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PattayaOneTeam
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Above Bawd in Pattaya
Eating Cow Placenta, Dogs and Other Dodgy Food
Mesmerised by the prospect of more tasty Thai food tips, I went back to the Secrets threads: “What's for Breakfast?”, “Rats - would you eat one!” and : “Has Anyone Been To Isaan & Tried Dog Meat....?”
Having read them about rat-eating, I knew there was more meat on these particular bones.
Pumpuynarak's fine words served as an excellent starter for cultural differences about food sources. What's one man's poison is another man's delight. What you eat varies the world over. It's driven by all sorts of factors, money, custom and most of the time because it's just bloody tasty and cheap.
There are some things I eat that wifey finds “uhhh”, and she's used to eating snakes, rats, lizards, frogs, insects (deep fried of course).
David K set the bar high with this delectable tale of the unusual (or is it?): I was in my wife's village once, and their cow gave birth, and the villagers were eating the “aftermath" of the birth. Jelly and blood sort of stuff. Apparently they boiled it and then drank the blood and ate the jelly stuff and intestines. This so called delicacy was for breakfast and enjoyed by all and sundry.
I could not stomach the sight, let alone eat it when offered. I took off, much to the amusement and laughter of the locals.
Jamilv brought food very much back to earth (as opposed to birth) with: I've had snake for breakfast before, but from the texture you don't really notice..its like eel…
At least the snake was dead. LionKing said: I was once with a Thai girl who caught some small crabs (in the sea) she said to me "you can" and started pulling their legs off and eating them.
Moving on to dogs, Dom666 asked if anyone has been to Sakhon Nakhon and tried the dog meat? I don't want to try it but I'm curious. Can anyone share their experiences.... was the dog slaughtered in front of you? Was it BBQ'd, seasoned and what did it taste like…? [more…]
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-- Pattaya One 2010-12-23
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No have power?
Some energizers can help you
keep going and going and…
Does your favourite teeluk bitch about your waning vigour? Do you often lack the energy to pull yourself out of bed or off the bar stool? Has your get-up-and-go got up and gone?
You're not alone. As people approach the half-century mark, the aging process has a depleting effect on energy levels. And getting up into our 50s, 60s and beyond, absolute power declines absolutely. It often seems that no matter how appealing that new golf course is or how tempting those young go-go girls are, you just can't get it up (energy, that is).
But take heart. There are several things you can do to return swagger your step... [more…]
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-- Pattaya One 2010-12-22
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Leg Letch
One of the, many, beautiful things I admire about Thai ladies is their silky skin. One reason their skin is so soft and smooth is because they usually have virtually hairless bodies. But I have noticed that some women, even young girls, do have very hairy legs, albeit usually fine hairs. Is it frowned upon in Thailand for those particular girls to get rid of unsightly leg hairs? If some girls do elect to lose the hair, what method do they use (razors, leg wax, electrolysis)?
Uriah Heep
Looking at ladies legs certainly beats train spotting. Thai ladies often do have leg hair but, as you said, it is usually fine so they consider it unnecessary to remove. Those who do, employ different methods according to financial resources. Wealthy ladies, including those with a farang dosh-dispenser, will of course go for a more expensive method, such as electrolysis, laser or waxing, and probably in a highly expensive beauty treatment centre. For the normal Thai girl, the old fashioned razor method, applied in her bathroom, is sufficient for her legs, and pubes if she so fancies and has a steady hand. Thai women rarely receive any complaints about being hairy; well, not on the legs anyway. [more…]
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-- Pattaya One 2010-12-21
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Letters to the Editor
The Girls on the Beach
Sir,
I've just come back from my second trip to Pattaya in five years. You ask for letters. I've got a question about the nightlife - the girls on Beach Road on the game. I noticed loads more of them this time. Some not bad looking ones either.
Are they safe? I mean like diseases? Or underage? Do the coppers try to sting you with them? What happens if you pull a ladyboy by mistake when you're drunk?
Do you have any answers?
Thanks
Allen Stephens (never tried it - yet).
The girls on the beach, they're all within reach as the Beach Boys song said. There are many misconceptions about the girls who sit around like ladies who lunch. Yes, there are many attractive looking ladies and yes, there are a lot more females (and some of indeterminate gender) than perhaps ever before plying a short time trade by way of their transient office on Beach Road.
Diseases? No more so than anywhere else. Underage? You betcha. And these should be avoided like the plague, simply because you are a perfect target for a setup. Plenty of guys take the risk thinking “I won't get caught,” but every time you play out of the legal age range the chances of being nailed narrow, and you'll need a decent amount of wedge to avoid playing bend over and fetch the soap in a Thai jail.
If you happen upon a ladyboy by mistake while inebriated the chances are Khun Wishididnthaveaknob will have your wallet and other valuable away before you can squeal “nuts to this.”
There are plenty of people who do their bedtime trawling along the Beach Road promenade and report no problems at all. But then they tend to be wiser and warier than the two-week millionaire with a wallet load of personality and the look of a deer in the headlights. The old Latin phrase caveat emptor should not only be the mantra on Beach Road but in the nightclubs and discos of Walking Street and elsewhere as well. After all, it's not as if the girls on the beach can't wander wherever they please in search of prey. [more...]
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-- Pattaya One 2010-12-20
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PP
Pattaya's High Season
Anyone gleefully knocking nails into the Pattaya tourism industry's coffin should not be surprised to see the lid blasting off this high season.
I have been astonished by the explosion in tourism numbers in the town over the past couple of months, as the Asian (Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean and Japanese) tour group industry picks up again.
Parts of Pattaya increasingly resemble Dubai, with the huge numbers of Arab tourists here, and the Indian tourist trade remains very strong. I have been told by an Arab friend in Oman that it is hard to find availability in the preferred Arab hotels in Pattaya this high season.
Add the resurgent Russian numbers and the return of many US, Antipodean and European visitors, for whom the exchange rates of old are now a distant memory, and you have a city which has yet again risen from the ashes, following the Bangkok troubles earlier this year.
It is also interesting to see the way these higher tourist numbers slowly but solidly change the economic and real estate base of the city.
The number of Russian-owned and Russian-oriented businesses around Pattaya increase by the week, and Russians working in the real estate, food & beverage, and tourism industry are increasingly renting apartments longer-term or buying cheaper units. There are also many new developments marketing strongly to Russian buyers.
Arabs are increasingly changing the tourist landscape here.
For the first time ever I saw a sign on Walking Street (pictured) exclusively in Arabic, advertising a club/disco (in the Clube Boesche complex). I took a look, but it wasn't my cup of tea, a load of Arab guys, high-energy dancing together in a pack and shouting, throwing their hands up in the air. But it was harmless enough, and a sign that Pattaya is slowly changing to reflect the interests and money of the new tourist groups. […more]
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-- Pattaya One 2010-12-19
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Stabbing season has arrived, if it ever really left
While police forces and governments may try to curb the availability of AK-47 assault rifles, shotguns, pistols and hand grenades, it's a difficult task keeping the average person from being able to wander around with a sharp knife, of whatever length.
That being the case, it's probably no real surprise that each year the number of news stories involving people getting sliced and diced or merely stuck somewhat painfully, with a sharp knife are legion.
Not the brothers Karamazov
What can be upsetting is when sibling rivalry is mixed with a liberal amount of alcoholic refreshments, sexy female is thrown into the pot, and someone has a knife.
Two South Korean men, who turned out to be brothers, were arrested by police after being injured in a fight over a woman at a karaoke bar in North Pattaya. The two men, one aged 31, the other 38, apparently became enamoured with the same short-skirted and flirtatious hostess employed by the karaoke bar. After having ingested enough alcohol to keep a distillery in profit for a few years, the brothers began arguing with each other over who would obtain the affections of the desired female.
The argument turned from simply arguing with each other while increasingly slurring their words to something more physical when the elder sibling produced a knife and stabbed his younger brother in the arm. Fortunately for the younger man the wound was not serious.
Naturally, the management of the karaoke bar took a dim view of customers using the cutlery to take a slice of fresh meat from the bone, and not paying for it as well as leaving nasty bloodstains on the polished tiles, so they called the constabulary. […more]
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-- Pattaya One 2010-12-18
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Historical Feature
Photograph purporting to be the a Naga queen proved a brilliant exercise in how to market a myth
Sometime in the late 1990s street vendors and shop owners all over Thailand began displaying and selling an impressive photograph which described the capture of a mythical Naga by men of a United States military unit operating at the Mekong River during the Vietnam War.
The Naga is a serpent, or water spirit, steeped in Buddhist mythology. Carvings in stone and wood can be seen in many Buddhist temples all over Thailand. Nagas are believed to inhabit the murkier reaches of the Mekong River as mythology suggests this is where the centre of the kingdom of the Nagas is located. Every year, in late October or early November, people gather along the shores of the Mekong to watch a phenomenon called the Naga fireballs. Many locals believe the fireballs are caused by lurking but unseen Nagas.
The caption on the photograph was intended, of course, to convey a statement of either incontrovertible or difficult to ascertain fact. It read, in poor English: 'Queen of Nagas seized by American army at Mekhong River, Laos Military Base on June 27, 1973 with the length of 7.80 metres.'
Rumours quickly spread that the American soldiers seen holding the Naga all died after eating the flesh of the dead creature. Another rumour claimed the plane carrying the carcass of the dead Naga back to the United States crashed.
It wasn't long before the photograph could be found hanging on the walls of guesthouses, small-scale hotels, noodle shops and ordinary homes as well as being offered for sale to gullible tourists and even more gullible locals. Just who first found the photograph and hit upon the idea to market it in the fashion they did has never been discovered.
Suspicious
Naturally enough it wasn't long before some people became sceptical about the photograph, doubting its authenticity and believing it to be a good example of the art of photo manipulation. In fact, the suspicion regarding the photograph was wrong on one count, but correct on another.
The date and location of the alleged capture of the Naga were immediately suspicious to anyone with a reasonable working knowledge of the United States involvement in the Vietnam War as it pertains to Thailand and Laos.
The Paris Peace Accords had been signed in January 1973 and by March that year all US combat forces had been removed from Vietnam. There were no US Marine Corps personnel north of the Sattahip naval base at that time, and the closest bases with US troops were in Udon Thani and Nakhon Phanom. There had never been a US military base on the Laotian side of the Mekong, although the base at Nakhon Phanom in the extreme north-east was just across the Mekong from Laos. Known as the 'City of Hills' the Americans nicknamed it 'Naked Fanny' because it was so close to Laos. They called it 'the worst base we had in Thailand, but the best one we had in Vietnam'.
