My Wife Has Thrown Me In The Deep End!

[Rsquared]

Ok.....I've got no-one else to blame but myself.

Been living here 2 years now and still cannot hold a conversation in Thai. Trust me I have tried. I am surrounded by Thai language day and night. My silly little brain just seems to say "tools down" when I want it to learn the Thai language.

Recently, my wife has managed to tell everyone "oh it's ok, he doesn't say much, but he understands everything you say".

No I Do Not!!!!!

Just this afternoon as I was walking back to the house from down the backyard (6 rai), my neighbour called me over for a drink...I cannot say no. Anyway he starts talking to me like I was born here. I smile and shake my head and raise my hands palm-up.

.......so he starts talking slower.....doesn't make any difference, I still have no idea what the hell he is on about.

I feel like when you are dead tired and you know you have to get some sleep because you have to get up early in the morning, and if you don't sleep, you have a long day ahead of you, and you just know that you will not cope......but no matter how hard you try.....you just cannot get to sleep.

The same happens with me and trying to learn Thai.

Anyone else in the same boat as me?

[samran]

Get some lessons in reading and writing. It will help a lot.

[muythai2013]

if you dont want to learn it will be very hard, good luck.

[Songhua]

I agree with samran. Although tedious, do half an hour of the basics per day. Not everyone has a natural aptitude for it and it can really help to start to get an idea of the structure first. Then go from there ... it's a bit like a jigsaw. Start with the alphabet just like a pre-schooler might.

[Dancealot]

Start learning and writing words in Thai you are comfortable with. You have to start somewhere.

[Familyonthemove]

How are you trying to learn? I made the most progress with formal lessons twice a week from a good teacher. Just being surrounded by Thai speakers will not do the trick.

You need to try and use Thai to help you remember it. Reading books or thinking Thai phrases in your head will not work - you need to say it out loud and use the phrases.

My Thai is still not good .... but I now can understand slow/clear conversation. I've found watching 'Lakorn' Thai Soap Operas also helps - as (when they are not shouting at each other or fighting) they tend to speak slowly and clearly ... and the pace of Thai TV soap is so painfully slow you can pick up the meaning.

I found learning to read Thai almost impossible .... no capital letters, no gaps after sentences, some letters not pronounced in the order they appear .... forget it!

[Vinny1967]

I'm in the same boat as the OP.Pretty much sick of been left out of conversations cause I can't speak thai.I told my other half that I wanted to get some lessons and she just said that it would be a waste of money cause I'll pick up the lingo eventually.We only talked about it tonight.We were around at her sisters and her sister wanted to know why I never talk to her.Might be something to do with the fact that I don't speak thai,and she don't speak english.

[Rob8891]

How are you trying to learn? I made the most progress with formal lessons twice a week from a good teacher. Just being surrounded by Thai speakers will not do the trick.

You need to try and use Thai to help you remember it. Reading books or thinking Thai phrases in your head will not work - you need to say it out loud and use the phrases.

My Thai is still not good .... but I now can understand slow/clear conversation. I've found watching 'Lakorn' Thai Soap Operas also helps - as (when they are not shouting at each other or fighting) they tend to speak slowly and clearly ... and the pace of Thai TV soap is so painfully slow you can pick up the meaning.

I found learning to read Thai almost impossible .... no capital letters, no gaps after sentences, some letters not pronounced in the order they appear .... forget it!

I'm in the same boat as the OP.Pretty much sick of been left out of conversations cause I can't speak thai.I told my other half that I wanted to get some lessons and she just said that it would be a waste of money cause I'll pick up the lingo eventually.We only talked about it tonight.We were around at her sisters and her sister wanted to know why I never talk to her.Might be something to do with the fact that I don't speak thai,and she don't speak english.

+1

[Tywais]

I've found watching 'Lakorn' Thai Soap Operas also helps - as (when they are not shouting at each other or fighting) they tend to speak slowly and clearly ... and the pace of Thai TV soap is so painfully slow you can pick up the meaning.

Watching Thai news is also a good place as they use Central (Bangkok or formal) Thai and are succinct in their pronunciations. Also you have the context of the news story to get the idea of what is going on.

[HeavyDrinker]

Don't panic is the first and golden rule.

Take your own time.

I can understand your wife's method, however only you can dictate your own learning pace and method.

No-one is going to judge you and your efforts will be appreciated but walk before you can run.

Try some of the books around like Teach Yourself Thai which is excellent or the equally excellent Thai For Beginners if you can't find a teacher. This will at least give you a grounding in the language.

I wish you well!

[Rob8891]

I bought "Speak Thai" Vol 1 from learnspeakthai.com. It comes with a DVD to help get the hang of tones. It's good, but I have to admit I have not put sufficient effort into it.

[rene123]

I can't understand marrying someone and not being able to converse. And, it you both decide to live in Thailand then that should be the obvious language to learn. It might be different if the wife came to live in your country.

[roamer]

Don't try to read or write Thai.

It's good if you can do it but takes dedication you don't have, not yet at least.

The advantage of having a Thai teacher is that it puts your instruction on a regular basis.

