Why did I relocate to LOS? Did my motives materialize? Now, what do I do?

[fang37]

I emigrated to LOS in 2003. My rationale - boredom in native country. The first 2 years were exciting - food, people from all over the world; met beautiful ladies. Mwt Ms Right. Settled down.

Further, I had read about Buddhism. Attended some Buddhist meetings etc. After a short time here, I considered a life as a monk - for the wrong reasons.

In my native country, I had been quite successful in my profession. There must be more to life than this!

Now, I am bored - there is no direction. I am 67yo & in a relationship.

What to do?

Endure?

Live in another Asian country?

Return to my native country? Join the monkhood?

Members' experiences & recommendations welcome.

[fang37]

For me, there is nothing terribly wrong with Thailand. In fact, there are many things right.

PROBLEMS:

MY attitudes

MY values

MY desires

[loppylugs1]

How right you are...no direction,just joining the flow.

I too am truly pissed off here,no challenge,no nothing,too old to change anything,'cept perhaps places to live. Thailand is going down the plughole at a pace of kinots ,just do not know what motivates these people,do not want to learn anything especially another language which will at least encourage them to travel and see how their near neighbours live ,perhaps want to migrate to improve themselves,the contrast to living standards is surprising

Ive had enough ,about to start a round of air travel to see other places ,but have baggage which does not lelp my choice

[Crazy chef 1]

First time I came here some 20 years ago( pussy reasons and adventure) and felt in love with this country.later I came back almost every year than I got the chance to work here...found the perfect ( for me) wife bought a house,got a child and work my ass of for it...as every responsible man would do...

[simon43]

To some extent, after moving to Thailand in 2002, I have had to dumb down my lifestyle, due to the lack of challenges in my day-to-day living.

I am an academic/technical sort of guy, and whilst in the UK, I would enjoy visiting academic libraries, museums, attending technical groups etc.

Living in Phuket, these types of activities are not really possible - probably the same in 99% of Thailand.

I have learnt to be happy with my own, educated company, and to channel my technical skills and interests in a positive manner.

For example, at my guesthouse, I have installed radio receivers/antennas that allow web-users to view aircraft and shipping movements, via the flightradar24.com and marinetraffic.com websites. For mariners and NGO/rescue teams in remote areas, I provide the only 'radio email' (email without internet access) in south-east Asia. I also provide technical help to the Tourist Police in my role as a volunteer.

I do the above activities as an individual - it is simply not feasible to involve others (Thai or foreigner), because there is no-one in this region with similar skill levels. And I am very happy working on my own.

To the OP, do you have any hobbies? It is very easy to become bored with your life when there are many empty hours to fill.

[fang37]

Change!

As a young man, I was a boozer - joined AA at age 34. Stopped smoking at age 33

Stopped golf after cancer.

I could get back on the alcohol - lots of action - all bad.

Read a book.

Gardening

Buy a dog

Gambling

Experiment with illicit drugs

Basically, I have accomplished all my goals in life.

Sometimes, I see an old man just sitting there. What are they thinking? Are they thinking?

Then there are those who read the newspaper - cover to cover - do the crossword - day after day.

Is there a God? So what.

Wifey is sweeping the floors - she performs this task every day - seems contented.

I have always had interesting rewarding employment. Maybe that is the problem ie I am expecting too much?

Edited July 16, 2015 by fang37

[Loptr]

Easy to kick your brain into neutral living in Thailand and just coast... That's fine for a while as the OP noted, until you get bored... Most of us work the majority of our lives to earn enough to enjoy of nice retirement, then once retired have no idea what to do with the time... Take up a hobby, find interests you can explore regardless of you locale, read, go to the gym, go cycling, travel, write a book on your experiences, learn to cook, laugh, challenge yourself every day...

Attitude is everything...

[Gecko123]

Dear OP:

I too moved to Thailand in 2003 so I feel a certain amount of kinship with you.

My general advice is to take responsibility for your "boredom." You said you were bored back home, and now you're bored here. You need to find activities and interests to keep yourself mentally, physically, socially, etc., stimulated. That's your job, not everyone around you's job.

