Is this a real relationship or have I bought a girlfriend?

[Cypress Hill]

I'm not telling you my income but suffice it to say that it is far, FAR north of 65,000 baht a month

I'm not talking about your income, easy to make loads when you're working.

I'm asking about your retirement fund?

Lemme see, you're 46, so your savings, assets, pension plan should already be 80-90% in place for you to retire at 50.

If you stopped working tomorrow, how much income could you earn from your savings?

I know what my pension plan was worth at age 46, 200kbht per month.

Retire??

Why in God's name would I want to retire?

I LOVE my work.

2-3 hours a day, Monday to Friday, from home? . . .

Sheeeeeitt . . . I'm as good as retired already, mate

[JAFO]

I'm not telling you my income but suffice it to say that it is far, FAR north of 65,000 baht a month

I'm not talking about your income, easy to make loads when you're working.

I'm asking about your retirement fund?

Lemme see, you're 46, so your savings, assets, pension plan should already be 80-90% in place for you to retire at 50.

If you stopped working tomorrow, how much income could you earn from your savings?

I know what my pension plan was worth at age 46, 200kbht per month.

Retire??

Why in God's name would I want to retire?

I LOVE my work.

2-3 hours a day, Monday to Friday, from home? . . .

Sheeeeeitt . . . I'm as good as retired already, mate

I cant wait to get back to my retirement job....This work crap is for the birds.

[MJP]

It's when elderly men bounce up and puff out their cyber chests over the young chick they're rooting/dating who swears she loves them for who they are that I have to laugh. They'd have us believe their GFs are in it for love when even the soi dogs know it's all about the coin.

There's a 20 year old foreigner doing that in another thread.

I'm happy to laugh at 'hansum men' posters, no matter what their age.

Come to think of it, that includes Thai men, they seem to have exactly the same problems with Thai girls that foreigners have.

Come to think of it Cypress and AOA, I laugh at all of it, young or old. I especially love the ones that post who are with a girl 20 to 30 years younger and state "I do not look anything close to my age, its why she loves me"..The James Bond debonair look changes everything.. Lots of foreigners here with some serious chemical imbalance or self esteem issues. All seems so silly. Who are they trying to kid or convince? I learned along time ago, if you talk about it you don't usually have it. Its the humble people I appreciate.

Well you know what they say. When a man gets old he looks like Sean Connery. When a woman gets old she looks like . . . Sean Connery.

[falkan]

She is half your age, love? c'mon son she is like everyone else that is undereducated looking for someone financially stronger to support them, She will milk you more and more on money have fun pay to play..

[Adeeos]

What you've done so far,, sounds reasonable, considering she's actually TRYING to better her self,,, she's not asking you to fully support, "give" her $ to lay around the house,,, no,, just help her out.... How does she, resiprocate, try to, "pay" you back?.... do all house cleaning?, laundry?,,, etc?.,, it's at least something she can do to show, she appericiates your supporting her attempting to better herself,,,,, Mine is similar in the respect I pay ALL bills, food, rent, etc,, she has her own job, sends her own $ home to mommy,, NEVER asks me for a single baht,,, I have to stop her sometimes, 7AM,, on her hands and knees, cleaning the bathroom area, laundry, dishes,,, something,,, I try to stop her,, her answer?,,, "Honey I do because you do so much for us",,,, Yes,, ,she says,,, "US",,,,

[Rupert Wellington]

Amusing topic.

[In Search of Space]

Wow. Thank you to everyone who have wished us luck. I was expecting a 50/50 split between the good and the bad.

I suppose I have made her dependent on me but if we are to stay together that is, inevitably going to be part of it as I earn in a month what she earns in a year. And my lifestyle is one that she will grow accustomed to. However her determination to master English and get her dream job (in a pharmacy) tell me that she will have a measure of independence.

She has never asked me for anything for herself or her parents (she doesn't have children) and will often go to the market on her way home to buy food, fruit etc from her money. Never asking for it to be repaid. She is clean and tidy and is always pushing me to teach her to cook farang food so that she can cook for me.

