Age Difference With Babies = Happiness?

[Kitsune]

I agree with FDog

Well the law and I beg to disagree

His daughter IS his family and he has a responsibility to her and her children.

If she would be in need regardless her age, by law he has to help her.

So if he's already doing a bad job at taking care of her, very selfish indeed to start a new family

What a load of tosh. His daughter, if an adult, must take care of herself. His job is complete with her. Her children are for her to care for, nothing to do with him if he doesn't want to.

As his current child is not of age then he has MORE responsibility to that one.

The law won't compel him to care for his grandchildren, not his problem.

Edit: If the daughter wants to shame him into taking care of the grandkids then she is a complete <deleted>. Her kids are her responsibility and hers and the fathers responsibility only.

Touched a nerve ?

FDog is correct and your response is laughable, far too many " Kidults " seem to think that there parents owe them a living for the rest of their lives.

Older parents, especially one's with previous families, had better take care of the legal situation in regards to their families. I know of one young girl in Chiang Mai who has been abandoned without assistance by her Farang family since the death of her father last year. The father made no provision for his daughter in his will. It doesn't look like the family in question are prepared to send a penny her way to help out with school fees and the like.

I reckon the OP was a bit passive aggressive in challenging out the " haters ", but if anything comes from this topic then it should be that you older parents will ensure that your young new baby will not be left high and dry in the event of your untimely death.

Guys in their 50's tend to be closer to the end than the beginning, how many of you even have a will in place?

Here are some the references of articles of laws depending which state you are from, I obviously did put them all 2010 Idaho Code

TITLE 32 DOMESTIC RELATIONS

CHAPTER 10 PARENT AND CHILD

32-1002 RECIPROCAL DUTIES OF SUPPORT.

Montana Code 40-6-214 - Reciprocal duties of parents and children in maintaining each other West Virginia W. VA. Code § 9-5-9 (Liability of relatives for support, including children, parents, brothers & sisters) Pennsylvania 23 Pa. C.S.A. §§ 4601 thru 4606 (Duty of parents to indigent child and child to indigent parents)

[Kitsune]

Well I have a pet fly and we are so happy together, shall I open a topic too ?

His parents don't approve and so do most of our friends ... People can be so judgmental

You do know that you are replying to yourself ...

.

Not replying...talking to himself

again who is he ?

[Chittychangchang]

To the OP

You are 55 with an 18 month old baby girl - You will be 72 when she leaves school!

Are you in good health? Will you walk her down the aisle? Will you be there for her?

You work for 4 months then see her for 2 months! I do hope the sacrifice of all the time you are missing with your daughter is not in vain and you are providing for HER future with some sort of trust in case the unexpected happened.

I started my family in my early 30's and spend every day with them and am knackered.

I sincerely wish you and your family all the best but don't understand why you have started this topic.

Maybe you want to hear that "It's selfish and irresponsible to have children at your time of life ".

CCC

[Jigger]

Sad that daddy will probably be dead before the kid reaches 18

[AnotherOneAmerican]

So there begs a question for you older gents, what guarantee do you have that any assets you leave to your wife will still be there for your kids when they come of age? If you don't ring fence the assets then you are taking the same risk that my ex took and it has back fired on her.

Why would anyone care what happens to a wife or children after they are dead?

The wife almost certainly won't care what happens to the husband after she is dead.

(Backed up by many studies)

Treat women like adults, they don't need you to 'take care', and if they do need a man to 'take care' then they aren't worth marrying.

As for children coming of age, let them make it on their own by their own strength of character. Unless you expect to produce weak children.

I find it unbelievable that in this modern age so many expect someone else to provide, it must come from those living in a nanny state.

Edited June 5, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[MissFarmGirl]

.

My Dad was in his 50's when I was born and I can tell you this.

There is no-one, repeat no-one on this planet happier then me that he made that decision all those a moderate number of those years ago ...

Job well done Dad (and Mum) ...

.

if you most happy man, I second most happy

sad but I never get to meet them

I meet only your lovely Uncle

[TexasRanger]

43 with 7 week old baby. Got all my wild ways behind me and hopefully enough in place for her if anything happened to me. Too many people worry about age, any one of us could drop dead tomorrow.

[cardholder]

dont old farts +50 want to see their kids grow up and get married before they die?

putting a life in to this world comes with responsibility and not leaving you kid with some young thai girl..

