diddums

You'll only get serious advice if you ask a serious question.

Mid life is a serious issue for many and everyone handles it differently.....not everyone sits around their apartment all day or a bar all night....some people actually do do shit.

So...I am serious...deadly......I already am a pilot, so one of the concepts is just an extreme extension of that......I had motorbikes as a young chap, a harley too......the boat thing is new, but I love the sea and adventure...except for sharks.

I must admit...the monk this sounds boring as hell...but might help me contemplate which of the 3 to take on after the monkhood stretch.

Fair enough. Most people I know actually have jobs in mid-life. You obviously don't need one. You'd be on a boat so why worry about sharks? I have a couple of friends with planes in Thailand and they seem to have loads of fun doing this. You don't need to grow your hair to be a biker, or wear silly clothes. More likely to get killed riding a bike than being eaten by sharks.

12 months is a very long time in a temple. Why not try 1 week? I lasted 10 days in a temple with no speaking, getting up at 4am and sleeping on a concrete bed with a carved log as a pillow. I used it more as a detox. I'd like to try it again 15 years on to get more benefit.

Well thing is I like swimming and snorkelling....and on a boat at sea level...obviously...in the tropics it is bloody hot....so lotsa swimming required.

@ simple 1 :

Maybe your family was right. It would have been much more difficult to extract money from him while he was in prison, you know? I can understand your anger, but with him in prison nobody would have benefited out of that situation. Look at my case. I haven't had to pay anything at the end, even I offered the Thai guy a new motorbike and 50.000 Baht cash. He insisted on 350.000 and got nothing in the end.

At one of my court days they brought a rich Thai guy in. He was from BKK having a (Lady) holiday on Samui. He too killed an old woman crossing the road or so. He paid 1 Million compensation for the family and 20.000 baht fine at court with his VISA CARD and was released without charges.

But you couldn't have had that westerner blacklisted anyway. Not for a traffic accident.

Was the westerner drunk?

Well, in the policestation the RTP asked me to pay 200k right there. I told him it would take a few days to come up with the money but he said that that was too late, so I went to court the next morning, and then all went down hill from there.

If that westerner you talk about would have went to court, the court would have prosecuted him for killing a person by accident. That's 5 to 10 years in monkey house. I didn't take that option. I can't remember my accident to this day. I couldn't have paid compensation anyway for the guy asked far to much for a broken pinky. I told the RTP in the policesation to send me to court. I think same in Pattaya than Samui. Depends on how much money you have, and how fast you can pay. Life is cheap in Thailand, you know. Sad, but true.

No he wasn't drunk, but witnesses said he was driving at high speed, followed another car through a red light, lost control and hit our man who was a pedestrian. I no longer have any anger, even though he was without remorse and did a runner after the accident. I realise he would have done time, but as you know many Thais prefer to be pragmatic & receive monetary compensation. For most Thais zero government support when the family bread winner dies or seriously injured.

BTW, good to see a courteous response from you

This thing happens in the west....how can you expect a country like this to do better.

Humans are just <deleted> in general.

Killing a person by accident, for which he is at fault....I hope you mean.

You'll only get serious advice if you ask a serious question.

Mid life is a serious issue for many and everyone handles it differently.....not everyone sits around their apartment all day or a bar all night....some people actually do do shit.

So...I am serious...deadly......I already am a pilot, so one of the concepts is just an extreme extension of that......I had motorbikes as a young chap, a harley too......the boat thing is new, but I love the sea and adventure...except for sharks.

I must admit...the monk this sounds boring as hell...but might help me contemplate which of the 3 to take on after the monkhood stretch.

What is mid-life?

If your life expectancy is 100 then mid-life is around the 50 year old mark. However, if your life expectancy is only 50 then you've reached middle age at the relatively young age of 25. Health and happiness plays a HUGE part in what determines middle age. I have an elderly friend who is in his mid seventies and yet he is running around like some guy in his thirties. I have to exert myself when hiking with him and he always leads the way.Of course, I'm an old broad of 38 and long past what some think is middle age. When I was 12 anybody in their thirties was an old person.

quote

1. Become a Bikie. Buy a Harley, grow a pony tail, get a indian tailor friend on sukhumvit to knock me up a leather vest and chaps. Anyone know any emails for clubs to send an enquiry to re membership ?

