Morden

I've seen farang ladies in The Mall but they may have been tourists - farang husbands and bored kids looking for KFC.

You will be living somewhere near to Pak Tong Chai. There are farang out there, the market is superb for meat, fruit and veg. and the parking is easier than in Korat.

As I understand it, there are a few farang watering holes but, in addition to that, walk around The Mall for 20 minutes and you'll meet plenty more! Will you be living in town or outside? Some of the villages around Korat town are quickly filling with farang too!

We got married, the Amphur thing, on July 16th. The Buddhist blessing is on Friday 4th. Two days to go.

I agreed 50,000 sin sod with the mother 6 months ago. This is spread over 6 months. The money will go into a separate account for my wife should anything happen to me and she's left with nothing. It's not a lot of money and  it really dosn't bother me if its swallowed up and never gets to my wife. As has been posted before, as long as makes everyone happy.

However, a short while ago we were going through the proceedure on Friday and I was astounded to hear that 13 relatives, who I knew would be at the ceremony, were expecting to go out for lunch on me afterwards. I wasn't too impressed and fortunately the situation is now resolved.

We will bring some food to the temple for her Mum who's a Buddhist nun and will perform the ceremony. No monks. She's high enough to do it herself. The sin sod and rings will be presented, prayers etc said and that's it. Her family are happy that the two of us just want a quiet night by ourselves afterwards.

The point of all that to the OP is that the goalposts can change very quickly  here, so it's important that everyone understands the marriage agreement in the first instance.

I'm just sticking to mine and no one's too bothered.

Good luck.

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Nice post - and I hope that it all goes well.

Often, I think, there are misunderstandings across the cultural divide that we may initially see as attempts to empty the pockets of farang. I have found that matters can usually be resolved by regarding them as items for us alone to discuss and decide on. We explain to each other our views and preferences, come to agreement and my wife tells everyone else how it's going to be.

I am 44 years old

Wife 27 years old.

I dont think that age has got anything to do with it, as long as you are happy together which we are.

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agreed

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Absolutely right and it's no-one else's business either.

I can't understand why some people get so upset about age differences (greater than their own) when there are other inequalities in the world that, perhaps, really do deserve our disgust.

Pudgimelon has it exactly right - the wedding is nothing to do with you but has everything to do with the prestige of your bride and her family. If you want your wife to be happy on her wedding day, let her have what she wants and tip up the sinsod with a smile. If you don't know much about sinsod, find out quickly!

Why do you think that there is a conflict between Buddhism and Atheism? Regard your lady's beliefs as a philosophy rather than a religion and accept that if it's important to her you will go along with it. If her family are Buddhists, there will be no compromise.

Incidentally, if you marry your lady, you will become part of her family just as you would in your own country. You don't seem to know much about their customs and etiquettes and, if not, this would be a good time to start to learn more.

Best Wishes for the future.

Now that the TV intellectuals have decided that everyone can only be in love with someone who is exactly the same age as them - 8 years difference is unacceptable and frankly disgusting - we have to do something about couples in which one partner is more attractive than the other; Of course, this is absolutely loathsome also.

If they are equally attractive when they get married and one partner ages badly, do you all think that the ugly one should be put down like a rabid dog, put in solitary confinement,  or merely assigned to an equally ugly partner?

After this we can make rules about equal educations and incomes and then move on to equal body weights.

After that, the same eyesight ratios?

Ain't love grand? 

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And, of course there are those couples where there is a height difference! Should the tall one have his or her legs shortened? Should the short one be made to walk on stilts. should they be forced to separate. Who do these people think they are walking around in broad daylight offending the prejudices of the small-minded and emotionally immature? On the other hand, we do provide them with a talking point other than football.

There are some things that some of us, many of us, will never know about each other. Society conditions us to couple in a similar age group because it enhances the economic machine. Does it not?

The Great American/ Australian/ European/ whatever Dream! Couple, mortgage, car, kids, education, vacations.......... DREAM, DREAM, DREAM!!!!!!!!!

Work your arse off then you Die!!!

