hopdafru

I suspect Naam mis-read the post regarding sunee having a grid-tie system. He's usually pretty switched on on the matter of aircon

Whether an off-grid system of the same size would actually start a 9000 BTU aircon is debatable as even inverter units have a significant start surge.

This is why PV systems have batteries, which can start a car or a truck (big surge here); the possible fail-point is then the controller / inverter (the 'real inverter' which turns DC into AC if the AirCon is an AC unit). If you use DC + a DC compressor, the air-con plugs directly into the battery bank just like a car/truck starter. Has anyone on TV done this?

I'm using a 30amp off-grid system which has a max constant load of 30amp @ 12 or 24Volt (thus providing max 360 or 720 Wh from the controller; more if plugged directly into the battery bank). My main water pump (which gets the stuff 20 meters down) is powered by the PV/Battery system and it works great, although there is a definite surge each time one opens a water valve; using a water tank along with gravity reduces the multiple surge loads.

In my case, this off grid system is separate from the grid and powers 12V lighting, all my electronics, water pump and fans.

Re. Naam's post I was a bit surprised as well having read hundreds over the years ;-)

I use a grid tie system with 8 X 275 watt mono panels & a Fronious 2kw inverter. Installation is a piece of cake, mounting the panels might be the only difficulty depending on your roof. The panels cost 150,000 from the ABO guy in Chiang Mai 12 months ago, the inverter cost 15,000 on ebay. This is quality gear with a life expectancy of over 25 years so avoid cheap gear. Most of the day I'm producing around 1,700 watts this has halfed my electric bill & should drop to zero when I add a few more panels, I have 1 or 2 air conditioners running all day & night. Try to reduce your consumption using LED lighting & efficient inverter air cons & you should be fine. The ABO guy was very helpful. It's best to use a grid tie inverter as batteries are expensive & hassle.

Hi Sunee,

Thanks for the useful info, some comments on this thread do show that there is a lack of knowledge re. PV systems, and perhaps unrealistic expectations as well - PV indeed has various applications depending on ones needs, whether on/off grid or for people going camping etc.

Your Fronious inverter is indeed one of the best pieces of PV equipment out there, if you ever decide to go beyond the 2KW barrier, I'll be interested in buying it from you; let me know if /when that happens.

If you have a name/contact for ABO I'm interested as well, I'm having trouble getting a hold of quality panels here (in Laos) at a fair price ('broken' panels though are easy to get, great for camping / small application). Your advice re. avoiding the cheap stuff is spot on, the electronics used for inverters/controllers play an important role in maximizing power output / charging batteries / getting clean electricity etc.

@ MauroHKT: Sunee's system produces about 1700W per hour, not per day. It's like the difference between making $1700 per hour or per day... not the same thing! ;-)

FYI, this corresponds to about 15amps @ 220Volt and roughly 150amps @12 volts - his PV system probably runs at 24/48/96 volts DC to avoid high currents burning the cables.

Being grid-tied is really smart as one can then take a hot shower while the AC is running without shutting down the system, using more that a few KW at the same time is rare for almost everyone, but is sometimes needed (int the morning for example: hot water for coffee, hot shower, AC etc). The 'grid-tie sell back' system isn't much of an issue here in SEA unless the power company buys your extra KW back at a high price as in Germany ($0.20+ /KWh) - here in laos the first 25kwh cost 4THB each - it would take centuries to recoup the price of the extra solar panels... and it could be dangerous / illegal.

@naam Using A/C with 'inverter' technology, ie DC compressor turning at slow speed while not cooling (the compressor doesn't turn on/off all the time) is much more efficient and although more expensive to buy, they last longer and consume much less... 700w+ sounds about right for a 9000 BTU. There are also add-ons which enable the coolant to be super heated by the sun, making the cooling process even more efficient.

Look around / educate yourself before dismissing such interesting information for TV users as a 'joke'. We really don't need any more 'disinformation', there's enough of it out there already! - probably an honest 'mistake' though...

Sokh Dee Der...

Wow... yes PV can be a bit complex as there are many applications and ways of going about it.