2. Become an aerobatic pilot. Any trainers in Thailand ?

3. Become a monk for 12 months.

4. Become a sea captain, buy a boat and sail around the world. Problem here is I am scared of sharks.

I've been 3 out of the 4 of those, but they really aren't a life style. They are just PART of the adventure. Too much of anything can become boring. Why not try it all? If you are single then you have no commitments and the world is your oyster. As my elderly friend keeps telling me... you can only sit on one chair at a time.

You were an aerobatic pilot ?

Bikie: I think Thailand is way to hot for the cool leather clothes: No

Monk: that is too boring after 2 weeks

I would go with the sailing, first of all not many sharks around anymore as the Chinese killed them already and for the rest I recommend to have a lot wiskey on stock (rum will also do) as tranquilizer. A parrot as company is recommended.

Not so sure about the no sharks....I have seen a lot in many places...they are still there, dont fool yourself.

I had a parrot...she died on xmas day.

Why on earth are you seeking advice from anonymous strangers on the internet.

You don't need to listen to advice from others.

You need to sit quietly by yourself and decide what you want to do with the remainder of your life.

And then document a strategy for achieving whatever it is you decide upon.

Clarity is what you require.

Why seek to dilute that clarity with piffle from internet?

Sometimes a little outside chatter helps with the clarety.

Miss Pirich?

Pro-nounced....per-rick

That orange and white one looks rather modernesque.....presume the orange end is the handle.

you presume wrong.

Thought the little orange bit was the go trigger..

Miss Pirich?

Pro-nounced....per-rick

That orange and white one looks rather modernesque.....presume the orange end is the handle.

The handle is white, the small prong is for anal, the big prong is for vagina.

he said Anal and Vagina.....

Hope they move up to Phuket and take it over also.

This is a serious topic and I am having these feelings to uproot my life and seek something else.

Over the last few months to a year I have had thoughts of different things to do....just recently these feelings have become much more insistent.

I have a few options for consideration and would appreciate thoughts on each.....they are all options that I do have a sincere desire to take on ...

1. Become a Bikie. Buy a Harley, grow a pony tail, get a indian tailor friend on sukhumvit to knock me up a leather vest and chaps. Anyone know any emails for clubs to send an enquiry to re membership ?

2. Become an aerobatic pilot. Any trainers in Thailand ?

3. Become a monk for 12 months.

4. Become a sea captain, buy a boat and sail around the world. Problem here is I am scared of sharks.

Any serious advice appreciated.

Great thread...shame op not here anymore as would like to sound out some ideas I have had.

I got out of Samui Jan 2011. The worst place for me was 9 days at Surat on the way to IDC. That place was filthy with just one small dish of watery rice per day and tap water to drink.

31 days I have been in that filth hole. they waited until there were enough Burmese, so it was worth the drive. Ranong was dirty as well, and weird. Been there 5 days.

Monkey house madness part 1 .......... Feb 2011

The Thai prison experience is not to be recommended. Although the Samui monkey house is quite new and small with about 300 guys and 200 girls it didn't take the savages long to make it dirty. So It's just a new, dirty, hot little remand prison. They transfer people away to other less salubrious institutions; Nakon sii Thammarat or Bangkok who get more than 10 years, which is supposed to get rid of the rif-raf, so the place is heaving with violent offenders and others with heavy sentences for hard drugs waiting to be transferred. There were about 30 lady boys sporting shaved heads, botox buttocks and big breasts Not much violence considering the mix of people. A few punch-ups here and there among the population. All in all it was plain boring for me. I read lots of books.

The food was absolute crap. About half of the inmates had regular visits and they'd get at least some edible food brought in every week but otherwise it was pork fat in a horrible curry or fish head soup or plain rice soup sometimes with a side order of peanuts! Wow. then we'd get chicken things in a curry.... sometimes bones and feet. But if you had money you could buy stale cookies and drinks from the prison shop and order overpriced Thai food from "outside" which was made by the wives of the guards and to be honest wasn't much improvement on the prison sludge.

