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White Christmas13
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Posts posted by White Christmas13
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6 hours ago, CharlieK said:
And a hairdresser. lol
Whats wrong with that? Pauline Hanson ran a Fish and Chip shop
now she is a senator
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7 hours ago, Tarteso said:
People say the beauty is in the interior... This is not the case!
I have a couple of pet monkeys they look better than that animal does
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Common symptoms of diabetes:
- Urinating often.
- Feeling very thirsty.
- Feeling very hungry - even though you are eating.
- Extreme fatigue.
- Blurry vision.
- Cuts/bruises that are slow to heal.
- Weight loss - even though you are eating more (type 1)
- Tingling, pain, or numbness in the hands/feet (type 2)
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The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?"
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
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A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"
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A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?"
The bird said, "You know."
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42 minutes ago, pgrahmm said:
Great Post
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13 hours ago, colinneil said:
The government will never get any info from me from line as i never use it.
Agree
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I don't know if any body is familiar with horse racing but I guess all Aussies do
Today at the cup I put on 4 horses to come first (second third fourth ) guess what?
They came in cost me $20 I picked up $ 24.174.40
Drinks are on the house tonight but you have to pay your own airfare
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This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day."So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?" the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself. So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.
The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.
The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine."
Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise?
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A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?" Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him.
The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"
And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.
The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, "why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?"
The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"
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A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."
"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' ? It would make me feel so much better."
"Sure," answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.
"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.
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5 hours ago, getreal said:
the last thing we want in our great country is a whole lot of these uninvited expats showing up.
They will sit around in drinking in brothels all day and end up marrying our young prostitutes.
They will start an expat forum Aussievisa and instead of contibuting to the country will sit around reading about every little petty crime and complaining about Aussieness all day.
They wont even bother to learn our language and.will get angry when we misinterpret their hand signals and.dont do things how they want it and then call US stupid.
They will complain and moan about filling out a simple form every three months and will constantly tell us that their country does everything better. They will want special rights and expect the taxpayer to foot the bill so it can be more back home.
despite our hospitality they will complain constantly about us all day and wont try to assimilate.
Australia is for Aussies. Well for the ones that got sent here about 240 years ago. The other ones that have been here for.40,000 years dont count so much, but we graciously have given them the right to vote now.
Australia is for Aussies. Well for the ones that got sent here about 240 years ago. The other ones that have been here for.40,000 years dont count so much, but we graciously have given them the right to vote now.
That was in 1962 a few years ago
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7 hours ago, adhd said:
time to move to australia :)
can farang buy land there ? :)
lol
Yes except Thais
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What is your name?Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."
"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How in hell does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me...is right here," replies the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say,'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"
"I say Sem Ting."
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What is wrong with short hair? I have a number 3 all over every time I go for a cut
New Site Feedback
in Forum Support Desk
Posted
I don't know if it is just me, but ever it got changed to the new site I got problems
No, i can reach every thing but every time I click on a topic I will be send to the last page
Why can I not read the topic before I have to read to some ones garble, yes I know I can go
back to the first page but why does the click on the topic does not bring me to the
first page so I can read what it is all about ?