without too much fuss and expenses…..is the look for me. I’m not a dressy flashy type, but yet still wanting to be in-style with the trend. I like simple pieces like jeans- any length- w/ white shirt , and sundresses. However I Love to add on accessories like ..necklace, scarf, cute sandals, or bracelet to jazz it up a bit.

To me it’s very important to pay attention to yourself a bit while the world or whatever outthere is spinning around us. No matter how little time or budget you may have…..you should be able to find the look that enhances your best attributes but yet stylish and comfort at the same time.

[sbk]

While i think Paris Hilton is an idiot, she did make an apparently quote worthy comment regarding this:

“Dress cute wherever you go, life is too short to blend in.”

NY Daily news

[eek]

I love clothes that have something of an edge to them. I love jeans but i will put something like a very pretty top with some straight jeans and shoes with a little bit of a heel, or a comfortable cotton dress in a soft or earthy colour and sandals. I would say i love a boho sort of look. To me that looks stylish and still very comfortable to wear. I like combination like a dressy top but with old jeans or an embroidered skirt with a simple top. Im not talking hippy here! (not that there is anything wrong with hippy of course...just i see boho as more dressed up than hippy). I like some of Sienna Millers style and Nicole Richie

I think these kinds of clothes look stylish as well as comfy.

My weakness is bags and shoes..i seem to want to collect as many as possible. Ive put a serious curb on that!

What i miss from the UK is BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS as well as being able to wear some tall heels. I used to wear a lot of chunky heeled shoes or platform wedge shoes, but here i look feel too tall when i put them on. I dont have the confidence to wear them as i feel overdressed and conspicuous. I see some of the Thai girls in skyscrapers and i get a bit

[sbk]

I am fairly shortish but heels don't work so well on Koh Phangan

I am a bag and shoe nut too, and if I lived in the US full time would be a massive clothes horse with the need for a giant walk in closet

[Patsycat]

This has actually made me put on one of my boho skirts to go and meet friends for a drink - I even put on my "high" heels - all 3 centimetres of them!!

I feel good, and feminine etc!!! Just hope i don't fall over getting to the bus stop!!

[eek]

Aww! Have fun Patsy!

[katyb]

Me too! Big effort tonight......slinky trousers and a pair of killer heels. Thanks girls! Note to self: must try harder.....

[GrahamF]

I have to ask, what is "boho"?

[Misty]

From the pics looks like boho might be short for bohemian?

Some iconic style categories: Euro chic, California casual, Rock&Roll, Posh eclectic, Mod, American classic, Bombshell, Bohemian, Gamine, Mix&Match - from The Lucky Guide to Mastering Any Style

[HarryHerb]

For the ladies who said "stylish", where the hel_l do you shop????!

I don't actually want to look like a frump but the fact is out in the sticks the only clothes they make in "big" sizes, i.e. UK 10 - 12 in my case, are the super-shapeless things (I don't really go for the sausage-look, squeezed into Thai-girl size tops )

Thankfully though, I recently visited the UK where I shopped till I dropped and am now sitting in linen trousers and a sequin embroidered top, hooray!

[katyb]

For the ladies who said "stylish", where the hel_l do you shop????!

I don't actually want to look like a frump but the fact is out in the sticks the only clothes they make in "big" sizes, i.e. UK 10 - 12 in my case, are the super-shapeless things (I don't really go for the sausage-look, squeezed into Thai-girl size tops )

Thankfully though, I recently visited the UK where I shopped till I dropped and am now sitting in linen trousers and a sequin embroidered top, hooray!

Well you've got it! That's what I do too. I'm fairly small... but when I go into a shop here the assistant takes one look at me and says"Have your size madam...LARGE!!!!" I have never been LARGE in my life until I came here!!!!!! Consequently, I wait til I have trip back to England and then I shop!!!! UK is brilliant now for clothes shopping. It's soooo cheap, prices just do not compare with here! Just loving Primark, Matalan, H&M, New Look...oh my god I could go on. A little self indulgent bit of western decadence I allow myself on a visit! Yay!

They just don't do attractive, stylish clothes here for Western sized / shaped women unless you're going for the "cover it all up in a bedouin encampment" type arrangement . We are clearly abnormal! I think there is a brilliant business opportunity here in this market. A quick bit of market research amongst the women I know clearly showed that there is a demand for 'farang sized' non-frumpy clothes. Anyone?????

