The 13 girls you’ll date in Bangkok

[rooster59]

The 13 girls you’ll date in Bangkok

 

By Laurel Tuohy and Prae Sakaowan

 

Original Illustrations: Praew Tansanga

 

Editor’s Note: This article was written by Coconuts Bangkok’s two female editors, based on anecdotal evidence, observation and hours of conversation with real, actual men. If you’ve been in Bangkok awhile, you might recognize some of these profile types. If you’re new to the city, you might consider this a crash course. No matter how you look at it, it’s intended to be humorous and don’t worry, we’re already at work on our outrageous profiles of the city’s men.

 

1.The Do-gooder NGO Girl on THB125,000 Salary

 

 

Her goals are lofty and her head is in the clouds. She wants to help the poor and needy — and she’ll tell you about it over many, many THB300 cocktails at Above 11. If she invites you back to her place, go. It will be a palace cause she’s got an accommodation allowance.

 

2. The Hi-so Thai Girl Slumming It

 

 

She’s got the looks, the clothes, the car, the money. She doesn’t need you for anything so, if she’s seeing you, you’re probably a DJ, a model or French. She might take you to a launch party, a fashion event or The Commons to show you off to her friends. Or she’ll ask to go to one of “your” places so she can see how the commoners socialize. You won’t be brought home to meet Mommy and Daddy though. That’s only for hi-so Thai guys.

 

3. The English Teacher

 

 

You know her. You see her at Cheap Charlie’s, and you may work beside her. She thought moving to Thailand would be all about adventure, exotic food, new friends, island-hopping and romance. It is, except without the romance. You see, no one told her before she arrived that Thai guys aren’t really into farang girls and foreign guys mostly came to bang Thai chicks. Because of this, she hasn’t gotten laid in a while and will put up with more bad behavior than she would in her home country. As far as her lifestyle, she has to work at 7:30 every morning so she’s pretty straight-laced during the week but watch out on the weekends — it’s party time from Friday afternoon until Sunday night. You won’t be able to keep up.

 

Full story: http://bangkok.coconuts.co/2016/08/26/13-girls-youll-date-bangkok

 

 

 

-- © Copyright Coconuts Bangkok 2016-08-28

 

 

[Pdaz]

Note to self: Never bother working for an NGO, the pay is obviously <deleted>...

[z42]

Chewing gum for the eyes. Nothing more.

 

Had to laugh at how it implies that any man would switch back to dating western women while living here ?  

 

But seriously the writer must have their head quite a way up there by now. Frightening  

 

 

[MissAndry]

This one is more amusing http://bangkok.coconuts.co/2014/08/11/10-men-youll-date-or-sleep-bangkok

[phuketandsee]

"Until he does too much yaba one night and kills you both. Sorry, we mean, until you accidentally fall off of your balcony in Pattaya".

 

Love it - but truer than we would like to believe

[elgordo38]

2 hours ago, MissAndry said:

This one is more amusing http://bangkok.coconuts.co/2014/08/11/10-men-youll-date-or-sleep-bangkok

Thats showing em MissAndry your at the top of your game. 

[williamgeorgeallen]

ha ha, great reading. quite a bit if truth in there for most of us.

[Kwasaki]

Oh great l picked the right girl then but i wasn't in Bkk. 

[bazza40]

May have met them all if I had stayed in Bangkok more than  24 hours, which is all I can take of it. The drainhole of Thailand.

[Don Mega]

As I detest Bangkok I doubt I'll be dating any of those girls, however if they decide to come to Pattaya and sell their snatch I'll happily rent it for an hour.

[bazza40]

Just now, Don Mega said:

As I detest Bangkok I doubt I'll be dating any of those girls, however if they decide to come to Pattaya and sell their snatch I'll happily rent it for an hour.

Not very selective, are you? Come one, come all.

[Don Mega]

2 minutes ago, bazza40 said:

Not very selective, are you? Come one, come all.

the more the merrier.

[bazza40]

Just now, Don Mega said:

the more the merrier.

Your stamina is obviously better than mine.

[Don Mega]

5 minutes ago, bazza40 said:

Your stamina is obviously better than mine.

nah. get em to clean the house whilst I sit on the lounge having a beer.

[smotherb]

28 minutes ago, Don Mega said:

nah. get em to clean the house whilst I sit on the lounge having a beer.

 

Take  three, so one can wash your bike, another can clean the house and the third can clean your clock whilst you have a beer.

[Don Mega]

5 minutes ago, smotherb said:

 

Take  three, so one can wash your bike, another can clean the house and the third can clean your clock whilst you have a beer.

I like the cut of your jib

[mic59]

One of the sentences next to number 1 was "Her goals are lofty and her head is in the clouds. She wants to help the poor and needy — and she’ll tell you about it over many, many THB300 cocktails at Above 11" . Although it wasn't pointed out that although she has a THB125000 salary she will still expect you to pay for her cocktails.

