Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t

It's A decent Question, though I would word it differently to really shed some insight. In fact I think I will start a second pole with more options to make it a little bit more interesting. Not to knock your idea, I just think it needs a bit more clarification.

Who Ever they are, what ever their twisted motive... They WIN if we let them control us through fear... They WIN if we let them stop us from celebrating the new year. It's not easy, and it's certainly scary, but we can't let them gain control.

to all those who are sending money over to your povery stricken little tilaks in thailand in the belief that you can buy fidelity as easily as you can buy sex.

you poor deluded lovestruck fools!!!

sending money over to support bar girls (i am assuming that they are bar girls or sex industry girls), get a life.

my wifes family own an apartment block just off sukhumvit,36 small bed-sit type apartments with a little convenience store attached. most of the apartments are rented by bar/massage girls,sometimes 3 to an apartment.the girls are vivacious,fun and mostly beautiful.they lead an envious lifestyle.

they can afford to.

the girls come down to the shop,literally on a daily basis to get letters and e-mails translated from english into thai,and then to formulate suitable replies to the poor suckers who have made the fatal mistake of "falling in love" with these girls.

these girls,or a very high percentage of the ones that we write letters for,have three,four,five or more guys on the go at one time,the money comes rolling in on a monthly basis,supposedly to support children,family,pay the rental on the apartment,build a house etc.

in all cases the guy thinks he is the only one.

in all cases the girl makes him think he is the only one.

in 90% of cases the money is used to pay off gambling debts,buy gold,pay the bills on the three or four mobile phones that each girl has.etc.etc.etc.and buy vast amounts of alcohol from the shop.

very little money goes to support the family back home.

i sometimes get to meet you guys as and when you make your yearly/twice yearly pilgrimage to bangkok.some of you seem quite rational and intelligent,we watch football together and pop out for a drink together sometimes.

but i find it hard to keep quiet sometimes.knowing what i know, if i am asked for an opinion about the girl in question i will tell you. but you dont believe me because its not what you want to hear, and after you have left the money orders still keep coming in.

on the days that the guy leaves, the airport trip ceremony occurs takes place.

a sad day indeed,the heavy suitcases,the lightened wallet,the sad farang face,the warm clothing draped over the cases,ready for the arrival home, the "weeping" girlfriend left behind to suffer the pangs of loneliness whilst the hard working boyfriend flies back to the snowy lands of europe to toil away for another 6 months or so.

before the guy has settled into his economy class seat the girl will be back in town,dressed up and ready to party.

a new boyfriend will appear in the shop next morning,bleary eyed and bow legged buying his ciggies and an iced coffee for his squeeze.and on it goes.

these girls are brilliant at what they do,absolutely fckucking brilliant.

there may be one or two genuine ones out there who fall in love and form relationships based on love,but for 90% of you,

i'm afraid you are making a big mistake in thinking that love enters the equation.

unless you are in the country on a permanent basis,forget it.

a lot of these girls are earning 30k baht upwards from abroad alone,thats before what they get from guys for short time and long time. these girls are money mad and as busy as rabbits

so, all you kevins,helmuts and brads, the next e-mail,or letter that you receive could well have been translated by me.

and may i take this opportunity to thank you all for contributing to the continued success of the in-laws business.

work hard lads,get some overtime in,and keep sending over those ££,$$,EE.

see you for a beer in december.

some of you,you are paying for fun and you know it,no problem,

the rest of you ,you're paying for love, but getting taken for a painful and expensive and possibly heartbreaking ride.

would you form relationships with such girls back home?

Brilliant Post, I lived in Pattaya for many years and have seen this secnerio literally dozens of times, more even... And it really doesn't matter what you look like or how old you are. I have been in the bed with girls when their crusty old sugar daddy calls up, and they don't even have the decency to stop fondling me. Meanwhile I hear his voice on the other line like "Oh I love you terak, I miss you and I come see you again soon. You get the money I send you? this money ok for you???" I felt like saying "Yeah it was ok for me!!! we had a great time at Xzyte! on your bread, Thanks Granpa!!!"....

At the same time I remember a 18yr old Marine suckered by some bar hoe, sending what he could of his meager lil pennies to her, thinking she was no longer working. She said "I still take man because if not he have to send me more and I know he no have good money"...

