Good Excuses

[markuk]

So you've made your excuses. You want to go for a quiet beer on your own, but you know if you tell her you are going for a beer on your own, She will think you are upto no good, or just plain crazy. So you have just told her you are going to the internet cafe or for a haircut. You go out, have a few beers, meet a friend and get carried away. Next thing you know, it's 5 am, and you are just rocking up back home. Now what's your excuse ??????????.

I got lost usually works - except if smelling of perfume!

[HowardJohnson]

"I'm going to Nana. You want me to bring back something nice for you?"

[Simbo]

So you've made your excuses. You want to go for a quiet beer on your own, but you know if you tell her you are going for a beer on your own, She will think you are upto no good, or just plain crazy. So you have just told her you are going to the internet cafe or for a haircut. You go out, have a few beers, meet a friend and get carried away. Next thing you know, it's 5 am, and you are just rocking up back home. Now what's your excuse ??????????.

I got lost usually works - except if smelling of perfume!

Smelling of perfume! Oh you amateur. No wonder some blokes get caught quick. Thai women can smell another woman from 100 metres. Nothing less than a shower will suffice. So they tell me.

[sadman]

So you've made your excuses. You want to go for a quiet beer on your own, but you know if you tell her you are going for a beer on your own, She will think you are upto no good, or just plain crazy. So you have just told her you are going to the internet cafe or for a haircut. You go out, have a few beers, meet a friend and get carried away. Next thing you know, it's 5 am, and you are just rocking up back home. Now what's your excuse ??????????.

Darling, you'll never guess what happened to me! I was on my way home early, when I was suddenly abducted by aliens, who took me to their spaceship and performed experiments on me that made me stagger around and smell of curry, then they filled my pockets with loose change and dumped me on the doorstep at 5am.

Shortly followed by:

Ow, ow, ow, please put that ow wok down ow my love.

[sadman]

[We ladies have the following excuses:

I am going to the gym with my best friend, you know here.

I will take my gym bag and meet another man of course, my best friend will testify that she was with me all the time.

I will stay overnight at my cousins place, she lives in the country side and has no phone and there is no mobile phone connection in that place.

The country side location is in fact a romantic bungalow to meet my other boyfriend. Later my female cousin will tell exactly the same in details what we did etc.

The womans best friends are the best liars.

Men are not so clever about this.

No, I don't think so. If I rang my gf's 10 best friends and asked where she had been last night, I know they would all deny any knowledge. If she rang my 10 best friends, not only would they all say I'd been with them, but 2 or 3 would probably say I was still there.

On a serious note, how about this:

Don't play away.

If you are going to go on the lash, say so. She might not like it very much, but she'll know you are truthful about it.

If you need some time alone, say so. She'll understand.

Honesty is the best policy.

[joyeves]

Oh you silly girl, you are fooling nobody.

Whilst you are off with your two boyfriends romping around in your romantic bungalow, your best friend has slipped into bed with your husband.

Both of them text each other the minute you leave the house with your gym bag.

And if they are foreign, then there is every chance that while you are assembling your gym bag, there is every chance that the 2 boyfriends and your husband are also up to hijinx in the kitchen on the bench top.

GRANITE mind you!

Out of interest, when you go to the gym, do you pack up a lot of condoms and sexy lingeries and say, I am off to have sex with someone else :-)

Steveromagino

No, the condoms and sexy lingeries are all stored at my best friends place of course and I will change my dress at her place before I go for my dates. Before returning home I change the dress again at her place. No smell of other men will disturb our relation.

PS: The men forget to brush off ladies hair , jackets are perfumed with lovers perfume, etc

My best friends will never slip into bed with my husband, because I control them all. I tell them my husband is boring, can not do it, has no ideas about it, is stinking like he.. and this puts them off.

We are clever, are we.

[Mighty Mouse]

My best friends will never slip into bed with my husband, because I control them all. I tell them my husband is boring, can not do it, has no ideas about it, is stinking like he.. and this puts them off.

We are clever, are we.

Wrong again !!!

The more you bag your husband the more your best friend's curiosity is raised. She has to find out for herself.

She has found out that your husband IS "boring," and your best friend loves the way your husband bores her. It's like boring a cork screw into a wine cork.

She has found out that he CAN do it. Not just once or twice, but at least four times with only a ten minute break in between.

She has found out that he has some great ideas about doing it too. She had never tried doing it whilst swinging from the chandeliers before. Your husband taught her this and it wasn't just the chandeliers that lit her up.

.........and finally, he doesn't put her off. In fact he puts her ON and she doesn't want to get off...well....she does get off, but not off him......ah, you know what I mean.

[Glauka]

We ladies have the following excuses:

I am going to the gym with my best friend, you know here.

I will take my gym bag and meet another man of course, my best friend will testify that she was with me all the time.

I will stay overnight at my cousins place, she lives in the country side and has no phone and there is no mobile phone connection in that place.

The country side location is in fact a romantic bungalow to meet my other boyfriend. Later my female cousin will tell exactly the same in details what we did etc.

The womans best friends are the best liars.

Men are not so clever about this.

The truth is I am bit shocked with your post...

There is one thing that I don´t agree with you...To cheat onto someone taking advantage of his ignorance about your behaviour and his confidence towards you...It can´t be called cleverness...but the opposite...

Also i don´t understand your lack of respect towards your husband...

Luckily I am not a clever girl...

I am afraid i am being judgemental here but cannot and i don´t want to avoided at this particular moment of my life...

Edited January 26, 2006 by Glauka

[penzman]

"Pai ha sao"

[jackr]

Oh you silly girl, you are fooling nobody.

Whilst you are off with your two boyfriends romping around in your romantic bungalow, your best friend has slipped into bed with your husband.

Both of them text each other the minute you leave the house with your gym bag.