That's what's effectively happened in the case I referred to, although the mother is not all that young. The mother is now scrabbling around the place on the Thai economy earning a pittance, and the child is suffering due to the abandonment. I heard the other week that's she's looking underfed.

I cannot believe this was ever the intention of her father. Setting aside the emotional trauma of a child losing a parent, what have you older fathers actually done to secure your child's well being? Have you at least written a will?

Family Planning should include financial planning.

As it happens, the best thing an 'old fart' (from the UK) can do is get his wife pregnant shortly before his demise (actually somebody else

can get her pregnant, paternity does not matter).

There are benefits to be had from both private pensions and also the UK government.

Should I father a child in the future both mother and child will be adequately provided for - both during my life and after.

[thehelmsman]

If all threads on here were started with a good reason or purpose then there would be very little for many members to amuse themselves with. This (TV Forum) is for the most part entertainment - not much else. A place to share ideas and thoughts.

Many good comments about having a will - BUT this is also true for everyone regardless of age. Does anybody believe that a child is worse off with an older father than to never had a chance at life?????? There is no sure thing for anyone regardless of age. Think too much...............

[thaipod]

Had my son when I was 50 who is now 10 years old never regretted having him later in life and have grandchildren older than him ,so he is their uncle which they find hilarious and enjoy introducing him to their friends to see their reaction and my son in law likes to joke with him and calls him the brother in law .

But do wonder about the older men I have seen recently in the last visit to Pattaya . One guy I saw must have been in his 70's pushing a pram and a wife in her 30's

[wedders]

56, with a 4 year old. But a single dad. To those who mentioned energy levels, raising a kid on your own is a real challenge. Especially with smuggling the ladies in and out in the small hours, handling the occasional nightmare and wet nappy (from the littl'un mostly), then getting up not long after 6 to get her ready for school, brekkie, school run etc.

But I'm loving it, no regrets. Forces me to make a serious effort to keep fit too, which has side benefits.

[seajae]

I turn 60 in a couple of weeks and although I like babies and kids I couldnt handle a baby full time now. I have an 18 y/o in Australia and a 14 y/o here, that is enough for me. I have raised 3 kids and been a dad to many more, I think being around kids makes you feel younger and gives us a lot of joy but there is a cut off point. Like someone else said, when you see guys in the 60's, 70's with babies you have to wonder if it was just a "man proving" thing for them as they will not be around for the kids as they grow which I think is important. As long as you are happy then thats all that matters, my wife is 42 by the way and we are very happy the way things are and neither of us wants any more babies(but then I have been cut and tied so it is impossible anyway). It works out good, we both go onto our pensions at the same time in 7 years.

[sunlong]

56, with a 4 year old. But a single dad. To those who mentioned energy levels, raising a kid on your own is a real challenge. Especially with smuggling the ladies in and out in the small hours, handling the occasional nightmare and wet nappy (from the littl'un mostly), then getting up not long after 6 to get her ready for school, brekkie, school run etc.

But I'm loving it, no regrets. Forces me to make a serious effort to keep fit too, which has side benefits.

Why on earth are you sneaking the ladies in and out?

Not hard to find ones that can help entertain the kids as well as you. It takes a village 'n all.

[sunlong]

So there begs a question for you older gents, what guarantee do you have that any assets you leave to your wife will still be there for your kids when they come of age? If you don't ring fence the assets then you are taking the same risk that my ex took and it has back fired on her.

Why would anyone care what happens to a wife or children after they are dead?

The wife almost certainly won't care what happens to the husband after she is dead.

(Backed up by many studies)

Treat women like adults, they don't need you to 'take care', and if they do need a man to 'take care' then they aren't worth marrying.

As for children coming of age, let them make it on their own by their own strength of character. Unless you expect to produce weak children.

I find it unbelievable that in this modern age so many expect someone else to provide, it must come from those living in a nanny state.

Some of us believe in and practice the traditional arrangement where the man is responsible for all the money and the woman responsible for keeping the man happy, taking care of the house and the kids.

Some of us also have chosen women to be the mothers of our children who are completely poverty-stricken, don't have much experience in the competitive modern world, and would end up simply sending the kids off to live in the rice-farm shack with their mother, with all that implies for their future.

Given that situation, setting things up so the kids continue to get decent nutrition, clothing, housing and education after I've passed on, to me only makes sense.