I just 'installed' solar at home, it cost me $200 for:

1 used 120w solar panel

1 used 20 amp controller (240Watt @ 12Volt, 480W @ 24V)

1 new gel / deep cycle battery 50Amp Hour

This is a tiny system but In my case, when the power goes down (which it does several times a week), I have light on the patio and/or a working fan, really nice when it's Hot! (and it works several hours, enough to survive the blackout...)

Also, it powers my 50W pump + AirPump for my Aquaponics so the fish and plants stay happy!

I'm planning on running a dehumidifier / water evaporation cooling unit or a DC air con with solar hyper-heating device in the near future, depending on what's available at what price.

Re. cost, unless you get a great deal on panels ($3-20 per max watt, ie full sun) and especially gel batteries ($2 per amp-hour), it's still expensive and given the low prices of electricity here probably not economically viable (in Germany the KWh buy back price is 17 euro-cents I think, about $0.25)

Do consider though that prices are dropping very fast, flexible panels / thin film (which don't brake during transport and weigh considerably less than poly/mono glass panels) now cost $0.51 per watt (if you buy several kw...) - worth looking at... (even if they are only half as efficient as poly/mono but hey you'll add shade to your roof and reduce the dam_n heating of your house - and you just have to 'paste' them on the roof, just like like a sticker!)

http://www.solarserv...CFYtV4godACYA1g

Apparently Cambodia doesn't have an Ecuadorian embassy for him to flee to.

Assisting is an elastic term, but I think it includes an active assistance rather than a passive assistance. I don't think that governments knowingly and willingly allow illegal goods on the road, for example.

Elastic term indeed!

So, if I share a link to a page which has links or information pertaining to torrent files, then I'm assisting as well? What about journalists mentioning thepiratebay, torrentfreaks and other torrent search engines?

use the search function, read various threads and then forget about solar power to your home.

PV can indeed get expensive but for the occasional fai dam or small applications like RV, it's worth looking at:

I just bought over 300W of broken panels from a reseller who thought I was crazy to even ask. After looking around, he gave me a quote of $150 for about 10+ panels totaling 2000+W.

I went with a 200baht controller, 4 came out at 15-19V and I bought those for $40, I bought a 60amp gel battery and a 20 amp german made (used) charge controller.

I plugged everything back at home, I get up to 5 amps in full sunlight (instead of 8, considerably less than if the panels were new... but @ 10% of the price) and when the electricity is down, I can still watch TV or walk around at night for up to 2 hours straight.

Total cost: $200, thanks to a thread saying that panels break during transport and recommending to shop around.

I'm looking for more, so If any of you tries this in or around Udon/Nong Kai and there's more than what you need, please let me know, I'll buy the rest!

the swedish embassy in vientianne is already informed probably (Sokpaluang Rd. Quartier Wat Nak, Open Monday to Friday from 9:00 AM to 11:30 AM, Phone : +856 (021) 315003)

Hmmm... the Swedish embassy in Watnak, Vientiane closed in July 2009 as well as all NGO projects by SIDA (sweden based which among other projects built 25% of Lao roads) - Visa issues etc. are now handled by the French Embassy.

If the OP really want to pursue this he should contact the embassy in Bangkok, the ambassodor occasionally makes offical visits re. issues pertaining to Swedish citizens but has very little influence as they 'slammed the door upon leaving'.

Personnaly, I would proceed with caution as per post #7 and take into account that visitors to Lao who do not live nor communicate in Lao are expected by locals to act as visitors / tourists.

FYI there are no autopsies in Laos.

Sokh Dee Der.

It's also VERY hard to overcome 1st world retirement and money devaluation vs 3rd world inflation and stable currency. Over the last 20 years on a fixed retirement you would have lost 50 percent of your buying power, I see the exact same monetary policys that made it happen for the last 20 years still going on for the next 20.

So scary. It makes it very difficult to plan and budget for the future when one's income comes from one's home country. Like they all say, "I remember 10 years ago when ....." I think we all secretly wish for those days to come back, however a crash in Thailand or ASEAN does not sound fun at all.

So what can we do? Just try to save up a load of money and then some? Spend smarter (a.k.a. be a cheap-o)? Even Murgatroyd had it all planned out, his plan still backfired. So scary.

I think you raise a very good point, that comes up in many threads.

