How Much Sin-sod Did You Pay?

[meemiathai]

Reading through the thread, I actually rethink that sin sod can be a scam for a farang. Money will be the only thing a girl wants from some of the posters here. Very true and glad they knew it.

[bkkmadness]

anyone have experience with neighbouring countries.

burma, laos, cambodia.

i believe its a custom in burma as well,

and it might soon be real question for my good self and burma lady.

Yep dude, Burmese mate just turned up at my place, he said it was same deal as Thailand.

[TizMe]

What happens when an Indian man marries a Thai women? Who's culture is the most important?

I was never asked to pay.

Why should we farang "accept Thai customs", why shouldn't our wives accept that our customs dictate that no sin-sot is payed?

[terry57]

anyone have experience with neighbouring countries.

burma, laos, cambodia.

i believe its a custom in burma as well,

and it might soon be real question for my good self and burma lady.

Yep dude, Burmese mate just turned up at my place, he said it was same deal as Thailand.

i was in borneo earlier this year and met this young aussie that married a local girl.

same deal there as well mate,

the dude paid sin sot.

normal practise as explained to me by a very well educated hostel owner.

[terry57]

Reading through the thread, I actually rethink that sin sod can be a scam for a farang. Money will be the only thing a girl wants from some of the posters here. Very true and glad they knew it.

meethai,

you are correct when you say sin sod can be a scam if the farang picks the wrong woman.

but you cannot deny that it is a normal part of thai culture, and when approached in a sensible manner is not a problem.

the problem is the stupid farang who met and marry a local within a space of a few months not bothering to learn about there future spouse and local customs.

i have no sympathy for these desperado's.

[terry57]

Joe>> Are you saying that they require that you speak dutch to get a continious Visa or do you infact talk about RS? Since to get it here you better be prepered to show more then your ability to speak Thai.

People from outside the EU have to undergo a test before getting allowed to stay longer than 3 months in The Netherlands. Part of that test is speaking Dutch. It also includes knowledge of the dutch history, royal family, political items etcetera. I wrote in some post about a friend of mine in Sukothai. She married a Dutchman and wants to live there until he retires and they can live in Thailand. She has to learn to speak Dutch, which is very difficult for asian people. She is teaching English but has trememdous problems with the dutch language.

And IIRC, a farang is allowed to lease 1 rai, not 2. or has this changed? Just pointing out so no-one get's confused, if it hasn't changed.

As far as I know you can lease the land needed for building the house on. For the rest you can rent land, like we have rented 8 rai of land with sugar on it, for 10 years, 500 baht per rai per year.

Thanks for the remarks on sin sot. As MS wrote earlier the main and only thing about marriage is that you and your wife love each other and want to stay together for life time. If you are not sure of that or think your wife could walk away with your money, you're obviously not ready to marry that woman and you need to do more homework by going into yourself to find out if you want that woman forever or just shot taam.

Joe

i respect your good intention joe and wish you the best.

life happens when we are making other plans. i think all people when they marry feel the same as you do about your wife but unfortunately many marrages fall over after a while whether they be thai or farang.

hope yours is a good one but at least you seem to have the right idea on the importance to respect thai custom.

many people still seem to struggle with this aspect.

[Bruce1]

Actually, I thought a farang could own 49% of land as long as a Thai owned the other 51%?

So Joe could have his name on the deeds for 49% and his wife for 51%. Or is that wrong?

Good luck to him whatever, if he's happy we should all be happy.

[cdnvic]

the problem is the stupid farang who met and marry a local within a space of a few months not bothering to learn about there future spouse and local customs.

i have no sympathy for these desperado's.

Yeah, if you are getting married before your first visa run, expect a few surprises.

[terry57]

Actually, I thought a farang could own 49% of land as long as a Thai owned the other 51%?

So Joe could have his name on the deeds for 49% and his wife for 51%. Or is that wrong?