It just shows that they are out there guys. How do you know when you have found a gem? That I don't know but time is the thing. Or is she playing the long game some of you will be thinking. If she is I will find out sometime and let you know. Otherwise I am enjoying the ride. And after the psychotic, insecure, jealous nutcase I had before, this is heaven. No stupid jealousy, sulking or walking on eggshells.

I hope it works put for you, but sounds too good to be true, does she have a sister I could trade the lazy wife in for ?

[TacoGuy]

I see nothing wrong with the age gap relationships where there is mutual companionship. An old guy that enjoys some kind of relationship with a younger woman AND the woman appreciates the security of the older guy, and maybe more.

The relationships that are more troubling is when you see forlorn old guys being led around by young Thai women and/or families and you know that they all see the old guy as a cash cow. These guys are stuck in a painful delusion.

Equally the relationships where a lovely young girl is somehow in a reluctant relationship with a decrepit old guy (she has no better option and needs the money). These guys are in a happy (but exploitative) delusion.

Obviously every old guy on TVF is in the first (mutual companionship) scenario, so no problem.

[Buccaneer2011]

Sending money to parents is the mistake. They will come back for more , more and more. Family will eventually make nice stories to join the free eating etc.

[Buccaneer2011]

Soooooo . . . . a little over £1,200 or $2,000 a month?

Lemme see . . . would that be considered the income of a successful man in Britain or the United States?

Nope. But thats the requjrement for a visa

Well maybe you can impress that upon AOA who seems to believe that it constitutes "some measure of success back home".

I would not be able to live from such a pittence

[tonytigerbkk]

Rolf, what do you class as being old? I am sure I am not. ☺

[MJP]

Soooooo . . . . a little over £1,200 or $2,000 a month?

Lemme see . . . would that be considered the income of a successful man in Britain or the United States?

Nope. But thats the requjrement for a visa

Well maybe you can impress that upon AOA who seems to believe that it constitutes "some measure of success back home".

I would not be able to live from such a pittence

That'll be a problem if you ever have to then.

I always admire people who can get by on much less than that and still have a life and good health.

[draftvader]

My wife (British) and I have taken it in turns (accidentally) to be the major bread-winners in our family. She is going to have to take a year out from her career to study at some point in the next few years and then I will be the leader again. I have also just paid out nearly B25,000 for some online courses she needs to take too.

Basically put, it is the same the world over. You're just focusing on the fact that your partner is from a different country. My wife and I grew up 10 miles apart and we still do this....it's called a relationship!

[lapd]

What you've done so far,, sounds reasonable, considering she's actually TRYING to better her self,,, she's not asking you to fully support, "give" her $ to lay around the house,,, no,, just help her out.... How does she, resiprocate, try to, "pay" you back?.... do all house cleaning?, laundry?,,, etc?.,, it's at least something she can do to show, she appericiates your supporting her attempting to better herself,,,,, Mine is similar in the respect I pay ALL bills, food, rent, etc,, she has her own job, sends her own $ home to mommy,, NEVER asks me for a single baht,,, I have to stop her sometimes, 7AM,, on her hands and knees, cleaning the bathroom area, laundry, dishes,,, something,,, I try to stop her,, her answer?,,, "Honey I do because you do so much for us",,,, Yes,, ,she says,,, "US",,,,

One day tell her "honey, I lost my job/money/will (or whatever). Let's take the last remaining money I have left, move up to Issan, buy a rice farm, and live in a tin shack. We will have nothing but rice and love to keep us going and that's all we need." She will be gone by that afternoon.

Seriously, the only person you are kidding is yourself if you do not think that it's money #1. Maybe they like you, maybe they appreciate you, maybe they want to be with you...but it all starts (and ends) with the money! That is Thailand. Are there exceptions? Yes but they are much rarer than people think. Of course when someone has that one story it's the one you delusional guys cling to as proof it can happen. Usually those stories have some exceptional circumstances. Maybe she runs a successful business and doesn't need your money. Maybe her parents are rich (extremely rare...those girls families usually don't let them date farangs). Does that mean you cannot live happily ever after? Not not at all. As long as you get past this nonsense that it's not about the money first and foremost.

