Tired Of The Farang Lady Diatribe!

[kat]

"I'm happy to meet up with you and discuss the subject. I've met some western girls form this forum already and a darn nice bunch of people they are too. I have met Kat for example, who has posted in this thread, and is a real catch for any guy (although I'm too young for her ). However I am not 'misogynistic' so you won't hear those comments from me. I am however the type of guy who chooses to prefer asian girls despite having previously not done so. Definitely happy to discuss it face to face with anyone, the problem is that the more genuine (in the sense that we have valid arguments to support our racial selectivity) among us get lumped together with those who do just monger the hatred for women and those who have had sufficiently negative experiences to want to avoid any similar type of individual in future."

Thanks Will, that's a really nice thing to say. Although, a little birdie must have been whispering in your ear, because I regularly attract men in their early-to-mid 20s and sometimes younger (now that's a problem ) who have no clue as to my real age. In fact, ALL of my last 3 relationships and most of my dating history has been with men a lot younger than me. But I don't go out looking for them, they find me. And unfortunately, as much as many men on this forum like to claim that us women carry the baggage, to be honest, I find that a lot of men in my age range are threatend by me and my looks in comparison to themselves. I still do find a lot of them attractive, but they are generally travelling through or live in the West.

I hear what you're saying Will, but I still have a problem with racializing attraction. That is another form of objectification. But all consenting adults and peers have the right to choose who they want.

At any rate, I have noticied that some of the younger guys I've come in contact with here seem a little gun shy, so to speak. I've had the experince where some have pursued me and then backed off suddenly at the slightest tinge or imagined tinge of a challenge.

And no, I won't come on to you, and no, you cannot announce my age on the forum

Edited July 24, 2005 by kat

[niall]

Well I must admit I did find the idea of you being intimidating funny

[kat]

... Do I hear the sound of you rapidly backing off from your claim that all the males who post in here dare not repeat what they type here to your face because they don't have the 'ahem' guts, and they are all 'ahem' misogynists?  If not please explain in what society such claims could be considered a joke?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Niall, are you 'ahem' denying that you have misogynist views?

[meom]

I don't mind western women but in comparison to thai women I get the idea that western women never stop analyzing things. In plain english they talk too much.

[OxfordWill]

[..]

I hear what you're saying Will, but I still have a problem with racializing attraction.  That is another form of objectification.  But all consenting adults and peers have the right to choose who they want.

[..]

And no, I won't come on to you, and no, you cannot announce my age on the forum  [/color]

Cheers Kat. I'm not 100% certain what you mean by racialising attraction. It sounds like you mean that you don't consider it appropriate to allow race as a valid measurement for attractiveness. Do I have you right?

I don't know your age, but I did say something like 'Kat must be around X, right?' to which there was much giggling but nobody revealed why...!

Edited July 24, 2005 by OxfordWill

[kat]

"I don't mind western women but in comparison to thai women I get the idea that western women never stop analyzing things. In plain english they talk too much"

oh yeah, as in "think too much"

Edited July 24, 2005 by kat

[alaina]

... Do I hear the sound of you rapidly backing off from your claim that all the males who post in here dare not repeat what they type here to your face because they don't have the 'ahem' guts, and they are all 'ahem' misogynists?  If not please explain in what society such claims could be considered a joke?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Niall, are you 'ahem' denying that you have misogynist views?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Finally I think wading through that Men go toss...er "fruit sauce" &lt;deleted&gt; site is going to pay off!

[kat]

[..]

I hear what you're saying Will, but I still have a problem with racializing attraction.  That is another form of objectification.  But all consenting adults and peers have the right to choose who they want.

[..]

And no, I won't come on to you, and no, you cannot announce my age on the forum   [/color]

Cheers Kat. I'm not 100% certain what you mean by racialising attraction. It sounds like you mean that you don't consider it appropriate to allow race as a valid measurement for attractiveness. Do I have you right?

I don't know your age, but I did say something like 'Kat must be around X, right?' to which there was much giggling but nobody revealed why...!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ok, so if you want to know the next time I see you, I'll let you guess.

In terms of racialising attraction, what I mean is selecting a partner by virture of their being of another race.