It's eminently doable. Spend 40 hours with a Thai teacher, if you can't speak some Thai by the end of it then it's time to accept your really a root vegetable and this is an alternative reality.

Edited January 19, 2013 by roamer

[damo]

I would recomend learning to read Thai and its phonetics and learning to speak at the same time, the two go together.

Is your lack of learning Thai a lack of effort or are you perhaps tone deaf?

[martynsnowmans]

depends on age , you cant teach an old dog new tricks .... i got over the problem by moving from the village

to the city here ( udon thani ) more people speak english in udon than in the u.k now . and my tw,s english

spelling is better than mine .

[Bluetongue]

After 2 years IMO you should be able to handle simple functional conversations. Where are you going, where is the bathroom, what are you eating, what time is it, how old are you, name, where from, what job etc. If you cannot do that, from just being here then you probably should try some help. Again IMO it's the next step up that is the harder, ie more detailed conversation including humour, emotion, increased vocabulary, correct pronunciation and order of speech, recognition of the different pronunciations of the same word such as mai or ruay or soi. I'm somewhere in the middle of this phase now. I like to try and "get" one thing every day. Even if I subsequently forget, usually I dont. I have been here full time for 4 years, before that a lot of part time presence.

I tried once to get formal schooling in it at the Institute of Modern Languages, Uni of Qld and failed due at least in part to the fact that the teacher was a student herself, employed at the last moment to fill in and really had not seen the syllabus or any teaching skills. Since then I've tried to teach myself the alphabet two more times and I just put myself to sleep so I only know a few letters but I am enjoying the Andrew Biggs series on TV at the moment. I haven't been to his web site yet but I've been thinking over the last few weeks that I will make another effort.

[Rsquared]

Thanks for all your input.

I have started and failed a few self learn courses, but seem to become easily distracted and nothing seems to stick.

Trust me I really do want to learn.

So at the moment I am slowwwly going through High Speed Thai, so I am learning to read and write. I just need to get myself into a routine and dedicate at least an hour or two each day. As I am way out in the sticks, I am the only farang for miles, so it is essential for me to learn......I refer to my OP relating the sleep analogy.

Cheers.

[Sharp]

Thanks for all your input.

I have started and failed a few self learn courses, but seem to become easily distracted and nothing seems to stick.

Trust me I really do want to learn.

So at the moment I am slowwwly going through High Speed Thai, so I am learning to read and write. I just need to get myself into a routine and dedicate at least an hour or two each day. As I am way out in the sticks, I am the only farang for miles, so it is essential for me to learn......I refer to my OP relating the sleep analogy.

Cheers.

Forget reading or writing just start slowly to learn the way the wifey speaks ask wot it means then write it down the way you would say it ...

I.E.

Im going to the market....

Pom bai pat ta lad kap.

This is only way I do it but it works for me mostly ....might not for others but give it a try.

Good luck man...

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

[whybother]

Forget reading or writing just start slowly to learn the way the wifey speaks ask wot it means then write it down the way you would say it ...

...

People learn in different ways. Learning to read Thai can help as it is another input. Also, being able to read simple signs in Thai can make everyday life a little simpler.

[Rsquared]

Since I intend to live the rest of my life here, I do want to learn to read and write.

Reading the introduction to High Speed Thai, makes a lot of sense. For starters (my understanding) is that there is no ambiguity to confuse us if you can read. The word is pronounced as it is written, with all the information within telling you the class and tone. So one word has one meaning,(I'm just talking basics here) although to our untrained ears they sound the same, but if you see their spelling, then you can know the difference.

Just look at the confusion native english speakers have with "their", "there", "they're".....all pronounced the same, yet have different meanings.

Cheers.

Edited January 20, 2013 by Rsquared

[weegee]

Thanks for all your input.

I have started and failed a few self learn courses, but seem to become easily distracted and nothing seems to stick.

Trust me I really do want to learn.

So at the moment I am slowwwly going through High Speed Thai, so I am learning to read and write. I just need to get myself into a routine and dedicate at least an hour or two each day. As I am way out in the sticks, I am the only farang for miles, so it is essential for me to learn......I refer to my OP relating the sleep analogy.

Cheers.

If you dont learn it...You dont have to take sides in an argument....has it's advantages.

[beano2274]

Been here 6 years and can only just put a sentence together now, never really needed to speak Thai as my wife speaks English on a daily basis at her work, but I just started picking up words, sure my pronunciation is not that good, but picked the words up repeated them and just learned a few new words.

My understanding of Thai is a lot better as my wife watches Thai TV and that does help, I hear words I know and listen to the next ones then ask her what it all means.

The worst thing for me is that my MIL is a Thai language teacher at primary level.

[loong]

Don't try to read or write Thai.

It's good if you can do it but takes dedication you don't have, not yet at least.

The advantage of having a Thai teacher is that it puts your instruction on a regular basis.

It's eminently doable. Spend 40 hours with a Thai teacher, if you can't speak some Thai by the end of it then it's time to accept your really a root vegetable and this is an alternative reality.

Although it is not so important to be able to write Thai, IMO learning to read, even a little bit can be extremely useful. It really helps with the correct pronunciation of a word.

In post #18

Im going to the market....