So why not enjoy your life if you find a cool person who is compatible .... does it matter about the age group? ENJOY YOUR LIFE! MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICE!!!!!!!

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Quite so - but, of course, one needs the maturity that comes with age and experience to understand the point!

I'm 56, she's 31. We have a nice life together. Have a look at our photo in my profile:

Profile Photo

Do we look disgusting?

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No, you look great together.

Let's not kid ourselves. I am a 25 year old guy and every Thai/Laos girl I've met (and they'vew probably been honest as, being young, they know I won't be offended) has told me that the thought of kissing an old man repulses them. However, older guys are seen as being richer so they do it. It's life. Sorry to speak the truth.

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True True!!!

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True enough, but your testing "sample" is rather limited.

How many Thai/Laos girls who are not prostitutes go around talking about their sexual preferences with foreigners?

In case you haven't figured it out yet, prostitutes don't usually have the luxury of choosing their customers, and young "handsome" men are notoriously cheap.

Maybe your friends should choose a different line of work.

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There are still young thai/laos women who are saying this . It just makes me laugh . I dont see non working girls with old men , i take that back attractive women with old men

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You ain't been looking, then!!!!!!!!

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And you know thier last job right ? OK then they use them to get the Dowry and the house then say bye bye !

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You must have had a bad experience. Sorry about that.

Let's not kid ourselves. I am a 25 year old guy and every Thai/Laos girl I've met (and they'vew probably been honest as, being young, they know I won't be offended) has told me that the thought of kissing an old man repulses them. However, older guys are seen as being richer so they do it. It's life. Sorry to speak the truth.

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True True!!!

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True enough, but your testing "sample" is rather limited.

How many Thai/Laos girls who are not prostitutes go around talking about their sexual preferences with foreigners?

In case you haven't figured it out yet, prostitutes don't usually have the luxury of choosing their customers, and young "handsome" men are notoriously cheap.

Maybe your friends should choose a different line of work.

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There are still young thai/laos women who are saying this . It just makes me laugh . I dont see non working girls with old men , i take that back attractive women with old men

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You ain't been looking, then!!!!!!!!

We are talking about when a couple is intimiate in public chownah as per the OP's first post. Touched a nerve did I? And personally I think mick jagger/rod stuart et all look equally as stupid with young dolly birds hanging off their arms, They have 2 things going for them money & fame.

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Yeah, money and fame. Good for them. It's as legitimate as anything else. What upsets folk is that they won't have money and fame and so won't have a dolly bird on their arms when they are 20-odd years older.

who says people don't find it disgusting to see an old wrinkly man with a young women.? A lot of it depends on what the older person looks like, if they are in good shape & take care of their apperance then a largish age difference isn't instantly noticable but anything over 25years IMO is too much as it doesn't matter how trendy/well kept the older person is they always look their age next to someone young enough to be their child.

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Mick Jagger and L’Wren Scott . Age difference 24 years. Height difference...who knows.She is about 6'3" Sir Mick is about 5' something. Now that must be a sight.

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Just picking you up on your signature, may we see a pic. of the two of you togther, please?

Some posts in this thread are gratuitously insulting not just to relationships where there is a significant age difference but to older men as individuals. Each is entitled to his or her own opinion but there is no need to make unpleasant and sweeping remarks and throw them into the faces of people that you haven't even met.

Why do some younger men feel so strongly against these relationships and want to make rude and cliched remarks about older men, I wonder? Are they jealous? Do they fear their own middle and old age? Let's consider a few advantages that older guys have over you young bucks:

1. They have made it to old age but you may not.

2. They challenge your assumptions about old age.

3. They probably have more money in their pockets and aren't facing decades of mortgages, loans, family ties and financial uncertainty.

4. They have a pension fund and so can offer financial security.

5. They have experience of long-term relationships and know better how to treat a woman.

6. They know why women like them but you can't figure it out.

7. They know that having a good time does not have to mean leaving your wife at home and getting totally ratted with your friends.

8. They have a track record to show whether or not they are butterfly men.

9. They are still attractive to young women but you may not be when you reach the same age.

10. They might be more attractive to your wife than you are.

Maybe there are other advantages too.