If you got a bar girl or a girl whom in your heart you don't 100% trust. When you are away, BE AWAY. Let her go and if she is meant to be with you she will be there when you get back..if not 100 more that look just like her will be. It's not rocket science people, really.

And if you do trust her, then still be in contact with her DAILY for atleast an hour. I trust my fiance' but STILL I average well over a hour a day video calling her at home. Simply because she needs the attention and it keeps our bond fresh and strong.

Is it full proof, no nothing is, but the trick is getting to a happy place were your not wondering whats going on when your not there.

I feel flattered when girls say I'm hung like a horse, but that may be a wee bit off topic.

Trust me that never gets old.

Poor Alexth, he really should not have to defend his oppinion like this. I mean you can have a oppinion about any group that you like just so long as you treat people with respect and courtesy when you encounter them. Provided ofcourse they reciprocate.

Take me for example, I think Muslims are great in my book, generally better than Christians, and 100 times better than Jews which I throughly despise for all the same reasons(and a bus load more) that Alexth dosn't like Muslims.

However, when I meet someone I always give them the benefit of the doubt first. And my mind is forever open to change.

Either way, a Man's gotta right to his thoughts.

True, Donz Makes a good point, not many guys here would have bought if their wives weren't already on the rent to own program first

If they can't stop it in a lil Muslim country like Kuwait there is no way it would ever happen in Thailand. Though, to humor you, if it was banned I would be happier NOW, because I am paid in Dollars and I KNOW the value of the baht would be negatively impacted.

I think it is a racist term, simply because I've never heard it used in a way that wasn't derogatory. As said before, "black" & "white" can be used in a derogatory or a simply descriptive way, but "yellow" always seems to be used in an insulting manner. Maybe because it is a more antiquated term, used when people were less racially aware than they are today.

...Not unlike calling an American Indian a "red man" or "red skin." Although in common usage 50 years ago, politically incorrect nowdays. And like the above earlier comment, funny thing, they aren't really red either.

Aww yeah, we have gotten way past such blatant racism in America like that

But then again in all fairness I guess it's still a touch more classy then what was popular Stateside in the 30's

Anyone for a smoke?

Even before there was Tiger, America yearned to have us on the greens......

Oh and yellow....forget it, Jin ( www.jinsite.com ) couldn't look this thug on his worst (or best depending on who you look at it) Day!

I would probably avoid the term Yellow...but hey thats me.

I think it is a racist term, simply because I've never heard it used in a way that wasn't derogatory. As said before, "black" & "white" can be used in a derogatory or a simply descriptive way, but "yellow" always seems to be used in an insulting manner. Maybe because it is a more antiquated term, used when people were less racially aware than they are today.

...Not unlike calling an American Indian a "red man" or "red skin." Although in common usage 50 years ago, politically incorrect nowdays. And like the above earlier comment, funny thing, they aren't really red either.

Aww yeah, we have gotten way past such blatant racism in America like that

Why am I not offended when I am called white?

Or am I when I am called Black?

I don't know, yellow just seems kinda antiqudated? Plus the strong cowardless implications the word has in the States.... I would avoid it, callem Asians, so simple and accurate.

I'm getting a little bit fed up with all these ass-licking posts and comments like: if you don't like it, get out!

Thailand is problably the weirdest place on earth:

-The people are hypocritical liars

-It's corrupt as can be

-There's a very negative attitide towards farang (behind the fake smiles)

-For beautiful beaches, we really have to go to other countries around the globe

-The food is horrible and not Thai at all (Chinees, Malay)

-Traffic

-Pollution

-Etc....

But still we love it! Weird, na?

TIT

You're a "glass half empty" sorta guy ain't you?

Dammm sounds more like a "glass half full of piss" sorta guy

Mabey he has never been to, Cairo, Philippines, Indonesia, or Cambodia....

In Thailand you feel alive!

Yes! exactly! Back when I lived in Philadelphia working a 9 - 5 for the phone company, time seemed to rush by like water wirlpooling down a drain. Somehow, for me Thailand is different. It is as if every day counts, like your living aware, truely present each and everyday. I feel truly alive and as if each day is a lil bit more meaningful somehow.