Good luck to him whatever, if he's happy we should all be happy.

yes , well that is close to the mark, but it is still the same result as the thai has majority share and farang has minority.

it dont mean nothing mate as when the <deleted> hits the fan the farang will always be shafted, so all this talk about having things in the thai womens name means one thing only.

when it all goes bad, its all hers.

as long as the punters accept this fact its all ok.

even if one has a thirty year lease like joe does, if he has problems he must leave with nothing.

if one makes trouble you might not be able to leave, if you can understand my meaning.

[Bruce1]

Yes, I think you're right about the reality of the situation, whateever the law says. I'd be very reluctant to bring money into this country to buy property under any deal unless the laws about foreigners owning property were relaxed considerably.

I see the govt. is about to make voting rights a criteria in companies re foreign ownership, so that will shaft all those many people who set up companies they controlled by voting rights, and close off that avenue. So, actually, they're going to make the laws even more restrictive, not less restrictive. Even more reason for a foreigner not to buy in Thailand.

Rents are cheap anyway.

[meemiathai]

Reading through the thread, I actually rethink that sin sod can be a scam for a farang. Money will be the only thing a girl wants from some of the posters here. Very true and glad they knew it.

meethai,

you are correct when you say sin sod can be a scam if the farang picks the wrong woman.

but you cannot deny that it is a normal part of thai culture, and when approached in a sensible manner is not a problem.

the problem is the stupid farang who met and marry a local within a space of a few months not bothering to learn about there future spouse and local customs.

i have no sympathy for these desperado's.

Sorry to say that I am this stupid farang(well half farang). I suggested us getting married the 3rd time we met which was less than 2 months. 7 yrs now. I have learnt the culture quite well I suppose according to the reactions of my wife's friends and parents and all other villagers.

[terry57]

Reading through the thread, I actually rethink that sin sod can be a scam for a farang. Money will be the only thing a girl wants from some of the posters here. Very true and glad they knew it.

meethai,

you are correct when you say sin sod can be a scam if the farang picks the wrong woman.

but you cannot deny that it is a normal part of thai culture, and when approached in a sensible manner is not a problem.

the problem is the stupid farang who met and marry a local within a space of a few months not bothering to learn about there future spouse and local customs.

i have no sympathy for these desperado's.

Sorry to say that I am this stupid farang(well half farang). I suggested us getting married the 3rd time we met which was less than 2 months. 7 yrs now. I have learnt the culture quite well I suppose according to the reactions of my wife's friends and parents and all other villagers.

well thats a big surprise to me meethai as i was not directing my comments to you but speaking in general.

i would suggest you are a very lucky guy that you are still married after marrying so quickly and would say that one takes a big chance after such a short time.

but good luck to you mate as your's is ok and thats all that matters.

[terry57]

Yes, I think you're right about the reality of the situation, whateever the law says. I'd be very reluctant to bring money into this country to buy property under any deal unless the laws about foreigners owning property were relaxed considerably.

I see the govt. is about to make voting rights a criteria in companies re foreign ownership, so that will shaft all those many people who set up companies they controlled by voting rights, and close off that avenue. So, actually, they're going to make the laws even more restrictive, not less restrictive. Even more reason for a foreigner not to buy in Thailand.

Rents are cheap anyway.

you know what the deal is mate,

you can have every law changed in this country so the farang can legally own land and it would still mean absolutely nothing.

anybody who knows thailand will tell you that its all about personal relationships and contacts.

one must stay in harmony with ones partner whether it be personal or professional.

its not a case of running down to the police or getting a lawyer like we do in western countrys when the <deleted> hits the fan.

its the wild west in los and disputes are usually settled outside the courts, the farang will always be on the losing end and thats just the way it is.

when things get really ugly the dispute is usuually settled at the end of a gun.

for myself personally, i will only rent when i move to los and as you say, rents are cheap.

if one keeps his money outside thailand life is so much easier as one can concentrate on enjoying the los and not worrying about his money.

very easy really.

[farangsay]

Yes, I think you're right about the reality of the situation, whateever the law says. I'd be very reluctant to bring money into this country to buy property under any deal unless the laws about foreigners owning property were relaxed considerably.

I see the govt. is about to make voting rights a criteria in companies re foreign ownership, so that will shaft all those many people who set up companies they controlled by voting rights, and close off that avenue. So, actually, they're going to make the laws even more restrictive, not less restrictive. Even more reason for a foreigner not to buy in Thailand.