I do actually love my kids, suspect you may not know the meaning of the word from what you posted.

[wedders]

56, with a 4 year old. But a single dad. To those who mentioned energy levels, raising a kid on your own is a real challenge. Especially with smuggling the ladies in and out in the small hours, handling the occasional nightmare and wet nappy (from the littl'un mostly), then getting up not long after 6 to get her ready for school, brekkie, school run etc.

But I'm loving it, no regrets. Forces me to make a serious effort to keep fit too, which has side benefits.

Why on earth are you sneaking the ladies in and out?

Not hard to find ones that can help entertain the kids as well as you. It takes a village 'n all.

Don't think it's good for a kid to see a procession of different ladies coming in and out. The occasional one, sure. It's unavoidable anyway. Plus the ones that are great with kids in some ways are the worst. My daughter very rarely sees her mum, so gets attached to mother figures too quick. Then they tend to disappear. Very confusing for her.

So until I find someone who I can trust as a permanent partner, I'll stick with the current system. It's either that or celibacy.

I've raised 3 other kids (now adults) on my own (their mum died) for a fair while, so this is based on previous experience too.

[Beats56]

OP, how do you find your energy levels with the baby? It might be too young to be an issue.

Id be interested in how guys over 50 deal with the demands of young energetic children

I have a 39 TGF and a 15 month baby. I already have children in their 20's . I am in my 50's . You know I worked so much in my latter years that I missed out on their childhood. I am enjoying seeing the little guy grow. And the other thing with the Thai culture they want someone to help them out when they get older, No regrets but as you say I don't have the energy as when I was younger. But I can manage it. It still is a joy.

[Phronesis]

I HAVE JUST READ THIS THREAD AND THERE IS A GREAT BIG ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

Everyone is posting about the why a bloke would choose to have a kid when he is old.

None of these blokes made that decision.

Their young wife made it, and then they concurred (or were tricked).

Is the young wife happy with her decision (or her deception)?

Of course she is...$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

[Chittychangchang]

I HAVE JUST READ THIS THREAD AND THERE IS A GREAT BIG ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

Everyone is posting about the why a bloke would choose to have a kid when he is old.

None of these blokes made that decision.

Their young wife made it, and then they concurred (or were tricked).

Is the young wife happy with her decision (or her deception)?

Of course she is...$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

How do you know "None of these blokes made that decision"?

So all these old guys have been duped into going bareback in a country with one of the highest HIV rates in the world.

Maybe these old guys wear protection?

Having said all that i'm sure there's a few who have been plied with Sang Som and let the devious money grabbing Thai women have her way...........

[sunlong]

I HAVE JUST READ THIS THREAD AND THERE IS A GREAT BIG ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

Everyone is posting about the why a bloke would choose to have a kid when he is old.

None of these blokes made that decision.

Their young wife made it, and then they concurred (or were tricked).

Is the young wife happy with her decision (or her deception)?

Of course she is...$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

-

What you say is often true, but what starts out as a "making the best of the situation" often ends up becoming "the best thing that ever happened to me".

And of course if the mother of your children isn't suitable, easy enough to keep the kids yourself and raise them without her, if that's what you want to do.

Especially in Thailand.

[sunlong]

How do you know "None of these blokes made that decision"?

So all these old guys have been duped into going bareback in a country with one of the highest HIV rates in the world.

Maybe these old guys wear protection?

Having said all that i'm sure there's a few who have been plied with Sang Som and let the devious money grabbing Thai women have her way...........

-

I think it's fair to say even in our own countries, the number of children born to fathers who actively participated in a conscious decision to make a baby would be in the minority.

Perhaps the same is true for mothers, but I bet there the proportion is much higher.

And in the specific situation being discussed - old farang father, young Thai mother - the difference between those two stats would be much much much greater.

Talk to the Thais about it, getting pregnant to try to "lock in" the relationship is a very common strategy.

Remember, they can always rely on mama to raise the kids if things don't work out and look for the next sponsor.

I'm not saying any of this is wrong, completely understandable and don't hold it against them, just don't pretend it's not what's going on.

If you're really sure you don't want any more children, vasectomies performed by very experienced and expert doctors are available for free at Cabbages & Condoms on Soi 12, follow-up visits to confirm a successful procedure included.

Condoms aren't very effective as contraceptives.

