German Seeks Runaway Thai Wife For Son's Sake

[jackr]

^^ Beat me to it, thought it was a different thread. Is the guy getting any joy?

Edited October 15, 2012 by jackr

[noitom]

Who in his right mind comes to Thailand, with no job or income, meets some girl and decides to buy a house and a car, knowing full well that the only money he has is "only" 10 million baht (so let's say £200,000 roughly) entrusted to him by his dying grandfather, and proceeds to blow it all in just 2 years? Must have been a great 2 years, and I imagine plenty of champagne was drunk and drugs consumed. This man is a 42-year-old idiot and deserves not a shred of sympathy. However, it must be said there are many like him (in a way), who come to Thailand, leaving their job back home, decide to stay, and blow through their meagre savings, with the kind assistance of a young Thai woman, and eventually find themselves living in the gutter, or almost in it, in Pattaya. The stupidity of foreigners in Thailand never ceases to amaze me. His grandfather must be turning in his grave.

10 million baht is not a "meagre sum." Second, it is possible to use that money as investment income and live happily ever after. You are right about so many people being overly generous like a running money faucet with Thai women and their families. The only practical way to treat money with Thais is to do it sparingly as an obligation or as an investment. This poor guy was lightning struck by this Thai woman and lost sanity ie. repeating the same mistakes over and over expecting the results to be different.

[Ferangled]

protect yourself with a 30+30+30 year lease

This is possible if the plot of land is not sold to another new owner or the land owner stay alive long enough to renew your lease terms (and he could up the lease price each term). Other than this, it is fallacious to think that you can lease a plot of land for 90 years under Thai civil laws.

Under Thai civil laws, a long term lease of a plot of land can be up to a maximum lease period of 30 years. The law also provides for leasing land for the life period of the land owner or the lessee.

Exactly, the implication of the previous post being that there were 3 x 30 year leases in place, giving 90 years . . . which is just not (legally) possible.

No, the implication being you can sign a legally binding lease for 30 years with provision for 2x 30 year extensions. If the implication had been that you could sign a lease of 90 years, that is what I would have written. I believe the real issue here is how the laws are applied differs from area to area which leads to confusion and results in people not adequately protecting themselves from scams.

Taking this story as an example it has been suggested that this man could have protected himself by...

A. Having a lease drawn up in his name, legally protecting him from being forcibly removed from his own house. Most seem to agree that this is totally feasible & legal. The lengths of lease terms & numbers of extensions of lease permitted seems to be a subject for debate.

B. Putting the title deed for the land, the chanote, in his child's name. Whether or not this is possible is getting a mixed reaction. Most seem to agree it is feasible but in my experience age stipulations have been enforced by local land offices, while another poster mentions that while legally a Thai child of any age can own land some land offices won't transfer until a certain age, seemingly making up their own rules from province to province.

I think this is the most pertinent point made here with regard to any legal dispute in Thailand:

when and if push comes to shove, I believe if you are going up against a Thai, you'll lose, no matter what pretty pieces of paper you may have and no matter what fancy lawyers you might have used.

Which makes it all the more important that any deals you enter into here, either business or property related, are done only with people you know and trust. To be honest I'd apply the same caution in any country. I wouldn't rent a property from a landlord that I didn't know /trust to a certain extent so it seems crazy to enter into a long term lease/ land deal with someone you don't know & trust.

So many on here seem to regard their marriages/ relationships as business arrangements it's quite sad that this basis of trust has been lost. Personally if I didn't love and trust my partner I wouldn't have married her and raised a family - IMHO having a child with someone is a far larger commitment than buying a house/ land.

[turgid]

As farangs we don't need to judge him lets give this guy some supporting advice that will help him get him and his son out of this hell hole of a culture of negative thinking that farangs are nothing but dogs? 10 million baht even here doesn't go very far... for very long! especially for a guy 42 years of age. He's young enough and most likely have family help in Germany! I wish him and his son luck!! get out while you can!