Retired westerners who move to developing countries to live more comfortably than back home (on a limited pension) should be prepared to relocate from time-to-time to less developed countries.

Otherwise, they must accept that the spending power of their money will decline over time.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

Correct, for ex. spending power in Laos has dropped more than 40% since 2008 for a European carrying Euros...big difference unless able to generate local currency!To Murgatroyd,I look forward to reading updates on your situation and changes you eventually make on the way.SokhDee!

sorry I'm having difficulties editing my post for readability... should be understandable though!

<p><p>Hi Irrigator,was away for a couple of weeks and now back...on the thread! comments/questions below:

</p>

</p></p>If your easier siphon is a piece of hose pipe over the edge beware !! The theory is they can work but the flow rates into a large bed means the water rises in the grow bed very slowly. If not sized perfectly for your flow rate then there is a good chance that the siphon simply runs at the same discharge as the incoming flow rate. That is why I use a BELL on top of my siphon in order for a much larger amount of water to enter the siphon and begin the siphon action as it accumalates at the restriction in the smaller pipe below.

<p></p></p>I'll be using a siphon with a bell but haven't yet figured out the sizing in regards to the GB, I guess I'll have to play around a bit and figure out the right flow for it to work 24/7. Using chops2 the fish will be safe!I just found a wood boat (the kind you see on the mekong) almost flat bottom and plan to use it as a grow bed, 4m+ long and about 40cm deep, it already has a hole in it and is about 50 years old so no worries for the wood, as long as it's level I hope it will do fine and not create anaerobic conditions... we'll see... it'll look good in the yard that's for sure.<p></p></p>There are differing schools of thought on the solids removal. If you let the solids get throught to the grow bed they could / will clog the grow bed very quickly unless you add worms as mineralization is a slow process and will not keep up with the rate of flow into the grow bed. Cleaning the gravel if you had solids build up would be a nightmare.

I don't like like nightmares so you're point strikes a cord and looks like I'll be adding some sort of filter (swirl or vertical filters) outside the FT.any recommendations keeping in mind the total height between the top of the FT and the floor is about 90cm and I have to fit filter + GB + sump tank! ?

<p>I personally prefer the UVI method by removing the solids before they get anywhere near the grow bed and then another foam filter just before the grow bed to catch anything that gets past the clarifier. The gravel does act as a filter, and a pretty good one at that which is why I really try to avoid getting solid waste into it. The water coming out of the grow bed to the recirculating tank is very clean (solids wise) so no need for addl filtering.

</p></p>UVI sounds best,I agree. I don't really get the complete idea of the clarifier yet (nor where to put it)! but I do plan to add lettuce on floating rafts at some point. I have 2 FT 1500 + 700 litres and can add more in the future. I'm not sure thought how to combine GB and rafts but I know it's been done before.

<p>We clean the solids out of the clarifier once a day by simply opening a valve on the side of it and that water can be sent wherever you want it for growing plants in normal soil. Every few days we do stop the system so that we can clean the pipes out and give the clarifier a bit of a scrub with a long handled brush, but this is infinitely easier than having to clean the gravel. One thing, my clarifier is not exactly the same as the UVI one.......it does have conical bottom section and our cleaning valve is connected to bottom of the cone. Above that it is pretty much a swirl filter (google it if you don't know what this is).

</p></p>Did you purchase the conical bottom or make it yourself? Is the clarifier after the filter or before?

Why would you want to send water from the recirc tank back to grow bed ? The water in the recirc tank should have been diluted of nutrients when it passed thru the grow bed and you need it to go back to the FT to pick up new nutes. Also you really need to make sure as much water as possible is being recirculted thru the FT. By returning the water to the FT thru a spray bar you are helping significantly with creating DO which is very difficult to maintain at the temperatures we get here in Thailand.

Got it,thanks a lot for the info!Sokh DeeRegards

</p>

if your wife stays in LOS for more than a year she will loose her GC. over time, if she doesn't spend 6 months per year on US soil she will loose it as well. I'm not sure what your plans are but thought I'd write about it.My friend used to have a GC and last year it was confiscated upon his return as he had left for too long.