The guards seemed to leave the Farangs alone probably because they couldn't communicate in English but they'd beat the crap out of the Thais if they did something wrong like fighting, stealing or trying to smuggle cigarettes in to the room. They were especially hard on the Burmese inmates. One of the guards the farangs had nick-named "Scary" would dish out novel punishments like having to roll in the dirt and sharp stones from one side of the yard to the other and back again ...for 5 or 6 hours! The guard would stand over them with a big stick in one hand and a bottle of water in the other to pour on them to make them nice and sticky. There were lots of variations on that punishment. Sometimes they would have to piggy back someone around the yard for hours or we saw one guy do 1000 squats. Thats with hands on hips and squatting then standing up and down 1000 times counting each squat out loud. He couldn't walk for 3 days afterwards. Another sadistic one was getting the prisoner to climb up the chain link fence a metre or so and then just hang on to the wire with fingers and toes for a couple of hours chanting "I will not lie to the boss guard" ouch! Other times they would just beat them. Make 'em lay on their stomachs and beat them on the back with a big piece of wood. .Lovely.

There were between 15-20 farang in there, mostly for drugs. Heavy sentences for "ice"- a Kiwi is doing 12 years for 4 grams, a Nigerian got the death penalty commuted to 50 years for 50gm, a Turkish guy got 3 years for 0.4gm, a Thai guy got 1 year for stealing a chicken!, and a Burmese was doing 18 months for cutting a tree down (under the orders of his Thai boss but the Burmese was the one holding the chainsaw).... 2 years for rape, 7 years for rape, 8 years for murdering a Thai, 1 year for murdering a Burmese! Lots of murderers on Samui. You would never know to look at them or talk to them.... one young Thai guy about 25 who had a very quiet personality and was polite and friendly was a hit-man and he had killed 7 people. But you'd never know just talking to him. Scary shit really. .... as you can see the sentencing is not very consistent.

They would let us out at 6.30 in the morning and back inside the rooms at 4pm. We had to line up and be counted 5 times per day. We we permited a TV and DVD player in the room which got well used but the guards would turn them off at 9pm ... but not the lights!!!. Lights on all night, sleep on the hard tiled floor with a couple of folded blankets for a matress. Most of the time it was very cramped sleeping arrangements; It was impossible to roll over to change your sleeping position, you would have to "shuffle" getting kicked in the face by someone next to you was the norm as was waking up with numb limbs... To make more space we would tie blankets together and string them up like hammocks to make room on the floor. It was tight with 18 people but sometimes we had 23 or 24. Dunno how we did id it. During the day we would just sit at our little table and read or play checkers or talk. I usually buried my head in a book. I must have read 200 books but can hardly remember any of 'em.

There was one thing the native population liked to do that I could never get my head around was the practise of mutilating ones penis - the purpose eludes me as I could see no point in such disfigurement even in the name of art, especially where the mutilations were performed without anaesthetic and in the most unhygienic of circumstances, the ensuing scarring of tissue that I would assume would lead to at least some damage to the fine nerve endings we have in our nether regions. There seemed to be several styles preferred requiring a variety of masochistic methods to complete the process.

On one of the first days of my stay one of the Thai captives said "hey, what are you in for and take a look at this...." and proceeded to show me something in his pants that I guess used to be his dick. It was now a festered lumpy thing with what looked like a dead flower hanging on the end. I said "<deleted> is that?" he said "I got 13" ... 13 what? ...."13 beads"- "Oh I see" I said. So without having to look too closely and with further explanation I was able to ascertain this idiot had inserted 13 glass beads under the skin of the shaft of his penis and in addition he had sliced the foreskin to make it look like a flower. The glass beads were supposed to be in a uniform pattern but obviously had moved and many were clustered together. Somewhat dazed I went to consult the long termer farangs who I was sure would be able to shed some light on this bizarre practise.