Rents are cheap anyway.

Interesting that a thread on sin sod should drift off into

a debate on investment and owning property.

Is there a connection , if only an ironic one ?

[terry57]

Yes, I think you're right about the reality of the situation, whateever the law says. I'd be very reluctant to bring money into this country to buy property under any deal unless the laws about foreigners owning property were relaxed considerably.

I see the govt. is about to make voting rights a criteria in companies re foreign ownership, so that will shaft all those many people who set up companies they controlled by voting rights, and close off that avenue. So, actually, they're going to make the laws even more restrictive, not less restrictive. Even more reason for a foreigner not to buy in Thailand.

Rents are cheap anyway.

Interesting that a thread on sin sod should drift off into

a debate on investment and owning property.

Is there a connection , if only an ironic one ?

you got a very good point there farangsay.

so bruce,

i suggest you get your act together and stay on topic please.

cricky's mate,

its not that hard is it.

[raro]

Yes,

It's much safer and economical to fall in love with an avatar

[Bruce1]

I only mentiooned property because Joe said his sin sod included a property element coming back from the wife's family. But you're right, it's not on topic, so consider my wrist slapped.

Its interesting that sin sod seems to be the opposite of the dowry system, under which its the woman who brings a chunk of money/assets into the relationship. Why would Thailand have the opposite system to, say, India? Do women really rule in Thailand and men in India? Or is it because men outnumber women in Thailand and vice versa in India?

[Buckwheat]

Yes,

It's much safer and economical to fall in love with an avatar

Surely you must be joking...no one would be that foolish, although I have to admit that when I was 11, I kissed the picture of a Playboy centerfold. Is that kinda like the same thing?

[SanukJoe]

Joe>> Are you saying that they require that you speak dutch to get a continious Visa or do you infact talk about RS? Since to get it here you better be prepered to show more then your ability to speak Thai.

People from outside the EU have to undergo a test before getting allowed to stay longer than 3 months in The Netherlands. Part of that test is speaking Dutch. It also includes knowledge of the dutch history, royal family, political items etcetera. I wrote in some post about a friend of mine in Sukothai. She married a Dutchman and wants to live there until he retires and they can live in Thailand. She has to learn to speak Dutch, which is very difficult for asian people. She is teaching English but has trememdous problems with the dutch language.

And IIRC, a farang is allowed to lease 1 rai, not 2. or has this changed? Just pointing out so no-one get's confused, if it hasn't changed.

As far as I know you can lease the land needed for building the house on. For the rest you can rent land, like we have rented 8 rai of land with sugar on it, for 10 years, 500 baht per rai per year.

Thanks for the remarks on sin sot. As MS wrote earlier the main and only thing about marriage is that you and your wife love each other and want to stay together for life time. If you are not sure of that or think your wife could walk away with your money, you're obviously not ready to marry that woman and you need to do more homework by going into yourself to find out if you want that woman forever or just shot taam.

Joe

i respect your good intention joe and wish you the best.

life happens when we are making other plans. i think all people when they marry feel the same as you do about your wife but unfortunately many marrages fall over after a while whether they be thai or farang.

hope yours is a good one but at least you seem to have the right idea on the importance to respect thai custom.

many people still seem to struggle with this aspect.

Thanks Terry

Let me tell you what my philosophy in this matter is.

In my business life I have learned something very important: Spread risks! That is what I'm doing in a lot of matters in my life sofar and in my future life in LOS. E.g. our farm will not concentrate on cattle, rubber trees or whatever, we will have cattle, pigs, rubber trees, Papaya etcetera. Spreading the risk means able to cope with difficulties in one area of your activities.

So it is with money. I have made a well thought over plan to spread the risk of losing money, one way or the other. It is a 10 year period I cover and I invest my money in several ways. There are investments I could lose if my marriage would not turn out to be forever (which I heavily doubt as I've never met a woman who came near to my present wife as far as partnership, commitment, soulmates and real love is concerned), there are investments that would guarantuee me a new start if necessary.