The only time I go there is on Song Krong with duel Super Soakers and wet everyone up. Other than that, I find KSR to be something of a cess filter for farang in BKK, catching all the scuzzy, broke ass, back packers, and greedy, trifling israelis. It thankfully dose us all a favor by keeping them from spreading around the city as a whole. 3 cheers for KSR! I hate the place but I am VERY glad it's there.

You simply just know.... Graceless, you just know. It's like religion, everyone who believes has their own personal relationship with the Gods. Each one different than the next man's but equally as valid, equally as true.

I can't blame you guys with all the Taxes, now a new "Green" Tax for flights out of the UK...damm Thats just plain userous.

Oh well, at least you know were the next investment boon for Pattaya will be.

Think Geriatrics

I would say marry who you can relate too and who can relate to you. That is if your looking for meaningful mentally stimulating companionship. Note however that is a big "IF" I have seen a ton of marriages between worn out bar girls from Issan and loosers from farangland that are more along the lines of contracts or marriages of convenience if you will. Security and escape from poverty and prostitution for the girl and feminine companionship of a quality that would not be accessible to him back home for the man. And that works too, for what it was intended. Problems arise when when folks attempt to kid themselves into believing their relationship is something thats it's not.

But really and truly, your best bet is to know yourself and go after someone on or slightly above your caliber.

Keep age and relative financial backgrounds within due bounds. Educational backgrounds should be similar too. Ask what her dreams are, tell her yours, pay attention to what she doesn't say as much as what she dose when you explain them to her. Dose she understand you? Dose she agree and appreciate them? If so your on the right track, if not keep it rollin.

Yes easier said then done, but she should be your life mate so, why not take some time and put some effort into it?

Seems to me that this question in Thai Visa Forum is not representitive of the general Farang population in Thailand.

Most of the posters on this Forum are married to high powered, high earning hi-so women, the others have girlfriends they met in top universities who have connections to the monied elite.

We even used to have a poster whose wife was having lunch with the deputy Prime Minister on a regular basis.

How can one expect truthful or accurate replies on an anonymous internet forum?

I don't know man, in my experiences with the guys who marry bar girls, they generally don't give a F*&^ what anyone else thinks ( guess you would have too) and have no problems saying they met their wife in a bar. I Rember my boss for my first middle east Assignment was a Salty old Marine that married a Philipeno bar girl. his wife came by the office while we were all outside on a ciggerate break, he told us without hesitation,after she had left, "Yeah I took her out of the bar, I don't blame here thats just the way of escaping poverty for these women"

When it's just her and I, It's always my money even if it comes out of her pocket, I have seen to that. However for family meals I have to fight the Dad for the bill, he always wants to pay.

I gave up Pattaya.

It's were I first really and truly lived on my own in life and it will always have a place in my heart. *Sigh* I shall miss her.

Mabey some of you guys can relate to this.

I was feeling a lil bumed out a while back thinking of Christmas this year. It used to be Grandma's house was the place to be. I would sit on the couch next to grandad in his favorite chair, and I would laugh with him as he would talk about girls or times long gone. My aunt would be playing her OLD original Jackson 5 Christmas Album. Her young children my cousins running around chasing the cats giggleing trying to figure out what was for them all wrapped up under the tree. And the Smell of Grandma's Cooking! Aww man..what I would give just to smell that heavy spiced turkey aroma mixed with the sweet smell of Ham and freshly baked sweet potatoe pies.....

Miss thouse days.

My grandparents both passed on last year, my lil cousins are in college, and nothing is left but the old Jackson 5 record. (NO I am not going to EBAY the record )

So I was talkin to my Dad and I explained how I felt and he said...."Well thats life son, now you just gotta make your own Tradditons!"

And while it wasn't particularly comforting at the time, I later began to realise what a wonderful opportunity that it was. Christmas in Thailand! I will be with my new family members (my fiance's people) At their place outside of BKK. I'll bit sitting on the couch with both Dad's (I'm flying mine in from the States) Talking about girls and Old times. The difference I'll probably be watching Thai Boxing and not frosty the Snow man, and the TV is Plasma and not our old floor model. My new cousins nong gip and nong ploy will be running around playing and jumping on my lap saying "P Ken, P Ken!" and in the best English "How are you?" or my personal favorite from the fat little one "I am so happy.." she sounds so adorable you just want to hug her every time she says it.