Some sceptics pointed out US forces had not been issued with the style of brown t-shirts shown being worn by the soldiers in the photograph as early as 1973. The background of the picture clearly shows a secure military base with aluminium fencing topped by barbed wire with a US Navy sailor in a white cap.
Reality
The real story behind the photograph is far more prosaic. First of all, the photograph is indeed genuine, but is of an oarfish, a creature rarely found alive and rarely seen. The precise photograph of the oarfish being passed off as a Naga was first published in an issue of an American magazine called Ocean Realm in late 1996. The same picture was reproduced again in the April 1997 edition of the US Naval publication All Hands.
In an article written by William Leo Smith for Ocean Realm, he stated instructors with the US Navy SEALS had found the body of an oarfish measuring almost eight metres in length washed up on the shore at place called Coronado in California while they were out for a morning jog.
The Navy 'notified the Birch Aquarium at Scripps Institution of Oceanography [who sent three people] to the Naval Special Warfare Command…' They looked at the specimen, took a few photos in situ on the beach and interviewed the SEAL instructors who found the fish. The scientists could not find any 'obvious reasons for death…Externally, the fish had a few large gashes on its right side…behind the head, and a noticeable piece of the forehead had been removed as well.' They surmised the oarfish's '…wounds were caused by a propeller of some sort.'
The body of the oarfish was brought back to the Naval Special Warfare Command base where it was washed off and pictures were taken of the 100 kilogram-plus creature, 'with different Navy personnel.'
The article noted, 'Oarfish tend to be more tropical species…However, they are found worldwide…predominantly in the tropics.' Little is known about the oarfish although it is known they are not good for eating. Some scientists baked a piece of the fish and said it shrank a lot and tasted like fibrous paper.
Local ingenuity, a dash of the mystical and eerie, and some clever marketing all combined to create one of the most recognisable pictures of late twentieth century Thailand.
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-- Pattaya One 2010-12-14
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Nightmarch
By Duncan Stearn
Covering the cracks during a crackdown: For much of the first part of the high season the bars of Fun Town, be they go-go's, coyote dens, or nightclubs have been subjected to one of those periodic and ultimately pointless crackdowns by the men in brown. It began with joints having to close their doors by 3:00am and then this was reefed back to 2:00am, probably affecting the financial bottom line of more nightclubs than anyone else. Why do they do it? Probably the same answer you would get if you could ask a dog why it licks its balls: “because I can.”
Not quite Mission Impossible: People of a certain age may recall the start of each episode of the US television series Mission: Impossible where actor Peter Graves, as Jim Phelps, would find himself a tape recording in some obscure location and listen to it to find out his next assignment. “Good day Mr Phelps, here is a photo of The Office go-go bar in Soi LK Metro. It has failed in many previous incarnations, but the new management appears to have half an idea of what is needed to be successful. However, for some reason they are missing that little incentive to turn it into a proper theme bar that will make it a place to visit. Your mission Jim is to infiltrate the bar with your team and start making sensible suggestions to improve the joint. As usual should you or any of your team be caught, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.”
So, what would Phelps and his team suggest? The draft amber fluid prices are reasonable with Heineken at 70 baht and Tiger 60 baht; the aural stimulation is average, no better or worse than many other similar joints. The lighting is a bit on the dark side, which hides a multitude of sins, but again, this is not really a negative. The failure is in the theme. The service girls are really quite fetching in their pin-stripe short skirts and jackets, so that side of the theme idea works well. It's the attire of the dancing damsels where the theme unravels. Some of the dancers wear a see-through white shirt and a couple even add a tie as well to the ensemble, so at least that's partially in keeping with the theme. Unfortunately, it is let down by having the rest decked out in the standard g-string. With a little bit more thought and effort it surely wouldn't take much to attire the 20-25 dancers they have in a sexy office-girl look that would, I'm almost certain, be appreciated by revellers and make a change from almost every other den in Fun Town.
Nabokov would be mightily impressed: Just next door to The Office go-go is the Lolita's gentleman's (and others) one-eyed trouser snake handshake lounge. If there is a more plushly decorated boozing establishment in Pattaya I'm yet to find it. Libations start at around 60 baht, there is a pool table in the middle of the open ground floor (no charge for customers), but off to the side is a more enclosed area for punters who may wish to chat in a more intimate manner with any of the dozen or more damsels employed in Lolita's. To get a load off your tiny mind with a lady prepared to talk in tongues is 700 baht, or 1,000 baht for a short-term bout of horizontal mattress dancing.
A victim of its own success? The recent raid on the Champagne go-go bar in Soi LK Metro where an undercover foreign operative was used to take a willing dancing damsel upstairs to ostensibly engage in a cavity inspection for monetary reward raises a few questions. Question one: why Champagne? Answer: It's foreign owned (it is extremely rare for a Thai-run operation to ever be targeted by the plod for an action of this nature). Question two: why Champagne? Answer: It's proved to be an extremely successful go-go bar and is probably making a lot of money, and there are jealous people who would like to see some of the profits re-distributed into their pockets. Question three: why Champagne? Answer: their name came out of the 'we need to look as though we're tough on prostitution' hat. Next week it will be someone else, but only if it's foreign-owned and making money.
Open, closed, changed, raided, and different: The moveable feast that is the nightlife scene of Fun Town is constantly in a state of flux with places opening and closing, sometimes faster than anyone can keep up with. In recent times, for example, we have seen the long-running Paris go-go in Soi Diamond close, change hands, re-open under the same name and now it has been re-badged as Atlantis. Re-arranging the deckchairs on the Titanic is a phrase that comes to mind.
The opening of the Alcatraz go-go on Walking Street proper was delayed during November (the actual opening date escapes me), but Fahrenheit did open to less than universal acclaim. I'm told it's owned by the same crew who has the Tiger and Shark dens, so expect a big bite in terms of booze prices.
The re-opened Carousel go-go in Soi Diamond was another place subjected to a raid by the plod and it has suffered since then while Lucifer's, the head-bangers club on Walking Street also had a visit from the peelers.
Further afield the struggling First bar in Soi 8 is apparently going to return to its go-go format at the end of November (after the deadline for copy for this edition of Pattaya One). Once again I am reminded of deckchairs and the Titanic.
Congratulations are in order for the Classroom go-go in Pattayaland Soi 2, which turned 17 on 1 December. Although not in its original home, it is still in the same soi and when it opened in December 1993 in a single narrow shophouse, it quickly became one of the most popular dens in Fun Town. The original owners have long gone but Scott, the English manager has remained on deck throughout all the ups and downs of relocating, refurbishing and competing in an increasingly tough and expanding market. While it is no longer anywhere near as popular as in its heyday, Classroom has a loyal following built up over those 17 years, and much of it I'm sure has to do with Scott, who is probably now the longest serving manager of any den in Pattaya. Maybe a special medal needs to be struck to honour this long service.
So much more than a cover for your beer: One of the advertisements in Pattaya One is for Coaster Candy, which sounds a little like something you would offer schoolchildren as they wander out the front gate after class. In fact, they are a potentially great personalized advertisement for any boozer or noshery which uses drinks coasters because customers are more than likely to pinch them as souvenirs. Light, portable and memorable: imagine Harold, sitting at home in his bungalow in Shellow Bowels, as he lifts a lager to his parched lips from his go-go bar coaster. He's not thinking of the joy of the amber froth, he's being reminded of the contortions number 69 from the Shagalots den performed on his prostrate form during his two-week holiday in Fun Town.
I'm told by the people who operate Coaster Candy that a couple of Russians made contact and for some reason thought they could order a couple of willing East European damsels to come to their room for a quick lie down in exchange for monetary reward. Naturally, they weren't interested in ordering a suitcase full of coasters. Such can be the problems with language.
A new record, maybe? Congratulations to Lanky Yank Stan and Woolly Welsh Colin who celebrated an amazing 22 years at the same location in mid-November. The couple run the Cheers beer, but not a hostess in sight, bar on Pattayaland Soi 2. Over the years the pair have built up a pretty loyal following of expats and regulars, and I've no doubt it is this custom that has kept them afloat in recent years as times have become so much tougher.
Piece of Pith: Three stages to life in Thailand: 1.Thailand is paradise, the people are wonderful, everything is perfect. Disillusion sets in and then you hit stage 2. Thailand is awful, Thai people are horrible, it's a hell on earth. Finally stage 3, which some people never reach: Thailand is just a place, like any other, with good and bad people like everywhere else. (Found on a Thai web forum)
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-- Pattaya One 2010-12-13
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Postcard From Bangkok
By Stickman
The furious trade Bangkok's Insomnia is doing at the weekend is not mirrored on weeknights. Open less than a month, many of us are picking that it will ultimately attract a similar crowd to the Pattaya branch. Many club-goers decry the 100 baht entry fee to Thai women - which is 300 baht to everyone else - claiming that this is no real deterrent in keeping out what some of them consider undesirables.
The sois and sub-sois of the expat enclave, Sukhumvit Road, have made for a variety of backdrops for the filming of Hangover 2 to include Sukhumvit Soi 7/1 and Soi Cowboy. Bar owners have been playing the one-upmanship game, telling anyone who cares to listen how much they were paid for allowing their bar to be used, or how much they received in compensation for lost business while closed. 60,000 baht was the actual fee paid to most venues, despite claims from some of receiving many times that amount!
Should you invite a guest to join you at the Nana Hotel, to enjoy a movie on TV or perhaps admire the period architecture, don't take it personally if your invitation is declined. Ghost stories abound amongst ladies familiar with the 43-year old landmark after a Brit and his lovely companion, a former Shark Bar employee, checked in to the hotel, but never checked out. A third companion, also a Thai lady, made it out of the hotel but was later found dead. It is speculated that they had consumed a new drug known locally as “super ice”.
Popular Nana Plaza bar Spanky's have some fabulous new shows, so exciting in fact that one customer had a heart attack in the bar and despite frantic efforts to get him medical attention, he was pronounced dead before he reached hospital.
And in a week when it looked like Westerners in Bangkok would become a threatened species, a Canadian found out that abusing bar security staff results in a single outcome. Security in that bar summoned the cavalry, security from other bars in the same group. Khun Canuck's lack of manners was considered serious enough to warrant a vicious beating. Security from other venues outside the group witnessed what was going on and intervened to help the bloodied Canuck. As is often the case, the beating had overstepped the mark. Despite their timely intervention, the fell-mouthed Canuck staggered away much worse for wear.
