How To Refuse A Nice Guy?

[anna234cn]

Beauty is such a curse 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And sexy is also a curse.

Like my friend's saying, usually only two ways for beautiful girls. One is to have lots of boyfriends and have fun; the other way is to be alone and suffer the loneliness at times.

Edited April 24, 2005 by anna234cn

[impossible_me]

as friends as na

[terry74]

What i am saying is this type of thing needs time and patience wile dealing with

the other party, in other words it is not like cutting off a cable

Relationship need time to develope, so it takes time to cut him off, need alot of patience, and in Thailand we need to be alot ofpatience to do thing s here

I told him directly that I just wanna be friends with him. But he never stop botherring me everyday. And my good friend also got botherred by him everyday. Too annoying like a Thai mosquito. I think what I can do is to ignore all his sms and calls. Hope he will stop soon.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think maybe you are not sending the right signal to him

I HAD a Thai GF , whom wanted only to be friends, however wanted me to do many things for her and remaind friends is this possible

example call her and bring her out every saturday and Sunday

Send her relatives home on Sunday or pay Taxi fare for her relatives

Call her every day

Confusing , there is a thin line from Friendship to GF

So I think in time he should fade away, however friendships take time to develope and in Thailand you need alot of patience for friendship

if you dont have patience I think you better leave Thailand

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

that seems a bit severe don't you think? the guy can't get the hint so if she doesn't have enough patience to deal with a guy who can't take "no" for an answer she should leave Thailand?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[terry74]

I dnot know if you know this term called "GIG" in Thailand, it means a sleeping partner and not a girlfriend to marry

GIG means a girlfriend not intending to marry , however this person has a regular girlfriend, and many GIGS

This is part of Thailand "culture" dont know why, a man can have a girlfriend and can ask his girlfriend even that he wants a GIG

So if this carries on with this person sill is a probelm suggest you change apartment

Bit harsh, Terry.  Why should SHE leave?  Anyway, who says she is living in Thailand?  Maybe she isn't even here and it's a bloke from wherever she is living. 

If he can't get the hint, then easing up on the contact is the best thing to do.  Don't go out with him and his friends. 

I am trying to shake a persistent ex at the moment.  Phone calls in the middle of the night, gets his son on the phone to ask me "thammai khun mai rak poh?", telling me he is on the way over to my place after I told him I didn't want him to etc.  It's a real battle.  All I can do is avoid his calls and not answer the phone when he calls. 

And if you: 

called her and took her out every saturday and Sunday

Send her relatives home on Sunday or paid Taxi fare for her relatives

Called her every day

Then sucked in buddy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Sweetie]

It's best to be straight about it. Tell him he's *ONLY* a friend and nothing more. And try to ignore his call and not meet him at all. He'll get the hint, but then I suppose it's not a hint anymore...

[devildog683]

you could do what i tell my wife to, kick him in the balls

[terry74]

I think you got the wrong idea, many normal decent girls will only sleep with you after getting married to her, plutonic relationship with girls sometimes the girl becomes your girlfriend

Yes it is easy to sleep wtih girls from the bars, message areas, however will not be easy to sleep with decent Thai ladies after only meeting them for a month etc

Confusing , there is a thin line from Friendship to GF

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There is no fine line; you're either f*****g her or you're not. Friends don't F***

friends.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[anna234cn]

I think you got the wrong idea, many normal decent girls will only sleep with you after getting married to her, plutonic relationship with girls sometimes the girl becomes your girlfriend

Yes it is easy to sleep wtih girls from the bars, message areas, however will not be easy to sleep with decent Thai ladies after only meeting them for a month etc

Of course. Its the same everywhere, not only in Thailand.

[meadish_sweetball]

I think you got the wrong idea, many normal decent girls will only sleep with you after getting married to her, plutonic relationship with girls sometimes the girl becomes your girlfriend

Yes it is easy to sleep wtih girls from the bars, message areas, however will not be easy to sleep with decent Thai ladies after only meeting them for a month etc

Of course. Its the same everywhere, not only in Thailand.

Not in Sweden. Most so called "nice" girls do it on the first night - if they fancy you, that is.

[Chiuey]

It amazes me that even in a thread about a womans issue with telling a guy that she only want ot be friends, that we can still find a guy that brings up something totally irrelevant about gigs and such.....

But back to the question at hand. As much as I'm one for beig told straight up if a woman doesn't likes me, I'd have to agree that might not work so well here in Thailand. From what I've been in the yrs of living here, and this by no means is anythign directly against thai people, they seems to be a lot more poccessive in relationships, and their concept of how and what starts a relationship is somewhat...STRANGE?

If you keep on accepting his calls, he will automatically assume you are just playing hard to get, and if yo keep on doing that while you tell him no, he's gonna choose to believe you are still playing hard to get.

At the same time you can't just flat out tell him to ###### off, for one, that's kinda rude in Thai culture, secondly, it might have a bad effect on his ego and the green monster migth come and and visit. Then you're dealing with a whole other issue of stalking, even more calls, and him telling other guys to stay away from you... all that insane stuff. Before you know it, your comfortable lifestyle is no longer comfortable because you would have moved 3 times in 6 months, changed your telephone number just as many times, and you'll never pick up a call from a unlisted number EVER AGAIN.