Sure no turkey to smell but Grandma will be in the kitchen cooking up some mean curry, the only Beef on the table and she makes it special JUST for me. My Fiance' will be looking GORGEOUS, and her father's presence will keep any bickering or spitefulness from the evil aunt, if she even comes, at a minimum.

So yeah It's not what I grew up with but It's not a bad deal. I look forward to building new traditions:)

Hey Man you know really it's like anywere else. You just need to know what YOU want, be in the game, but don't commit till you are satsifed that you have what you want. Took me 3 years there to find my fiance' and I went through alot of pleasent yet meaningless , stagnant relationships that wern't going anywere. As far as the one that got away, don't worry about it. If she loved her self or you she would have told the family to kiss off. My Grandmother in law came from a rich chineese family too. She ran off with her Pakistani Dance instructor and never looked back. So don't belive them when they say, Oh I can not! Because if they love you enough they will come with you. IF and this is a big IF they belive you will be true to them and not leave them. Because if you do leave and they ditched their family they will be totaly ass out.

But anyway, check out www.thailandfriends.com It worked for me. Yes there are some shadey hoes on there too apparently, however it's a good place to start.

Best of luck and just take it as it comes, and don't accept anything less than whats best for you. You know when your with a good woman when being with her forces you to kick it up a notch. Mine has helped me become a better man, challenged me to do more. And in return she has given me more and allowed me to mentor her into a better woman.

You can do it. Good luck and take your time.

Yes and end Up with Auntie Dracular fom the Blackest Parts Unknown...Hmnnn...

LOL! True True, but atleast I don't have to wake up next to the bitch

Oh and I spotted another poster a few posts back that said something moronic like "I lived in Thailand for 2 years and normal women never go out with Farangs unless it's about money..."

You sir, or lady as the case may be, are a F'ing Moron!

I don't even want to bother tearing apart that obviously inaccurate statement. I will just say to the OP, people are people man. The same time of "normal"folks back home that would date a forgiener are the same time of people here that will.

I mean hel_l, everyone likes something different right? Check it out some old timers that been around here for awhile. You can almost tell what nationality the BG has been messing around with just by how she looks. I've noticed that Europeans, Germans and Scandi's especially will always hook up with the blackest skinniest girl they can find, each and every time. While You know a girl has spent time in the Harem of some Saudi Sheik if she is big and fat and white as Arabs and Africans especially, can't get enough of them. Japanese go for the little white lolita looking chicks. Yes of course these are just generalizations but it happens allot.

Bar girl or Not, Thai or Farang, many "Normal People" like something different. And theres some girl out there just for you. Take your time, enjoy the game, for one day you will have to put it on the shelf and play a new one when you get committed.

Hey Man you know really it's like anywere else. You just need to know what YOU want, be in the game, but don't commit till you are satsifed that you have what you want. Took me 3 years there to find my fiance' and I went through alot of pleasent yet meaningless , stagnant relationships that wern't going anywere. As far as the one that got away, don't worry about it. If she loved her self or you she would have told the family to kiss off. My Grandmother in law came from a rich chineese family too. She ran off with her Pakistani Dance instructor and never looked back. So don't belive them when they say, Oh I can not! Because if they love you enough they will come with you. IF and this is a big IF they belive you will be true to them and not leave them. Because if you do leave and they ditched their family they will be totaly ass out.

But anyway, check out www.thailandfriends.com It worked for me. Yes there are some shadey hoes on there too apparently, however it's a good place to start.

Best of luck and just take it as it comes, and don't accept anything less than whats best for you. You know when your with a good woman when being with her forces you to kick it up a notch. Mine has helped me become a better man, challenged me to do more. And in return she has given me more and allowed me to mentor her into a better woman.

You can do it. Good luck and take your time.