Gerry Finnegan has opened a second Irish pub, Finnegan's 2, located beside Exchange Tower and attached to Asoke Suites at Sukhumvit soi 18. Official opening is set for December 4th.
Marc of Spanky's Bar has picked up DC 10, one of the last few original-style gogo bars left in Nana Plaza. He has plans to renovate it with the interior being remodeled to look like the interior of a jet liner. It should reopen before Christmas. Some long-time Bangkok residents lament the venue's theme change, arguing that there is a niche for the older style, seedier bars. Truth be told, such venues don't do so well these days and struggle to compete with the bigger, brighter, more modern venues. Its transformation means just Sexy Night in Nana and just a few other old-style venues scattered around Patpong and Cowboy remain.
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-- Pattaya One 2010-12-12
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Pattaya One Rainbow
Counting The Pattaya Blessings
By James Barnes
That eminent American social scribe and confirmed bachelor, Eric Hoffer, once said, 'The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.' He obviously never visited Pattaya. Here, no complex calculation is required to tot up the countless blessings that are abundantly bestowed upon the gay man who has chosen to make his home or holiday in the city. Pattaya is now on the brink of another high season, enjoying the most pleasant weather of its year and full of optimism about the fresh influx of cash happy tourists who will check in, while the home countries of its visitors are mostly mired in the cold and miserably bleak desperation of winter. They are suffering the onslaught of commercial overkill promising the fake and ersatz spirit of Christmas past with unhappy family reunions and worrying about how to pay the fuel bills and service the credit cards.
The warm sea breeze that blows reassuringly through Pattaya is more than enough to sweep away the chill wind memories of home. The elegant and graceful palm trees that fringe pools and Dong Tan beach are so much more appealing than those naked winter branches back in London, Hamburg, Chicago or wherever. The sizzling and smoking street food stimulates the senses and puts no stress on the wallet. Pennies for a baht bus or a motorcycle taxi will deliver you to your chosen department of heaven. A stroll through Boyztown, Sunee Plaza or Jomtien Complex offers no end of neon buzzing gay entertainment, brilliant bars, sensational shows, rafts of restaurants, marvellous massage et al. Their host of handsome young touts all offering the sort of temptations it would be patently churlish to refuse and that have a unique Pattaya style that has no comparison, let alone equal, back home.
Back home, hordes of grim faced commuters are braving their cold, dark morning, cold, dark evening commutes to and from the insecurities of employment in jobs that they would rather not do but are desperate not to lose. Here you are in Pattaya. Feeling smug? Enjoy it. You have earned it. You deserve it. However, the biggest and best blessing of all is free and available to all in Pattaya with just one small qualification. Try it out. Next time you are bouncing in the back of a baht bus along with a handsome young Thai guy; or pass some sexily lithe hunk on the street or beach, just smile. Look him in the eyes and smile. The open, million dollar, Hollywood beam that is returned to you in a flash of brilliant white teeth is devoid of inhibition or reserve. Now that's a blessing that you can count on.
James Barnes is editor-in-chief of OUT in Thailand Magazine.
GAYMARCH
Jomtien Complex, a collection of three sois off Thappraya Road, opposite the Hanuman Statue, is home to more than twenty gay and gay friendly businesses, including host bars, cabaret shows, massage venues and several fine dining choices. You won't find go-go bars here. However, many find the Complex a laid back and sophisticated alternative to Boyz Town or Sunee Plaza. One of the more popular clubs in Jomtien Complex is The Venue, a large, beautiful night club offering three nightly cabaret shows, showcasing good-looking guys and glamorous ladyboys in stunning costumes and featuring Broadway show tunes, as well as hosting special tributes and theme nights. The Venue also offers guest rooms at attractive prices. Ganymede is a Greek themed host bar and guest house, across from the Pagoda Restaurant. You'll love the Greek gods (the ones on the walls, as well as the ones serving you). Rumor has it that they'll soon be adding a karaoke and sauna to their facility. SugarNSpice, next door to Ganymede, replaced the ladies with guys recently.
Jomtien Complex offers several beer bars/massage parlors. The ever popular Question Mark has just expanded and taken over the former girlie bar next door. Next door to Question Mark is Two Faces, which offers breakfast and sandwiches, along with booze, boys and massage. Several other beer and massage options include Festival Boy Club and Duo House. These are located near the popular eatery, Dick's Café.
Derby Men's Club, also adjacent to Dick's, offers steam, sauna, exercise equipment and, of course, boy massage. For a 'legitimate' massage, try the Thai Blind Massage Institute, on the same soi as Ganymede.
If you're hungry, there are lots of places to sate your appetite. Delicious meals can be enjoyed at Poseidon (same management as Casa Pascal), which is also a guest house. Aquarius, L'Arc and Pagoda also offer delicious dining choices. Da Claudio, which just reopened, serves tasty Italian fare. L'Olivier has a set menu and a salad and appetizer bar. ANTZ offers delicious Thai food at very reasonable prices; and of course, there's the aforementioned Dick's, for food, drinks, coffee and people watching.
Not far, on Jomtien Beach, is The Bondi Beach Bar. The Bondi boasts a contemporary lounge with lots of cute waiter/hosts, has musical entertainment at night, as well as a monthly Quiz Night. They also have reasonably priced guest rooms. Around the corner is Bamboo Bar, which seems to have been around forever; and is a popular place to stop for a beer and a boy after an afternoon at the beach.
TAKE CARE!!, the volunteer organization that distributes free 'safer sex' packs to bars and other gay venues throughout Pattaya, will be having a gala fundraiser at Cafe Royale in Boyz Town on Thursday 9th December. They'll be celebrating six years of continuous service to the gay community. Dr. Philippe Seur, of Heart 2000, will be guest of honor. Entertainment will include the popular EL DUO and 'B-BOYS' dancers. Dinner will be available for 750 baht, 250 of which will go to TAKE CARE!! The volunteer group will also get a cut of all drinks sold. Advance booking is recommended.
DAVID, a new go-go emporium, on Pattayaland Soi 1, has opened up in the former Star Boys. The transvestite boss, from Bangkok, has done a great job refurnishing and decorating. There's comfortable, sofa seating and a big stage in the front. More than twenty hunky Davids were on display. Nonalcoholic drinks went for 120 baht; while the inebriating types were 160. Give it a try.
Lots of stuff is planned at KRAZY DRAGON male table top dancing den of iniquity in Sunee Plaza. They'll be turning on the Christmas lights on 15 December and have Christmas and New Years parties planned for 24 and 31 December.
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-- Pattaya One 2011-12-11
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A Fool In Paradise
Is that a Zebra Crossing?
Has anyone else noticed the subtle changes being made to Pattaya's road systems? No, I don't mean those well thought out improvements making the roads more efficient and less congested, I mean those making the traffic system a little more confusing. Beach Road, Second Road and South Pattaya Road, to name but a few, have been blessed with the installation of new zebra crossings, complete with pedestrian-friendly flashing amber lights, warning signs and panic buttons. One may conclude this is a good idea and an improvement to road safety, but I am not convinced Pattaya's motoring public are ready for this totally foreign concept.
In my book Money Number One I gave the warning: “In most Western countries, a pedestrian crossing means the pedestrian has right-of-way and vehicles must stop. However, without mentioning any names, in some countries pedestrian crossings are only there because, once the workers marking the lanes had finished, there were several gallons of paint left over. Rather than waste it, they got the idea of painting zebra crossings across the road just like the pictures in foreign magazines. You could find yourself severely dead if you believe that any vehicle will stop for you at a pedestrian/zebra crossing in Pattaya.”
I formed that opinion back in 1999 and the crossings I was referring to were those along Pattaya Second Road, particularly the one near Mike's Shopping Mall. To confirm that little had changed over the past decade and the danger still existed, I checked out some recent comments sent to the Bangkok Post. Hua Hin Paul wrote, “about the dangers of pedestrian crossings in Bangkok. Thai drivers, including police, have absolutely no respect for pedestrians. Daily I witness near-tragedies, as drivers zip across pedestrian crossings even with signs asking them to stop for pedestrians and plastic policemen emphasising the point. These crossings indicate the safest place of the road for a pedestrian to cross. But in fact they are the deadliest.”
Sukit Bejrsuwana said, “My dangerous crossing is in front of the national police headquarters. Each time I feel like a wildebeest making my way across the crocodile-infested Mara River. Once you step onto the zebra lines, the buses, motorcycle taxis and vans seem intent on pouncing. The false sense of security provided by the crossings is bad enough for locals, but imagine what happens to naive tourists from lands where they mean safe passage.”
That last writer hit the nail on the head. Consider a small child on a beach, playing and paddling in the shallow water. He is instinctively afraid to go out any deeper because he suspects it is dangerous. His mother comes along and places an air-inflated flotation ring around his torso and declares he is now safe from drowning. With his confidence rising, the boy gradually heads out into deeper and deeper water, gets swept away by a tidal rip and eaten by a shark. He took a risk due to the false sense of security provided by his mother.
The problem with pedestrian crossings stems from a lack of driver education. I don't drive in Thailand so I don't have a Thai driver's licence, but I have expat friends who do. I asked a motoring mate if any question regarding the rules relating to pedestrian crossings was asked on the written test he took to obtain his licence. He gave me a wink and said he couldn't remember. Oh, it's like that, is it?
Let me tell you what I remember of Zebra Crossings in Australia. Just as a cathedral or monastery provided sanctuary for someone running from the law back in the Dark Ages, the Zebra Crossing was a safe haven for hapless pedestrians. They were the holiest of holies, the most sacred of sacred sites and a place not to be taken lightly.
Prisoner A: “What are you in for?”
Prisoner B: “A double murder and half a dozen rapes. I'm serving twenty-five to life. What are you in for?”
Prisoner A: “I got life without parole. I failed to stop at a pedestrian crossing and almost hit an old lady.”
Prisoner B: “You sick bastard! Guard! Guard! I'd like to be moved to another cell!”