Sokh Dee '-)

Rent a bike/notorbike drive along the mekong going west, up to 10km just gets better, villages and wats, don't be afraid of road construction in the middle. A few restaurantants alongthe mekong, higher standard @ Mekong Breeze, hotel restaurant with Mekong Patio in Ban Kao Liao, about 13km (you'll have to get off the mekong for a couple cliks but just ask everybody knows the place)

C.

PS: DonChan is close permanently

Rent a bike/notorbike drive along the mekong going west, up to 10km just gets better, villages and wats, don't be afraid of road construction in the middle.

C.

PS: DonChan is close permanently

+1 although I wonder if e.g. we should separate hydroponics/aquaculture from aquaponics as there is a very specific relationship between the fish and growbeds in the latter, I guess it depends on how many people will be posting re. the different subjects.

Sokhdee!

Always had money. Money wasn't so much the problem as career. If you let your professional career slip (however much you may hate it), then you're in trouble. A big gap in your CV is a difficult hole to plug.

This is very true when you are an employee but not so much so when an entrepreneur\self employed.

To the OP: after reading this thread my initial hunch is that life in the UK might be miserable far away from your family and the different culture you seem to have embraced (albeit not having learnt Thai which takes more motivation if your wife speaks english).

Going back to work endless night shifts might indeed generate much more monthly cash than you could get in LOS, but once you factor in cost of living, taxes etc. you will probably only be buying some time and IMO end up with about the same war chest you have now (traveling to the UK, finding a job and setting up your 'new' temporary life will have anon negligeable cost) AND be a few years older, unless very lucky.

You seem smart enough to start your own small business and close enough to your wife to put it under her name. I can share some of the things I did to avoid spoiling my war chest / life insurance and ending up broke in a few years. In your case you seem to need only a few hundred $ to make up the missing income for your visa and a bit more for health insuarance.

(As an example I have been buying and reselling cows a couple times going to some baan nork 50-100km away with $2000 in cash then reselling them in the city and making 300-400$ in one day, 1 small hyundai. All under my wifes name and with her family resources.)

Starting your own business always has its share of risk, but so does 'restarting' back in the UK, only you can estimate which is more, but I would strongly consider the various options (and the real impact of missing my wife everyday) after perhaps a small vacation and making sure you actually get a job shortly after landing in the UK. There must be some sort of competition in the UK even for night shifts, especially when over 50.

What is your objective in terms of finances to be comfortable coming back to your wife and step daughter, will you be living with friends/family to reduce living costs/augment real income etc...?

Just my 2 kip worth, ideas after all can be very powerful. Good luck to you, I hope the right path presents itself.

C.

To answer hopdafru,

1. There is no problem for the water to travel 7m provided you have run it thru a clarifier first.

2. I have my grow bed at the same level as the bottom of the FT (approx) but it is not essential. As long as you can get gravity flow from the clarifier to the GB then it is OK.

3. For grow beds, work with what is best for you. You can grow mutiple crops in a given bed...........I sized my bed based on the maximum potential output from the FT.

4. I started by just throwing in some tomato seeds and some coriander seeds .They do not need a lot of nutrients to get going and as the FT matures then so does the crop. You do have to allow a little time for the GB to nitrificate, which is important but after that go for it.

That all said.....I am based just outside Mahasarakam and would welcome any visitors. We do have an a/c guest room with private bathroom........ as long as you drink lots of beer...........

Cheers.....

Thanks again Irrigator, nice simple setup you seem to have back in Mahasarakam!

1. ok for the 7m as to the clarifier I'm a bit confused as the GB do all the filtering don't they? (filtering is essential for commercial systems like UVI or NFT) One advantage I see in using a clarifier is having more fish (or less GB) - perhaps using bamboo would get rid of some of the poo... Iooked online for some DIY clarifiers but it seems like a hassle... or could I just filter once in a while if the water isn't clear?

2, I'll have about 50-70cm height from FT to GB,not sure how to fit a clarifier but I'll keep the option in mind when I do the piping. can there be some filtering at the slump level or return to the FT?

3.I'll probably use IBT or plastic barrels for GB, I just found an easier DIY siphon so I don't mind so much about how many, but I am wondering about the size of the slump. If I have 1400l in the FT, I understand I should have about 2800l of GB (1/3 water 2/3 gravel) which would mean a 1000l slump according to another forum.