Edited September 6, 2014 by lapd

[Adeeos]

What you've done so far,, sounds reasonable, considering she's actually TRYING to better her self,,, she's not asking you to fully support, "give" her $ to lay around the house,,, no,, just help her out.... How does she, resiprocate, try to, "pay" you back?.... do all house cleaning?, laundry?,,, etc?.,, it's at least something she can do to show, she appericiates your supporting her attempting to better herself,,,,, Mine is similar in the respect I pay ALL bills, food, rent, etc,, she has her own job, sends her own $ home to mommy,, NEVER asks me for a single baht,,, I have to stop her sometimes, 7AM,, on her hands and knees, cleaning the bathroom area, laundry, dishes,,, something,,, I try to stop her,, her answer?,,, "Honey I do because you do so much for us",,,, Yes,, ,she says,,, "US",,,,

One day tell her "honey, I lost my job/money/will (or whatever). Let's take the last remaining money I have left, move up to Issan, buy a rice farm, and live in a tin shack. We will have nothing but rice and love to keep us going and that's all we need." She will be gone by that afternoon.

Seriously, the only person you are kidding is yourself if you do not think that it's money #1. Maybe they like you, maybe they appreciate you, maybe they want to be with you...but it all starts (and ends) with the money! That is Thailand. Are there exceptions? Yes but they are much rarer than people think. Of course when someone has that one story it's the one you delusional guys cling to as proof it can happen. Does that mean you cannot live happily ever after? Not not at all. As long as you get past this nonsense that it's not about the money first and foremost.

Well then I DO have a rare one,, I actually tried the, "I lost all money" with her once,, her response?... "Is OK Honey, I have my job".... Guys like you, (and I'm amazed by how many of them are on here),,, that sit at a keyboard, and pass judgment on other's as if they KNOW the person, make me sick,, you have ZERO idea of what you're saying, yet you act like "I have spoken, let it be known as THE truth",, get out, get a life, MAYbe get a friend or 2,,, geez... And to be honest, she actually WANTS to move back to her home near Issan, TOGETHER, and run a small resturant!

Edited September 6, 2014 by Adeeos

[benalibina]

Thank you all for your contributions. It was much as I expected.

There are some posters here who will never ever see a Thai/Farang relationship as anything but a transaction and others who think it is all one sided. Bitter experience possibly or just bitter. I have met quite a few people like this in bars, they treat Thais like dirt and have nothing but contempt for them. I really feel sorry for them stuck in a country they hate so much.

There are others for whom the age gap is everything. No woman would want an older man yet the evidence to the contrary is overwhelming. As an aside my last gf in the UK was 19 years younger than me and beautiful. We met when I was 40. She was a graphic designer and earnt more than me so it wasn't a money thing. We stayed together for 7 years and only finished because she desperately wanted a child and I didn't. To those posters I would say, get over it. Age is a number. If you met me you would not guess my age correctly so why does it matter? With age comes many things, not just wrinkles. Wisdom, maturity and knowledge.

Because of my experiences I am able to behave in a way that my gf obviously likes. I treat her with respect, I am romantic. Last night as we sat on the balcony watching the sun go down I asked her why she was with me. She told me that she feels like we have been together a long time (in a good way) and that it keeps getting better. She feels loved. She also told me she is looking forward to going back to work when her course is finished.

I said in my OP that I knew the answer and I do. I have bought a gf. But not just with money but with love and kindness, respect and fidelity. If you believe that then good, if you don't I really don't care.

[JAFO]

Soooooo . . . . a little over £1,200 or $2,000 a month?

Lemme see . . . would that be considered the income of a successful man in Britain or the United States?

Nope. But thats the requjrement for a visa

Well maybe you can impress that upon AOA who seems to believe that it constitutes "some measure of success back home".