So, you young bloods, let's have more respect for the oldies who won't just lie down to die or spend their evenings babysitting for you! With luck, you may be doing as well as them when you reach old age.

Needless to say, the above is meant in the kindest possible way and with as much tongue in cheek as the posts to which I refer.

I have to say, Monkeypants, that the negative stories posted here are the exact opposite of what we experienced. Maybe a lot has to do with the hotel that you choose. As I said earlier Katcha was excellent and under the watchful eye of the owners all day. It's not the cheapest but neither is it the most expensive. We did see some pretty rough looking accomodation along the beach and elsewhere but if you stick to the newer but completed establishments you should be OK. A few web searches had told us that the older establishments were a bit basic so we stayed well clear and left them to the backpackers.

Try this resort:

http://www.hotels-kohchang.com/koh-chang/koh-chang-kacha.htm

We can recommend it. The rooms are excellent (a/c, tv, safe etc) and so is the service. Open air restaurant on the beach. If you want something more rustic for your evening meal, all that you have to do is just walk along the beach and take your choice from the restaurants that appear as the tide recedes. It's on White Sands Bay and the sand really is white. The sea is only chest deep even at 100m from the shoreline. The resort may have a pool by now but who would want to use it when the sea is so fantastic beats me.

Here's a pic taken from the resort looking down the beach.

There are speed limits but I can't remember what they are. If you keep to sensible speeds you should be OK. There are farang who talk about being 'fined on the spot', by which they are suggesting that the cash doesn't reach the public purse. I have no first hand knowledge of this except to say that, when I was once pulled over for being a bit quick away from some lights, I just got a ticking off. Having a car full of Thais may have helped me there.

As I said, just drive at a reasonable speed and you should be OK. As with so many things in LOS. if you make yourself stand out from the crowd more than you have to, someone will notice. If you are stopped, I would say that the golden rule is to be pleasant and pay up the few Baht that you may be asked to rather than have a showdown at the local nick.

We have a house going up not far from Korat and, so far, the builder is spot on. He doesn't do land clearance or fill but we know people who do. If you post information about where your house will be in relation to Korat town, I will have some idea of whether or not they are near enough to be of use to you.

Speak to your bank.

I upgraded my account for £10 a month and in return get annual family travel insurance worldwide, plus free ATM withdrawls whilst away. Not too sure on how long each trip can be though.

For my long travels I have used direct travel insurance but just take a look on the internet. Be careful of the hazardous activities though, Im a scuba-diver and some places dont cover it.

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I would advise anyone carefully to read the details of any free travel cover offered by banks and the like. In fact, compare the paperwork that they give to you with, for example, that supplied by the providers mentioned earlier in the thread. I buy from Insure and Go who provide every single detail up front, just as the FSA requires. My bank also offers 'free' cover as part of a customer package for which I pay a monthly fee. I suppose that means it's not entirely free but, more to the point, the cover is poor compared to the cover that I actually buy and the detail of the information offered to me is brief. Furthermore, where's the expertise should you need it? To whom can you direct a technical question? Are you sure that, having relied on cover that the bank has obtained at a cut rate to itself, you will get the help you need when a problem arises? Banks sell insurance as if it were cans of beans and, in my experience, are not making the same detailed disclosures as regulated professionals.

Try here:

http://quote.insureandgo.com/default.aspx?bId=114&RsId=1

You might want to play aroung with the Destination section.

It's important to go to something more positive rather than merely run away from that which is negative or painful. If you're depressed now, how would you feel if you gave up what you have, went to LOS and then found one day that it wasn't for you?

The advice about using some therapy to help you lighten your feelings of depression is sound. I'm not suggesting that this is the whole solution for you but, when you feel somewhat better about life, you'll be able to make a much better balanced judgement about what you want to do next.

An old lady used to say to me, and anyone else who would listen, 'If you're not sure what to do, tread water'. That may be sound advice for you too.

Try Googling on Thailand+Insurance.