[niall]

Erm... well my understanding of the terms misogynist is 'some who openly dislikes ALL women'.

I certainly do not openly dislike ALL women. I am very selective.

Also, anyone over 40 who does not have 'baggage' has not lived...

[meom]

oh yeah, as in "think too much"

Not exactly cause thai women can also be very thoughtful but they need less words to explain their thoughts.

Maybe not a good example but if you tell a thai woman you love her a western woman immediately wants to know why?

[Boon Mee]

oh yeah, as in "think too much"

Actually, there's a poster on TV with the nick: 'think too mut'!

He hangs out on another forum these days - one of the many, many mods over there.

Sorry - off topic!

[britmaveric]

Kat is _____years old. Shhhhh I wont tell darling.

[kat]

How do you know, another birdie?

[meom]

oh yeah, as in "think too much"

Not exactly cause thai women can also be very thoughtful but they need less words to explain their thoughts.

Maybe not a good example but if you tell a thai woman you love her a western woman immediately wants to know why?

and btw it's not limited to western women, a lot of western men also talk too much.

Maybe it's just a sign of the times but a lot of things require endless discussions before action is taken. It's not for nothing that psycho-analysis etc. is getting quitte popular in the west. A lot of people apparently cannot accept things as they are but require an explanation for everything.

In Thailand I see less of this reasoning and more action from the heart without to much thinking. Personally I feel more comfortable with that.

[kat]

oh yeah, as in "think too much"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Actually, there's a poster on TV with the nick: 'think too mut'!

He hangs out on another forum these days - one of the many, many mods over there.

Sorry - off topic!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

ok, now I feel entitled: Everyone - there is another tsunami warning! Earthquake off of Nicobar Islands and Breaking news on CNN and down on the Andaman Coast.

[the_webninja]

Okay, I am a White American Male Born and Raised in Mid Michigan. This is MY PERSONAL Experience, and should not be taken as a Justifcation for ALL other White Males attitudes towards Western Women. BUT- In my Youth the White Women in my High School treated me like Dirt. I wound up dating Latina and Asian Girls. Then I joined the US Airforce. I Traveled the World and Learned about MANY different Cultures. Then I got out and Settled in Hawaii for about 10 Years. So after 15 Years I return to the Mainland US and I find that the majority of Women in the US are all hung up on how much Money a Man has in his Bank Account, what kind of Car he Drives, and all this Materialistic BS. SO, I return to the Women who treated me Good for the better part of my Life. Which is Asian Women.

So if you as a Western Woman, sense a bit of Rejection from all other Western Men, maybe it's because the VALUE SYSTEM you are so Proud of (Note how you describe yourself), Does not apply in places like Thailand and the Philippines. Here many Women care more about how a man TREATS her, rather than how much Money he might have. Sure ALL women want Money. But Thai Women have lived with out many of the things that Western Women have. So Thai Women don't care if a Man has a Car or Rides the Sky Train. Western Women not only CARE they won't even DATE you if they don't like your Car!

There in lies your Problem. Your Attitude and the Way that the Majority of Western Women have TREATED the Western Men, is what creates the Resentment you sense now.

I'm not going to go on a message Board and Complain about Western Women, because actually I am indifferent to them. I don't CARE about Western Women at ALL! Period. So if someone is actually Complaining about Western Women, that means on SOME level, they still Like you. Where as I am not even going to Waste my Time with you. See the Difference?

Not Only do I not like your Value System, and the Way you THINK, I don't like your Religion, Your Food, I think your Skin Looks bad, and Most of the Time Western Women are a whole lot FATTER than Asian Women. See the Difference? There is hardly NOTHING you could do to make me Like you. White Women have completely Shattered any Hope of EVER getting into MY WORLD. In otherwords I have no use for you, PERIOD.

If you want to Change your World, you have to Change yourself FIRST. Even if you are not like "all the Other Western Women" You still must deal with the EFFECTS that Western Women have produced on the Minds and Hearts of many Western MEN.

While YES I agree that it is Wrong for people to Spread Hatred and Contempt, I also understand that when people are hurt emotionally, especially in Mating or Love Relationships, These wounds don't heal very well, and people WILL express their emotions to try to satisfy the Pain they have felt in the Past. Some even want Revenge.