In Australia, a driver must come to a complete stop whenever a pedestrian puts so much as a little toe on the crossing. Even if the pedestrian stands on the footpath and looks like there is a chance he is thinking about possibly making a motion to cross the street at some point in the future, the motoring enthusiast must bring his vehicle to a complete stop. And it doesn't matter what side of the street the pedestrian is crossing from. A friend of mine was once fined and publicly humiliated for not stopping at a crossing. He was driving in the outside lane of a four-lane divided highway. The median strip was the width of a basketball court and grandmother touched her walking stick to bitumen on the far side of the road. She was a full three traffic lanes and a basketball court away, and you almost needed binoculars to see her. When he tried to explain this to the promotion-hunting, power-hungry PC Plod who pulled him over, my friend got the old line: “I don't make the laws, you godless perp, I just enforce them.”
But pedestrians don't get it all their own way. The Road Rules state that “A pedestrian must not cross a road, or part of a road, within 20 metres of a crossing on the road, except at the crossing.” Basically, if there is a pedestrian crossing nearby you are supposed to use it to cross the street. If you jaywalk within 20 metres of a zebra crossing you are open game for PC Plod or a fed up motorist bent on revenge.
In Pattaya, foreign licence holders already know these rules so the success or otherwise of zebra crossings will depend upon the action of traffic police in educating Thai drivers. I fear that simply saying “Paint it and they will stop,” is a recipe for disaster.
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-- Pattaya One 2011-12-10
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How to beat a Buyer's Market
By Tim Gladwin, Managing Director of Sallmanns
It should be news to no-one that the Pattaya real estate market has been relatively quiet since the start of the global economic downturn. One of the main reasons is that, notwithstanding recent increased interest in the market from, typically Bangkok-based Thai buyers, much of the money that has driven the market to grow very significantly over the last decade or so has originated from overseas. The fact that the effects of the economic crisis have been particularly severe in the West has for the time being reduced the amount of money being invested in Thai property by foreign buyers.
One obvious consequence of there being fewer buyers around is that sellers of properties face more competition. In other words it is a buyers' market. The most obvious way to compete with other sellers is on price and those sellers who are most motivated to sell have been reducing the prices of their properties, making for some very attractive deals for opportunistic purchasers over recent months. However, in a buyers' market, an attractive price is not always enough.
We deal with a surprisingly large number of sellers who try to sell houses/condos that they have allowed to get into a really bad state. In some cases, the properties have clearly not even been cleaned for a long time. Paintwork, both exterior and interior, is flaking off and badly stained. If there is any furniture, it is generally old and falling apart. In a market such as the one with which we are currently faced, for such a property to have any chance whatsoever of being sold, the asking price would have to be so low as to be simply unrealistic.
I understand that some sellers do not have the money to undertake significant improvements to properties they are looking to sell. That said, I have a hard time believing that they can't find themselves a mop, a bucket and a duster. However, for those who do have the ability to finance a little more, there are various improvements that can be made that have the ability both to make a house a great deal more sellable (in this or any other market) and also, typically, to increase the value and likely selling price of the property by more than the cost of the work.
In this regard, the best example, over and above a good clean, tends to be painting both the interior and exterior of a house that looks run down. If you know where to look, the cost of paint and capable painters here in Pattaya can be extremely reasonable. For example, when I painted the outside of my house (shortly after buying it) the total cost was in the region of 30,000 Baht for a very good job. And it positively transformed the place appearance-wise. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the value of the house increased by several times more than the 30,000 Baht I spent. Moreover, an ugly looking house, by reason of the previous colour scheme, became a very attractive one almost overnight. I see an awful lot of properties for sale where the same effect could be achieved by a similar exercise.
For those who have the ability to spend a little bit more, there is also no doubt that “dressing” a property nicely can make it hugely more interesting to a majority of buyers. It is for this very reason that property developers spend an awful lot of time and money making their show units as beautiful as possible. Buyers are, to a very large extent, motivated by aesthetic appearance. More often than not they buy on the basis of the way something looks rather than the way something could look, and they often pay a premium for properties that look particularly nice.
Accordingly, taking the time or, alternatively, employing a specialist to decorate and furnish the inside of your property can regularly pay dividends, again both in terms of attracting a buyer (or a tenant) and in terms of the purchase price (or rent) that you will be able to achieve. Speaking from experience, the houses and condos that we have decorated and furnished for our clients have undoubtedly fared well in both the sales and rental markets such that the clients in question certainly consider that the cost, which need not be a particularly large amount, has been money well spent.
Clearly there are countless other areas in which you can consider undertaking home improvements and most of them, assuming they are done properly, will make your property more sellable. That said, not all of them will increase the value of your property by as much as or more than the cost of the work. A good example tends to be replacing windows for, say, UPVC double glazing. It definitely benefits the property and will make it more attractive to buyers, but it is rare that the cost will be fully reflected in the increased value of the house. In most cases, the same can be said for the installation of new bathrooms and kitchens, although it is worth bearing in mind that it is often said that houses are most commonly sold by their bathrooms and kitchens.
Here in Thailand, bearing in mind the hot, sunny climate, there are a couple of home improvements that can be undertaken that suit the environment and thus tend to make a house a great deal more sellable and also more valuable. Firstly, assuming you have the space, it tends to be a good idea to install a private swimming pool. The dream of lots of prospective purchasers (and tenants) from overseas is to own a house with its own pool. Without one, you tend to limit the number of people who would be interested in your house. Moreover, with it being possible to build a nice, good quality 8 x 4 metre pool for around 500,000 Baht, the cost and usually a little more can generally be recovered by way of the increased value of the property.
Secondly, installing solar panels can attract prospective purchasers who are concerned about reducing their so-called “carbon footprint”. Increasingly, individuals everywhere are becoming more and more concerned with environmental issues. Offering a house for sale that is considered to be “green” is not only socially responsible, but it differentiates a property from others that prospective purchasers might also be considering. This is one of the reasons why we (at Sallmanns) have recently partnered with Thailand's leading authority on solar power. By installing on-grid systems you can generate and sell electricity to the Provincial Electricity Authority for which you will typically be paid a little more than 10% of the cost of the equipment each year (for example a system costing around 350,000 Baht will normally generate roughly 35,000 Bahts' worth of electricity each year). Bearing in mind that panels come with 20 to 25 year warranties, not only are the panels environmentally friendly, they also make exceptionally good financial sense.
If you have any questions or queries in relation to the above, or if you would like to discuss any other matters related to the local real estate market, please call me on 087 137 0392 or email me at [email protected].
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-- Pattaya One 2011-12-09
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Traffic Bind
Sir,
I live on the Dark Side and have watched with amusement and not some annoyance at the antics of the local authorities when it comes to the traffic lights and crossings at the railway road.
When they first opened the two roads you might recall they were both two-way, but this wasn't going to work and they changed them to one-way. Good move. Then the geniuses in charge turned on the traffic lights and what ensued was instant gridlock. Traffic was banked back in every direction along roads like Ngern Plub Wan, Kow Noi and Khao Talo.
Finally, I guess a lot of people complained and they turned the lights off and traffic seemed to move OK, apart from the real morning and night peak hours. A couple of weeks ago I read or heard a news report saying the traffic lights would be turned on again because the clowns in charge of traffic had worked out a way that these lights would be able to turn green when enough cars had collected behind them. Smart lights, but not so smart local authorities. Most people, Thai and foreign, that I speak to who live on the Dark Side reckon these smart lights will not solve a thing and traffic will only be worse.
I noticed they turned the lights on at Khao Talo, but turned them off again after the usual bank-ups and hold-ups occurred. You'd think they'd have learnt the first time. They didn't and now the lights seem to be turned on at a whim.
Is there any way of letting the local government know the whole idea of turning these lights on will just be a disaster?
Bill Reynolds,
by email
Dear Bill,
You don't say where on the Dark Side (East Pattaya) you live, but we will presume it's one of the three sois you mention in your letter. We are aware the new traffic light system has been activated at the intersections south of Soi Khao Talo. These roads tend to be less busy in terms of traffic coming from east to west and west to east, so tailbacks shouldn't be a problem.
You are certainly right about the main sois such as Khao Talo, Kow Noi, Ngern Plub Wan and Siam Country Club where traffic heading east to west and west to east is as heavy, if not heavier than the numbers going south or north.
Accidents certainly occur at these intersections, although given the volume of traffic going through them it's not excessive. Most people, both foreigners and Thais, who use these roads regularly appear to drive through the intersections fairly sensibly. Unfortunately, there are always morons who can't seem to think beyond their own desires to get wherever they want to go as fast as possible and with as little inconvenience. Then again, you see them driving or riding like idiots whether it's on a small side soi, the railway roads or Sukhumvit Road.
Pattaya One agrees with you that turning the traffic lights on at the intersections you mention will probably only make things worse. What's really required, and does happen on occasions, is that Highway Patrol police are stationed at these roads to control traffic flow for a couple of hours in the morning and again for a couple of hours in the evening. We will pass on your thoughts to the relevant authorities, but don't hold your breath.
What's the number?
Sir,
Is it only me or have others noticed the amazing number of cars and motorbikes driving around Pattaya without a number plate? This is not a few isolated instances. I have seen far more than should ever be allowed and I always think to myself 'what are these people up to?' The police seem concerned with nabbing people without helmets, but only at certain times of the month or certain times of the day and cars can just breeze by with no rear or even front number plate and nothing happens. According to my insurance company they said if I was involved in an accident and the driver of the other vehicle didn't stop and I could not identify the vehicle then all costs are down to me. So maybe these people without number plates know this and figure they can get away with it and if they do have an accident they'll just drive off.
I have been driving in Thailand for over eight years and lived in Pattaya now for the last five and I never noticed much of this until the last year or so. There was even one I saw the other day without plates on the front or back.
George Jones,
by email
Dear George,
Pattaya One thinks you are quite right as we have certainly noticed a lot of cars and motorbikes on the roads not sporting number plates. It is completely illegal but no real action appears to be taking place to rectify or stop the practice.
Lights of a Different Shade
Sir,
I want to complain about the new traffic lights in Pattaya, and to tell you about my using four sets of them today.
The first ones I tried to cross near South Pattaya market, were broken, and changed automatically, giving cars only 10 seconds to pass, before changing to 20 seconds for pedestrians, even when there weren't any pedestrians crossing.
No wonder nobody stops for them.
The lights outside Central, on Second Road, in spite of having a huge picture of a grinning city official on them were broken when I tried to use them, so I had to take my life in my hands and cross Second Road as usual.
The ones I used on Pattaya Beach Road, OK, they worked, but nobody stops at them, so what's the point of having them?