Also re. slump, CHOPS2 (a new popular system) pumps the water from the slump to each GB AND the FT at the same time. It seems your design pumps directly to the FT. would you change that if you just had to press a button to have it done? (the sequential pump I mentioned earlier has some nice features)

I'll look into more info about how to size my system, either based on FT or GB output....

I hope to get the system cycling in July with just a few plants and goldfish while away for 3 weeks, we'll see how it goes,it's noteven built yet!

thanks for sharing, cheers!

just came across this pump, sounds cool...

http://www.freshbynature.com.au/

any thoughts?

Irrigator, thanks for your reply, will get back to you after I get some sleep!

OZZY With all your experience you should give it a go. It's never too late for an old dog to learn new tricks. A plot of 40m x 40m and you could harvest 2000kilo per month + a truck load of lettuce/coriander/spring onions. If you PM me you can have the plans for free.

Bob ( another old dog @63+)

Hi Grimleybob,

I'd love to have a look at your plans if you don't mind sending them over!

Thanks

Irrigator, Can you confirm your figures as posted, I am having a problem with the 25 kg of mature fish per sq met.That is 80,000 Pla Nin to the Rai.

The industry norm is about 700gram per sq met in grow out ponds.I stretch the envelope a bit by growing 1.5 kg per sq met and have to do frequent part water changes plus run a 3hp aerator system at least 12 hours a day to keep mortality down and get reasonable growth rates.

If you can grow 25kg of Pla Nin per sq metre (50 x 500 gram) successfully then you have single handed solved the worlds food problems.and make me a rich man as it would increase my output to 13,000,000 baht minimum per annum. Thats right 13 million baht.

irrigator wrote 25kg per CUBIC meter / 1000 litres which sounds about right.

A figure i read recently was:

3kg of grown out fish per 100L of growbed media = 6 fish per 100L in the fish tank. which is about 20 percent more than irrigator and for a mature system. when starting or with a smaller GB, reduce the amount of fish

Some interesting stuff above and some a little mis-guided perhaps......Aquaponics is really simple and only requires a minimal amount of time each day to check on the pump(s) and clean the filter(s), however, it needs to be set up as an aquaponics system from the beginning.

About a year ago I built a 1.2m high, 4m dia tank out of blockwork ( 2 skins with a 100mm cavity that was filled with reinforced concrete), connected it to a 2m high x 1m dia clarifier (made from conc drainage rings) similar to the ones used by UVI, with a 100mm pvc pipe from under the centre of the fish tank. Water flows out of the top of the clarifier (at the same level as the water in the fish tank) into the grow bed. The grow bed is 9m x 4m x 0.25m high, concrete floor, blockwork walls, and filled with 20mm gravel from the local builders merchant. I have another foam filter that the water passes through just prior to it entering the grow bed.

At the side of the grow bed I installed a simple home made (from pvc pipe and fittings) bell siphon that discharges into another smaller concrete and blockwork tank ( 0.6m high x 3m dia ). Note, the bell siphon allows the grow bed to fill and then completely drain it in a continuous cycle.

In the drain tank there is a small 400 watt submersible pump that runs 24/7 discharging the water from the grow bed back into the fish tank (average cost per month about 600 baht, I think....). The return to the fish tank is suspended above the fish tank with holes in the pvc pipe that help provide aeration to the fish tank (I also have bubble aerators but am led to believe that these are not as efficient as disturbing the surface water with the water jets from the pumped return).

And it's as imple as that.....After you have the fish in the tank and have the system running it will take about 4-7 weeks for full nitrification to take place in the grow bed and then you can pretty much grow what you want.

Having said that, you will need to provide the fish with decent quality fish food (the stuff I use is for cat fish even though I have tilapia in the tank but the protein levels (30%) are higher than in what is locally available where I am).

On my first attempt I grew some tomatoes and some herbs. The herbs were perfect but the tomatoes did show some signs of nutrient deficiency, mainly iron and potassium but this can be rectified by adding small amounts of these chemicals without any affect on the fish.

