Bangel72

Is your agreement legal? Were you charging interest, anything above 15%? Why did you lend them, what was your motivation? Now if your a kind soul just helping someone out a lawyer can drop them a letter indicating action, not sure what action is possible or whether you can legally now report them for theft if they are in breach of contract but it can go with a lot of loss of face for the person. I doubt police would act depending on the amount. Could them being publicly dishonest and in effect stealing money damage their business or relationships that they value, loss of face and a compromise payment agreement might work. The reputation angle is likely the only one without going a bit darker. I've been that kind soul recently knowing its a pretty good chance I was just being a mug but they also have business reputation to protect that would cost more than repayment. Different story if it turns out they cannot afford to pay, in thailand so called friends hounding friends to pay back money they know they cannot afford is pretty nasty, often better to just walk away or lower yourself and sell that kind soul of yours.

"wifes mother died and left the kids with a load of debt", curious about this one as I understand it inherited debt max's at the estates value so if no estate left then no inherited debt. It still feels like an inherited debt of course. Now I'm wondering if life insurance of ex going to the kid is considered part of the estate? Loan shark debt though a very different matter.

One side thought, could she be lending to the others that she plays cards with? Within the card groups there can often be one or two that always lose, that the others are inadvertently feeding on their addiction. Enabling others like this to destroy their lives whilst less damaging for your family is also a destructive behavior, worse if she is charging them interest. She may be able to talk about this as likely she will see no harm in this even if the there are illegal interest rates she will believe she is helping them despite it being a criminal offence that could come back and impact your family in the future, in addition to contributing to destroying someone else's.

I've been through this and it has not ended well so far and I am fully expecting the ticking time bomb to explode so much so that I am looking to buy her life insurance with my sons name on it. This may sound extreme but I assure you its not. First starting point, its fairly clear she has an addiction and not just a desire to play cards. Treat this addiction as you would a crack cocaine addict because its at the same level, it needs mental and emotional treatment or it will get worse. Like any addictions its a waste of energy helping someone who will not admit they have a problem but there are some numbers available online to get her at least talking to someone she may listen to. Some of these pass them on to line help groups, the number of people on these help groups in no doubt staggering. She will not get better on her own, her brain no longer thinks logically or sensibly in relation to this so it is almost futile to try and have a sensible discussion. At one point she will likely hit rock bottom and agree to get help, its a lie, you'll bail her out and within a few weeks she will be going a bit deeper, this will be rinse and repeat behavior if you allow it. Your case could be lucky if there is no loss of money involved so maybe it is not entirely family and life losing impact yet but signs are maybe there so you need to act now. Get all house, bank account and other things into a safe place she cannot easily access without a co-signature. My case went from cards, to football, to lotto to online casinos to stealing from friends, giving away land paper, loan sharks, threats, violence, greedy friends lending for high interest feeding her habit, threats, separation and me trying to get my son safe. Without my son it would have been an easy gtf out of their, that the tough part. Even having lost everything she will still gamble given half a chance. Leaving a bank card on a table or safely in a drawer is the same as leaving a bag of coke out for a drug addict, they have zero control or logic and lie to themselves so much they have zero chance of telling anyone else the truth. Let me know if you find a good source for help, rehabs still seem a luxury here and still only designed at those who want to change.