In Jomtien I was amused to see two City flunkies waving oversize hankies at cars to make them stop at the red lights at the bottom of Soi 5. I suppose it's better than having people being killed by drivers who don't stop, but is it efficient use of manpower, to have 2 people for one crossing?
Surely the idea is to have NO people and all the cars stop.
How much was spent on these lights? And how many work?
Also, shouldn't the police be staking out these lights and fining drivers who don't stop. Or is there no money in it as the wealthy drivers (foreigners) mostly do stop but I notice it is mostly Thais who drive right through them even when people are crossing.
It seems a nice little earner for the police, and here they would be performing an important public service in making sure drivers stop at red lights, and tourists and residents can cross the city's roads safely, if they hand out massive fines to light-jumping drivers and motorbike riders.
Maybe they will eventually catch on to this new income stream - only after somebody is killed.
Yours sincerely
Andy from Birmingham.
Dear Andy,
It seems anything to do with regulating roads and traffic is a major concern with people, given the content of some of the other letters we have received in recent times.
The idea of the pedestrian lights was a good one, in principle. The main Beach and Second Roads do not have any pedestrian overpasses and there is simply no way any driver will ever stop at a pedestrian crossing, so a light system was introduced. Interestingly, you are right about foreign drivers stopping and many Thais simply ignoring the things and many people are saying as you have, it will only be a matter of time before someone is either killed or injured while legally crossing at the lights.
Sad to say, it's yet another good idea poorly implemented.
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-- Pattaya One 2011-12-08
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Wai? Don't Ask, Just Do It
Spell Healthy with a Wai
Wash, wai and quit whining. That's our formula for staying healthy this cold and flu season.
As high season unfolds, Pattaya welcomes tens of thousands of visitors escaping frigid climes and bleak skies. Not so welcome here is the concomitant outbreak of seasonal colds, influenza and pneumonia.
Coincidence? I don't think so.
While ailments such as the flu and pneumonia usually are regarded as merely temporary nuisances, they can be life threatening to Pattaya's older expat community. In fact, they are two of the leading causes of death among those older than 50, and pose particular risk for anyone with heart, lung or kidney disease, not to mention HIV.
Odds are you will come down with a cold or the flu sometime in the next month or so. But you can beat the odds. How? Wash, wai and quit whining. That is to say, wash your hands frequently, wai others instead of shaking hands, and swap your complaints for a positive attitude.
Granted, vaccinations provide your best chance to prevent the flu as well as pneumonia. Most people can benefit from such periodic immunization, but it is crucial for those in high risk groups--older people and those with chronic ailments.
However, with or without those injections, you can do wonders to avoid seasonal illness by bolstering your immune system and adopting healthy personal habits. That begins with a diet consisting of lots of fruits and vegetables, limited saturated fats, and vitamin supplements--as well as daily exercise. And it ends with keeping your hands free of germs and your mind free of negativity.
Hand washing is the single most important step in preventing the spread of diseases. We use our hands much more frequently than we realize, and they come into contact with millions of germs a day. When an infected person coughs or sneezes, droplets laden with bacteria or viruses spread onto the hands or to nearby surfaces; these germs can remain active anywhere from two to 48 hours. You have no idea that you've been contaminated when you touch that doorknob, that menu, that extended hand.
That's why it is so important to wash your hands frequently--before and after preparing and/or eating food; after using the toilet; after blowing your nose, coughing, or sneezing; after touching an animal or animal waste; after handling garbage, and before and after treating a cut. And it is equally important to wash properly: Use warm water (not cold or hot) and soap. Work up lather on both sides of your hands, your wrists, between your fingers, around and under your nails. Wash for about 15 to 20 seconds (sing 'Happy Birthday' twice). Then rinse and dry well with a clean towel. If soap and water are unavailable, use an alcohol-based hand rub.
Finally, take heart. Cold and flu germs have a harder time taking hold in people who have a positive outlook. You no doubt know that anger or stress can cause ill health. Inversely, positive thoughts play a key role in your health and immunity. Not only can upbeat thinking help you steer clear of sickness, but it can also make your symptoms milder should you forget to wash your hands and then come down with something.
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-- Pattaya One 2011-12-07
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Kris and Noi's Private Posts
Mea Culpa?
Being fairly new to Thailand, I have become an avid--if new-- reader of your very helpful column, and pleased that it has re-appeared in this new publication. My problem, because I know so little about Thais and nothing of the Thai language, has to do with my Thai girlfriend--or “wife” as Noi prefers to call herself, though we are only living together. So, acceding to Noi's wishes, I call her my wife (mia) in the presence of family and Thai friends. But a couple days ago Noi got all bent out of shape during a family gathering when I called to her across the room, “Mia Noi.” First she went into a tantrum, then went all silent and hasn't talked to me since. What did I do wrong?
H. Peesauce
More than a few married Thai men have a regular lady on hand for extramarital nooky. Unlike Western men, they do not appear to make any effort to hide their presence; in fact, the way these ladies are flaunted by wealthy, influential men at parties and official functions, it would seem to be de riguer to have “Supporting a regular totty” listed on a man's CV. Such a kept lady is known as a mia noi--meaning minor wife. So your Miss Noi would have been mortified when you implied to her family and friends that, instead of being your beloved, she was in fact just the farang's bit of spare. However, profuse apologies, an explanation of your mistake and, most importantly, a decent gift, will no doubt restore your relationship. And call her faen instead of mia; less chance of confusion. Thanks for the nice words about the column, as well as the tittersome tale.
Bar Room Boors
My husband and I enjoy Pattaya's night life atmosphere, and make regular visits to bars. He chats with his friends, and I talk with the girls in the bar, who are very nice with me. I have got to know several of them very well, and I make no comments about their chosen way of life; we just have a good natter and a laugh. But I do think that the attitude of some, not all, expats, towards the girls is awful. They talk rudely to them, grope girls as they try to walk past, and talk about the girls' looks as though they were buying farm stock. They like to call the girls stupid, whereas I think it is them who show their ignorance.
Leanne Perrins
Most expats treat the girls in a decent, friendly manner, but there are also some out and out tossers amongst the punters. However, the girls mostly know how to put up with their slobbery and ill-manners, and can handle it well enough--and probably get their revenge with a less than stellar performance when hitting the mattress. The girls may be uneducated, but are often smarter than some customers; the dumbest acts you will witness in a bar are almost always performed by expats.
BY THE NUMBERS
25 billion baht, the estimated value of exports from the Thailand border crossing of Mae Sot into the town of Myawaddy and beyond in Burma in 2009. In July 2010 the Burmese government closed the border crossing.
700 the approximate number of African elephant tusks seized by customs officials at Suvarnabhumi airport in the six months from February to July 2010. The Director of the Customs Department claimed the value of the seized tusks was around three billion baht. He stated the value of all elephant tusks confiscated in 2009 amounted to around 65 million baht. Since 2006 Thailand has been on a watch list of countries that the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (a mouthful thankfully better known simply as Cites) believes is engaged in the illegal wildlife trade. According to some sources, a pair of intact and complete tusks can be worth anywhere from 300,000 to 500,000 baht. The only problem is that to get a set intact, the elephant has to be deceased.
9,000 the number of M-60 machine gun rounds discovered 'missing' from the Army Ordnance Department compound in Lopburi in early September. Also missing were 10 RPG-2 rockets. Although a lowly sergeant and three civilians were arrested in connection with the missing weaponry no-one really knows just who stole it or where it's all gone. We will have to wait for the next big bang to get an idea of just who had the deadly material away.
22 the world ranking of the Royal Thai Navy's aircraft carrier HTMS Chakri Naruebet in terms of size. It is acknowledged as the smallest operational aircraft carrier in the world weighing in at just 11,400 tons. There are currently nine navies with 22 operational aircraft carriers. Naturally, the United States with 11 carriers heads the list. Some unkind souls have suggested the HTMS Chakri Naruebet, built in Spain, commissioned in 1997 and based at Sattahip, was a waste of money, when everyone knows it's a symbol of might and power and gives a bunch of Vice and Rear Admirals something to crow about.
25,000 the estimated number of troops who make up the United Wa State Army (UWSA) fighting the Burmese government just across the northern Thai border in the Golden Triangle region. The UWSA is a known illicit drug producer and considered a bane for Thailand because of the amount of illicit drugs trafficked into the Kingdom.
3,000 cubic metres of water per second, the acknowledged capacity of the Chao Phraya River. In 2006, heavy rains sent an average of 4,000 cubic metres per second down the river, causing it to burst its banks and flood the central plains. The heavy rains of 2010 apparently reached a similar figure of 4,000 cubic metres of water per second. That's one speedy water slide ride.
77 the number of provinces in Thailand. The latest addition to the provincial numbers occurred in August 2010 when Bung Kan, an area of 4,300 square kilometres containing a population of around 400,000 people in the Mekong-flanked province of Nong Khai, was officially created. Consisting of eight former districts of Nong Khai, one of the districts was known as Bueng Kan. This particular district had previously been known as Chaiburi when it was part of the province of Nakhon Phanom. In 1917 Chaiburi was moved into the province of Nong Khai. The district was then re-named Bueng Kan in 1939. If this new province was a person, all this moving about and name changing over the years would be enough to appear suspicious.
42 million people, the estimated number of people claimed to have travelled through Suvarnabhumi Airport in 2010. The director of the airport, Nirun Teeranatsin, has said he intends to develop the facility to the extent that it will eventually be rated among the top 10 in the world.
The first item on the race to the top 10 agenda appears to be a strategy of calling Suvarnabhumi the 'Airport of Smile'. According to some unkind reports the strategy is working well as a singular smile is about the best you will get, especially in the Customs queue. We are not sure of the truth of the rumour that when it was pointed out to a senior official that the correct English should read 'Airport of Smiles' he nodded knowingly, smiled, just once, and then curtly pointed out he knew precisely what the difference between 'smile' and 'smiles' happened to be.
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-- Pattaya One 2011-12-06
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Pattaya Focus on……
Thappraya Road Tourism
Some cynical readers have suggested there has been a hint of irony or even sarcasm in these features on the glories of Thappraya Road. Not a bit of it, I assure you. Who could fail to be impressed with the remarkable job being done on it.
Alas, however, it's time to bid our farewells to Thappraya Road and to revisit it in a few months time, to check on progress.
But as we're coming up to high season I thought I would try to accentuate the positive about the road, and its 'in-progress” nature, so as not to deter potential visiting tourists from the city, and to show dumbstruck tourists already here that there can be upsides to downsides.