Pom bai pat ta lad kap.

Pom bai pat ta lad kap. (I've no idea what "pat" is meant to represent)

I would write it as

Pom bpai dtalaht krup

ผม ไป ตลาด ครับ

Neither is an ideal transliteration, and much easier to pronounce correctly if you see it written in Thai

[krisb]

Just tell your wife its a case of dilligaf

[PapaNasty]

I'm in the countryside aswell so know how you feel. its a bit frustrating, id love to take a professional course in Thai via a university or similar but its simply not possible. so what ive done is below:

Start by learning the Thai alphabet, it's easier than everyone thinks and once you learn it you'll learn a lot of new words just by reading random signs, it also helps a lot with your pronounciation when you understand the different letters.

With all of the rules etc it'd be hard work to learn it all perfectly, so just initially concentrate on the constants (learn them via a combination of "Gor Eire gor gai" song + flash cards), then the vowels etc.

Then start learning additional vocabulary via flash cards.

With your flash cards, you can make them yourself with the aid of a dictionary, then get them laminated. Try to use a picture on one side (or English word if you cant find a good picture), And then ideally the word in Thai script on the other, as it'll help you to practice reading too (ideally with a note to tell you the tones, but tones are very difficult to master).

If you try to learn between 2 and 5 new words a day (but practice the last maybe 20 or so words which you've tried to learn), you'll be speaking like a pro in no time.

As you get better, include sentences a your flash cards. And when you goto restaurants etc, try to order/speak yourself, instead of letting your wife do it for you.

Also, get a talking dictionary on your phone/computer, I think my one is by paiboon or word in the hand, and is really good. Particularly if you get it on your phone and then look up words as you want to use them in conversations etc.

[Semper]

more people speak english in udon than in the u.k now

[thenervoussurgeon]

I speak and understand some Thai"not a lot" but its a problem because the moment you ask for something or what the price is ,they assume you speak fluent Thai ,its bad enough with strangers in shops ect but one of my wifes uncles will insist on trying to hold a conversation with me ,its best to just say nothing in Thai unless you are fluent ,luckily most of my wife's familly speak english.

[Dancealot]

Since I intend to live the rest of my life here, I do want to learn to read and write.

Reading the introduction to High Speed Thai, makes a lot of sense. For starters (my understanding) is that there is no ambiguity to confuse us if you can read. The word is pronounced as it is written, with all the information within telling you the class and tone. So one word has one meaning,(I'm just talking basics here) although to our untrained ears they sound the same, but if you see their spelling, then you can know the difference.

Just look at the confusion native english speakers have with "their", "there", "they're".....all pronounced the same, yet have different meanings.

Cheers.

I think you just need some extra stimulation to learn. I keep hearing too many times Farang wont or are not able to learn or simply too lazy. My stimulus is i do not want to be like them. I also feel obligated to learn as a sign of respect to the Thai people around me.

Consider learning like you just bought a professional camera when you are still an amateur. A world of options opens for you and it is up to you to choose which options you will be needing and learning for yourself...

And believe me RXsquared , you are not alone..

[LarryBird]

Thanks for all your input.

I have started and failed a few self learn courses, but seem to become easily distracted and nothing seems to stick.

Trust me I really do want to learn.

So at the moment I am slowwwly going through High Speed Thai, so I am learning to read and write. I just need to get myself into a routine and dedicate at least an hour or two each day. As I am way out in the sticks, I am the only farang for miles, so it is essential for me to learn......I refer to my OP relating the sleep analogy.

Cheers.

If your life depended on it, would you be putting forth the same effort you have to this point? It looks like the answer is no. Since you're a golfer, I'll give you an analogy.. You're like the guy that doesn't practice or play golf more than once a month, but when he goes out, he expects to hit every shot perfect. But in your case, the guy isn't very athletic either, and he knows it.

The reality is, your life in a way does depend on it. For the situation described, you will depend on thai people for your social outlet. You will have to be extremely good at thai to have any sort of meaningful conversations. As humans, most of us need social interaction. I really don't see how you've made it this long to be honest.

So.. ya, my recommendation to you is to treat it as a matter of life and death. Get all of the available resources.. Benjawan Poomsan Becker makes great stuff.. Start with her beginners books.. Get her other supplements as well. Use the Anki flash card technology available online, etc etc.. Have your wife do recordings of different words, and you try to repeat them.

You can do it, you're just not giving it anywhere close to 100%, and that's what it takes.

[TomTao]

I have been here a little over two and a half years, I haven't put much effort into learning reading and writing, I have tried to learn a young child does, that is by learning to speak first, I can put short sentences together but I can't hold any more than basic conversations yet. My wife helps me when I ask, but I have found that I pick up the language quicker now when I am alone. The Thais I socialise with say I am learning very quickly, they also say I speak with a very clear southern accent. I have one advantage, when I was in the navy I was exposed to multiple languages and I could say hello and other basic greetings in several Asian languages, but I have forgotten most now because of lack of practice. Learning a language is a bit like learning music, once you have the basics and learn to hear the tones it starts getting easier to pick up, the rest is practice.

Edited January 20, 2013 by TomTao