Me, I just want a Sexy Thai Girl to Fulfill all my Dreams so I can Completely FORGET that White women even EXIST. That's how I feel.

I think your Company should Send YOU HOME, and Hire ME! That's what I think. you are over there whinning and Complaining, while there you Sit WITH A JOB, Complaining about how people treat you in a Place you can't even Appreciate because your Values are all Screwed up. You want a Solution to your Problem, GO HOME and Tell your Boss to Hire ME! There's a Solution!

[OlRedEyes]

This thing with the caps, is it a Fashion or Foolishness, or am I just getting Old.

Edited July 24, 2005 by OlRedEyes

[britmaveric]

How do you know, another birdie? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Have my sources!!!!

[cdnvic]

Okay, I am a White American Male Born and Raised in Mid Michigan. This is MY PERSONAL Experience, and should not be taken as a Justifcation for ALL other White Males attitudes towards Western Women. BUT- In my Youth the White Women in my High School treated me like Dirt. I wound up dating Latina and Asian Girls. Then I joined the US Airforce. I Traveled the World and Learned about MANY different

*blah, blah, blah............*

in a Place you can't even Appreciate because your Values are all Screwed up. You want a Solution to your Problem, GO HOME and Tell your Boss to Hire ME! There's a Solution!

Maybe it's not what you drive, but the way you go into hysterics and generalise everyone and everything that turns them off of you. Perhaps you're dealing with Thai women whose english is not perfect and therfore can't understand your hyperbole yet.

Calm down, and learn to address people as individuals. Stop blaming your problems on the type of car you drive and the value system of others. Maybe it's actually something you are doing.

cv

[kat]

This thing with the caps, is it a Fashion or Foolishness, or am I just getting Old.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[chuchok]

Okay, I am a White American Male Born and Raised in Mid Michigan. This is MY PERSONAL Experience, and should not be taken as a Justifcation for ALL other White Males attitudes towards Western Women. BUT- In my Youth the White Women in my High School treated me like Dirt. I wound up dating Latina and Asian Girls. Then I joined the US Airforce. I Traveled the World and Learned about MANY different Cultures. Then I got out and Settled in Hawaii for about 10 Years. So after 15 Years I return to the Mainland US and I find that the majority of Women in the US are all hung up on how much Money a Man has in his Bank Account, what kind of Car he Drives, and all this Materialistic BS. SO, I return to the Women who treated me Good for the better part of my Life. Which is Asian Women.

So if you as a Western Woman, sense a bit of Rejection from all other Western Men, maybe it's because the VALUE SYSTEM you are so Proud of (Note how you describe yourself), Does not apply in places like Thailand and the Philippines. Here many Women care more about how a man TREATS her, rather than how much Money he might have. Sure ALL women want Money. But Thai Women have lived with out many of the things that Western Women have. So Thai Women don't care if a Man has a Car or Rides the Sky Train. Western Women not only CARE they won't even DATE you if they don't like your Car!

There in lies your Problem. Your Attitude and the Way that the Majority of Western Women have TREATED the Western Men, is what creates the Resentment you sense now.

I'm not going to go on a message Board and Complain about Western Women, because actually I am indifferent to them. I don't CARE about Western Women at ALL! Period. So if someone is actually Complaining about Western Women, that means on SOME level, they still Like you. Where as I am not even going to Waste my Time with you. See the Difference?

Not Only do I not like your Value System, and the Way you THINK, I don't like your Religion, Your Food, I think your Skin Looks bad, and Most of the Time Western Women are a whole lot FATTER than Asian Women. See the Difference? There is hardly NOTHING you could do to make me Like you. White Women have completely Shattered any Hope of EVER getting into MY WORLD. In otherwords I have no use for you, PERIOD.

If you want to Change your World, you have to Change yourself FIRST. Even if you are not like "all the Other Western Women" You still must deal with the EFFECTS that Western Women have produced on the Minds and Hearts of many Western MEN.