Having just gone through the worst case scenario, I do think it's probably better you just distance youself little by little and hope to god that eventually he will get the point or get tired of chasing the rabbit or even better, becomes some other poor girls problem.

[Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t]

Really this need not be difficult at all. Just tell him to back up and give you space because you want NOTHING from him other than friendship and that he is not someone you would EVER consider taking it to the next level with.

You are in Thailand right, if he has anything even remotly similar to a pair, he will suck it up and find another girl, something VERY easy for us (Farang Guys) to do in Thailand.

Wait any longer and he may be pissed that you wasted so much of his time, I know I would be if ya lead me on so long.

Good Luck

[baht&sold]

For a last resort Anna- just show him this thread

[TizMe]

Every time that he SMSs you, always reply but tell him about this great new guy that you have just met.

[jrincon17]

I gave him some hints. But it seems he doesnt understand.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just tell him ! He is in Thailand and will fall in love tomorrow , if not in an hour.

[robitusson]

I met a very kind guy who treats me pretty well and wants me to be his gf. But I'd like him just to be my friend. He is younger than me and very simple. He is far different from those men I had ever met. So I dont wanna hurt him and wonder how to tell him. Any advice? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Revolutionary idea here ladies, how about you tell him? Something like this "Listen (whatever his name is), I'm not keen on being your girlfiend. I'm sorry." You can"t avoid the consequences if it hurts him or not.

[sbk]

Revolutionary idea here robitussin, but alot of guys don't take "no" for an answer. Also, if he is the type that doesn't take rejection well it can sometimes turn out pretty nasty, and not for him but for her.

Usually it is better to let a guy down gently and retain his friendship than let him down hard and earn an enemy.

[meadish_sweetball]

Revolutionary idea here robitussin, but alot of guys don't take "no" for an answer. Also, if he is the type that doesn't take rejection well it can sometimes turn out pretty nasty, and not for him but for her.

Usually it is better to let a guy down gently and retain his friendship than let him down hard and earn an enemy.

I would listen to the wisdom of sbk if I were you, Anna.

[sbk]

Ah well meadish, I'd like to say with age comes wisdom but then that would be tantamount to admit I am getting older so I will just say that I have always been wise!

Edited June 18, 2005 by sbk

[Sandy]

Anna,

He's a young guy, right? Then he'll learn to get over it, after u tell him what the deal is. Sounds like he's being led to think u might have some kind of interest in him. But trust me, im sure he would have no trouble finding another girl to lust over. Like someone said earlier, maybe u should find a guy u are interested in and bring the new guy around. Or are u scared you're gonna hurt this young nice guy's feeling if u were to do that?

[kreon]

Anna,

He's a young guy, right? Then he'll learn to get over it, after u tell him what the deal is. Sounds like he's being led to think u might have some kind of interest in him. But trust me, im sure he would have no trouble finding another girl to lust over. Like someone said earlier, maybe u should find a guy u are interested in and bring the new guy around. Or are u scared you're gonna hurt this young nice guy's feeling if u were to do that?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

good idea, anna pm me, and i will tell him you have balls

[robitusson]

Revolutionary idea here robitussin, but alot of guys don't take "no" for an answer. Also, if he is the type that doesn't take rejection well it can sometimes turn out pretty nasty, and not for him but for her.

Usually it is better to let a guy down gently and retain his friendship than let him down hard and earn an enemy.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The problem was hurting the boy, not that he wouldn't take a rejection nor that he would turn nasty. The problem specifically was that she didn't want to hurt his poor feelings, therefore the best way is not to worry so much about hurting him. Tell him "I'm not interested". He'll get over it.

[amal2029]

I think you got the wrong idea, many normal decent girls will only sleep with you after getting married to her, plutonic relationship with girls sometimes the girl becomes your girlfriend

Yes it is easy to sleep wtih girls from the bars, message areas, however will not be easy to sleep with decent Thai ladies after only meeting them for a month etc

Confusing , there is a thin line from Friendship to GF

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There is no fine line; you're either f*****g her or you're not. Friends don't F***

friends.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sorry, I have to disagree.... have u been to Thailand by any chance?

[niall]

Anna,

I need a cultural context. Are you falang/Thai what? Is he falang/Thai what?

Different strokes for different folks you know.

[uncle paul]

cant you just introduce some huge guy he dosent know as your new bf?

[sam518cn]

I remembered you have a Thai-bf,right?

[Judge]

I met a very kind guy who treats me pretty well and wants me to be his gf. But I'd like him just to be my friend. He is younger than me and very simple. He is far different from those men I had ever met. So I dont wanna hurt him and wonder how to tell him. Any advice? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sure that he isn't a fat old fart in Chiang Mai?

I'm not sure if someone is interested or not interested and I know that she is too nice to tell me to f___ myself, but I am most smitten.

Go out with me or tell me to p*ss off; I'm in a lot of pain!

Edited November 1, 2005 by Judge