So when everything is still fine after 10 years it will stay like that for sure, in the meantime our farm will give us a nice income and after 10 years we can relax and have a good life from the yield of the rubber trees (23 years long, I won't get that old :-) After those 23 years my wife can sell the rubber tree timber and have a couple of millions for her retirement. I think I did well.

Terry, I agree with you: if marriage break up I will not stay in the house that is in my name, I will leave. Just I will not leave with nothing.

Joe

[SanukJoe]

What happens when an Indian man marries a Thai women? Who's culture is the most important?

I was never asked to pay.

Why should we farang "accept Thai customs", why shouldn't our wives accept that our customs dictate that no sin-sot is payed?

Also you don't understand a bit of culture.

If man and woman want to marry they will talk about a lot of things. If man and woman are from different countries they will talk about where to marry, where to live, how? Lots of questions.

If man and woman are from different cultures there is even more to be talked over. Like what culture is accepted by both or what part of each culture can be accepted by both? It's all a matter of communication and no culture says you are not allowed to pay sin sot. It's a voluntary thing to do, if you want and if you respect that part of your wife's culture. What culture to chose is also a matter of in which country you live after your marriage. No UK citizen (example) would allow his thai wife to eat with her fingers in a restaurant or walk barefeet in the streets. He would also not accept that she sits on the floor and sleeps on the floor, and that is correct as she has to follow the social rules of the country she lives in.

So is it with men living with their thai wife in Thailand. You cannot expect a whole country to change because you are there. YOU chose to live there in a country with his own culture and traditions, so you have to stick to that. No Thai expects you to totally live to that culture but respect is all they ask and some things show that you respect the thai culture, the country and your thai wife.

Last thing: dowry in India is paid by the girl's family to convince a man to marry her. Sin sot has nothing to do with that (not even reverse), man and thai woman decide themselves if they want to get married, indian girls don't, they have no choice.

Joe

[meemiathai]

Joe>> Are you saying that they require that you speak dutch to get a continious Visa or do you infact talk about RS? Since to get it here you better be prepered to show more then your ability to speak Thai.

People from outside the EU have to undergo a test before getting allowed to stay longer than 3 months in The Netherlands. Part of that test is speaking Dutch. It also includes knowledge of the dutch history, royal family, political items etcetera. I wrote in some post about a friend of mine in Sukothai. She married a Dutchman and wants to live there until he retires and they can live in Thailand. She has to learn to speak Dutch, which is very difficult for asian people. She is teaching English but has trememdous problems with the dutch language.

And IIRC, a farang is allowed to lease 1 rai, not 2. or has this changed? Just pointing out so no-one get's confused, if it hasn't changed.

As far as I know you can lease the land needed for building the house on. For the rest you can rent land, like we have rented 8 rai of land with sugar on it, for 10 years, 500 baht per rai per year.

Thanks for the remarks on sin sot. As MS wrote earlier the main and only thing about marriage is that you and your wife love each other and want to stay together for life time. If you are not sure of that or think your wife could walk away with your money, you're obviously not ready to marry that woman and you need to do more homework by going into yourself to find out if you want that woman forever or just shot taam.

Joe

i respect your good intention joe and wish you the best.

life happens when we are making other plans. i think all people when they marry feel the same as you do about your wife but unfortunately many marrages fall over after a while whether they be thai or farang.

hope yours is a good one but at least you seem to have the right idea on the importance to respect thai custom.

many people still seem to struggle with this aspect.

Thanks Terry

Let me tell you what my philosophy in this matter is.

In my business life I have learned something very important: Spread risks! That is what I'm doing in a lot of matters in my life sofar and in my future life in LOS. E.g. our farm will not concentrate on cattle, rubber trees or whatever, we will have cattle, pigs, rubber trees, Papaya etcetera. Spreading the risk means able to cope with difficulties in one area of your activities.

So it is with money. I have made a well thought over plan to spread the risk of losing money, one way or the other. It is a 10 year period I cover and I invest my money in several ways. There are investments I could lose if my marriage would not turn out to be forever (which I heavily doubt as I've never met a woman who came near to my present wife as far as partnership, commitment, soulmates and real love is concerned), there are investments that would guarantuee me a new start if necessary.