Tomatoes are good because they take about the same time (around 5 months) to grow from seed as fish do to reach a saleable weight (500-600gms). I also used the mono sex tilapia from Nam Sai Farms on a ratio of 25kg per cu m of water (mature fish weight). Some will say this is a little high but I have not seen any problems yet......

As to whether or not this is commercially viable, the jury is still out......I would need a lot more tanks and grow beds to make a basic living out of it and it is relatively expensive to set up. The set up described above cost me about THB 40,000 but the structures will last for donkeys and the only thing I envisage changing from time to time will be the electric pump.

Regards

Irrigator, thanks for the detailed description of your system, I'm curious too as to where you are based... I'm in Vientiane.

I'm currently building a rectangular 1,400L fish tank (FT) out of concrete, setting up a double wall separated by foam with the hope that it will slow down temperature changes as I read Tilapia will suffer greatly / die from rapid temp changes (max 2C over 48 hours + temps vary 10-15C daily around here with concrete all around absorbing then emiting heat for several hours). I'll coat the inside of the FT with big white bathroom tiles to protect the water from the cement's action on PH.

Any thoughts? (Especially re. eventual toxicity of tile binding?)

The water will flow from the top of the tank (pickup at the bottom where the solids are) using gravity, and travel 7 meters to the grow bed(s) in the sunniest area of my 'yard', equiped with a siphon for the continuous drain cycle.

I'll use a slump/drain from witch I'll pump the water back to the FT. My pump is a sinkable chinese made 375 Watt 1500 L/hour (Note: the FT is 60cm above ground and 1+ meter high, any issue here? the water will be pumped 2 approx. meters high )

A few questions:

- do you see any big disadvantaged in the water travelling to the GB'S 7 meters away?

- can the bottom of the GB's will be at the same height as the bottom of the FT or should it be the slump/frain?

- should I use multiple grow beds or can I just make a big one (say about 4-5 sqm as to only use one siphon to save costs/work?)

- what crop too start with when cycling, approx how much time or event before adding fish?

- what best crops to plant around august/september in Issaan/ Laos?

- I'll be using Tilapia, any other species you would recommend? (I'd love to use trout in the winter... 2-3 months)

Any input much apreciated!

Chris

Hi!

This thread has been going for a while and I'm wondering if there are any members currently experiencing with either backyard or commercial aquaponics? (there seems to be someone in KohTao who went commercial)

I'm currently looking at starting a 1000 litre “Constant Height One Pump” (CHOP) system + growbeds as a first phase before eventually building a commercial system based on UVI (mentioned above) but scaled at 25-50 percent its size.

It looks like at 25 percent scaling, the UVI system should generate 15k US$ net over a year (after expenses, using renewable electricity) growing essentially lettuce and Tilapia.

looking forward to hearing from TV members who are working with this, thanks!

not sure this is the one but it gives an idea...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuG4msyQz3Q

so many bizarrely personal revelations.

..

When I see half a dozen members opening up in a quasi Oprah Winfrey way about

Sounds like you think it's inappropriate for people to express their innermost feelings to complete strangers.

Actually perfectly normal and very healthy; being in a relatively anonymous environment makes it that much easier.

In an ideal world we'd all have people we could be completely open with in real life as well, but sadly enough that's often not the case.

Not inappropriate at all: just another sympton of the disconnected world we live in where some people feel more comfortable expressing deeply personal problems to strangers rather than addressing it to the proper person - his wife.

Let's face it: the OP has previous form with this type of thread. Wasn't it thequietman who was complaining he can't find a friend recently?

This from a guy who has a hissy fit about me saying he only posted on here to piss people off and then complains and has a post removed. As I always say, TV is a fun and informative outlet. If posters want to blow some steam off then so be it. It made me feel better and I got some good advice. The problem is sorted now. Just miscomunication on both our parts.

You sir are a very angry and dare I say it, lonely person. It might just do you some good to communicate your frustrations, even little ones. we dont know you so we wont judge (the opposite of yourself) Someone has to have done something really bad to you previously , to be this bitter and condesending towards strangers. christ I fear to think what you are like in real life. Have a nice day and stop being so negative..

