Zyxel

A horse and a chicken were playing in a meadow. The horse fell into a mud pool and began to sink. The horse called to the chicken to go and get help from the farmer. The chicken ran to the farm but the farmer was nowhere to be found, and so she drove the farmer's BMW back to the mud pool and tied a length rope around the bumper. She then threw the other end of the rope to her friend and drove the car forward, saving the horse from his muddy demise. The next day, the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken called to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "There's no time! I have another idea - I think I can stand over the pool!" So he stretched over the width of the pool and said, "Grab my dick and pull yourself up!" The chicken did so and the horse pulled her to safety. The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

A guy in a $300,000 McLaren is breezing through a school zone, ignoring all the posted signs, when a cop pulls him over. Exasperated, he rolls his eyes at the cop and says, “look, I’m very busy with things you couldn’t possibly understand. What did I supposedly do anyway, Mack?” The cop says “well among other things you didn’t stop at that stop sign back there.” “oh cmon. Maybe I didn’t stop but I slowed down, what’s the difference? Can your little brain comprehend that?” The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts smacking the side and hood of the car. He says to the driver, “now… do you want me to SLOW DOWN, or do you want me to STOP?”

A 92 year old man went to the doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asked the man how he was feeling, and the 92 year old said, “Things are great, and I’ve never felt better!” “I now have a 20 year old bride who is pregnant with my child.” “What do you think about that, doc?” The doctor considered the question for a minute, and then began to tell a story. “I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.” “One day he was setting off to go hunting, but being a bit absent minded, he accidentally forgot to take his ammunition.” “As he neared a lake, he came across a very nice beaver frolicking at the water’s edge.” “By now, he realized he had left his ammo at home, and so, he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature.” “Nonetheless, he lifted his favorite hunting rifle, aimed down the sites, and yelled ‘bang bang’.” “Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver was slain.” “Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor. The elder man scratched his chin thoughtfully, then said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.” The doctor nodded, “My thoughts exactly.”