Yeah Kayo, I think your right. If I look at it a lil closer our points don't necessarily collide. I just was thrown for a loop with the good guys loosing remark. It seemed to imply the Christians were the good guys. If I translated that wrong, Robski let me know. But I think the "Good guys" come in all faiths on this issue. You got the good Christians who don't buy into the war mongering crusader politics of my red neck bigot president and scum like Bill Orieley. These people pray for peace and try to promote understanding and tolerance like their Christ would have. Then you got the Good Muslims like Iraqis who risk their lives for $800 month to be a police officer in Baghdad because they want to save their country from thugs masquerading as Mujdadeen (holy warriors). Or Men like the boy's father from this article who refused to let his son join in with the terrorists in Southern Thailand. I believe there are more Good Guys than bad, but the media can't sell commercial slots at a premium with stories of the good guys.

Over cynical, perhaps but I believe it's the truth. Man at his core really isn't as bad as we make ourselves out to be sometimes. Sure you have some bad guys but they are almost always out weighed by the good.

It ain't religion that's so bad.

I might even have become religious if it weren't for the manner in which religion is often preached.

the goodness that can come fof religion I admire and respect immensly. But it has been so used as a tool to influence the masses that it has irreversibly corrupted itself in it's present form, be it Christianity, Buddhism, Muslim, Sikh, etc....

It is therefore not religion that is bad, or an opiate to the masses.

It is the (majority of) preachers and the masses themselves who are the guilty parties. The former fro using a power of goodness for selfish, egotistical and irrational goals, and the latter for not being smarter than that and being gullible and had.

One example: The Renaissance came about after the printing press was invented. This is when people started to learn how to read, and started to read the bible, and come up with their own views on the readings. Started disagreeing with the church. This is when Lutherans and Calvinists came into being. The protestants.

This is when the anglican church came into being.

This is also when people in Europe started to see that there were other ways.

This is when forms of Agnosticism and Atheism came into a larger scale being.

And this is also when so many of the modern day inventions came into being, including many aspects of the sciences.

People started exploring and discovering more. They were no longer tied down by the guilt and oppression of the churches.

So what has happened?

Do you mean 'so what has happened?' as in after 250+ years of progressive enlightenment we are plunging back into a religious dark age, making it look like all that has been achieved in human emancipation, will just become a blip on the radar of human existence? oh that 'so what has happened?' I think you know the answer, but it's a thought provoking question, so...

Two Religions that serve the same role, to control the people and consolodate power. Three of course, but let's not go there.

In the richer societies people are turning to religion because the world is moving too fast and they are willing to hand over thinking to those that advocate Christianity, for the sake of an easy answer.

In poorer or unjust societies the advocates of Islam are using religion as a rallying point for the disaffected, with financial aid people feel that Islam is the only 'group' that cares for them.

They have to play one off the other, without evil there cannot be good, when people live in fear they can be controlled. A nightmare of Orwellian proportions.

Of course there are a lot of people that are rational and enlightened in this world, but they don't control the media or govenment or religion, and therefore are not 'with the program'.

It's spiritual warfare, and it is being lost by the good guys.

Well friend I hate to break it to you but Both Islam and Christianity cater equally to the type of people you mentioned in either example. Take a so called poor and unjust society say like Columbia (or just about any South American country) were the Roman Catholic church has held major sway for centuries and people live and die by their saints.

Or lets take a Rich society, like Kuwait, were things really are moving WAY too fast for a people whom (before oil) were living a very simple nomadic lifestyle. They are Quite wealthy and yet they hand over governance to people who advocate Islam rather than to think for themselves.

I'm no big proponent for Islam, but you imply in your post here that it is some how something for poor or unjust countries only. From what I have seen Islam, or it's followers are no better or worse than any of the "Abrahamic" religions or it's devotees. Certainly more similarities than differences thats for sure.

I despise missionaries. Why if your going to help some one why must you also try and make him change gods as payment for your aid. Just do good for the sake of doing good. Your reward shall come from putting good and positive energy and deeds out into the universe. Missionaries like cancer, form Tumors in societies that inevitably serve to isolate people into groups of believers and non believers. Were before there was unity after a missionary there is nothing but division and turmoil.

Chinoa Achebe, a well known African Artist wrote a great book about the affect of Missionaries in Africa called "Things Fall Apart"

Really lays down how they function and their negative impact on society.