You hinted that your motives for joining the monk hood might not be healthy. You didn't say why but if getting out of a relationship was/is part of your motive, I would agree that this would not be healthy. If you are no longer happy in your relationship and don't think it can be salvaged, I would encourage anyone to move on. I am not a big believer in staying married just because it will look good in your obituary.

Back to the boredom issue: sometimes where you live in Thailand can make a huge difference. I live out in the country, but I will readily agree that not everyone is cut out for rural living, especially if your language skills are limited. I have found that I can relate a lot better to the Thai people living in a small town compared to a small village. Some people really need social contact with other expats, and if you're one of them, you may want to consider moving to an area which affords more opportunities in this area. If you're someone with a very low boredom threshold, then maybe an urban environment would better suit you.

Hope this helps.

[Crazy chef 1]

Change!

As a young man, I was a boozer - joined AA at age 34. Stopped smoking at age 33

Stopped golf after cancer.

I could get back on the alcohol - lots of action - all bad.

Read a book.

Gardening

Buy a dog

Gambling

Experiment with illicit drugs

Basically, I have accomplished all my goals in life.

Sometimes, I see an old man just sitting there. What are they thinking? Are they thinking?

Then there are those who read the newspaper - cover to cover - do the crossword - day after day.

Is there a God? So what.

Wifey is sweeping the floors - she performs this task every day - seems contented.

I have always had interesting rewarding employment. Maybe that is the problem ie I am expecting too much?

Join Thaivisaforum...

[Briggsy]

You are trapped in a dilemma between your head (logical) and your pants (illogical). This is the deep question you will need to ponder.

[Gecko123]

Change!

As a young man, I was a boozer - joined AA at age 34. Stopped smoking at age 33

Stopped golf after cancer.

I could get back on the alcohol - lots of action - all bad.

Read a book.

Gardening

Buy a dog

Gambling

Experiment with illicit drugs

Basically, I have accomplished all my goals in life.

Sometimes, I see an old man just sitting there. What are they thinking? Are they thinking?

Then there are those who read the newspaper - cover to cover - do the crossword - day after day.

Is there a God? So what.

Wifey is sweeping the floors - she performs this task every day - seems contented.

I have always had interesting rewarding employment. Maybe that is the problem ie I am expecting too much?

Join Thaivisaforum...

Crazy chef 1:

You just flunked your Thailand Suicide Hotline job interview.

[JLCrab]

From The Misfits (1961) Gay - Clark Gable; Roslyn (Taber) - Marilyn Monroe

Guido: Have you ever been outside Reno, Ms. Taber?

Roslyn: Once I walked to the edge of town; doesn't look like there's much out there.

Gay: Everything's there!

Roslyn: Like what?

Gay: The country!

Roslyn: Well, what do you do with yourself?

Gay: Just live.

Roslyn: How does anyone "just live"?

Gay: Well, you start by going to sleep. You get up when you feel like it. You scratch yourself. You fry yourself some eggs. You see what kind of a day it is; throw stones at a can, whistle.

[lostoday]

Average monthly wage where I came from in the West is around 140,000 baht. Where I live in Thailand it is 14,000 baht.

My health insurance pays for stuff in either place. Here I live like a rich guy there I lived like a poor guy.

I'd rather be rich in Thailand than poor in the West. I've tried both.

http://www.tradingeconomics.com/thailand/wages

[fang37]

Easy to kick your brain into neutral living in Thailand and just coast... That's fine for a while as the OP noted, until you get bored... Most of us work the majority of our lives to earn enough to enjoy of nice retirement, then once retired have no idea what to do with the time... Take up a hobby, find interests you can explore regardless of you locale, read, go to the gym, go cycling, travel, write a book on your experiences, learn to cook, laugh, challenge yourself every day...

Attitude is everything...

Interesting that you say this. During life, I was a high achiever. When I accomplished something, I was out looking for another challenge.

I retired at age 42 - illness I had enough $$$.

Read - always into education - I have 3 degrees. Novels - read 10 pages & put it away.