While YES I agree that it is Wrong for people to Spread Hatred and Contempt, I also understand that when people are hurt emotionally, especially in Mating or Love Relationships, These wounds don't heal very well, and people WILL express their emotions to try to satisfy the Pain they have felt in the Past. Some even want Revenge.

Me, I just want a Sexy Thai Girl to Fulfill all my Dreams so I can Completely FORGET that White women even EXIST. That's how I feel.

I think your Company should Send YOU HOME, and Hire ME! That's what I think. you are over there whinning and Complaining, while there you Sit WITH A JOB, Complaining about how people treat you in a Place you can't even Appreciate because your Values are all Screwed up. You want a Solution to your Problem, GO HOME and Tell your Boss to Hire ME! There's a Solution!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sorry..can't help myself.Does this mean you have a face like a squashed sandshoe?

[Boo]

vic, oldredeyes, & chuchok love it. Hmm well, hasn't this got interesting, we got a guy who claims to have NO InTeresT in western women but then blah blahs about his dislike of them & what they have done to him in the past, high school no less, can anyone can spell, ISSUES . All other posts are quite interesting but again, try to keep it civilised people. I really don't care if ANYONE likes me or not, I aint going no where or stopping doing what I want, so there. Like the old gay chants; I'm English, a women & here, get used to it

[alaina]

Okay, I am a White American Male Born and Raised in Mid Michigan. This is MY PERSONAL Experience, and should not be taken as a Justifcation for ALL other White Males attitudes towards Western Women. BUT- In my Youth the White Women in my High School treated me like Dirt. I wound up dating Latina and Asian Girls. Then I joined the US Airforce. I Traveled the World and Learned about MANY different Cultures. Then I got out and Settled in Hawaii for about 10 Years. So after 15 Years I return to the Mainland US and I find that the majority of Women in the US are all hung up on how much Money a Man has in his Bank Account, what kind of Car he Drives, and all this Materialistic BS. SO, I return to the Women who treated me Good for the better part of my Life. Which is Asian Women.

So if you as a Western Woman, sense a bit of Rejection from all other Western Men, maybe it's because the VALUE SYSTEM you are so Proud of (Note how you describe yourself), Does not apply in places like Thailand and the Philippines. Here many Women care more about how a man TREATS her, rather than how much Money he might have. Sure ALL women want Money. But Thai Women have lived with out many of the things that Western Women have. So Thai Women don't care if a Man has a Car or Rides the Sky Train. Western Women not only CARE they won't even DATE you if they don't like your Car!

There in lies your Problem. Your Attitude and the Way that the Majority of Western Women have TREATED the Western Men, is what creates the Resentment you sense now.

I'm not going to go on a message Board and Complain about Western Women, because actually I am indifferent to them. I don't CARE about Western Women at ALL! Period. So if someone is actually Complaining about Western Women, that means on SOME level, they still Like you. Where as I am not even going to Waste my Time with you. See the Difference?

Not Only do I not like your Value System, and the Way you THINK, I don't like your Religion, Your Food, I think your Skin Looks bad, and Most of the Time Western Women are a whole lot FATTER than Asian Women. See the Difference? There is hardly NOTHING you could do to make me Like you. White Women have completely Shattered any Hope of EVER getting into MY WORLD. In otherwords I have no use for you, PERIOD.

If you want to Change your World, you have to Change yourself FIRST. Even if you are not like "all the Other Western Women" You still must deal with the EFFECTS that Western Women have produced on the Minds and Hearts of many Western MEN.

While YES I agree that it is Wrong for people to Spread Hatred and Contempt, I also understand that when people are hurt emotionally, especially in Mating or Love Relationships, These wounds don't heal very well, and people WILL express their emotions to try to satisfy the Pain they have felt in the Past. Some even want Revenge.

Me, I just want a Sexy Thai Girl to Fulfill all my Dreams so I can Completely FORGET that White women even EXIST. That's how I feel.

I think your Company should Send YOU HOME, and Hire ME! That's what I think. you are over there whinning and Complaining, while there you Sit WITH A JOB, Complaining about how people treat you in a Place you can't even Appreciate because your Values are all Screwed up. You want a Solution to your Problem, GO HOME and Tell your Boss to Hire ME! There's a Solution!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't think job offers from ladies will be forthcoming after advise like that.