I agree on the judgement. Loneliness and love can do weird things to all of us and i prefer these forums to contribute to learning rather than personal abuse but a few thing strike me as odd about this story

His Grandfather had died so lets cut him some slack for being in an emotional state about that. That said I would say its pretty unusual for a man in is late 30s to "come to Thailand to look after his grandfather" for several years so I do wonder if that story will stand up to the test of time. It says he burned through the money in two years but he may well have been living an expensive lifestyle before that if his grandfather was funding it. It would be easy to spend 8M Bht on a reasonable house and car (it would buy an average two bed condo in BKK or Phuket) if you had the funds to support it He may also be smarter than we all think. There may have been a lot more money than reported. He's realized whats going on and is willing to write off the house and the car but doesn't want to have to give up half of everything else. She knows there is more and is holding the kid to ransom. He's raising the stakes by going public with it and painting her as the villain..

I know several people who have bought properties in younger wives names in either Cebu or Thailand. When i have discussed the total loss risk with them all three have been upset at me suggesting it but have also acknowledged the risk and not committed more than 20% of their money to fixed local asserts. They hold the rest offshore. Their worst case scenario is just to run away and write off 20% . However i know a 4th guy with Kids and his (second) thai wife has sadly just picked up a gambling habit which has drained his bank accounts and forced him to sell his car. But his house is on a loan so she has nothing more to gain and if he's smart his income is now outside of Thailand and he'll hold on to it.

[Vale Tudo]

As farangs we don't need to judge him lets give this guy some supporting advice that will help him get him and his son out of this hell hole of a culture of negative thinking that farangs are nothing but dogs? 10 million baht even here doesn't go very far... for very long! especially for a guy 42 years of age. He's young enough and most likely have family help in Germany! I wish him and his son luck!! get out while you can!

I agree on the judgement. Loneliness and love can do weird things to all of us and i prefer these forums to contribute to learning rather than personal abuse but a few thing strike me as odd about this story

His Grandfather had died so lets cut him some slack for being in an emotional state about that. That said I would say its pretty unusual for a man in is late 30s to "come to Thailand to look after his grandfather" for several years so I do wonder if that story will stand up to the test of time. It says he burned through the money in two years but he may well have been living an expensive lifestyle before that if his grandfather was funding it. It would be easy to spend 8M Bht on a reasonable house and car (it would buy an average two bed condo in BKK or Phuket) if you had the funds to support it He may also be smarter than we all think. There may have been a lot more money than reported. He's realized whats going on and is willing to write off the house and the car but doesn't want to have to give up half of everything else. She knows there is more and is holding the kid to ransom. He's raising the stakes by going public with it and painting her as the villain..

I know several people who have bought properties in younger wives names in either Cebu or Thailand. When i have discussed the total loss risk with them all three have been upset at me suggesting it but have also acknowledged the risk and not committed more than 20% of their money to fixed local asserts. They hold the rest offshore. Their worst case scenario is just to run away and write off 20% . However i know a 4th guy with Kids and his (second) thai wife has sadly just picked up a gambling habit which has drained his bank accounts and forced him to sell his car. But his house is on a loan so she has nothing more to gain and if he's smart his income is now outside of Thailand and he'll hold on to it.

With that money he could have bought himself 5-6 bank repossession properties in Spain right now and rented them for an income of 3,000 Euros per month easily.Owned them all legally in his name and never had to work again for the rest of his life!

[noob7]

10 million baht is not a "meagre sum." Second, it is possible to use that money as investment income and live happily ever after.

Not with a bar girl plus family! The need of houses, cars and motorcycles can't be feed by the interest of only 10 Million Baht.

Let it be around 400.000/year. That is not even 35k/month.

[DocN]

As farangs we don't need to judge him lets give this guy some supporting advice that will help him get him and his son out of this hell hole of a culture of negative thinking that farangs are nothing but dogs? 10 million baht even here doesn't go very far... for very long! especially for a guy 42 years of age. He's young enough and most likely have family help in Germany! I wish him and his son luck!! get out while you can!

I agree on the judgement. Loneliness and love can do weird things to all of us and i prefer these forums to contribute to learning rather than personal abuse but a few thing strike me as odd about this story

His Grandfather had died so lets cut him some slack for being in an emotional state about that. That said I would say its pretty unusual for a man in is late 30s to "come to Thailand to look after his grandfather" for several years so I do wonder if that story will stand up to the test of time. It says he burned through the money in two years but he may well have been living an expensive lifestyle before that if his grandfather was funding it. It would be easy to spend 8M Bht on a reasonable house and car (it would buy an average two bed condo in BKK or Phuket) if you had the funds to support it He may also be smarter than we all think. There may have been a lot more money than reported. He's realized whats going on and is willing to write off the house and the car but doesn't want to have to give up half of everything else. She knows there is more and is holding the kid to ransom. He's raising the stakes by going public with it and painting her as the villain..