I would not be able to live from such a pittence

I find a level of humor in people that spout they "Need" 100,000 to 200,000 baht a month to live a good life in Thailand. To this date my wife and I live on WAY WAY less and have never ever felt we have ever gone without. I personally think its a western EGO thing or ingrained mindset. I used to live it so I know. Some folks need to flaunt "big" living to feel like they are a cut above the rest. With that said my wife and I are in no way living on a budget, we can do what we want, but we choose to look at life differently now and not just piss money away because we have it to do it. Living life with virtually no debt and minimal COL is a liberating feeling.

Edited September 6, 2014 by JAFO

[lapd]

What you've done so far,, sounds reasonable, considering she's actually TRYING to better her self,,, she's not asking you to fully support, "give" her $ to lay around the house,,, no,, just help her out.... How does she, resiprocate, try to, "pay" you back?.... do all house cleaning?, laundry?,,, etc?.,, it's at least something she can do to show, she appericiates your supporting her attempting to better herself,,,,, Mine is similar in the respect I pay ALL bills, food, rent, etc,, she has her own job, sends her own $ home to mommy,, NEVER asks me for a single baht,,, I have to stop her sometimes, 7AM,, on her hands and knees, cleaning the bathroom area, laundry, dishes,,, something,,, I try to stop her,, her answer?,,, "Honey I do because you do so much for us",,,, Yes,, ,she says,,, "US",,,,

One day tell her "honey, I lost my job/money/will (or whatever). Let's take the last remaining money I have left, move up to Issan, buy a rice farm, and live in a tin shack. We will have nothing but rice and love to keep us going and that's all we need." She will be gone by that afternoon.

Seriously, the only person you are kidding is yourself if you do not think that it's money #1. Maybe they like you, maybe they appreciate you, maybe they want to be with you...but it all starts (and ends) with the money! That is Thailand. Are there exceptions? Yes but they are much rarer than people think. Of course when someone has that one story it's the one you delusional guys cling to as proof it can happen. Does that mean you cannot live happily ever after? Not not at all. As long as you get past this nonsense that it's not about the money first and foremost.

Well then I DO have a rare one,, I actually tried the, "I lost all money" with her once,, her response?... "Is OK Honey, I have my job".... Guys like you, (and I'm amazed by how many of them are on here),,, that sit at a keyboard, and pass judgment on other's as if they KNOW the person, make me sick,, you have ZERO idea of what you're saying, yet you act like "I have spoken, let it be known as THE truth",, get out, get a life, MAYbe get a friend or 2,,, geez... And to be honest, she actually WANTS to move back to her home near Issan, TOGETHER, and run a small resturant!

Yes yes, of course your girl is different. Just like every other guys girl.

Your reaction is so very typical and gives away the plot. I can say these things behind a keyboard because I have seen it first hand many many times and heard of hundreds of similar stories. The details vary but the story is always the same.

Edited September 6, 2014 by lapd

[Adeeos]

What you've done so far,, sounds reasonable, considering she's actually TRYING to better her self,,, she's not asking you to fully support, "give" her $ to lay around the house,,, no,, just help her out.... How does she, resiprocate, try to, "pay" you back?.... do all house cleaning?, laundry?,,, etc?.,, it's at least something she can do to show, she appericiates your supporting her attempting to better herself,,,,, Mine is similar in the respect I pay ALL bills, food, rent, etc,, she has her own job, sends her own $ home to mommy,, NEVER asks me for a single baht,,, I have to stop her sometimes, 7AM,, on her hands and knees, cleaning the bathroom area, laundry, dishes,,, something,,, I try to stop her,, her answer?,,, "Honey I do because you do so much for us",,,, Yes,, ,she says,,, "US",,,,

One day tell her "honey, I lost my job/money/will (or whatever). Let's take the last remaining money I have left, move up to Issan, buy a rice farm, and live in a tin shack. We will have nothing but rice and love to keep us going and that's all we need." She will be gone by that afternoon.

Seriously, the only person you are kidding is yourself if you do not think that it's money #1. Maybe they like you, maybe they appreciate you, maybe they want to be with you...but it all starts (and ends) with the money! That is Thailand. Are there exceptions? Yes but they are much rarer than people think. Of course when someone has that one story it's the one you delusional guys cling to as proof it can happen. Does that mean you cannot live happily ever after? Not not at all. As long as you get past this nonsense that it's not about the money first and foremost.