I'm not sure about thequietman's motives but this thread has surely been very interesting,,, 170+ interactions! time to go sleep now, noon laap fan dee!

Ten years is a long time to have invested in a relationship thequietman. If you love your wife still and want to be with her, ten years is too long a time to just walk away without giving it 100% effort.

Even if you don't agree with some of the posters point of view in this thread, or perhaps the way some of the posters express their point of view, the underlying sentiments of a few of them hold true.

Setting boundaries.

Respect in your relationship.

Communication with your partner.

From your past posts I believe you might be a fairly mild mannered type of guy, maybe not very assertive and who likes to avoid confrontation where necessary? I apologise If I have misread things.

It seems like you really need to push the boundaries. Why would you walk away unless you have really had the issue out with her? The land might be in her name but the circumstances where you funded the land and fund her lifestyle should entitle you to have equal say in what happens on the land. Forget about all the face thing and put yourself first. Not your wife, or her son, or the village etcetera, just yourself.

If your wife cant or wont respect your wishes and things don't work out then then the old addage about plenty of fish in the sea holds true.

I hope it works out okay for you.

Bookman, great respectful analysis!

Sokh Dee

For some..."sorry" really is an impossibility.

I pity such people. Mostly.

I'm struggling to understand why people think the lady in question has to say sorry for using land she owns in anyway she wants, without being forced into another use simply because a farang voluntarily decided to support her and her son.

The way I read it , it was because the "farang, as you put it) has some foresight and would like to make provisions for their son's university fees in 7 years time!

Quite commendable in my books!

yes, this is the one and only reason. Rather prepare now for his future, she will expect me to shell out the money in 7 years time. I have told her numerous times that I must have 400,000 baht in the bank in order to stay here. It doesnt seem to register with her at all. Many thais are not aware of the hoops we must jump through just to stay here.

I bought her the ground and as such it is both our ground. Not legally I know but decisions on its use should be up to both of us as a unit. All I want to do is to use it to generate funds for the sons university. What is wrong with that ? If it comes to it, I will walk away from everything. I dont care if half the house is legally mine, I dont want it.

I know a couple guys being walked all over by their wife because they want to do the right thing for their couple/family/child. although I understand the commend-ability of it, it saddens me to see them suffer on a daily basis and quite frankly it gets boring after a while (eg the wife sold the car to buy a smaller one and kept the change / took a loan against the house etc...)

I think maintaining mutual respect is really important and if it means taking off for a while as suggested in a previous thread it might provide the necessary 'jolt'. Maintaining the status quo leads nowhere nor does fear of loss. Just my 2 kip as I also occasionally find myself in these particular cross cultural situations involving wife and her family (I live with both). The 'minute' I get moved around I make sure I apply whatever correction is needed (it might take a day or two for me to figure it all out ;-) I try do do so with jokes when possible and without overreacting though being firm), this has worked well so far (3+ years).

One guy I know is in a similar situation (more desperate it seems), but loves his son dearly and for this 'one and only reason' takes a daily dose of crap in his face, has been like this for years and very difficult to change. I don't know your particular situation but it would be interesting to see if a change of behavior in relationship to your wife/family on your part could help you attain your objectives. It might take some time though depending on how many years of 'bad habbits'... could be worth it, or not, that's up to you.

Good luck!

PS: re.the money it's yours not hers and we are almost always seen as richer no matter what, so thai/lao/XYZ wives don't register... of course!

Based on this recent thread http://www.thaivisa....long-stay-visa/ would seem you ought to get married first.

A few things to consider according to my understanding (I live in Laos):-

getting married in Laos is not an easy matter. it takes 6-12 months and costs at least $1500-2000.

There is a heavy fine if your you have a child together before marriage... several thousands.-

once married in Lao, you need a government authorization to take your wife out of the country (this was true 3-4 years ago and may have changed)-

be aware that dual citizenship is against Lao law-

if you get married outside Lao and the government is aware of it, your wife may encounter problems when/if she returns.-

being married to a Lao citizen doesn't give you the right of residence

Of course there are work-arounds to all this but it requires a very good understanding of the Lao way...

Finally, Lao people like to stay together in 'tribes', being away from the family can be very difficult. Where is she from? (province / district, closest town)Good Luck!