So, with that in mind, let's take a fresh look at the state of Thappraya Road and its marketing potential.
I think Pattaya tourist chiefs could advertise Adventure Holidays in Pattaya, roping in thrill-seekers young and old, with just a bit of creative thinking.
For people who want to drive all-terrain four wheel vehicles or off-road motorbikes, at dangerous speeds, why not market the Thappraya Road Trail as a holiday activity.
For urban trekkers, the many inhospitable landscapes of Thappraya Road would make for great adventures. And while the adults are out trekking, their children can play hide and seek and perilously explore the nearby road detritus.
Caving could be a winner with some of the many underground chambers exposed to the inquisitive: Or how about promoting the new urban sport of pavement slalom, with this example (of the many) pavement obstacle courses:
We could also promote nature rambles in the central reservation jungle, or on the yet-to-be pavemented roadside tracks.
Or take a restful rural walk along the site of the old pavement, which is now a Depression-era sized dust bowl.
Or you could try your luck fishing in this example of the many stagnant, deep water pits, for a genetically mutated Thappraya Road Monster, while your kids play lucky dip with the rubbish.
And for urban scuba divers, there are a plethora of dangerously deep chambers to explore, like this one outside a bar?! in the Jomtien Complex.
The slogan could be: Thappraya Road. Fun For All The Family.
Next Edition: Focus on Pattaya Beach Road
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-- Pattaya One 2011-12-05
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Of Baht and Buses
I often really enjoy the pleasure – or should I say, the experience - of getting baht buses between Jomtien and Pattaya, even though the recent city centre road chaos has made it much less enjoyable recently.
Sometimes, especially in high season, getting baht buses is like watching a soap opera, and the later at night it gets the more you see, although, frankly, not much of it is that pleasant. It’s more like Russian Roulette.
Earlier in the low season, there were so few tourists around I was once outnumbered one evening by a gang of female pickpockets (5 women with oversized, empty bags on their laps, who promptly got off my bus when it reached town, crossed the road, got on another one and headed back to Jomtien). They spent the journey either raucously conversing or eyeing up my well protected pockets.
Sometimes you get a feel for how international the city is becoming by talking to or overhearing people on baht buses.
A few days ago I met an Ethiopian who was here for medical tourism at Bumrungrad Hospital who had come to Pattaya for the weekend; that was an interesting conversation as I had recently been to Addis Ababa, the capital of Ethiopia, which is where he lived. I rapidly followed that up with encountering a couple from Liberia, here for a 2 week holiday.
More negatively, on another baht bus ride I witnessed a German guy sternly request a sprawling Indian to take his feet off the seats, and other passengers huffing and puffing as an ignorant passenger lit up a cigarette and choked out the others.
I also often smile (or sneer?) at the reluctance, bordering on wilful refusal, of Russians to give up even an inch of the ample space next to them, when there are other people wanting to sit down.
As an experiment, at 1am recently, I waited for a baht bus in town on a Sunday night to take me back to Jomtien.
SIXTEEN buses passed me before one stopped. Most were hired privately by couples or foursomes, but the others were empty, kerb-crawling looking for special rides at stupid rates from pissed-up tourists, oblivious to the likes of me, waiting for a 10 baht ride. I waited well over 20 minutes before one stopped for me.
Often, on the way into town in the evening, I see the usual high season queues of Russian and other Jomtien tourists stranded on Thappraya Road, unable to hail a baht bus going into town as mostly Russian couples and foursomes have hired them already. This is an increasing problem.
I think it’s high time the baht bus mafia stopped blocking the establishment of a proper bus service in Pattaya, subsidized by City Hall if need be, to cater for revellers who are otherwise stranded earlier in the evening, trying to get into town, or by the late night greed of baht bus drivers, or lack of available baht buses, on their way home.
Even if it only ran at night in high season, it would be worthwhile.
It isn’t right to say the best interests of the city as a tourist destination are being best served by the current cartel, and although, on the whole, I am actually a fan of baht buses, I also think they are preventing the city from catering to all tourists, by inadequately coping with high season numbers, as the increasing queues of frustrated people waiting for rides gets longer every high season.
Diving in Puerto Galera
I am writing this in Puerto Galera in the Philippines, where I come to dive as often as possible.
It’s a laid-back place, and without the diving I’d probably have to resort to self harm to keep me entertained. Luckily the diving is world class, so that won’t be happening anytime soon.
Comprised of over 7,000 islands, the Philippines is heavily reliant on both national and international maritime links, for goods and people, and bad weather at this time of year plays havoc with inter-island shipping, as the authorities have learned the hard way that unstable, overloaded and badly-maintained craft in heavy, stormy seas, equals very bad news all round, and they often close the shipping lanes in bad weather.
But whatever the weather, below the waves the sea life here is wonderful. Hopefully these photographs of Nudibrancs will covey the picture better than my waffle.
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-- Pattaya One 2011-12-04
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Above Bawd in Pattaya
Eating Rats
Recently peckish, I trawled the Secrets web board in the hope of finding some juicy gastronomic pointers, and wasn't disappointed when I discovered two threads about eating rats.
The threads were: “What's for Breakfast?”, and “Rats - would you eat one!”
Now these rats aren't your common or garden sewer-dwelling city rats (I hope) but are instead ones that live in the rice fields (but who can really say where they were caught when they are skinned, gutted and barbecued?)
Pumpuynarak kicked us off with: Wifey and I visited her mum in the village on Friday. As we were about to leave there was considerable excitement from the neighbours, whose son had caught a rat. This rat was a fxxking monster. It must have been 18 inches long, minus the tail, that's in part what all the excitement was about. I am told by wifey they rarely catch them that size.
Within minutes it had been skinned and was divvied up amongst them and wifey had her share. So off we go, back home with the rat.
No sooner had we got in the door than wifey is cutting it up and chopping it into small pieces, the remainder went into the fridge.
Now the cooking commenced. After about 20 mins of frying wifey is tucking into this rat with the biggest smile on her face i have ever seen.
I have to say that the cooking smells permeating from the kitchen were quite nice, but there's no way I could eat the thing.
Brownie shuddered: a rat with an 18 inch body?? <deleted> catching it. I'd have run a mile. Is it a normal rat with gigantism or another type of rat?
Secrettom was cool on the great taste of rat: Treated like a rabbit by the Thais, they are field rats and I accidentally ate some a few years ago; greasy foul <deleted>.
Comsic36 helpfully weighed in with: I work in a rat/mouse lab and we have a freezer full of 800 rats cut up in various pieces. What is your wife's address, I can feed the village for a year.
Hilly helpfully set out what looked like a delicious recipe for rat (in post 10, Rats - Would you eat one thread for adventurous readers - let us know how it turns out!), commenting: Serve ground rat meat on an oval dish with livers and heart on the top. Circle with garnish of basil leaves and halves of lime. Serve with white rice. The flavor will be hot and tangy with a mild crunchy chew to it. It is not to be considered the main dish, but a nice hot and spicy accent to other prepared dishes.
Eddibabyyeah said: During a trip around LOS last year myself & the missus came across lots of sellers at the side of the road selling BBQ'd rats. She stopped and bought one. The thing smelled bloody awful. I did have a small bite of it and it was full of bones and tasted nothing like rabbit.
Heymarky said he'd eaten one in Bangkok unknowingly many moons ago. Tasted like pork only sweeter.
I'd have thought a Bangkok rat would be full of diseases, and taste disgusting, but what do I know. I bottled my only opportunity to taste upcountry rat.
Unlike me, Bottleymike didn't bottle, and said I have eaten barbequed rat up country. It tasted OK, and probably a lot healthier than the steroids fed pork, or the farmed fish that are fed on chicken crap.
The rats live in the rice fields and feed off of the rice, so are relatively speaking free range, so why not eat them.
LionKing weighed in with a late night Pattaya tale in a street behind South Pattaya Market, for anyone tempted after a night out: half way up there are some stalls selling skinned rats and dozens of other things dead and alive. However they are probably Beach Road or City rats rather than the delicious free range rice field rats.
Sinclair1969 said My girlfriend loves to eat these wild rats, they are different from the city rats in that they have been living in a clean environment. They are for sale along the main roads in many parts of Thailand and are a favorite among many villagers.
Merv believes the dearest meat in Thailand is Rice Rat. Why I asked, and the answer is quite simple really "they are very difficult to catch" i thought they tasted a bit gamey and very chewy.
So there you have it. Rice field rats sound like they could be quite tasty, urban rats are literally “bog” standard. Any intrepid tasters out there, be sure to let us know.
Next Edition: Other unusual food Choices in Thailand.
All comments or Web Board tipoffs gratefully received at [email protected]
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-- Pattaya One 2011-12-03
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Hoa Lo Prison, Hanoi, Vietnam
Constructed on what is believed to be the site of a former craft village, the Hoa Lo prison in Vietnam’s capital Hanoi has become better known to foreigners by the appellation it was given by United States air force personnel during the Second Indochina War: the Hanoi Hilton.
Situated on the corner of Hai Ba Trung and Hoa Lo streets, two-thirds of the former prison was demolished in 1993 to make way for the building of a serviced apartment and office complex. Soon after, the remaining vestige of the prison was turned into a museum and opened to the public as a ‘memorial to the revolutionaries’.
Many tourists come primarily to look at a place that has entered the folklore of American history as it pertains to Vietnam, probably unaware that Hoa Lo means as much, if not more, to the Vietnamese than it can ever mean to Americans.
A brochure, which features an aerial photograph of the Hoa Lo prison taken before much of it was demolished, states, ‘Towards the end of the 19th century, in an effort to contain the growth and development of popular anti-colonial movements amongst the Vietnamese community, the French government of Indochina reinforced its apparatus of suppression by strengthening the police force, developing the court system and constructing an extensive network of prisons. Opened in 1896, Hoa Lo was the largest…in the north of Vietnam…’
From 1896 until 1954 when North Vietnam came into being following the defeat of the French colonisers, Hoa Lo was used to house 1,900 Vietnamese evolutionaries. The second floor of the prison museum is dedicated to them.
The brochure, naturally, goes on to extol the great sacrifices made by the revolutionaries and dissidents who were ‘confined for years in tiny cells with chains and leg-irons [enduring] savage treatment by prison guards.’