Gym - I became a gym junkie

Cycling - bought a bicycle recently. I was cycling to the local wat - hit by a pickup. 2 weeks in hospital with a badly broken leg. Another 4-6 months to recover. At the moment, I cannot walk.

Travel - I have been fortunate - almost all of Asia. UK & USA - no motivation

Cooking - had an obsession with Asian cuisine . Now to make things worse, I had all my teeth extracted - throat cancer. No chance re dentures. Live on fluids.

In AA. I always had an office - chairman. purchasing snacks, 12 step work, I have assisted at the local wat.

Many years ago, I was an academic at a university - too much writing.

Recently, I considered opening a blog about life in LOS - not verY originaL. Backed off tha - did not want the commitment.

My problem - I have no problems to solve?

I appreciate your time & suggestions.

I have been thinking - we built a house recently & relocated to the wife's home town. Other farangs here seem to be in a similar boat - maybe more accepting.

[NeverSure]

OP, You can be bored in any country. There's that old saying, "Wherever you go, there you are". Maybe changing locations would help you. Get into your home country where it might be easier to have friends, but I'd need a better reason than being bored to uproot myself. I'd reinvent myself where I was unless I was driven to be somewhere specific.

Cheers.

[giddyup]

OP, You can be bored in any country. There's that old saying, "Wherever you go, there you are". Maybe changing locations would help you. Get into your home country where it might be easier to have friends, but I'd need a better reason than being bored to uproot myself. I'd reinvent myself where I was unless I was driven to be somewhere specific.

Cheers.

There's also a line from a Crowded House song, "wherever you go you take the weather with you", which I understand to mean, you can change your location, but you're still the same person.

[Hornyskunk]

Try playing video games. Alternatively, trade me lives and I'll play video games for you.

PC strategy games from Paradox (i.e. Europa Universalis IV), Firaxis (i.e. Civilization V) and Creative Assembly (i.e. Total War Rome II) can be very intellectually challenging, especially against human opponents, and do not require youthful reaction times. They are also mostly history-based, appealing to an older crowd. I play these games when I get tired of mass murdering children in other games (or when I lose to that one teenager in a thousand that is actually better than me).

[Crazy chef 1]

Easy to kick your brain into neutral living in Thailand and just coast... That's fine for a while as the OP noted, until you get bored... Most of us work the majority of our lives to earn enough to enjoy of nice retirement, then once retired have no idea what to do with the time... Take up a hobby, find interests you can explore regardless of you locale, read, go to the gym, go cycling, travel, write a book on your experiences, learn to cook, laugh, challenge yourself every day...

Attitude is everything...

Interesting that you say this. During life, I was a high achiever. When I accomplished something, I was out looking for another challenge.

I retired at age 42 - illness I had enough $$$.

Read - always into education - I have 3 degrees. Novels - read 10 pages & put it away.

Gym - I became a gym junkie

Cycling - bought a bicycle recently. I was cycling to the local wat - hit by a pickup. 2 weeks in hospital with a badly broken leg. Another 4-6 months to recover. At the moment, I cannot walk.

Travel - I have been fortunate - almost all of Asia. UK & USA - no motivation

Cooking - had an obsession with Asian cuisine . Now to make things worse, I had all my teeth extracted - throat cancer. No chance re dentures. Live on fluids.

In AA. I always had an office - chairman. purchasing snacks, 12 step work, I have assisted at the local wat.

Many years ago, I was an academic at a university - too much writing.

Recently, I considered opening a blog about life in LOS - not verY originaL. Backed off tha - did not want the commitment.

My problem - I have no problems to solve?

I appreciate your time & suggestions.

I have been thinking - we built a house recently & relocated to the wife's home town. Other farangs here seem to be in a similar boat - maybe more accepting.

Usually I don't accuse members of it... But are you somehow trolling???but if everything is true( doubt about the teeth part) than I pity you....

[fang37]

No trolling. Just sitting here day after day with a broken leg.

Teeth - 27 extracted in 2 sessions. Now that was exciting.