[Chittychangchang]

I HAVE JUST READ THIS THREAD AND THERE IS A GREAT BIG ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

Everyone is posting about the why a bloke would choose to have a kid when he is old.

None of these blokes made that decision.

Their young wife made it, and then they concurred (or were tricked).

Is the young wife happy with her decision (or her deception)?

Of course she is...$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

-

What you say is often true, but what starts out as a "making the best of the situation" often ends up becoming "the best thing that ever happened to me".

And of course if the mother of your children isn't suitable, easy enough to keep the kids yourself and raise them without her, if that's what you want to do.

Especially in Thailand.

For every decent farang older father in Thailand there are another dozen who irresponsible and leave Thailand littered with abandoned Luk Kreung children.

The Thai women observes a farang father with his child/children in a tourist resort and generally assumes that all farang men are good fathers etc.

I believe this common opinion amongst Thai women. However, what they don't see is the abandoned children and one parent families of the West because foreign news and culture is not high up on their priority list.

If they did a little research then they might realise that having a child to a farang is not the holy grail.

Just saying

CCC

[Nuna]

I am not sure if I am your "The Hater" .Old men look disgusting especially when they try to seduce me and my friends and I feel offended about it.

I don't care if they have young family or not, happy or unhappy because the problem for me is the old men not their family.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I am not sure if I am your "The Hater" .Old men look disgusting especially when they try to seduce me and my friends and I feel offended about it.

I don't care if they have young family or not, happy or unhappy because the problem for me is the old men not their family.

Easily solved

Avoid hanging out in places where randy old men hang out.

It can't be that hard, can it?

[ripstanley]

I am not sure if I am your "The Hater" .Old men look disgusting especially when they try to seduce me and my friends and I feel offended about it.

I don't care if they have young family or not, happy or unhappy because the problem for me is the old men not their family.

Where is the dislike button

[Nuna]

Well I have a pet fly and we are so happy together, shall I open a topic too ?

No, I wouldn't bother - it wouldn't be interesting. Unlike this topic which you found so interesting that you were compelled to post 3 times in 15 minutes

Why not?

happiness is a huge topic here

I don't think the OP was necessarily expecting this to be 100% a 'happiness' thread.

There are a number of people who have opposing views to (a farang) starting another family late in life.

A friend who is considering such family planning was told ny his daughter in the UK that he should concentrate on his more important responsibilities of being a grandfather........

In Thailand as well. It's a norm that most parents whose children all grown up should consider living peacefully in temple, with grandchild, leave all burden behind and review what you have learnt from long experience over starting a new family (or burden) with new young wife. Otherwise, people will disapprove and call you "Thai language removed"

Edited June 5, 2013 by metisdead
English is the only acceptable language, except within the Thai language forum, where of course using Thai is allowed.

[ongchart]

Most posters have assumed a man in his late 50s to 60s will not see his kids finish their studies and become independent. To put everything in perspective, the average man from most developed nations will live till the late 70s : http://www.disabled-world.com/calculators-charts/life-expectancy-statistics.php

So most men who have kids in their 50s are likely to see their kids graduate and progress into the working work before they die. Of course, any of us can drop dead tomorrow for wahtever reason, regardless of age.

[metisdead]

Off topic posts have been removed.

[nottocus]

This is a funny thread. Some people telling others when is the right time to have kids.

Edited June 5, 2013 by nottocus

[GreenSnapper]

Most posters have assumed a man in his late 50s to 60s will not see his kids finish their studies and become independent. To put everything in perspective, the average man from most developed nations will live till the late 70s : http://www.disabled-world.com/calculators-charts/life-expectancy-statistics.phpSo most men who have kids in their 50s are likely to see their kids graduate and progress into the working work before they die. Of course, any of us can drop dead tomorrow for wahtever reason, regardless of age.

The life expectation is calculated for new bornes. If you are already in your 50ies, it is considerably higher. Especially if you live a healthy life style. You shall expect to live well into the 80ies, or with some luck even 90ies.

[thehelmsman]

I can't speak for all but having a baby with my lady was very much a conscious decision made by the both of us.

She knows that I would never abandon my child regardless of any circumstances. My son has been to visit several times and was there when his sister was born. She sees how I raised my son and assumes I'll do the same for our baby girl.

But I do encourage the haters to carry on and post more moronic comments as it makes for good reading when I'm bored.