b17

Is this what we call the "new" normal? A guy who wants to track all female's menstrual cycles, has a thing for couches and dolphins, and feels that people without children are sociopaths. Try again.

The most surprising thing for me are the obvious differences that exist regarding the socialization of children - my brother in law's two boys have NEVER done five seconds of housework in their lives, and they are adept at watching me, their older uncle, struggle with multiple bags of groceries when I return from a shopping excursion to 'Big C' or 'Tops'. Never have I heard an offer of help, and now accept that as an unfortunate reality of their upbringing. On the other hand, women growing up in Thailand are fully expected to help out in every possible way and are scolded if they refuse. This has created a race of arrogant, lazy, and childish boys and dutiful, but frustrated, young women, who long to break the shackles of their slavish existences. I'm also surprised by how cold it gets up here in the north.

Trump was NOT a successful President for even five seconds. He is a grifter, a convicted felon, a narcissist, a serial adulterer, a psychopath and a convicted rapist, but he was definitely not successful for the US. As a matter of fact, most Presidential historians rate his presidency as the WORST IN US history.

LOSER I WON I WON I WON I WON! I won I won I won! I won I won I won I won! This race is far from done. . I WON I WON I WON I WON! I’ll tweet it like a scream And if I tweet it very loud I’ll wake from this bad dream. . Sniffle. . Remember, folks, not long ago? My rallies proud and large? The swarm of fans who risked their lives So I could stay in charge? . They cheered me like a deity No masks to block their cries They clapped and roared and loved me As I superspread my lies. . The fake news said I would not win — They’re always, always wrong — The only way that I could lose Was if the count went wrong. . And when the early tally came I really did quite well! But then the votes for Joe rolled in — As fraudulent as hell. . I bellowed: We must stop the count! The count’s a giant scam! I’m still the chosen president I AM I AM I AM. . But still the count kept going And it did not go my way In Michigan, Wisconsin Even down in red G-A. . The libs praised Stacey Abrams And her leftist voter pack No way I’d be defeated By some women?! And they’re Black?!! . Sniff. . To prove that I’m the winner And the leader of this land I headed to my golf course With my putter in my hand. . I rode there in my motorcade Fans cheered me on my path I wore my all-white MAGA hat I tried to hide my wrath. . And when the networks called it — When they said Joe Biden’s name — I felt a chilling, red-hot rage But kept on with my game. . Folks partied in the streets, I heard, Some broke into a dance They cheered for Joe in Germany The church bells rang in France. . Libs cried “The emp’r has no clothes!” Some sang, “The witch is dead!” But I? I golfed on bravely And I covered up my dread. . They honked their silly, lib’rl horns But here’s what made me gag — The sight of all those Democrats Who waved our country’s flag. . Now Rudy and my lawyers Figure out what we should do There’s really just one answer — It’s to sue and sue and sue. . Concession is for losers And for those who don’t mind pain For victims, wimps and Democrats And guys like John McCain. . Sniff. Don’t get me started on Arizona. . Some say I’m throwing tantrums That I’m just a bratty boy A kid who’s starved for mommy’s love So won’t give up his toy. . Some say I’m Putin’s puppet In some giant Russian plot To undermine democracy I tell you I AM NOT! . But strongmen are my biggest fans — Like Obrador and Xi — They won’t acknowledge Biden yet — Their bets are still on me. . We manly men love macho guys And women love us too! And what could be more manly Than a good old-fashioned coup? . Chortles. . I think back on the past four years By God it’s been a trip I tore this land to shreds so fast Like flimsy paper — rip! . I never was a leader But I surely was The Boss I turned your fears to hatred Fed my ego with your loss. . And still I seed your minds with fear I plant the rot of doubt And if I tweet lies loud enough I’ll never get kicked out. . The GOP still backs my play They know I hold the ace: They cross me and I’ll tweet it — I’ll divorce them from my base. . Yet Sleepy Joe and Kamala Now act like king and queen They’re even taking credit For my miracle vaccine! . I WON I WON I WON I DID! You know what else is swell? Inauguration Day is booked At my D.C. hotel. . And if things go against me Well, of course, I just might flee Or maybe I can get a job As host on “Jeopardy?” mschmich@chicagotribune.com