So when everything is still fine after 10 years it will stay like that for sure, in the meantime our farm will give us a nice income and after 10 years we can relax and have a good life from the yield of the rubber trees (23 years long, I won't get that old :-) After those 23 years my wife can sell the rubber tree timber and have a couple of millions for her retirement. I think I did well.

Terry, I agree with you: if marriage break up I will not stay in the house that is in my name, I will leave. Just I will not leave with nothing.

Joe

Very well said, Joe.

Spreading investments. If I were to put money into Thailand, actually anywhere else, I will always be prepared to lose it.

One other point also is, I am willing to risk anything including my life for my wife. There will be nothing I would be regreted of if our relationship does in fact turn sour in the future. Even if my wife betrays me in any way, I will have no regrets. That being said, of course one has to be confident to a certain degree to do that. And I am quite sure and confident that no amount of money is going to buy her love away from me. My love for her certainly worths more than any amount of money and she knows that.

And to Terry, no worries, I never quite take offense to words.

I don't think the amount of time to take to know the woman or her culture is a very big factor in a relationship. The quality of the person himself is very important. Even if the woman is the worst liar on earth, one might have the ability to change her if one has the qualities.

I quite hate the fact that in general members here seem to think that it is mainly farangs being the victims, farangs being taken advantages of, most thai girls or even bar girls are only after money and trying to rip people off. But I think people here are only looking at things at the surface. People here fail to see what exactly things are all about. If the qualities of the farangs here looking for gfs and wives aren't that good, what do you guys think is left behind that the girls might want from those farangs? MONEY!

Imagine if there is a farangland where there are lots of good-looking guys but are very very poor, and there are plenty of girls from a very rich asian country coming to look for partners, what do you think might happen?

[meemiathai]

No Thai expects you to totally live to that culture but respect is all they ask and some things show that you respect the thai culture, the country and your thai wife.

I give u 100 marks!

I am amazed by you, Joe. Have hardly seen a farang that understands these things so well!

[SanukJoe]

No Thai expects you to totally live to that culture but respect is all they ask and some things show that you respect the thai culture, the country and your thai wife.

I give u 100 marks!

I am amazed by you, Joe. Have hardly seen a farang that understands these things so well!

Thanks MMT, good to see support. Marks = german marks? Or don't I get the point?

If you are interested in it and you are WILLING to learn about culture then you will probably start to like it. I love thai culture as it is so nicely different of what I've experienced back home. It is nice, sweet, respectful, thankful for the life they live (even if it's a poor life).

And I must admit: having my wonderful wife around me and seeing her move in that culture, I'm a very lucky man!

Joe

[TizMe]

Also you don't understand a bit of culture.

You have no idea what I understand..

If man and woman are from different cultures there is even more to be talked over. Like what culture is accepted by both or what part of each culture can be accepted by both?

Because we come from different cultures doesn't mean that one has to adopt the other's culture.

What culture to chose is also a matter of in which country you live after your marriage. No UK citizen (example) would allow his thai wife to eat with her fingers in a restaurant or walk barefeet in the streets. He would also not accept that she sits on the floor and sleeps on the floor, and that is correct as she has to follow the social rules of the country she lives in.

<deleted>. First, my wife would never walk barefoot in the street in Thailand. Second she only eats "finger food" with her hands regardless of which country she is in. But if she wants to sit on the floor then why should I care? (again she would only sit on a clean floor out of peoples way, exactly the same as she would in Thailand.

So is it with men living with their thai wife in Thailand. You cannot expect a whole country to change because you are there. YOU chose to live there in a country with his own culture and traditions, so you have to stick to that.

<deleted> again. I will respect all of my wife's culture and traditions, but don't expect me to adopt a mai pen rai attitude or become superstitious and scared of ghosts. (or pay sin-sot)

[Donz]

Also you don't understand a bit of culture.

You have no idea what I understand..

If man and woman are from different cultures there is even more to be talked over. Like what culture is accepted by both or what part of each culture can be accepted by both?