Well then I DO have a rare one,, I actually tried the, "I lost all money" with her once,, her response?... "Is OK Honey, I have my job".... Guys like you, (and I'm amazed by how many of them are on here),,, that sit at a keyboard, and pass judgment on other's as if they KNOW the person, make me sick,, you have ZERO idea of what you're saying, yet you act like "I have spoken, let it be known as THE truth",, get out, get a life, MAYbe get a friend or 2,,, geez... And to be honest, she actually WANTS to move back to her home near Issan, TOGETHER, and run a small resturant!

Yes yes, of course your girl is different. Just like every other guys girl.

Your response is so very typical as well.

It's REALLY sad, the number of lonely, sad, truly unhappy on here, that can ONLY feel better about themselves, by "trying" to bring others down to their level,, my GOD I'd off myself if i ever got to anywhere near that level of sadness,,, please seek help..

As is YOUR response also...

Edited September 6, 2014 by Adeeos

[lapd]

What you've done so far,, sounds reasonable, considering she's actually TRYING to better her self,,, she's not asking you to fully support, "give" her $ to lay around the house,,, no,, just help her out.... How does she, resiprocate, try to, "pay" you back?.... do all house cleaning?, laundry?,,, etc?.,, it's at least something she can do to show, she appericiates your supporting her attempting to better herself,,,,, Mine is similar in the respect I pay ALL bills, food, rent, etc,, she has her own job, sends her own $ home to mommy,, NEVER asks me for a single baht,,, I have to stop her sometimes, 7AM,, on her hands and knees, cleaning the bathroom area, laundry, dishes,,, something,,, I try to stop her,, her answer?,,, "Honey I do because you do so much for us",,,, Yes,, ,she says,,, "US",,,,

One day tell her "honey, I lost my job/money/will (or whatever). Let's take the last remaining money I have left, move up to Issan, buy a rice farm, and live in a tin shack. We will have nothing but rice and love to keep us going and that's all we need." She will be gone by that afternoon.

Seriously, the only person you are kidding is yourself if you do not think that it's money #1. Maybe they like you, maybe they appreciate you, maybe they want to be with you...but it all starts (and ends) with the money! That is Thailand. Are there exceptions? Yes but they are much rarer than people think. Of course when someone has that one story it's the one you delusional guys cling to as proof it can happen. Does that mean you cannot live happily ever after? Not not at all. As long as you get past this nonsense that it's not about the money first and foremost.

Well then I DO have a rare one,, I actually tried the, "I lost all money" with her once,, her response?... "Is OK Honey, I have my job".... Guys like you, (and I'm amazed by how many of them are on here),,, that sit at a keyboard, and pass judgment on other's as if they KNOW the person, make me sick,, you have ZERO idea of what you're saying, yet you act like "I have spoken, let it be known as THE truth",, get out, get a life, MAYbe get a friend or 2,,, geez... And to be honest, she actually WANTS to move back to her home near Issan, TOGETHER, and run a small resturant!

Yes yes, of course your girl is different. Just like every other guys girl.

Your response is so very typical as well.

It's REALLY sad, the number of lonely, sad, truly unhappy on here, that can ONLY feel better about themselves, by "trying" to bring others down to their level,, my GOD I'd off myself if i ever got to anywhere near that level of sadness,,, please seek help..

As is YOUR response also...

Yes that must be it.

[Tongdee]

Yep, at 55 you only have one thing this 30 year old girl wants,

An enhanced lifestyle.

How could it be any different?