[MiG16]

but when I go into a shop here the assistant takes one look at me and says"Have your size madam...LARGE!!!!"

you are luckier than me

I walk in, look around, and they they usually tell me:

dont have large size ma'am

A quick bit of market research amongst the women I know clearly showed that there is a demand for 'farang sized' non-frumpy clothes. Anyone?????

a brand called Brown when it was first launched said it was responding to that market. (styling for those not teeny tiny)you can find them in some stores in bangkok. initially also the bigger stores upcountry...but now I think they are only seen in some in bangkok

however, inspite of their claim to be stylish, i looked at some of their styles and have to disagree. it is really not something for the late 20s to mid 30s, or even those in their early 40s in my opinion! its more a style that would look ok on an older age group

so go for it katy. design away.

[desi]

a brand called Brown when it was first launched said it was responding to that market. (styling for those not teeny tiny)you can find them in some stores in bangkok. initially also the bigger stores upcountry...but now I think they are only seen in some in bangkok

however, inspite of their claim to be stylish, i looked at some of their styles and have to disagree. it is really not something for the late 20s to mid 30s, or even those in their early 40s in my opinion! its more a style that would look ok on an older age group

so go for it katy. design away.

Browns... ughh... HUGE flowers sewn all over everything. It is ghastly stuff. Every time I look at their clothes I wonder who the buyer is, and if Thais think that is how a westerner (of any age) would dress.

So GO katy go!

[PennyFarthing123]

I have a question for Mig16. I am 66 and in very good physical shape. Why should I dress any differently that an early 40 year old woman. I think once you are past the teen to 20's age, a classy but mature look should be good for any woman.

I too am having a hard time finding clothes other than the usual shorts, t-shirts etc that would fit me. I see many Thai women much larger than me and asked a Thai friend, where do these women shop. She replied that most of them go to a tailor for their more stylish clothes.

So for now I am Thai casual until my next trip to the States.

PS: when I lived in the States a long time ago I always wore heels. Tried some on the other day and could hardly walk in them.

[MiG16]

Penny

my comment was in no way intended to offend anyone of any age group. It is based on my personal opinion of how I would dress depending at what phase of life Im in.

I cant personally see myself dressing the way I do today when I get to my 60s. [eg. no skinny jeans when I get to my 50s or 60s, no more mini skirts regardless of whether my legs still look small enough, etc ] My reference to Brown being suitable for those above 50 or so, is based on what I may see myself wearing when I get to that age.

not sure if that sounds any better....but as said, it is my vision of myself older

[IanForbes]

From a male perspective it all depends on a woman's body shape. Slender women have it much easier and a wider choice of clothes to look good in. And, even a frumpish outfit on a good looking young woman won't hide her beauty. High heels might not be comfortable, but they make a woman's walk more attractive. But, gungy running shoes or flipflops won't detract from someone who already looks good in anything. A bit of tummy showing looks good on young gals with great figures, but not so nice when flab is showing. Same goes for men with beer bellies... cover it up.

I'm single and when I'm lounging around the house I wear sweat pants and baggy shirts, but when I go out I always change to jeans and a nice clean shirt... even if it's only to the store. When I was married I dressed a bit better around the house for my wife's sake.

There is a female manager in a hotel coffee shop where I go who is a TERRIBLE dresser. 20 years ago she was a buxom, attractive woman with a good figure. Today, she looks like a frumpy old maid. She's gained 40 pounds, but still tries to wear the same clothes, and they don't fit her. And, it's not that she doesn't have enough money. Both she and her husband have good jobs. She just hasn't any taste in clothes. I'm almost embarrassed when I see what she wears to work. A waitress in the same hotel is also over weight, but she has good taste in clothes and always looks nice. As I mentioned on the similar topic on this forum that my mother was a great dresser and always looked nice right into her eighties.

[blithecasia]

Style and comfort is really an essential thing to consider especially when we are talking about business suits. Clothing affects also the productivity of the employee!