I know several people who have bought properties in younger wives names in either Cebu or Thailand. When i have discussed the total loss risk with them all three have been upset at me suggesting it but have also acknowledged the risk and not committed more than 20% of their money to fixed local asserts. They hold the rest offshore. Their worst case scenario is just to run away and write off 20% . However i know a 4th guy with Kids and his (second) thai wife has sadly just picked up a gambling habit which has drained his bank accounts and forced him to sell his car. But his house is on a loan so she has nothing more to gain and if he's smart his income is now outside of Thailand and he'll hold on to it.

Oh come on guys!

Sound advice?

Maybe even compassion?

What dirty words are these?

That would keep 60% of all TV posters practically away from posting, as they are more intelligent, better with money, wiser in their way with women etcpp.

No,no...bash the farang for his stupidity and don't forget to mention, that it would never happen to you!

Or better...state that all Thais are angels and would never do such things as stated in the OP and that it must have been the abusive farangs fault, his loving wife left him.

[yoshiwara]

Sometimes there is no solution and the situation really is hopeless. Life doesn't always oblige with a happy ending.

[noob7]

Life doesn't always oblige with a happy ending.

How is this topic changing into Thai Massage?

Edited October 16, 2012 by noob7

[Toscano]

Foreign men can be very foolish coming to Thailand and taking up with pretty Thai women . The easiest places to find them are in bars at Pattaya , Bangkok and Phuket . People here say once a bar girl always a bar girl . I would say that the mother-in-law had no right to throw him out of the house , even if the house was registered in her name . The house was Mr Stephan's home and he has every right to stay there , especially with his son . I hear so many stories of men spending their all on a woman , building a house far too grand and expensive and when all the money's gone being told to get out .

[Toscano]

Foreign men coming to Thailand , finding a pretty Girl/Woman , should visit regularly from their homeland before deciding to settle in Thailand , so that he knows her and her family .<p>Thai women are ONLY interested in MONEY , however sweet they can be . If the wife doesn't have a home of her own , buy a Condo in your name , rent an apartment , or house in a nice enclosed housing estate with clubhouse and swimming pool . If a girlfriend owns a country house , in poor condition , renovate it . Spending millions of Baht to buy land and build a house is madness . Always keep one's source of income and capital in one's homeland ; bring in monthly only the reqired amount , have your own Thai bank account , never a joint account . Men should try to meet women , nearer their own age%

[elektrified]

Who in his right mind comes to Thailand, with no job or income, meets some girl and decides to buy a house and a car, knowing full well that the only money he has is "only" 10 million baht (so let's say £200,000 roughly) entrusted to him by his dying grandfather, and proceeds to blow it all in just 2 years? Must have been a great 2 years, and I imagine plenty of champagne was drunk and drugs consumed. This man is a 42-year-old idiot and deserves not a shred of sympathy. However, it must be said there are many like him (in a way), who come to Thailand, leaving their job back home, decide to stay, and blow through their meagre savings, with the kind assistance of a young Thai woman, and eventually find themselves living in the gutter, or almost in it, in Pattaya. The stupidity of foreigners in Thailand never ceases to amaze me. His grandfather must be turning in his grave.

Can you give him a little credit for being a caring father?

[dalsobrook]

These people have heard of DNA right? Sounds like grandma isn't much better than her daughter. Got money? You stay. No money? Oh, you have to go.