I dont know where you picked up this narrow minded misconception nor do I care. Asians are different than "americans" in many ways one of which is age discrimination for relationships. Most Thai ladys are much more mature mentally & emotionally than Thai men the same age & realize that many Thai men of 30 years are closer in maturity & stability to teenagers than "Adults". A man of 55 is much more likely to stick around & help pay the bills if she gets pregnant, or sick than a 30 year old. Also much less likely to be out with other Ladies, less likely to get into pick a drug, less likely to call from jail, or the hospital for idiotic driving habits. Also much less likely to beat her or display other aberant macho behavior. Yes, you are right in that those things would make for an enhanced lifestyle for her. Also when 30 year old accumulates enough $$$ or credit to buy a macho big motorcycle, and show the world what a hero he is, he would be likely to do just that. The 55 year old would likely still drive a practical vehicle within his budget and still have funding enough for emergencys. She has a Regular job. That is a good thing for so many reasons. Doesn't ask for $$$,,,,,, a real good sign. You are willing and able ho help with cash. also a good sign. I will add confirmation that a cart full of household items is a far better help than cash. Anything that can be converted into a improving a secret Thai boyfriends (many ladies have one) lifestyle (in his mind) must be a cause of concern. Paying for english lessons ??? Do you speak english well? Do you give her regular english lessons? If she wants to learn english, you should. If she doesn' want english lessons from you but does want cash "for english lessons" strike one...take her to the dentist. If she is real she will apreciate this. If she has a secret Thai Lover, he will tell her to get you to buy her gold, or the all time favorite, a house. (in her name of course, folung cannot own land) Dont want to "waste" money every month on rent.HHHHhhhmmmm Good luck in relationships does not come from luck. It comes from 2 people(or more) trying to make it work.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

There are some posters here who will never ever see a Thai/Farang relationship as anything but a transaction and others who think it is all one sided. Bitter experience possibly or just bitter. I have met quite a few people like this in bars, they treat Thais like dirt and have nothing but contempt for them. I really feel sorry for them stuck in a country they hate so much.

I have never ever encountered a Thai/foreigner (let's keep racism out of it) relationship that is not based on the foreign man giving the Thai woman an enhanced lifestyle. But sure, the men are often delusional about their importance to the woman.

I have seen very very few male/female relationships (same nationality) where the man has not given the woman an enhanced lifestyle.

My next door neighbour (Thai 65) gives his wife (Thai age 57) 8,000bht a month to be his wife.

PS

I'm not white, and find it offensive that some posters only want to discuss their posts with other white people.

Edited September 6, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Yep, at 55 you only have one thing this 30 year old girl wants,

An enhanced lifestyle.

How could it be any different?

I dont know where you picked up this narrow minded misconception nor do I care. Asians are different than "americans" in many ways one of which is age discrimination for relationships. Most Thai ladys are much more mature mentally & emotionally than Thai men the same age & realize that many Thai men of 30 years are closer in maturity & stability to teenagers than "Adults". A man of 55 is much more likely to stick around & help pay the bills if she gets pregnant, or sick than a 30 year old. Also much less likely to be out with other Ladies, less likely to get into pick a drug, less likely to call from jail, or the hospital for idiotic driving habits. Also much less likely to beat her or display other aberant macho behavior. Yes, you are right in that those things would make for an enhanced lifestyle for her. Also when 30 year old accumulates enough $$$ or credit to buy a macho big motorcycle, and show the world what a hero he is, he would be likely to do just that. The 55 year old would likely still drive a practical vehicle within his budget and still have funding enough for emergencys. She has a Regular job. That is a good thing for so many reasons. Doesn't ask for $$$,,,,,, a real good sign. You are willing and able ho help with cash. also a good sign. I will add confirmation that a cart full of household items is a far better help than cash. Anything that can be converted into a improving a secret Thai boyfriends (many ladies have one) lifestyle (in his mind) must be a cause of concern. Paying for english lessons ??? Do you speak english well? Do you give her regular english lessons? If she wants to learn english, you should. If she doesn' want english lessons from you but does want cash "for english lessons" strike one...take her to the dentist. If she is real she will apreciate this. If she has a secret Thai Lover, he will tell her to get you to buy her gold, or the all time favorite, a house. (in her name of course, folung cannot own land) Dont want to "waste" money every month on rent.HHHHhhhmmmm Good luck in relationships does not come from luck. It comes from 2 people(or more) trying to make it work.

Unbelievable that any old fools believe the utter tosh you just wrote.

A Thai lady would always prefer to have a Thai partner of a similar age.

