Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE
ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS
WILL BE TAKEN.
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT
AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
.
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T
KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE
FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL
YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON
THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife
And Daughter
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to
Run Down Jaywalkers
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian
Takes Over
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
It May Last Awhile
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for
Larger Test Group
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
********************************************************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
**********************************************************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
***********************************************************************************************
And the winner is...
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead