I Am Having A Pity Party!

[Goldenbead]

A bit of background. I work full time as a kindy teacher and have four kids of my own. Hubby works offshore and is away at the moment.

I just went back to school today after two weeks holiday. I let my maid go off on holiday for songkran and she went up north to see her mum. This morning, she did not show up.

She has been working with us for three years and we have a great relationship. We pay her very well. The kids love her and I believe, she loves them. She has been so fantastic. Never a sick day in three years and always a smile on her face.

I know that her mum has not been well lately and I think that perhaps she has been asked to stay at home to look after her. That is as it should be. The thing that gets me is that she has not called and when I tried to call her this morning, she didn't answer her phone and since then, it has been turned off. I am really upset.

I know I must sound like a spoilt brat but I cannot handle my job, the kids, making dinner and cleaning the house and doing laundry too. I need help.

I guess there is no real point to this post and it is really a vent but I feel very overwhelmed. I am praying that she shows up or calls soon because the thought of having to find someone else to establish a relationship with fills me with dread.

I have heard countless stories of staff just not showing up for work and I am wondering if this is the case. Is it a loss of face thing that she hasn't called or what? Sorry for venting. Pity party now over.

[meemiathai]

Heavy traffic might be the cause?

[Boo]

can u call an agency & get temp help until you find out whats going on? Not the answer but a solution to one of the problems at least!

[cdnvic]

Before and after major holidays and festivals there's always more demand than supply when it comes to transportation, especially buses and trains. If she has to travel a long distance to see her family then I'd always count on an extra day or two, and make plans for dealing with it so you aren't caught off guard.

Give a good employee the benefit of the doubt. Don't be angry if she returns in the next day or so.

cv

[Boon Mee]

Take your mind off your troubles and think of all the crap your hubby has to deal with at his job?

[LaoPo]

Phuket>>>>>>>>>>>Upnorth>>>>>>>>>>>>back to Phuket is a loooooooooooong way and I assume she's not flying.....but by bus/train !

And....as you mentioned:

"The kids love her and I believe, she loves them. She has been so fantastic. Never a sick day in three years and always a smile on her face. "

I would give her a warm welcome and take her and the kids out for a nice dinner (if she returns) .

Good Luck!

LaoPo

[britmaveric]

Well I understand your situation, but let's be a tad realistic. I think you can manage alone especially if you went to the trouble to have them. (I'm assuming you are a stay at home mum) Whether you want to cope is an entirely different question.

[Boo]

She has already said Brit, she is a kindergarden teacher & four kids, running a house & working full time is too much for anyone, which is why she hired help.

Get onto a temp agency & hope they send you someone good, then ask a thai friend to send her a text message in thai just to ask her to call to explain, no anger ot anything but it would be nice to know if & when she is coming back?

[britmaveric]

She has already said Brit, she is a kindergarden teacher & four kids, running a house & working full time is too much for anyone, which is why she hired help.

Get onto a temp agency & hope they send you someone good, then ask a thai friend to send her a text message in thai just to ask her to call to explain, no anger ot anything but it would be nice to know if & when she is coming back?

Boo - Ok I stand corrected then...missed the working bit.

[Boo]

u r forgiven

[TRIPxCORE]

Boo - Ok I stand corrected then...missed the working bit.

u r forgiven

Ooooooo, you're lucky Brit. She can be right nasty when she wants to be!

Just kidding. You know I love ya Boo Boo.

[nonthaburial]

I assume this girl is a "live in" So the first thing I would do is check to see if all her belongings are still there. If not then I think you have the answer.

[bggg]

I would also suggest that you have friends ask their maids if they know anyone who could help on a day by day basis. You pay more but it can be a life saver until you know if you need to replace her. I once waited 3 days only to find her keys to the house left on the ironing board which then gave me my answer. Also laundry service can be a great help in the interim.

[Sheryl]

Yes, check her things. If they are gone, she has left your employment. If they are still there, she wasn't planning to quit, but has either been delayed or decided to quit after seeing the situation at home. It may be that it just wasn't possible for her to come back now and she is avoiding you out of embarassment

If her things are still there, try asking maids of neighbors if they know anything as maids usually socialize together. Stress that you are not angry, just worried that maybe her mother is very sick or died. Word may drift back to her. That way she'll know the door is opne for her to return when able.

In the meantime, maybe some ofthe neighbors maids could help out part-time for a little extra cash?

[sbk]

Good advice Sheryl, also, I noticed in yesterdays bkk post that alot of people were stranded in bkk because there weren't enough buses

[sylvafern]

Whenever we've been stranded without a maid we've asked our landlord who usually knows someone (eg. her maid or a friend's maid) who's keen to make a bit extra evening in the evenings doing some cleaning and ironing.

We had the same situation with our lovely maid who had been with us for two years. She was Burmese and over New Year went to the border up north to see her mother and never returned. She had a work permit card so I doubt she got caught by the police. She left all her stuff behind including personal things like letters and photos (which I've kept - didn't have the heart to throw them out just in case she returned one day). I can only assume that once she saw her mother after being away for about 5 years (she was only 14 when she was smuggled accross the border) she couldn't bear leaving her again. That was two years ago, but I still hope that one day she'll call me and say she's back in Bangkok, not jsut because she was a great maid, but because I really grew close to her and felt like she was my little sister.

[Goldenbead]

Take your mind off your troubles and think of all the crap your hubby has to deal with at his job?

First of all, I would like to say thank you for your support. My pity party is now over and I have taken the situation in hand by cracking the whip with the children, so to speak, have taken some stuff to the laundry and sorted the rest out myself. It has been a long day and I am just sitting down now at 10.45 to take a load off.

I had some news this evening. She is still at her parents' house and apparently is planning to stay there until the end of the month at which point, she is planning to return. I will be so glad to have her back and I am just relieved to know that she is alright and that mum and dad are not seriously ill. I just wish she would have called me. I got this news through a friend who tracked her sister down.

Boo, thanks for pointing out to Brit that I do actually work. I am not a stay at home mum who has time for manicures and coffee mornings.

And Boon Mee, my husband and I work equally hard, thank you.

Once again, thanks so much for the support. I really do appreciate it.