Because we come from different cultures doesn't mean that one has to adopt the other's culture.

What culture to chose is also a matter of in which country you live after your marriage. No UK citizen (example) would allow his thai wife to eat with her fingers in a restaurant or walk barefeet in the streets. He would also not accept that she sits on the floor and sleeps on the floor, and that is correct as she has to follow the social rules of the country she lives in.

<deleted>. First, my wife would never walk barefoot in the street in Thailand. Second she only eats "finger food" with her hands regardless of which country she is in. But if she wants to sit on the floor then why should I care? (again she would only sit on a clean floor out of peoples way, exactly the same as she would in Thailand.

So is it with men living with their thai wife in Thailand. You cannot expect a whole country to change because you are there. YOU chose to live there in a country with his own culture and traditions, so you have to stick to that.

<deleted> again. I will respect all of my wife's culture and traditions, but don't expect me to adopt a mai pen rai attitude or become superstitious and scared of ghosts. (or pay sin-sot)

How long have you 2 been together and how/where did you meet?

How is your relationship going also?

lol

[meemiathai]

Also you don't understand a bit of culture.

You have no idea what I understand..

If man and woman are from different cultures there is even more to be talked over. Like what culture is accepted by both or what part of each culture can be accepted by both?

Because we come from different cultures doesn't mean that one has to adopt the other's culture.

What culture to chose is also a matter of in which country you live after your marriage. No UK citizen (example) would allow his thai wife to eat with her fingers in a restaurant or walk barefeet in the streets. He would also not accept that she sits on the floor and sleeps on the floor, and that is correct as she has to follow the social rules of the country she lives in.

<deleted>. First, my wife would never walk barefoot in the street in Thailand. Second she only eats "finger food" with her hands regardless of which country she is in. But if she wants to sit on the floor then why should I care? (again she would only sit on a clean floor out of peoples way, exactly the same as she would in Thailand.

So is it with men living with their thai wife in Thailand. You cannot expect a whole country to change because you are there. YOU chose to live there in a country with his own culture and traditions, so you have to stick to that.

<deleted> again. I will respect all of my wife's culture and traditions, but don't expect me to adopt a mai pen rai attitude or become superstitious and scared of ghosts. (or pay sin-sot)

You have no idea at all what Joe is talking about. But who cares? If you are happy then let it be.

[Mid]

I will respect all of my wife's culture and traditions, but don't expect me to adopt a mai pen rai attitude or become superstitious and scared of ghosts. (or pay sin-sot)

so you also missed out on the rose tinted glasses when you joined ...........

[bmanly]

the problem is the stupid farang who met and marry a local within a space of a few months not bothering to learn about there future spouse and local customs.

i have no sympathy for these desperado's.

Oh really, I met my wife in Sydney, 4 weeks later I popped the question and 3 Months later we were married. I had never been to Thailand and didn't know anything about the country. Now 17 years later we are still together and still going strong. For a bloke that's never been married you sure have a lot of opinions on the subject.

On another point you suggested Australia had no culture as it "was only 200 years old", obviously you did not include the original custodians of the land OUR Aboriginals who were here 65,000 years ago. Have you ever done a bit of of bush walking and caving in Northern Australia? The evidence of this Aboriginal culture is well documented.

[leftcross]

i didnt pay a single satang. i made it clear from the very outset of the relationship that i would not pay a sinsod.

when it came down to meeting her parents the mum said 'we are not isaan we don't want a sinsod'. they are from the north.

her dad said that he expected me to look after his daughter for the rest of her life and that would be enough. he said to keep all of my money to help us start our life together as man and wife.

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

it is the completely wrong premise to start a marriage.

[meadish_sweetball]

i was fully prepared to walk away if they had insisted on it as i would not want to pay for a wife the same a man pays for a prostitute.

But it is not the same, and suggesting that it is, is the same as a Thai telling you Westerners are evil and do not love their parents because they put them away in retirement homes instead of having them live at home with the family, like anyone with a heart would.

Sin sod is not an Isaan tradition, it is just as common in Northern and Central Thailand.