[Boo]

pearl 

I don't think job offers from ladies will be forthcoming after advise like that. huh.gif

[OxfordWill]

In terms of racialising attraction, what I mean is selecting a partner by virture of their being of another race.

Not getting at you here, just interested in getting to the bottom of the issue myself.

If this is what you mean, then you have to also say that you don't consider any physical attribute as a valid measurement for attractiveness, such as blonde hair over brunette or indeed fat over thing. This is because blonde hair is no less a 'virtue' than racial appearance, and it is one and the same to comment 'I prefer blonde men' and to comment 'I prefer asian looking men' when we consider physical attributes.

With this consistency in mind, what you have to consider is that you are affirming the belief that attraction as a task to perform on another can only consider mental, or rather 'non physical' yardsticks as valid. Therefore, in saying I find you attractive, I cannot permit myself to consider your physical shape or features, but only the way you talk or the thoughts you express to me. However, we come across another problem here, because who decides what is and is not physical? Is the voice not a physical attribute in that it displaces air and is the product of matter? If so, I can no longer hear you speak.

Even more worrying now is that I have no real way of appreciating your personality or thoughts, mute as you are to my 'attraction receptors'. This is the reduction we end up with when we are too eager to worry about 'objectification'.

But don't we all 'objectify' our potential mates? This is very natural, and while it is both horrible and uncivilised to make comments about a man as if he is merely an object, we must be careful not to take this too far or we end up drastically limiting what is acceptable, to the point where we should all be blind, mute and quite possibly, dumb.

It's become trendy to be on the watch for anyone doing any 'objectification' but isn't this just a word for making judgements, and don't we make judgements every second of every day quite naturally?

[Boo]

I have to agree with Will here kat, my whole life I have been attracted to guys with black hair & darker skin (causacion, mixed race etc) but when I first came to LOS didn't make the connection between my inbuilt attractions & thai men but found many attractive, which I thought was curious as I had never dated an asian man before. Personality is a big factor but we do make judgments every day & usually on looks first. But I wouldn't have made a judement on a guy just becuase he was farang & in fact dated a few western guys when I first arrived in LOS but found most of them to be transient & got bored with just getting to know someone & then they were off on the next leg of there travels & found myself socialising with a more thai crowd & meeting more thai men as a result

[OlRedEyes]

I really don't care if ANYONE likes me or not, I aint going no where or stopping doing what I want, so there.   Like the old gay chants; I'm English, a women & here, get used to it

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Exactly my sentiments, except for the English and woman part

Judge me in passing, treat me with disdain, and I will reciprocate, and not neccesarily in equal measure.

[kat]

Will, it's not all one and the same, because blonde or brunette is just a variation, whereas stating you like "Asian" or "Thai" is just another flip side of putting everyone from one race into another category, albeit an "exotic", "cute" or sexual one.

[Boo]

OlRedEyes 

Exactly my sentiments, except for the English and woman part laugh.gif

Judge me in passing, treat me with disdain, and I will reciprocate, and not neccesarily in equal measure.

shall we get t-shirts made & start a march

[kat]

... But I wouldn't have made a judement on a guy just becuase he was farang

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Right. That's what I mean. I am not talking about making judgements on what we find physically attractive - most of the time I don't have a choice! I also have a certain physical type that usually gets me all the time. But it is not really racially based. Mostly, I am referring to people from another race who say that they are only attracted to people from another racial group.

I am from a mixed-race family but look mostly white to most people. I am usually attracted to darker men, which is consistent with my background. For awhile, I didn't want to date anyone who wasn't from my cultural background, but that was due to cultural issues.

If I am from a certain background, and suddenly I say that I only want such-and- such type of person from a totally different background or racial group, that is still racial selection. It is on a more romantic scale, but it is suspect to a lot of people from non-white backgrounds, not just myself. It sort of reminds me of the term "exotic", which is easier to relate to as something outside of yourself, in its "otherness". The otherness of this group becomes the main feature.

Anyway, I don't really feel as strongly about this as I once did, but it is a thought.

Edited July 24, 2005 by kat