Second choice, older Thai man.

Third choice, any Asian man.

White men are the last chance saloon, for the Thai women no Thai man would have.

It's a terrible disgrace for any Thai woman to accept a non-Asian lover.

Edited September 6, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[iamariva1957]

I agree with the first number of posters to your question. It sounds to me like you have found someone to hold onto. But take each day as it comes is my suggestion.

You have someone that has been independent it seems by what you wrote. I agree, 8K a month is quite low for a hotel employee, but never the less she is willing to make the commute from your place to work and has not 'hit you up' for funds to do that. The fact that you have offered to help in that regard is just a normal thing anyone would do for their partner in my opinion... so... normal.

I hear you about wanting her carry on with her English lessons, but it seems to me that someone who has been that diligent regarding her own work and than has a willingness to take the classes on top of her shifts at work... well do not stifle that by saying that you are willing to remove her need to work. For maybe it is more important to her than you know.

Being a couple is hard work and we always want to make things as easy as possible for our 'other half' so only you will know what is really called for. So good luck! It seems that you have found someone (age difference or no age difference) to hold onto. Just be happy and have reasons to smile together and be well.

PS: My opinion... only send money to her parents once you have met them and there is a very good reason to send it. We all want to help as I said before, but culturally, they are not your responsibility ... yet anyway. We all understand and know the cultural issues here, regarding Thai children and their parents. But if your relationship with her is going to last there has to be a recognition from both parties regarding your separate cultures. Simply by not being Thai does not mean that your needs or cultural foundations should not be seen and understood on the same level as you are or will be expected to with regards to those that are Thai.

[Adeeos]

Yep, at 55 you only have one thing this 30 year old girl wants,

An enhanced lifestyle.

How could it be any different?

I dont know where you picked up this narrow minded misconception nor do I care. Asians are different than "americans" in many ways one of which is age discrimination for relationships. Most Thai ladys are much more mature mentally & emotionally than Thai men the same age & realize that many Thai men of 30 years are closer in maturity & stability to teenagers than "Adults". A man of 55 is much more likely to stick around & help pay the bills if she gets pregnant, or sick than a 30 year old. Also much less likely to be out with other Ladies, less likely to get into pick a drug, less likely to call from jail, or the hospital for idiotic driving habits. Also much less likely to beat her or display other aberant macho behavior. Yes, you are right in that those things would make for an enhanced lifestyle for her. Also when 30 year old accumulates enough $$$ or credit to buy a macho big motorcycle, and show the world what a hero he is, he would be likely to do just that. The 55 year old would likely still drive a practical vehicle within his budget and still have funding enough for emergencys. She has a Regular job. That is a good thing for so many reasons. Doesn't ask for $$$,,,,,, a real good sign. You are willing and able ho help with cash. also a good sign. I will add confirmation that a cart full of household items is a far better help than cash. Anything that can be converted into a improving a secret Thai boyfriends (many ladies have one) lifestyle (in his mind) must be a cause of concern. Paying for english lessons ??? Do you speak english well? Do you give her regular english lessons? If she wants to learn english, you should. If she doesn' want english lessons from you but does want cash "for english lessons" strike one...take her to the dentist. If she is real she will apreciate this. If she has a secret Thai Lover, he will tell her to get you to buy her gold, or the all time favorite, a house. (in her name of course, folung cannot own land) Dont want to "waste" money every month on rent.HHHHhhhmmmm Good luck in relationships does not come from luck. It comes from 2 people(or more) trying to make it work.

Unbelievable that any old fools believe the utter tosh you just wrote.

A Thai lady would always prefer to have a Thai partner of a similar age.

Second choice, older Thai man.

Third choice, any Asian man.

White men are the last chance saloon, for the Thai women no Thai man would have.

It's a terrible disgrace for any Thai woman to accept a non-Asian lover.