[eldragon]

At first glance I thought it said- Ah, better not... Anyway, 8 and 13 seem pretty accurate and make up most of what I've done with myself here.

Edited August 28, 2016 by eldragon

[tifino]

 

 

 in the pix in the OP, all I started with, was counting the Adam's Apples

[NickJ]

I'll stick to my vest and the 72 promised.

[eldragon]

They left out at least a couple here...

 

• The fanarng hunter who has sworn off Thai men b/c her high-school or university sweetheart broke her heart, but is convinced foreigners are different and will subsequently try & fail countless times before one of em gets her prego.

 

• The made daughter of a bargirl whose mom struck it rich with a foreigner. She's never worked at the bars and doesn't want for money all that much, but shares the attitude of a hooker, and is always thinking about an older, richer guy in the back of her head. Dad is nowhere to be seen. Mom may or may not live abroad.

 

• The working girl, decent and self-sufficient with good intentions, but past her shelf life in the eyes of Thai guys. She'd probably make a really nice wife, but just isn't as attractive or exciting as some of Bangkok's other temptations.

 

What else?

[212Roger]

4 hours ago, smotherb said:

 

Take  three, so one can wash your bike, another can clean the house and the third can clean your clock whilst you have a beer.

Exactly!  It takes three Thai girls to do a one girl job.  You don't want them getting bored or not have fun while working.  You want them to call again, don't you?

[gamini]

wrong use of word Hi-So. It means a person who pretends to be of high class when they are not. They are hated by all Thais and it is a big insult.

[smotherb]

2 hours ago, 212Roger said:

Exactly!  It takes three Thai girls to do a one girl job.  You don't want them getting bored or not have fun while working.  You want them to call again, don't you?

Oh you silly boy. With each beer you have the girls switch tasks. And, no, you don't want them to call again. You don't treasure that cold beer do you? You buy it, you drink it, you get another. Same-same.

[Bender]

14. the fat ugly thai chicks

The girl who is so ugly and so fat, that she was never touched by a thai men.

One day she will found a dumb farang who will call her: "my little princess" 

[Bender]

15. the girl with kids and a village

Usually the thai girl who has at least 5 kids from various thai fathers. All of them did a runner. She needs to feed the kids and the whole village.

Here come the dumb farang....

Edited August 28, 2016 by Bender

[Bender]

16. the in-debt thai girl

To make it simple, she owe money to everyone. She borrowed money from the bank to pay back the money she borrowed from the loan shark to pay back the money she borrowed from the temple to pay back the money she borrowed from her grandmother to pay back the money she borrowed from the Chinese to payback the money she borrowed from her yaba brother to pay back all her gambling  debts.

You are her last chance, but dont worry the money you will give her will be used to play lotto at the casino first.

 

Edited August 28, 2016 by Bender

[Bender]

17. the thaivisa girlfriend

She is thai-chinese with some issan blood, yes sir. She has a PhD in neuroscience, she come from a very wealthy family somewhere from NakornNowhere, She has 20 buffalos. So she never ask for money. In fact her driver is more rich than you. She is so gorgeous and can make love 24 hours per day. And she only date elderly, fat, bald thaivisa's member.

Edited August 28, 2016 by Bender

[Razzler1973]

17 hours ago, eldragon said:

They left out at least a couple here...

 

• The fanarng hunter who has sworn off Thai men b/c her high-school or university sweetheart broke her heart, but is convinced foreigners are different and will subsequently try & fail countless times before one of em gets her prego.

 

• The made daughter of a bargirl whose mom struck it rich with a foreigner. She's never worked at the bars and doesn't want for money all that much, but shares the attitude of a hooker, and is always thinking about an older, richer guy in the back of her head. Dad is nowhere to be seen. Mom may or may not live abroad.

 

• The working girl, decent and self-sufficient with good intentions, but past her shelf life in the eyes of Thai guys. She'd probably make a really nice wife, but just isn't as attractive or exciting as some of Bangkok's other temptations.

 

What else?

 

The farang hunter is a bit like the whore monger.

 

They've sworn off Thai men but it doesn't matter cause the Thai blokes aren't interested anyway. Whore mongers aren't interested in Thai office chicks and only hookers but it doesn't matter cause those girls aren't interested in them either

[Razzler1973]

On 28/08/2016 at 7:05 AM, MissAndry said:

This one is more amusing http://bangkok.coconuts.co/2014/08/11/10-men-youll-date-or-sleep-bangkok

 

I loved this one, the sniping at pretty much everyone ... except, well, the ones she's clearly banged, the backpacker, teacher (of course!) and the country boy

 

Just another strong, indepedent female cliche banging some bar guy on the islands. These guys rarely seem to give a shit, just drowning in a sea of peaches and cream pussy and going about their evenings. Always amuses me. Seen it for decades now but every home counties chick having a 'cultural experience' thinks she's breaking new ground.

 

This article slates everyone but puts over these 'country boys' strong so you can tell where her experiences lay