And if they are foreign, then there is every chance that while you are assembling your gym bag, there is every chance that the 2 boyfriends and your husband are also up to hijinx in the kitchen on the bench top.

GRANITE mind you!

Out of interest, when you go to the gym, do you pack up a lot of condoms and sexy lingeries and say, I am off to have sex with someone else :-)

Steveromagino

No, the condoms and sexy lingeries are all stored at my best friends place of course and I will change my dress at her place before I go for my dates. Before returning home I change the dress again at her place. No smell of other men will disturb our relation.

PS: The men forget to brush off ladies hair , jackets are perfumed with lovers perfume, etc

My best friends will never slip into bed with my husband, because I control them all. I tell them my husband is boring, can not do it, has no ideas about it, is stinking like he.. and this puts them off.

We are clever, are we.

Got to be a troll or one of those fluzzie things

[joyeves]

My best friends will never slip into bed with my husband, because I control them all. I tell them my husband is boring, can not do it, has no ideas about it, is stinking like he.. and this puts them off.

We are clever, are we.

Wrong again !!!

The more you bag your husband the more your best friend's curiosity is raised. She has to find out for herself.

She has found out that your husband IS "boring," and your best friend loves the way your husband bores her. It's like boring a cork screw into a wine cork.

She has found out that he CAN do it. Not just once or twice, but at least four times with only a ten minute break in between.

She has found out that he has some great ideas about doing it too. She had never tried doing it whilst swinging from the chandeliers before. Your husband taught her this and it wasn't just the chandeliers that lit her up.

.........and finally, he doesn't put her off. In fact he puts her ON and she doesn't want to get off...well....she does get off, but not off him......ah, you know what I mean.

So you say she will be my enemy at the end. I will turn her around giving her the diamond ring my husband gave me for my birthday. I will tell him I lost it at the gym. Diamonds are the girls best friends, dont you know this. She will prefer diamonds to the four times, she is not active at all. Diamonds turn her on, I know. Machiavelli also used to turn his enemies around with ever lasting gifts.

[Mighty Mouse]

So you say she will be my enemy at the end. I will turn her around giving her the diamond ring my husband gave me for my birthday. I will tell him I lost it at the gym. Diamonds are the girls best friends, dont you know this. She will prefer diamonds to the four times, she is not active at all. Diamonds turn her on, I know. Machiavelli also used to turn his enemies around with ever lasting gifts.

What makes you think your girlfriend would want diamonds instead of taking your husband?

His eyes glitter just as much as diamonds. That's a turn on for her.

Diamonds may be precious but for her, your husband is more precious.

Diamonds are one of the hardest substances known to man, but your girlfriend reckons he is one of the hardest men she has ever met. Seven full size seagulls can stand wing to wing on his hardness. Another wonderful turn on for her.

Now be a good girl and go home to your husband, show your girlfriend the door, no more excuses, no more lovers, no more deceit.

[zzap]

Of course, "Mighty" Mouse, you are the greatest, hardest, most hansum guy, and win every time with your unsurpassed wit and superior intelligence!

And now, playtime is over....

Be a good boy, leave the adults to it and go back into the kitchen, you haven't finished peeling the potatoes!

[Gazza]

"I'm going out with the lads to get rat-arsed. Pick up a few freelancers and have me a threesome for a few hours. Don't wait up for me."

Honesty is the best policy.

I just wish my wife would let me go with her. Sounds like fun.

[Oye at Home]

Whaddaya need an excuse for?

They KNOW what you're doing. You know the consequences of your actions, and they're not that bad (or you wouldn't do it.) Enjoy yourself-- Have a great time!

[greenwanderer108]

The last overnight excuse I used was

Me: Going up country for the night

Her: I'm coming to. Where we going?

Couzin X's friend is having the ordaining party. Drinking all night with the guys. Sure you won't be bored?

Her: Nevermind, I'm not going

Me: Sue it yourself...got a bus to catch. Be back tomorrow. Bye

Was a bullet-proof plan untill a week later when she found the Swenson slip (Bangkok branch) with a bananna split and a shake dated the evening of the supposed ordaining binge .

[seanocasey]

expression used is scissors with fingers and said ill cut your dick off.

Better to be honest i like my dick to much, im attached to it.

[Fast Eddie]

expression used is scissors with fingers and said ill cut your dick off.

Better to be honest i like my dick to much, im attached to it.

Any bird that said that to me, even in jest, would be kicked to the curb so fast her feet wouldn't touch the ground.

[sibeymai]

"Darling, I'm going out to see my girlfriend. Don't know what time I'll be home. Want to come ?"

Wife trusts me so much I could tell her I was seeing her sister. How is this possible ? Go figure.

[Jeff1]

Oh you silly girl, you are fooling nobody.

Whilst you are off with your two boyfriends romping around in your romantic bungalow, your best friend has slipped into bed with your husband.

Both of them text each other the minute you leave the house with your gym bag.

And if they are foreign, then there is every chance that while you are assembling your gym bag, there is every chance that the 2 boyfriends and your husband are also up to hijinx in the kitchen on the bench top.

GRANITE mind you!

Out of interest, when you go to the gym, do you pack up a lot of condoms and sexy lingeries and say, I am off to have sex with someone else :-)

Steveromagino

No, the condoms and sexy lingeries are all stored at my best friends place of course and I will change my dress at her place before I go for my dates. Before returning home I change the dress again at her place. No smell of other men will disturb our relation.

PS: The men forget to brush off ladies hair , jackets are perfumed with lovers perfume, etc

My best friends will never slip into bed with my husband, because I control them all. I tell them my husband is boring, can not do it, has no ideas about it, is stinking like he.. and this puts them off.

We are clever, are we.

Very clever - What are you doing tomorrow night ?