Here's a result to get you started:

www.thaiwebsites.com/insurance.asp

Eastender,

There's the DIY way to do this if you enjoy dashing from one office to another and waiting in queues - or, if all that gives you a headache and you don't mind spending a few Baht to avoid it, there's the easy way.

The easy way is to pay an agent to smooth the way and do the running around for your wife while she enjoys some shopping.

If you are interested, PM me for details of a very good BKK agent who will explain costs on the 'phone and tell you what is involved. The best time for your wife to apply would be in December before the holidays so that she gets maximum benefit from the 12 month period. As I recall, the agent did it in a day with my wife spending all of 5 minutes queuing for her medical certificate.

A word, in your ear though. My wife took one look at the way we drive in the UK, decided that we were all too crazy and 'busy' and refused to get behind the wheel!

The country would be owned by foreigners.

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I doubt very much that would happen Morden. Look at how tiny the UK is, in comparison to Thailand. Yet we still let anybody buy property and land here. Yes, it's pricey but still not owned by foreigners. Look at all of the bare land in LOS, i think the amount of foreigners who would actually want to buy land, would have a pretty minimal effect. I think, we (UK) as a country, should not allow any foreigner to buy in the UK, if their own country's policy doesn't allow foreigners to do it. Just a thought.

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Simplification to make the point on my part. I was trying to say that if a country in which property is cheap allows comparatively wealthy foreigners to buy land, then the local people will not be able to afford that which is, for many, the only means of survival.

I don't necessarily disagree with your point about the law in the UK but I think the potential for harm in a wealthy and expensive country is probably much less than it is in LOS. However, the law is the law and if we want to live in LOS we have to accept it as it is. There's a delicate economic balance that, for all it's faults, keeps it the country that we love.

You might take a look at these people:

http://www.herrmannsuits.com/index.htm

I had some suits and shirts made there earlier this year. The cloth (mainly Italian) and styling is excellent. There's no-one outside to drag you in and the place oozes quality garments off the peg as well as ready made. Not the cheapest but still cheap compared with the UK. I have only two reservations:

1. They pushed me hard to buy more than I wanted. But it's up to you to know what you want and stick to it.

2. Some of the stitching on one of the suits wasn't finished and seams opened later. My fault for rushing the fitting and finishing so that I could have the clothes before going up country. Next time, I shall mention this to the owner and ask him to make sure that the stitching is tied off.

I can't remember what I paid for the suits but I think that they were about half the price of a UK off-the-peg close equivalent. They made me six shirts to wear with the suits and I paid £15 each - including my initials on the pocket.

They also make and sell very nice ladies' clothes so send the loved one off somewhere else or it'll cost you double!!

Can you imagine if they had the equivalent of Thai property laws in USA? Americans seem to have no problem with the country ( and related businesses) being purchased by foreigners. Maybe they could wipe out the national debt by selling the country to China!! (Just being scarcastic)

I am grappling with this isssue now, since I am living in Thailand and have a Thai wife. I have been told innaccurate information and outright lies, by numerous people here. My judgement so far is to rent and perhaps buy a condo, sometime in the future, that I can own. Love and marriage and change like the wind. I would try to retain my financial destiny under my control.

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You are probably one of many who have misunderstood this issue and it's amazing how doggedly, even desperately, some farang hang on to the belief that they can own land in LOS.

I don't know the reasons, other than cultural and historical, why Thailand prevents foreigners from owning land. However, it does make sense. Most Thais struggle to own or keep any capital asset. Their land, for those who own it, is the foundation of their security. It's more precious to them than their gold. If we were allowed to wander around their country buying up land as we might like to, the price of it would soon be out of the reach of local people. Some would make a short term gain by selling but lose their future financial security. The country would be owned by foreigners and LOS would lose its character and independence. The poor would be poorer still.

If you want to avoid the prospect of paying for property in LOS but not owning it then, yes, rent a home or buy a condo. But what about your wife? What does she want? If you pop your clogs before her, where would she live? Would she prefer a home that she owns close to her family? And an income or pension? You may assume that either she will die first or you will divorce but there are other assumptions that you could work to. If we lived our lives by our assumptions for the future, there are many things that we might get wrong!