[belg]

to people who are not expats with a package and blow 80.000 - 150.000 a month ( !!!!) for the future of their kids :

put them in private school in stead of international .... saves you 1.000.000 baht per year for 15 years... put that on the bank at 3%

and give them a nice return when they turn 18 or 21 and they will never have to worry about money in their life ever again

so how smart/stupid are you to spend you money on an overpriced international school, designed only to milk big companies that pay for everything for their expat employee, which in my eyes is a big waiste of money anyway, paying a farang 300.000-500.000 baht, just for being mangager and FARANG while you could really find a good manager locally for 100.000 or less

jealous ? not really, as I am not a work slave for many many years , but still not pension age

[Ferangled]

to people who are not expats with a package and blow 80.000 - 150.000 a month ( !!!!) for the future of their kids :

put them in private school in stead of international .... saves you 1.000.000 baht per year for 15 years... put that on the bank at 3%

and give them a nice return when they turn 18 or 21 and they will never have to worry about money in their life ever again

so how smart/stupid are you to spend you money on an overpriced international school, designed only to milk big companies that pay for everything for their expat employee, which in my eyes is a big waiste of money anyway, paying a farang 300.000-500.000 baht, just for being mangager and FARANG while you could really find a good manager locally for 100.000 or less

jealous ? not really, as I am not a work slave for many many years , but still not pension age

Firstly your figures seem to have been plucked from your imagination; please provide details of your "international" & private schools which vary in cost by 1,000,000 bt each year and your "mangagers" earning 300,000 - 500,000 baht a month...

Secondly you seem to make no distinction between education and financial wealth. The sole purpose of education isn't to create stupid but wealthy people but effectively that seems to be your rational; hell why bother sending your children to school at all? You might as well set them to work from birth and have them retire by the age of 18, uneducated but wealthy.

What someone is prepared to pay/ sacrifice for the education of their own children has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. Personally ensuring the happiness, security and best education possible for my children is priceless to me and I don't equate it to a financial investment. I'm not expecting them to take care of me or become fabulously rich; I'm trying to give them the best possible start so that they are equipped to make their own decisions in life and hopefully grow up to become decent, intelligent people.

They go to a private school, not an "international" and it costs a fortune relative to our earnings - again I'm not sure what you are alluding to by "international" schools. The well known "international" school in our area is in fact not an international school at all; it's simply another private school that used to have ties to a UK school which have long since been severed. The prices are inflated at c.200,000 bt more than other private schools in our area per year, nowhere near 1,000,000 baht more, in fact the total fees are less than that each year as they are at all the private schools in our area.

The big distinction between private schools for me is what curriculum they run; I imagine you are alluding to private Thai schools running Thai curriculum with perhaps the addition of an English language program. They tend to be (not always) cheaper than private schools that run a full international program, either following UK or US curriculum. The international curriculum is an important factor as it enables your children to apply directly to universities in the UK or US from school. For most expats that's a worthwhile consideration but I guess if you have already made the decision that your children will only ever study and work in Thailand that's your prerogative, personally I'd prefer to give them the option...

[SteeleJoe]

to people who are not expats with a package and blow 80.000 - 150.000 a month ( !!!!) for the future of their kids :

put them in private school in stead of international .... saves you 1.000.000 baht per year for 15 years... put that on the bank at 3%

and give them a nice return when they turn 18 or 21 and they will never have to worry about money in their life ever again

so how smart/stupid are you to spend you money on an overpriced international school, designed only to milk big companies that pay for everything for their expat employee, which in my eyes is a big waiste of money anyway, paying a farang 300.000-500.000 baht, just for being mangager and FARANG while you could really find a good manager locally for 100.000 or less

jealous ? not really, as I am not a work slave for many many years , but still not pension age

...Secondly you seem to make no distinction between education and financial wealth. The sole purpose of education isn't to create stupid but wealthy people but effectively that seems to be your rational; hell why bother sending your children to school at all? You might as well set them to work from birth and have them retire by the age of 18, uneducated but wealthy.

What someone is prepared to pay/ sacrifice for the education of their own children has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. Personally ensuring the happiness, security and best education possible for my children is priceless to me and I don't equate it to a financial investment. I'm not expecting them to take care of me or become fabulously rich; I'm trying to give them the best possible start so that they are equipped to make their own decisions in life and hopefully grow up to become decent, intelligent people.

...The international curriculum is an important factor as it enables your children to apply directly to universities in the UK or US from school. For most expats that's a worthwhile consideration but I guess if you have already made the decision that your children will only ever study and work in Thailand that's your prerogative, personally I'd prefer to give them the option...

Spot on. Kudos.

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