Food intake - soy milk & iced coffee only

[joeyg]

No trolling. Just sitting here day after day with a broken leg.

Teeth - 27 extracted in 2 sessions. Now that was exciting.

Food intake - soy milk & iced coffee only

Sorry you're not well man. Hope things improve for you...

[sipi]

I can't wait to be 67 and digging the garden whilst the wife mops the floor. It sure beats running from pillar to post day and night.

[weegee]

Find a hobbie for sure...I did and it's a completely different world, as you are occupied...

Who would have guessed, i would enjoy fooling around with mowers, coming from my profession previously...Totally different worlds.

You are not trolling....You are bored. Find something before you let yourself go crazy.

[fang37]

I can't wait to be 67 and digging the garden whilst the wife mops the floor. It sure beats running from pillar to post day and night.

/quote]

With life there is suffering - working or a life of leisure.

I have discovered that having balance in one's life us nibbana.

As a young man I was top in my profession, elite sportsman, popular with the women. Family - nightmare. BUT, overall it was quality.

The first 8 years here was quality but health has been a challenge.

Acceptance & adjustment seem to be the solutions.

So, at the moment, I am incapacitated. It has taught me a good lesson. Being independent physically is a real bonus, Next time you are out shopping just say hello to a wheelchaired person - make his day. It might be me!

There is an AA saying -"Count Your Blessings". eg no shoes v no feet.

Edited July 16, 2015 by fang37

[Gecko123]

OP:

You're thinking about becoming a monk even though you've been diagnosed with throat cancer, your teeth are being extracted left and right, you're confined to a wheel chair, you're on an all-liquid diet, and you're bored most of the time?

I'm not sure if the local monastery would welcome a low-maintenance foreign novice monk such as yourself with open arms. Do you think you'll have any problem keeping up with the other monks when they make their early morning alms rounds? Just something to consider.

Edited July 16, 2015 by Gecko123

[loppylugs1]

you will always be living under the cosh in Thailand,always, not your fault? the Thais will make it your fault,cunning deceitful to a tee,try to get rid of long time GF police become involved bail etc the justice system stinks,look at the yank yesterday died in prison wanting medical attention. just keep the head down

[mmh8]

fuk it you soujnd like you are 67 years young, time to take interest in vietnam, laos china , burma, indoesia, etc etc.you just need some more adventure in life

on the leg front I remeber meeting a chap had lived in india as a mystic type - he was a mnk for aorund 20 years, highly revered by indians and travellers. he only had one leg, the other was a falsey, he took it off when he sat to meditate. when i last saw him he was off to set up a mediation centre in his own coutnry.

[Crazy chef 1]

No trolling. Just sitting here day after day with a broken leg.

Teeth - 27 extracted in 2 sessions. Now that was exciting.

Food intake - soy milk & iced coffee only

I am really sorry for you ...honestly

But take Collineil as a role model he has a much worst fate and still a great bloke...

Edited July 16, 2015 by Crazy chef 1

[fang37]

Who is Collineil?

How do I locate his thread if applicable?

[Cypress Hill]

How right you are...no direction,just joining the flow.

I too am truly pissed off here,no challenge,no nothing,too old to change anything,'cept perhaps places to live. Thailand is going down the plughole at a pace of kinots ,just do not know what motivates these people,do not want to learn anything especially another language which will at least encourage them to travel and see how their near neighbours live ,perhaps want to migrate to improve themselves,the contrast to living standards is surprising

Ive had enough ,about to start a round of air travel to see other places ,but have baggage which does not lelp my choice

So because you've no direction or challenge in your life, Thailand's going down the plughole??

Pure horse shit

Stop projecting your misery on to the country and its people.

Both got on just fine before you arrived and they'll do so after you've gone

[jackspade]

You could try playing video games, as one commenter above suggested.

Or, perhaps, you could do something, you know... valuable?... with your time. Suggestions: writing a book, starting a company, sharing your knowledge by teaching English or Business, or getting involved in local nonprofits.

OTOH, if you're non-ambulatory, maybe all you can do is write a book, start an online business, etc...