Conditions were harsh. For example, according to French records, between 30 June 1920 and 30 June 1921, 87 people died in the prison, including 17 from fever, 15 from the flu, and 10 from cholera.
Among those incarcerated were five future General-Secretaries of the Vietnamese Communist Party, Le Duan probably being the best known outside of Vietnam.
The tourist authorities know precisely what attracts visitors and so they have dedicated much of the ground floor to the period between 5 August 1964 when the first United States prisoner made his way through the portals to 29 March 1973 when the last of almost 600 airmen was released.
That first man was Lieutenant Everett Alvarez. Stationed aboard the USS Constellation, he had flown a sortie against North Vietnamese patrol boat bases as part of retaliation for what became known as the Tonkin Gulf incidents. Alvarez’s plane was one of two aircraft shot down, but he was the only pilot to safely parachute from his plane. ‘He landed in shallow water, fracturing his back in the drop. Local North Vietnamese militia soon arrived and took him to a nearby jail, where he was briefly visited by Prime Minister Pham Van Dong, who had coincidentally been touring the region at the time.’ So wrote journalist Stanley Karnow in Vietnam, his epic history of the nation and especially the American part of the war.
The museum carries laborious details of cooking, exercising, and medical care, regarding the United States personnel who were incarcerated there, probably the most famous of these being John McCain, later a United States Senator and defeated Republican presidential candidate in 2008.
The prison was hardly the almost ‘holiday camp’ atmosphere portrayed by pictures and written material on show in the museum today. Although a signatory to the 1949 Geneva Convention, which holds that prisoners of war should receive ‘decent and humane treatment’ as they are deemed to be ‘victims of events’, the North Vietnamese government took the line that those engaged in the bombing of their country from the air were engaged in ‘crimes against humanity’. The Vietnamese confined many of their captives to solitary cells for long periods and abused many for declining to broadcast prepared anti-war statements.
The notes on plaques in the prison claim 3,700 United States airmen were shot down and captured. According to Karnow, ‘Since 1961 nearly 9,000 U.S. airplanes and helicopters [were] lost in action over Cambodia, Laos, and the two Vietnams. Some 2,000 pilots and crew members had been killed, more than 1,000 were missing, and the captives in Communist hands numbered close to 600.’ Well, Caucasians all the look the same.
Today, the Hanoi Hilton helps to draw people from all over the world to experience the not just the natural beauty of Vietnam but also its fascinating history.
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-- Pattaya One 2010-11-30
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Another Black Hole in Pattaya
Nightmarch
Mooning around Loy Krathong: When high season begins, around the start of November, the management of Diamond go-go (Soi Diamond) usually start ramping up the number of their popular dance contests and other events to try and take advantage of the extra punters in Fun Town. This year the traditional Loy Krathong festival takes place in late November and on Sunday night 21 November Diamond go-go will be holding a Full Moon Party as part of their Loy Krathong celebrations. If you’re expecting traditional costumes, demure damsels and graceful movements then you should stop taking your medication, now. The party will be in full swing by about 11:00pm, with more ‘mooning’ likely to take place than you would ever see at a proctologists hands-on convention.
Yet another ‘black hole’ emerges: A few weeks ago I reported on the re-opening of the Sakura Club 69 go-go in Soi 15. This den has had more ups and downs than a Lumpini street walker on a Saturday night, but it is starting to appear as though the place is more benighted than blessed, because just three weeks into its new regime the doors are once more closed. A sign has now appeared offering the place for sale, I’m told, for 2.6 million baht. This is about half a million less than its previous asking price.
Sakura Club 69 began life as a tiny broom closet of a den known as Nui’s in late 1999. It struggled for a while but ultimately the eponymous Nui has moved on to bigger and better things, most of them on Walking Street proper. It closed for renovations in 2005 and, after a series of delays, opened under the name Club 69 in January 2007. Since then it has been sold, renovated, re-opened, closed, re-sold, renovated, re-opened and closed It was sold a few months later, closed and renovated. It re-opened with the name Sakura added to the Club 69, aiming to attract a few of the sushi and sake brigade. By October that year it was closed yet again. Since then it has opened and closed a few more times, and I guess the only person making any money out of the place is the Thai landlord.
Not worth a cracker: Catering primarily to potentially inquisitive Russians and located up a flight of steps covered by a gaudy and truly tacky red carpet, the Rocket go-go (Soi Diamond) is quite busy. A small sign downstairs is in Russian and probably reads, ‘prepare to be shocked by the rubbish we are about to pass off as a typical Thai dancing bar.’ Anybody who has ever been conned into going upstairs in one of those Patpong so-called ‘show’ bars and then been right royally ripped off will get a sense a déjà vu if they wander into Rocket. Places like these basically confirm the pre-conceived notion so many foreign tourists have of the nightlife scene in Pattaya. Given the quality, but sexy, entertainment on show in a place like Angelwitch (around the corner in Soi 15), what is on offer in Rocket is anachronistic at best and downright disgusting at worst.
Masochists R Us: Some years ago the Carlsberg booze producing company from Denmark were a fairly significant player in the Thailand amber fluid ingestion market. Then the local brewers allegedly found a way of scuppering Carlsberg and the Danes pulled the pin and retreated from the local marketplace. That was about eight or 10 years ago. But the Vikings have returned for a second bite at the beer keg and Carlsberg is now available in a few select outlets in Fun Town. As of the end of October it should now be possible to start sinking Carlsberg in places such as Queen Victoria Inn (Soi 6), Butcher’s Arms (Soi Buakhow), The Sportsman (Soi 13) and Rosie O’Grady’s (Soi 7).
No good if you have hay fever: The management of the Club Oasis go-go (Soi Buakhow) are always tweaking at the edges in an effort to keep the vibrancy in their chrome pole den. Happy hours are great value, especially for those who enjoy sinking liver wasters: two for 100 baht in a substantial glass is definitely a winner; with draft amber at 60 baht a glass. A number of video screens have been installed and the music combined with the visuals is another plus.
Of course the most important element is the wallet emptying brigade and I would argue the den currently has one of the best line-ups I’ve ever seen in the place: all shapes and sizes, but the vast majority in nice proportion. Gone are the days when a porker managed to sneak into the lineup, although, that said, it’s amazing how many of these lard barrels are popular with the less confident bum on a barstool.
Oasis have introduced three shows a night, at 8:00, 9:00 and 10:00pm. I saw the first one, which involved a number of damsels sporting boots, face masks and draped in feather boas and nothing else shuffling about the stage. There’s really not a lot you can do with a collection of feather boas, and Thai chrome pole molesters are not noted for their choreographic skills. It also doesn’t help when the boas happen to be moulting. The trail of discarded feathers put me in mind of a gaggle of geese fleeing a hungry wolf pack. “Waitress, there’s a feather in my beer,” sounds like a variation on the old tried and tested restaurant wail, “Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.”
I do have one complaint, and that’s about the dress code within the confines of the den. There was one dancer wandering about the floor wearing nothing but a very short skirt, a comely smile and a tie. The tie was loosely hanging around her cleavage and most certainly not done up in a proper Windsor knot. Next thing you know the standards will slip further and they’ll be wearing cravats of the wrong colour. Management please note.
Check out the checks: Not sure what the people who run the Powers go-go on Walking Street are thinking. They appear to be confused as to whether they should be a full on go-go with dancing girls in various states of limited apparel or, hedging their bets, have a collection of over-dressed coyote damsels and a number of attentive hostesses as well. Just in case someone thinks they’ve wandered into a sports lounge, there’s also a pool table.
The dancers, of which there are not really as many as one would want to see for the size of the den, are bedecked in a strange black and white checkered bikini and stockings ensemble. It’s different, but not especially alluring, particularly when the majority of the shufflers are overdressed, hiding all the good bits from public gaze. A few do release their inner charms but this just adds to the confusion as to what the den management is trying to achieve. The checkered outfits make the dancers look like extras from an episode of the 1960s TV series Batman and Robin with The Joker as the feature villain.
Lolly water is 90 baht and lady drinks are 120 baht, so prices are about average for this kind of den.
Something old, something new for the wallet devouring high season: Down on Walking Street and its environs the Carousel go-go (Soi Diamond) re-opened at the start of November, albeit with only a limited number of chrome pole exponents. Down in Soi 16, the former go-go Club Sin City has been renovated and become Relaxxx go-go, opening on the 6th. Let’s hope it does better than all the previous incarnations. On the main drag, a giant den called Alcatraz was set to open on the 12th, a few days after the deadline for copy for this newspaper. It will be interesting to see how it goes in terms of attracting the punters: many will probably feel a sense of nostalgia, while others may avoid the joint because it brings back bad memories.
Further afield, the Clinic beer boozer and former sports emporium (Soi Yamato) has re-opened after having had a lick of bright paint and a new sign erected out front. There are also a few wallet emptiers now warming their backsides on seats and hoping for customers. The joint has been taken over by Aoy, the widow of Derek Adams, who sadly passed away at the end of August. I wish her all the best after what has been a traumatic year.
Piece of Pith: "There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes Benz 380L convertible." -PJ O'Rourke
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-- Pattaya One 2010-11-29
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Go Go Girl Dies On Customer
By Stickman
Take no notice of those who say there’s no money in the bar business. Iconic Nana Plaza show bar, Angelwitch, and its sister bar in Pattaya, are as good as sold. Sale price is rumoured to be around 100 million baht! Angelwitch developed what Soi Cowboy's Long Gun had been doing, taking the concept of shows to a whole new level. The girls were kitted out in exotic, sexy outfits and used a variety of props, helping Angelwitch to become one of the biggest brands in the business.
The most hyped new venue, Bangkok's Insomnia, opened on Friday night 5 November to much fanfare and a city laden with advertising. The venue was packed and the 300 baht entry fee – redeemable against your first drink - didn’t put anyone off. It’s a cavernous venue, with elements of both Western discos and Thai night spots. The crowd is rather different to what you find in Pattaya’s Insomnia. The Bangkok branch attracted a more well-to-do crowd and most of the ladies look like they would be appalled to be offered 1,000 baht for a little of their time. [not enough? Ed]
It's good to see Carlsberg back in Thailand, but at 200 baht a pint, or a princely 130 baht for a half pint as listed on the blackboard outside the Robin Hood, it’s no bargain.
Popular visa run company Jack Golf's problems continue. Their bus broke down again this past week, resulting in some customers choosing to take a cab back to the capital, rather than wait for replacement transport. Those who regularly make visa runs insist that the Korean-run firm is the best in the business but the frequency of break downs is a concern. Are the signs inside the bus requesting a tip for the staff a Korean thing?