I had managed to receive a jar of Vegemite that was left in the fridge of the bungalow I used to live in that a Thai friend brought to me on a visit a few days before. The guard checking the items delivered by visitors had obviously been asleep or had been distracted by her smile and had not noticed the Vegemite was in a glass jar. Such things as tin cans and glass containers are forbidden as the savages might attempt suicide with broken glass or worse; fashion beads out of the broken pieces of glass and insert them under the skin of their dicks! One of the farangs said I could sell the empty Vegemite jar for 2 packs of cigarettes. I said "Wow" cos that sounded like a good deal for an empty glass jar. The guys explained to me the savages would then break the jar and spend hours grinding down the pieces of broken jar on a rough piece of concrete into smooth oval beads. Then they could slice their dicks open with the blade from a blunt disposable razor and insert the beads under the skin . I said "but WHY?" One of the more educated farangs said the practise has it's roots in ancient tribal customs and another said his mate in Germany had a bead surgically inserted on the top of his penis so his girlfriend might gain some extra stimulation. Ah ha! Indeed I had seen something like this on a porn movie once ... or twice. "But this guy had 13 beads, and had his foreskin sliced to make it look like a flower" I said. The farangs said "Yes we know and we don't know why, this is Thailand Al" I couldn't imagine Thai guys doing this to enhance their girlfriend's sexual pleasure. I started to think that maybe this was why Thai girls would tell farangs they didn't like Thai guys. What, with penises that looked like a durian with the sharp bits rounded off it's not a pretty sight. The farangs told me there is a guy sporting 24 beads and he believes it to be a Samui prison record. Someone asked me if I had seen the dick on Nong sitting over there, beckoning him over. "Not yet, but it looks like I'm going to" I said. Nong has had his penis enlarged by injecting a large quantity of Vaseline petroleum jelly under his dick skin. Where they got the very large hypodermic needle from is a mystery but I was later to witness briefly the injecting process while I was innocently brushing my teeth in the bathroom. Of course after the jelly is injected it settles at the knob end in a large bulbous mass. Nong's dick looked like a large pear hanging between his legs. Ugly

Interesting.

Hope I never have to enter such premises.

It would be nice to see every shop stop selling them.

Filthy habit for weak minded people.

It would be even better if people stop butting into someone else's life and minded their own business.

I agree 100% with this guy....I wonder when is he going to stop now and blowing and forcing his filthy business onto everybody else ?

Have you thought that maybe people don't come back on and give there thanks because like i have done in the past have come on here because as you say it can be very informative especially for us that don't live there and only come for a few weeks at a time to ask a simple question and all we get is sarcasm, the p**s taken out of us or our question, some of you are so up your own backsides because you have been living there for some time and you seem to forget that you were once a newcomer or vacationer there and didn't know your way round or how to go on, i just have to laugh at some of the comments i have got but i would imagine some people get quite offended...i think that some of you must be quite bitter and sad people that you cant just give a civil answer ... there you go now i have had my rant and no doubt i will get a load of abuse now!!!

awwww...diddums

It would be nice to see every shop stop selling them.

Filthy habit for weak minded people.

if you name and shame me I'll take you to court...

Good for you. Didn't realise I was talking to Jay cutler. My humble apologies

My apologies to you. How big do the members need to be in a gym in order for it to be classified as a "proper gym" by you?

And which body part is the big bit referring to ?

To be clear these were pretty pedestrian establishments with many other options nearby. Once I got a sense the service was going to be terrible it made more sense just to walk 10 feet and go somplace else. These were places with waiter service so I'm not going to get up and beg them to give me food

No need to get up, I'd gesture them to come over.

Tough guy alert...

What on earth did they use the 3 legged tripod for...

I feel like I've been refused service at restaurants but can't be sure. Always when eating alone. One of the two times I waited a really good long while as others were served just to be sure what was happening. Then I just leave.

I'm a normal looking guy so I guess it just comes down to poor service and/or taking up table space

Why didn't you ask why?

Some thai staff are just too shy or not confident to go and ask the foreigner what he wants for fear of embarrassment in not understanding....had it happen few times

The best thing about Phuket is..........

Leaving

Were any animals involved ?