Wow,,, you REALLY have NO idea do you?,,, Ever wonder why there are SO many single Thai mothers?... "Oh you have baby? give to your Mother, bye bye".... and yes, I've heard nearly that exact story from nearly every single Thai mother I've met,,,

[rsokolowski]

I think you should not care what anyone else thinks. Does she make you happy? Do you think you are getting ripped off? Enjoy the ride, if it turns south you can get out. Just don't do anything you would not do in your country of origin (i.e. buy a house, car, or any other big ticket similar item). Sounds like you like her and that is what is important.

[rsokolowski]

I started reading some of the replies to this post. Whatever country you come from do you people really think that providing "an enhanced lifestyle" does not have a role with the women in whatever country you came from? White, black, brown or purple in color. Why would it be any different in Thailand, or any other country in the world? It is just that in Thailand providing an "enhanced lifestyle" if just a bit more affordable to the average retiree.

I wish the OP all the luck in the world.

[AYJAYDEE]

Yep, at 55 you only have one thing this 30 year old girl wants,

An enhanced lifestyle.

How could it be any different?

I dont know where you picked up this narrow minded misconception nor do I care. Asians are different than "americans" in many ways one of which is age discrimination for relationships. Most Thai ladys are much more mature mentally & emotionally than Thai men the same age & realize that many Thai men of 30 years are closer in maturity & stability to teenagers than "Adults". A man of 55 is much more likely to stick around & help pay the bills if she gets pregnant, or sick than a 30 year old. Also much less likely to be out with other Ladies, less likely to get into pick a drug, less likely to call from jail, or the hospital for idiotic driving habits. Also much less likely to beat her or display other aberant macho behavior. Yes, you are right in that those things would make for an enhanced lifestyle for her. Also when 30 year old accumulates enough $$$ or credit to buy a macho big motorcycle, and show the world what a hero he is, he would be likely to do just that. The 55 year old would likely still drive a practical vehicle within his budget and still have funding enough for emergencys. She has a Regular job. That is a good thing for so many reasons. Doesn't ask for $$$,,,,,, a real good sign. You are willing and able ho help with cash. also a good sign. I will add confirmation that a cart full of household items is a far better help than cash. Anything that can be converted into a improving a secret Thai boyfriends (many ladies have one) lifestyle (in his mind) must be a cause of concern. Paying for english lessons ??? Do you speak english well? Do you give her regular english lessons? If she wants to learn english, you should. If she doesn' want english lessons from you but does want cash "for english lessons" strike one...take her to the dentist. If she is real she will apreciate this. If she has a secret Thai Lover, he will tell her to get you to buy her gold, or the all time favorite, a house. (in her name of course, folung cannot own land) Dont want to "waste" money every month on rent.HHHHhhhmmmm Good luck in relationships does not come from luck. It comes from 2 people(or more) trying to make it work.

Unbelievable that any old fools believe the utter tosh you just wrote.

A Thai lady would always prefer to have a Thai partner of a similar age.

Second choice, older Thai man.

Third choice, any Asian man.

White men are the last chance saloon, for the Thai women no Thai man would have.

It's a terrible disgrace for any Thai woman to accept a non-Asian lover.

that is nonsense

[huawei]

Soooooo . . . . a little over £1,200 or $2,000 a month?

Lemme see . . . would that be considered the income of a successful man in Britain or the United States?

Nope. But thats the requjrement for a visa

Well maybe you can impress that upon AOA who seems to believe that it constitutes "some measure of success back home".

I would not be able to live from such a pittence

I find a level of humor in people that spout they "Need" 100,000 to 200,000 baht a month to live a good life in Thailand. To this date my wife and I live on WAY WAY less and have never ever felt we have ever gone without. I personally think its a western EGO thing or ingrained mindset. I used to live it so I know. Some folks need to flaunt "big" living to feel like they are a cut above the rest. With that said my wife and I are in no way living on a budget, we can do what we want, but we choose to look at life differently now and not just piss money away because we have it to do it. Living life with virtually no debt and minimal COL is a liberating feeling.

Condescending nonsense.. Arrogant to boot..

Another farang berating another .

School fees can take up a large chunk of the amounts you are quoting .

All this western claptrap and ego tripe!!

You can be free of debt and spend 200k, very easy in Bangkok ..

[JSixpack]

Farang tink too mut.