[Sheryl]

I've never in my life worn high heels. And for the past 15 years or so, hardly ever worn shoes with a closed heel or toe. Comfort and utility are absolutely paramount for me when it comes to footwear....I need to be able to walk, not totter about!

Other than shoes, I can and soemtimes do tolerate some discomfort in the name of beauty e.g. if it is only for a few hours or so. But mostly I try to find things that are both comfortable and attarctive.

Miggy, you'd be surprised how good some of us 50+ look in tight jeans When I replace the lost cable to download pix from my camera I'll show ya...

Re the size issue, one of the things that baffles me is that I see an increasing number of outright obese Thai women. Where do these ladies shop??? 'Coz I can't find anything that fits in Thailand, and I'm certainly smaller than they are. Granted these women aren't usually wearing anything very attractive, but I'd be happy just to know where I can find T-shirts and ordinary cotton blouses that fit..................!

[MiG16]

Miggy, you'd be surprised how good some of us 50+ look in tight jeans When I replace the lost cable to download pix from my camera I'll show ya...

I dont for a minute doubt that!

I was only talkng with myself as reference...what I see myself not wearing when I get to 50s/60s.

my sense of fashion has been shaped by VERY conservative values. I grew up with a grandmother who spent time in one of the smaller royal courts....and they can be pretty strict with regards to a lot of things

[HarryHerb]

Re the size issue, one of the things that baffles me is that I see an increasing number of outright obese Thai women. Where do these ladies shop??? 'Coz I can't find anything that fits in Thailand, and I'm certainly smaller than they are. Granted these women aren't usually wearing anything very attractive, but I'd be happy just to know where I can find T-shirts and ordinary cotton blouses that fit..................!

You can get basic tees and tops in Tesco and Big C in XXL (about a size 10-12!) and even something called "2XXL" which I imagine a size 12 or even 14 could squeeze into Crap quality but cheap.

If you want anything fitted off the peg, forget it. I think the problem is that western ladies are simply bigger-boned (not a euphemism for fat; a fact). I don't have a lot of surplus flesh but I've yet to find a Thai brand that fits properly on the shoulders or around the armholes - the cut is all wrong, they're made for people with small frames. That's why the XL size fits large Thai ladies but not us reasonably svelte western gals IMO.

Still don't know what the solution is, though, other than regular trips back to the uk

[sbk]

Our (Thai) cook is quite curvy, short but curvy, and she complains about finding it difficult to get decent clothes that are cute. She is under 30 so she really isn't up for the sarong look either. Koh P is quite limited clothes wise so perhaps she would have better luck in a bigger city.

[katyb]

So, I think what a lot of us are saying is..we would like to be able to buy more stylish clothes here but they must be comfortable and appropriate for where we live.

But what sort of garments are we talking about? Do we want more tailored clothes that fit western shapes and sizes? What colours? Do we want casual or dressy, day or night or all of the above? Are we happy with our shoes? (I’m not…. most of the ones I buy here fall to bits after a few weeks!)

Skirts, trousers, dresses, shorts????? Is this what we want? Tee shirts? Work suits? Swimwear?

Knickers, bras? I know this one is a particular issue with some of my friends – cotton drawers and a bra that fits considerably larger than ‘ever so cute but ever so teeny weeny’ knockers! Can’t buy them for love nor money.

Personally, I would like to be able to buy…at a reasonable cost…the following:

Shorts – tailored, casual and some perhaps more dressy for night time. But not sequinned hot pants in a size 4, not with frilly bits on and not with puffy bits around the legs.

Skirts – tailored again, maybe knee length pencil, and some shorter ones in some good plain neutral colours. Again… not in a size 4! And without any offending lacy trim around the hem.

Bikinis – I love my bikinis, but buy them all back in UK as the quality is better (Daft, I know seeing as most of the UK stuff probably comes from Asia in the first place). The choice of style is better and they come in sizes – not one size fits all… which evidently it does not.

Trousers – preferably ones that fit, that aren’t too short in the leg, and not bright pink with pretty strawberries on the back pockets either.

Strappy tops – again I buy these in UK as I just can’t get the fit or the colours.

Well, that’s my wish list. How about you? If I really thought there was enough demand I might... only might... look into doing something about it. Myself and a couple friends talked about this last year over a few gins…but sadly that’s where we left it! Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the closet…………