Marc, the energetic owner of Spanky's, has opened a new bar on Sukhumvit soi 33 with an apt name, Hookers! The plush venue is on the small sub soi beside Wall Street. There's a lounge downstairs and 10 rooms upstairs for....whatever takes your fancy! Marc set out to create a well-appointed yet relaxing venue and used the old Champagne Room which was above Bully's as his inspiration.
A go-go girl died whilst in the company of her customer. The customer rushed her to hospital at 4:00am after discovering that she had stopped breathing. The girl was not a big drinker and some girls have speculated that the customer may have spiked her drink. Police say it will take 45 days for the toxicology results.
For fans of Beer Lao, not only is it in stock at Sheba's and Suzy Wong's in Soi Cowboy, it's a very reasonable 75 baht before 9:00pm. The price doubles after 9 at which point 150 baht is the price for standard drinks, as it is in many Bangkok venues these days. Why is it that Beer Lao is not listed on the drinks menu? The average punter wouldn't even know it was available.
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-- Pattaya One 2010-11-28
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GAYMARCH
Email me at [email protected].
In this issue we highlight the Sunee Plaza gay nightlife district, which consists of two small sois, bordered by Sois VC and Yensabai, in South Pattaya. From Second Road, just walk down Soi VC for about 250 metres and you’ll see Sunee Plaza on your right. Sunee Plaza has a somewhat ‘down market’ feel compared to Boyz Town. However, some punters prefer this area because of its array of ‘beer bars’ and coffee shops, offering vantage points for people watching, giving the area a European-style café ambiance. There’s a great mix of venues including go-go bars, some of which present exotic shows; and many ‘host bars,’ where you can relax with a leisurely drink or a cup of coffee in the company of a handsome young man, if you desire. Drink prices tend to be lower than Pattayaland and many establishments offer happy hours and other specials. In addition, if you’re into femme boys (aka ladyboys or katoeys); you’ll find lots of them here. However, there’s a big variety of various types of young men and you’re sure to find some that will light your candle. Part of the fun is bar hopping until you find the man of your dreams.
Many of the venues in Sunee Plaza tend to feature youthful looking boys who are on the slender side, in addition to the more buff ones. Always check ID if you decide to ‘take off’ a staff member. You can find a complete listing of the area’s venues on the website, www.suneeplaza.info. Some of the popular clubs include Nice Boys, on Soi VC. Their stage is often jammed with forty or more pole dancing lads. Come early for the best selection.Krazy Dragon presents ‘table top’ dancing boys in skimpy attire, as well as, reasonably priced drinks. Another table top dancing joint is Happy Boys on Soi Yensabai, where the boys stand before you on low tables wearing just loin cloths. Purchase a drink for yourself and your new friend and he’ll accompany you upstairs for more intimate conversation. Wunderland go-go bar offers a nightly cabaret show.
As mentioned, host bars abound. In the center of Sunee Plaza, is The Corner Bar, which offers a great location to relax with the boys. They feature double shots in their mixed drinks and even offer a limited burger and sandwich menu. On 30 November, The Corner Bar celebrates the first anniversary of their current ownership and the owner’s birthday with a free buffet and entertainment. Another popular spot is Oud’s, hosted by the adorable young man of the same name and also offering burgers, sandwiches, drinks and good company. Theatre queens will appreciate the posters on the walls. Duc’s offers delicious coffee and drinks and has a monthly Quiz night on the 15th.
OTHER STUFF: Every Friday night, beginning at 8, it’s Deep Splash, at the DusitD2 Hotel, on Pattaya Second Road, next to The Avenue Shopping Mall. This is for the ‘young and sophisticated’ gay crowd in a cool and high class party atmosphere. On Friday, 19 November, Café Royale, in the heart of Boyz Town, will celebrate its twentieth anniversary with an evening of special presentations, fashion and swimwear shows, lucky draws and trivia challenges. They’re offering a gala buffet dinner for 750 baht. Less is more? Since the police raided X-Boys, on Pattayaland Soi 1, their show has become a bit less revealing. Recently, however, some very erotic stuff was going on under the sheets. Every Monday and Wednesday, throughout November, at The Venue, in Jomtien Complex, all orders, after the first order, will be entered into a ‘win the bin’ lucky draw, valued at 500 baht, following the show. The Pattaya Pride street party takes place on 1 December in Boyz Town.
Next edition of GAYMARCH will feature the Jomtien Complex area
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-- Pattaya One 2010-11-27
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We'll take it in our forum - no problem!
To misquote Matthew Arnold, Pattaya One Forum is the home of lost Thai Visa Causes......
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Meditations on a Dead Squid
By S. Tsow
A recent news item reported that a man in Wales was photographed having sex with a dead squid. The possessor of the photograph (apparently not the same person who had sex with the squid) was arrested and charged with possessing ‘an extreme pornographic image which portrayed in an explicit and realistic way a person performing an act of intercourse with a dead animal, namely a squid, which was grossly offensive, disgusting or of obscene character.’
You can tell right away that the Welsh authorities are a prim and puritanical bunch. Precisely what aspect of this act has caused the court to vilify it in such stern words? Is it the fact that the victim was dead, or the fact that it was a squid? If the latter, the court is guilty of a bias based on species, technically known as speciesism. Such bias must be condemned by all right-thinking, politically correct people.
The issue of a man having sex with a dead squid is a delicate topic that presents many pitfalls, but I propose to address it with my customary tastefulness, wit, and grace. I know that there are many cowardly editors out there who would reel in disgust at the thought of printing this. “There goes Tsow again, sending us filth,” I can hear them grumbling. “This one goes into the shredder.”
But not this editor. No! I am confident that the editor of this journal will boldly tread where no previous editor has ever trodden before, blazing new trails in journalistic courage, embracing freedom of information, openness to Truth, the equality of all mankind, and the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I know that this brave editor will fiercely defend my God-given right to pen whatever depraved scurrility manages to slither through the rotting convolutions of a diseased brain.
Yes, the world will be shocked and disgusted. But we must have Truth, however ugly and unpleasant it may be. This particular crime, technically called squidbonking, has many complex ramifications that we must explore in erotic detail; for it casts a new and cruel light on the sewage that suppurates in the dark and hidden corners of the human mind.
There are grave moral issues at stake here. Pope Benedict will surely have much to say about them, and I eagerly await a papal bull [no doubt to be titled Eroticus Squidius Bonkus. Ed.] on the topic. The Reverend Al Sharpton, too, is not likely to remain silent, nor Archbishop Desmond Tutu; and it is for certain that the Muslim ulema is already crafting appropriately sulfurous fatwas. Only the Dalai Lama will have the wisdom to remain silent.
I am concerned about the condition of this unfortunate invertebrate at the time she was so cruelly violated. The squid was dead. She cannot speak out in her own defense, so it remains for brave humans to take up the cudgels on her behalf. As she was in no condition to resist the amorous advances of her assailant, or even to demur verbally, we can consider this a case of rape.
Is it a greater crime to rape a dead victim, or a living one? As creatures of reason, we must acknowledge that raping a living victim is a far weightier crime. For in that instance the victim can feel pain and shame, whereas a dead one cannot. If the court should ever bring the actual rapist to justice, I believe that they must of necessity consider the posthumous condition of the victim to be an extenuating circumstance.
We may feel disgust at the thought of a man raping a dead animal, but we must also admit that nobody is getting hurt in the process. In fact, the man, depraved though he certainly was, must have felt at the very least a perverse frisson of pleasure; otherwise, he would have desisted before consummating his act of love.
Looking at this crime from a broader perspective, we must admit that it is a sad blot on the reputation of our species. Is there no unnatural act, perversion, or atrocity of which we are incapable? As the dominant species on this planet, do we not have a duty to guard, protect, and defend the lower, more helpless species that fall beneath our sway? He who abuses this responsibility disgraces all humankind, bringing shame, opprobrium, and condemnation upon us all. You won’t catch squids raping humans—especially not dead ones.
Who then is the higher species here? It is the lowly, innocent, and unoffending squid. Poor innocent lamb! Here she was, lying dead and harmless on the beach, with her relatives out at sea presumably in deep mourning over her sad condition; when lo! along comes this vicious psychopath to assault and defile her, leaving her no dignity even in death. Inhuman succubus! Irredeemably depraved vampire and cannibal! The wrath, fury, and outrage of the entire global community of creatures are arrayed against him.
We also wonder why he couldn’t get a girl.
………
S. Tsow can be flamed at [email protected], as soon as he stops sputtering about the outrage committed against the late Ms. Squid.
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-- Pattaya One 2010-11-26
Cruising Beach Road
in Pattaya
Posted
Pattaya Focus
Pattaya Beach Road
By Street Stroller
For the next few editions we will be focusing on Pattaya Beach Road (or PBR as I shall call it). Not just on its scammers, strollers, hustlers, hassles and ho's, but also on its gentler sides, its art, its palm-fronded pavements, and much more besides.
However, we should add a word of warning to anyone tempted to whip out their camera and start snapping down there as we have done recently.
With all the freelancers, their minders, drug dealers, jet ski scammers, pickpockets, drug addicts, thieves, teenage gangs and other assorted dodgy characters swarming over Beach Road day and night, you need to be very careful where you point your camera.
Luckily Street Stroller has avoided any confrontations, but I have been eyed suspiciously a number of times, as some people on PBR seem to be increasingly camera shy and nervous when they see a foreigner taking photographs, even when they are not anywhere near the shot.
This might be a reaction to recent internet and local media publicity of some of the dodgy dealings down there.
As an introduction to PBR, I thought we should consider what image best sums it up, and I have a few suggestions in mind, for your consideration.
For example, and starting right outside Walking Street at the sewage pumping station, given the foul, disgusting odours from it, should any of us be surprised to see fetid sewage seeping up from the drains and into the street?
Would this foul photograph (fortunately a life-threatening stench cannot be photographed) accurately sum up the evils of PBR?
Worryingly, one longtime resident commented: “it's still better than before the sewage station was built, when all this shit went into Pattaya Bay, untreated.”
But if that's what's coming out on the street I wonder what's leaking into the sea? Perhaps it's best not to know, but this grim sight and stench is what greets tourists heading to and from Walking Street , and it makes an inauspicious start to a PBR stroll. [more…]
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-- Pattaya One 2010-12-24